Just a bit, while it lasts
by DAMNINEEDANAME
Summary: The creation of darkness is a development. It all has a beginning. 1937. Tom Riddle is a mysterious child at Wool's Orphanage, London. Everything is so boring - until he meets Joelle Cole, Mrs Cole's sixteen year old niece. She tells him to never give up. He never does. And he never forgets years later. But can she help him? Tom Riddle/OC
1. Wool's Orphanage

**AN:**

 **Hey everyone! I know, there are so many stories in my head and they just need to get out; otherwise I'd just be crawling around in my bed, thinking of them for hours. I wanted to share, okay? Okay! Yes, I do have a Tom Riddle weakness at the moment, been having it for maybe two months now, and it's strong, soooo strong. *cough* (...)**

 **What you need to know:**

 **This is Tom Riddle we are talking about here. As you read, please don't expect some overly romantic lovebird. This is Tom. Riddle. And the way I interpret his character. HOWEVER. For all you TR lovers out there, I'm sure there will be one or the other moment where...did I say something?**

 **Timeline** **: Starting with Tom's childhood somewhen before his time at Hogwarts; continuing on to his teenage years and on**

 **Warnings** **: might or might not contain naughty things, maybe a bit of roughness, heartbreak, some drama, some I-HATE-YOU-PLEASE-DIE heart-cringing moments, cliffhangers and everything else you will dislike and (hopefully?) love to read.**

 **I do not own anything of Harry Potter. Nothing at all. I know it's sad. I know. So leave me fanfiction. Now, have fun! And please review every once in a while, it's a writer's returned present : )**

 **Chapter 1: Wool's Orphanage**

* * *

 _It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail -_ **Lech** **Wałęsa**

* * *

 _All of them._ Tom thought to himself. One of these days he would be able to pay them back somehow. Billy Stubbs. Amy Benson. Eric Whalley. Dennis Bishop. And the others that thought a worm in Tom's jacket was incredibly funny. Funny. They did not know what his version of fun was. Sure, one or the other had received a taste of it in the past. It wasn't like they were completely clueless. They forgot, clearly so, what else would be the answer? Tom sat in front of the window, narrowing his focused eyes that followed the running figures down in the yard chasing after a ball. They will feel sorry.

CRASH.

Dennis fell down, Eric stumbled over him, ripping Amy along. Tom watched them rolling around in the dirt, a slight grin crept up his usually so blank face - only to contort into a frown the other second. Amy laughed. Why did she laugh? Eric and Dennis threw grass at her, pulling each one that tried to get up back to the ground. They thought it was funny.

 _Funny_.

Tom's nostrils flared as he stacked some rocks upon another, growing bored of it all too easily. His eyes flickered towards the window again, he picked up a rock and smacked it down on the window sill.

CRASH.

The ball went flying straight against Eric's head; he tumbled to the ground, laying there motionlessly while the other kids scattered around him, shaking his shoulder. Eric did not get up.

There it was again, that tingling ant-marching of mischievous joy. It rose in Tom's body like a warm sunrise on an autumn-morning, slowly, steadily - incredibly good. _So good._

Tom closed his eyes, hearing the exasperated yelps for help and the overly motherly voice of Mrs. Cole rushing into the yard.

 _So good._

None of the kids dared to look at Tom during dinner. The orphans sat around a dark brown wooden table in the middle of a way too small dining room. Its grey color never lit up enough hope to be exchanged for a better or more vivid reflection of Wool's orphanage's lifestyle - quite in fact, it was a true statement of everybody's mood, including that of Mrs. Cole, who, with an oddly thin mouth, poured in some soup for all of them. Tom sat to her very left where she could keep a close watch on him.

Billy, older than Tom by about a year or so, helped handing over the small portions. He started with Tom, who instantly pulled the bowl towards his chest, ignoring the groaning from the other kids and the commands to pass it on and that he'd be given his food last "just as he deserved". Tom leaned on his elbow, staring into the lifeless liquid in his bowl, no twitch of his facial features whatsoever. The complaints stopped when Mrs. Cole waved her hand down, signaling the other children to be quiet now. There was a minute of silence for everyone.

"Tom! Not now!" Frowned Amy.

"Put down your spoon! The minute is not over!" Groaned Dennis.

"He's eating already, Mrs. Cole!"

Mrs. Cole inhaled deeply, looking at Tom with a worn out expression.

"Tom. Please put down your spoon. Our thoughts turn to those who have nothing, you know how it is, it's not your first dinner here, is it?"

Tom shrugged, his head still resting on his elbow as he kept on circling the spoon around the bowl in motion that clearly signalled boredom. Billy, having had enough, rolled his eyes and sighed, ripping the spoon out of Tom's hand to put it back down onto the table with a loud thud. Silence. Tom leaned up from his elbow almost mechanically, his head slowly turned to Billy, staring intensively, but nothing was said - only the sound of Mrs. Cole clearing her throat was audible as she nodded at everyone with a forced smile.

"You can start eating now" she said.

With his arms resting behind his head, Tom stared up to the ceiling later that night. The bed was too small for his tall frame, one or the other bedspring poked uncomfortably into his back but he barely felt it as he thought about his teacher, Mrs. Gale, visiting Mrs. Cole again somewhen after tomorrow's lessons. She would have to confront Mrs. Cole with the fact that Tom Riddle did not do any of his homework assignments, shewould have to report that Tom is too quiet during the classes. She would make it sound like everything was Tom's fault, as if he could change feeling bored.

So bored.

Tom sat up, staring against the dark wall, then to the window. It must have been around one ó clock in the morning when he had gotten up and carefully sneaked across the dark corridor over to Billy's room. He opened the door, glaring at the sleeping figure in front of him. He had not forgotten.

What first? Giving Billy a nightmare? No, that one was an old shoe. _Nightmares_. Tom never understood why anyone would seriously be scared of a dream - but he did well to use this against others if necessary. During the past couple of days, he had to realize that it was necessary indeed, this time, however, he wanted to plan ahead, wanted something more lasting. Tom narrowed his eyes at Billy, his nostrils flared again. As the blond male turned around and slowly blinked his eyes open, he saw Tom sitting by the edge of his bed, causing him to instantly shoot up from his sleeping position, too groggy to form any comprehensible words, however. "Wha-"

"What was that during dinner." Asked Tom calmly, but the commanding way of his tone left Billy no other conclusion than to realize that this kid was dead serious on finding out.

"Wha- whaddaya doing in my room?" Billy grumbled sleepily. "It's...good lord, it's late, go to bed! Or I'll tell-"

"You won't tell anyone. A. Thing." Murmured Tom, his eyes narrowing yet again. "Are we clear on that?"

Billy rubbed his eyes. "What do you want? All I did was-"

"Opposing me" spoke Tom calmly while he got up to pace around. "And do you really think I would let you slip?"

"I really just want to sleep." Said Billy, frowning. He sat up and ruffled his hand through his hair while yawning and glancing at Riddle, whose eyes were still fixed on him. When a loud yelp reached Tom's ears, he thought it was the best moment to vanish. Why taking the risk?

He lay in his bed, inwardly counting the seconds.

"One...two...three" he thought to himself - and at the count of three, he turned around, his door opened and he could downright feel the ice cold stare of Mrs. Cole on his back. _So helpless_ , Tom thought as he watched the wall. What did they think? That they could ever catch him in the act? After all those years, did they really? _Silly_.

So silly.

With a strong sigh, he heard the matron turning around, stepping away. She locked the door tonight.

As if that ever stopped him. 

And the next morning was not any the better. Walking downstairs Tom said nothing once he opened the door without knocking. He slipped into the classroom. Nobody dared to say a word when they saw who it was.

"Tom!" Said Mr. Wornwall in surprise. "Even though the schooling takes place in this orphanage, you still manage to get here late?" He sighed and shook his head. Tom watched how his grey and white hair grew electrified when he spotted Tom, some beads of sweat formed on his dark skin. He dabbed them away with a white handkerchief that he kept on his black pants, then fixed his brown tie while clearing his throat. Tom smirked. Oh the impact he had on them.

"Very well, sit down, Tom. I- erm. I will, however, have to report this to Mrs. Cole. What are you doing at nights that you can't come here on time in the mornings?"

Tom said nothing. He turned around to Amy, who had leaned closer to Dennis to whisper something into his ear, but seeing Tom's unamused expression was enough to make her stop. The lesson proceeded in its old routine. Mathematics, so easy. English literature, so boring. History, so uninteresting.

So uninteresting.

Something had to happen. Something that could take away the dullness of the orphanage. Or the lessons, at least these incredibly pointless lessons. Tom leaned up from his elbow, his eyes focused on the blackboard - and suddenly a couple of students laughed at a particular scene ahead.

Mr. Wornwall had trouble grabbing a piece of chalk, it kept sliding only inches to the opposite direction of his reach. He frowned, fixing his glasses, trying it again. Yes of course. Tom smirked, but couldn't help shaking his head in disbelief. Of course Wornwall would try to explain it like that - must be his eyesight, his old eyes playing tricks on him, his old eyes giving him the wrong information, his old eyes. _Idiotic_. They wouldn't believe in the things he could do even when it was happening right under their very noses - and exactly that ignorance was Tom Riddle's protection.

And so time passed. Everything continued just like that. Tom knew how to gain control over one or the other kids whenever he wanted, whenever he pleased. He did not do his homework, refused to help cleaning up, declined playing in the yard. Tom saw no reason to change his eating habits either, he was just about to pull the plate of food closer to his chest this evening when a strange voice caught his attention and resulted in his plate being passed on.

"Auntie Elliie!" Squeaked a girl that Tom has never seen before, standing in the doorway close to the dining room. She was young, but older than him, maybe fifteen or sixteen, he guessed. She ran over to Mrs. Cole, letting a bag drop to the wooden panels. All the kids looked up from their plates, watching.

"Joelle!" Smiled Mrs. Cole and opened her arms, pulling the girl into a tight and warm embrace. "Oh my dear, I did not think you'd be here so soon, I thought I had to pick you up from the station tomorrow!"

"I wanted to surprise you!" Smiled Joelle, throwing some of her hair over her shoulder as they had a light conversation. Tom stared at her intensively. Joelle was what the older boys clearly thought to be beautiful judging by their dumb grinning and the nudging with their elbows, forming some curves above their chests to clearly indicate Joelle's upper body shape that seemed to please them. Bryan, a seventeen year old and the oldest around the orphanage, instantly got up from the table and took off Joelle's cloak.

"Oh, what a gentleman!" Smiled Joelle with a joyous giggle while Mrs. Cole offered her a place to sit, which was next to Tom - and to his additional dislike, Bryan sat down on the other side of him, too. How troublesome. How annoying.

So annoying.

So interesting. It was almost difficult to imagine that Mrs. Cole had family outside of Wool's orphanage, almost impossible to think.

Tom kept staring at Joelle curiously. The oldest girl in this part of the orphanage was Amy, who was only a few months older than Tom. There have barely been any Teenagers around Joelle's age, with Bryan and the few fourteen year old guys being the only exceptions. His eyes flickered to the latter, watching how he offered his plate to Joelle, who politely declined and waited for her aunt to hand her her own.

"Thanks auntie" said Joelle, but exhaled deeply. "The trip was exhausting, it's snowing outside."

"You should've let me pick you up, dear, look at you, pale as a ghosts, you must be freezing. Here, have some tea." Mrs. Cole then handed her niece the cup; Joelle wrapped her ice cold hands around the warm porcelain.

"Mrs. Cole, who is this?" Asked Eric then, a question that still remained unanswered for most. Didn't they pay attention?

"Well, everyone" started Mrs. Cole with the brightest of smiles Tom has ever seen on her face.

"This is Joelle Cole, my niece-"

"Why did we never get to see her before?" asked Billy.

"Because Joelle lived with my brother and his wife in another city, but they moved to London. As you can see, it was a surprising visit, I thought she would come here by tomorrow."

"Is she going to stay with us in the orphanage forever?" Asked Amy, smiling at Joelle - and Joelle tilted her head to the side with a pitiful expression, shaking her head.

"No, sweetheart, I'm not. But we live close to the orphanage now and that means that I will come here to help out every so often. After school, of course. And whenever I have time."

"Yay!" Squeaked Amy, but kept quiet when Tom glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. Why were they so happy about a strange girl?

"I could show you around." Said Bryan proudly. "I know this place by heart."

 _Yeah_ , Tom thought. What a nice place to show around, so special, oh yes, a hotel. Tom couldn't help but to inwardly roll his eyes. What was all the fussing about? Have they never seen a girl before? Maybe, yes, it made a slight difference that this was Mrs. Cole's niece. But what was so special about that? Tom did not understand when he started to eat like everyone else, for once.

He watched how Joelle sat straight up and moved her fork to her lips, glancing to Bryan, who crouched towards his plate and clearly thought his lips should rather go to his fork - the difference of elegance was almost laughable. Joelle blinked at Bryan.

"Not so much of a gentleman, is he?" Asked Tom in a nonchalant whisper without even looking up from his spot. Joelle glanced at him, a little surprised, because yes, that was exactly what she just thought. Bryan, totally oblivious to the fact that he was the subject of the conversation, merely continued chatting with the others.

"Dear, you will stay here for tonight, won't you? I don't want to let you go out there in the dark. Besides, your parents aren't even in London yet, are they?" Asked Mrs. Cole.

"No, they're not. Well I got the keys already, so it wouldn't be a problem to go to the house, really-"

"Not at all!" Frowned Mrs. Cole. "You're still too young, what if something will happen? - no. You shall stay here." She smiled and rubbed Joelle's shoulder. "We will find a place for you to sleep."

"She can stay in my room." Said Bryan with a smirk, but Mrs. Cole just sighed and shook her head. "Most certainly not, Bryan."

The truth is, Bryan ended up promising Mrs. Cole that he was a trustworthy individual and that he would sleep on the couch (he had saved enough money to get himself a small couch in his room) while Joelle could have the bed.

"Okay so, the kitchen..." Whispered Bryan somewhen later to Joelle as they walked along the dark corridor at night. "We sometimes sneak in for a midnight snack, but don't tell your aunt!" He snickered and Joelle couldn't help but snicker back. "Sounds like something I would do" she admitted.

"And this is my room. Number 38." He obviously pointed to a door, then sighed and paused. "And that's room 27. You wanna stay away from that."

"Why?" Asked Joelle. But Tom could not hear what else Bryan had to say about that as their voices vanished the other second.

Stay away from room 27. That was a good advice.

A good advice indeed.


	2. The Snowman

**Chapter 2: The Snowman**

 _Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides_ \- André Malraux

Maybe there was some truth to the fact that Tom Riddle was not necessarily ordinary, anything else would do nothing to please the young boy, for what on earth has made him like anyone else? Surely, there had to be greater plans for someone like him, somewhere far away from here and this orphanage. He hated this place so much.

The next day was a cold Sunday morning, most of the children were outside starting to build a snowman. It has been snowing the past couple of days; the kids could barely walk in the thick layers of white cotton. Tom, sitting in his warm room, watched expressionlessly how Eric managed to put up the snowman's head while Amy was busy finding the right twigs for its arms. Dennis seemed to look around for some stones, and as everyone put efforts in completing the snowman, Tom saw how Billy smacked his forehead and pointed to his nose; clearly one of them forgot to bring a carrot. How cliche. And why exactly it was necessary for all of them to run inside to get one, Tom did not know, but he turned away in boredom, ignoring the loud cries of frustration that he heard when the kids returned to find a stomped down snowman.

What a pity.

A knock on the door caused Tom to glance over to it. He sighed, ignoring the fact that it opened, but was particularly surprised to see Joelle Cole standing there.

"Hey." She smiled. "Can I come in?" She asked. Tom shrugged, which Joelle seemed to understand to be an invitation. She walked over to Tom's desk, sitting down on the chair. Why did she have to be here? Tom did not like it. He wanted to be left alone.

"All of the kids are playing outside, just your door is closed, no sound of you at all. Are you alright?" She asked with a soft and caring voice.

Tom shrugged again.

"Your name is Tom, right?" Joelle asked. Tom's eyes flickered up to her, his nostrils widened in anger, but he grumbled something under his breath.

"Sorry?" Joelle asked.

"I said I don't like that name," Tom murmured.

"Oh." She smiled. "Okay then. How else do you wish to be addressed?"

What an odd question, Tom thought. Usually, somebody would just ask him why exactly he didn't like his name. Wanted to find out if he was right and healthy - in the head, of course, if he was perhaps beginning to hate himself. He did not hate himself, how ridiculous was that assumption? Fine then, which name would he prefer?

Tom shrugged again. "Maybe Marvolo." He said. "It is my second name. And I don't know a single person with that name."

"Okay, _Marvolo_." Said Joelle. "Now do tell me why you wish to be inside the house while all the other kids are out."

"I don't like to play with them," said Tom simply. "And that's all there is to it."

"Oh?" Snickered Joelle. "Now, that did not sound like that's all there is to it." She got up from the chair.

"Where are you going!" Tom blurted out suddenly but he watched how Joelle frowned and pointed to the door, closing it. Tom felt the embarrassing heat starting to creep up into his face. She just wanted to close the door.

Ridiculous.

"Just why exactly are you here at the orphanage." Asked Tom with a low voice when Joelle sat back down.

"To help my aunt," she sighed. "That's all there is to it." She chuckled.

"That doesn't sound like that's all there is to it," Tom responded smoothly, playing with a stone in his hands. "You're not telling the truth."

"Oh. So you caught me?" Joelle asked with a loud chuckle, leaning back. "Then tell me, Marvolo. Why am I here?"

"You are hiding." He said simply. He looked up to her. Joelle's soft smile instantly vanished, it was as though her whole face was a mess thrown into water where it unwrinkled; it straightened out and she stared at Tom with a ghostly expression.

"How do you know that?" She asked in all seriousness.

Here she was just the same as everyone else. How do you know that, Tom? How could you find out, Tom? Who told you, Tom?

"Told you that wasn't all there is to it," He said in a silent murmur. "I always know when somebody lies to me."

"To- Marvolo, I want this to be our little secret, do you understand?" Joelle said suddenly, her kind and warm tone vanished completely. "Nobody must know."

She even sounded panicky. Tom looked up to her, then to his stone again, throwing it up and down. _Secret_. This is nice, this is getting interesting. Unfortunately for Tom, he could not dig deeper yet. He didn't know why she was hiding nor whom she was hiding from, but he could find out. And he wanted to - it was just one or the other way to escape the dull, boring routine of Wool's orphanage.

"So Mrs. Cole does not know?" He asked. Joelle shook her head.

"The less know, the better." She said softly, glancing to the door, then back to Tom again.

"Come. Let's go outside, hm? I'm sure we can build a much cooler snowman than those losers, look at that." Joelle chuckled as Tom got up to glance out of the window, seeing that Eric and the rest had rebuilt it.

"Just you and I?" Tom then asked. Joelle shrugged and nodded.

"Sure, why not. Only if you promise me to make a better snowman, though." She held up the palm of her hand and Tom smacked it with his own.

"Promised," he murmured when Joelle turned around, a slight grin crept up his lips.

"Joelle!" A girl smiled when she spotted Joelle a little later.

"Hello...Amy, right?" Asked Joelle. Amy nodded brightly.

"I thought you said just us." Tom frowned, walking up to them. Joelle chuckled, then gasped when she took a close look at him.

"What- where is your scarf? But-, you can't go out without a scarf, do you want to die?!" She shrieked and pulled off her own, wrapping it around Tom a couple of times, then patted his shoulder with content. The latter looked up to the girl, raising an eyebrow.

What an odd girl. Somebody else would've simply told him to go back in and get his scarf, but she did not think of that. Or maybe she did not want to. Whatever the reason, it almost infuriated Tom. Was she trying to be special? She was a girl. How special could girls get? With a glimpse towards Amy Benson, not special at all.

"Joelle, Joelle, look at my snowman!" She smiled brightly, pulling on Joelle's arm, who almost fell into the snow upon Amy's strength - too right, Tom thought. Amy resembled more the likes of a hippo than anything else.

"Yes, well done, Amy," said Joelle.

"She didn't do it alone." Dennis Bishop huffed, walking up, frowning at his friend. "I helped her!"

"Yes, he helped a bit," Amy shrugged and Joelle chuckled, turning around, but she just saw her black scarf in the snow and footsteps leading back towards the door. She followed them quickly, able to stop Tom from going back inside.

"But Marvolo, didn't you promise we'd make a cool snowman?" Joelle asked.

"And didn't you promise it'd be just us?" Tom asked back with a low grumble, half of his face hidden in his jacket.

"Right. That was my mistake. It's just us now. And we'll go...mhh...over there." Joelle pointed towards an empty spot. "Where nobody can bother us. What do you think?"

Tom glanced to the spot, then looked back to Joelle, shrugging with a nod as he kicked ahead some of the snow. The both of them marched there and started rolling up the base of the snowman.

"You have to smooth it out," said Tom later. "That will press the snow together and friction will prevent it from falling apart."

Joelle chuckled upon hearing this, but she left him in the belief that it was absolutely new to her. Despite Tom's clear instructions, they were a good team, and a while later, both of them stood in front of their very own snowman.

"I think he looks a lot better," said Tom proudly.

"We did a great job. But... He's a little lonely, isn't he?" Joelle snickered as she glanced over to the five snowmen at the other side of the yard.

"This one doesn't mind it," said Tom. "Not all of them need company to be happy."

"Are you sure? I once met a snowman that lived the same and had to be convinced, but it turned out that he actually liked the company a lot," Joelle grinned, smoothing out some more of the snow, walking around it.

"Did he really? Have you ever asked him?" Tom inquired, slightly amused as he walked around the snowman as well.

"No, I thought his actions told the truth," Joelle snickered.

"You'll never know the truth until you make real attempts to find out," said Tom, stopping to lean against the tree to watch Joelle because she turned around to him with a surprised frown.

"You do have a talent for words, Marvolo. You would do well to perfect it. Words are very powerful." She paused. "Probably more powerful than anything else." She sighed the last part and dusted herself off. Tom realized that her joyous face turned oddly rigid, her gaze a tad emptier than before, but she forced a smile, looking at him. "Come on. Let's get back inside."

A while later, Joelle was standing in the kitchen with Mrs. Cole, helping preparing lunch, but her attention was drawn to the entrance door close to the kitchen. It opened.

"Hey Joelle, glad to see you're still here" said Bryan Lessing, walking into the corridor while holding his brown leathery bag under his arm. Tom watched him closely from above the stairs, peeping into the kitchen's entrance that way. Bryan carried this nonchalant grin on his face as soon as he returned; oh he disliked Bryan. Tom was merely lucky not to be around him as much. Orphans at the age of fourteen were taught in a public school, and Bryan being seventeen already was close to graduating in a couple of months anyway.

"Hmm? Yes, I'm still here, I..." Joelle glanced to the clock, then back at Bryan. "It's already two p.m? Oh well."

"Bryan, tell the other kids that lunch will be ready in ten minutes." Said Mrs. Cole with a gentle smile - and Bryan nodded. "Yes, Miss. I will do that," he said and walked off, Tom quickly got up and hid in the bathroom when Bryan passed by, then, after a cautious glimpse, he walked back out to listen again.

"I hate her so much." He heard Joelle grumbling, cutting something that Tom imagined to be cucumbers. He slowly and quietly walked downstairs to catch a real picture.

"I'm sure you will get used to her," said Mrs. Cole with a knowing tone. "Just give it a chance."

"I'll never get used to her!" Joelle hissed. "She's a nightmare. Why did he have to marry her? You know, I believe he did that just to punish me, that's the only reason I can find. She did not care whether I wanted to move away from Bristol or not, did not care about the friends I had to leave behind, the school, my home. She just snapped her fingers and Daddy jumped of course, like a dog running after a large piece of beef!" She growled, throwing some meat into a bowl. "But that beef is poisoned!"

"Now, now." Said Mrs. Cole. "You are being a little too harsh on your father, dear. He fell in love again after your mother...well... And this is his way of moving on."

"But I was not ready, auntie...I was not ready yet..." Joelle whispered, Tom could hear the suffocated sniffling that was overshadowed by Mrs. Cole's comforting "shhhs" against her chest, but as quick as it was there, it had vanished already when Joelle spotted Tom.

"Oh, Marvolo." She smiled and looked away from Mrs. Cole and him, dabbing her tears off. When she turned back around, her face seemed the same again, but Tom saw her swollen eyes, he could not be fooled.

"Marvolo?" Asked Mrs. Cole with a curious chuckle.

"Yes." Said Joelle firmly. "He wants to be called Marvolo, so he will be called Marvolo. He can have any name he wants to have," she said, walking past her aunt to put down a bowl of salad on the dining room's table. Mrs. Cole smiled faintly at Tom, who leaned against the doorframe.

"Any name I wanted?" He suddenly asked. Joelle turned her face to him, nodding with a smile. "But yes, of course."

"Well," sighed Mrs. Cole. "That's not entirely true, law forbids-"

"His life, his name. He doesn't have to officially use it. Some names are better kept secret anyway," snickered Joelle; Tom could not help himself but wonder about those words.

"Come here," she then waved him by. Tom hesitated at first, but walked over to her, sitting down just when some other kids strolled into the dining room. Joelle began to filling everyone's plates and Tom felt content when she started with his, a slight smirk crept up his face. Bryan watched the girl, snickering when she only gave him the smallest piece of meat and laughed.

"Here, your big ego doesn't need to be fed any more." Joelle teased and Bryan shook his head with a chuckle, picking up the meat with his fork still being wider - that's how small it was.

"What the- did you, by any chance, already have a bite off of this?" He asked. The kids chuckled when Joelle poked Bryan's hand with a fork as he tried to reach out for a bigger piece of meat, and only granted him that when everyone else was served, winking at him. Tom watched how Bryan's face contorted into a dirty grin - or at least it looked dirty to Tom. Did Joelle not notice it - or did she not care?

Bryan was one of those people Tom heard some of the girls giggling about with high pitched voices whenever he brought one of them into the orphanage despite Mrs. Cole's strict prohibition. He was successful and good looking - but clearly lacked classiness, however, as Joelle herself had to witness during dinner yesterday.

After everyone's plates were stuffed, Tom noticed that Joelle was not there anymore, he glanced around for her and saw her walking back into the dining room, wearing her coat and bag.

"Oh, leaving us already, dear? Why don't you stay for lunch, at least?" Asked Mrs. Cole, frowning gently. The other kids broke out in moans of dislike.

"No! Stay here a little longer, Joelle, please! You can sleep in my room, I'll take the floor!" Squeaked Amy Benson. Joelle chuckled at her, but despite the fact that Amy was dead serious, she simply ignored the offer when Mrs. Cole walked up and hugged her niece.

"Do visit us soon, will you?" She withdrew, rubbing her shoulder gently. Joelle nodded.

"I will. Thanks auntie. And you" she looked at the children. "You better behave, you can freak out again when I get back." She winked and most children snickered at this point - aside from one of them. Tom poked around his food, resting on his elbow as usual, not even looking at Joelle anymore.

"Hey, snowman." She said, bending to his level. She took her black scarf off and wrapped it around Tom's neck again, smiling.

"So you are forearmed to accompany our friend out in the yard," she said, stretching up again. Tom glanced at her, but did not say a word, nor waved back when Joelle vanished at last.

Mrs. Cole would find him out in the yard quite often these days.


	3. Clear Positions

**Chapter 3: Clear Positions**

 _The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves_ \- William Penn

A few days passed, the life at Wool's orphanage did not change, did not bend, did not invite joy. Yes, maybe the incident with Dennis yesterday was doing its justice of taking away the boredom, maybe even the incident with Jake the other day, too. And not to mention Matt, and Matt really deserved what happened. But what did it matter? In the end, they got away again, just like Tom did. Tom stared out of the window, he could see the snowman from this angle.

His eyes widened.

Amy Benson and Billy Stubbs walked over to it, suddenly starting to attack it with snowballs, ripping off its carrot nose and twig arms. Tom felt his heart pondering rapidly against his chest, his mouth grew into a thin line, eyes narrowed. He turned away from the window, the door flung open without being touched and he marched out.

"Stop." He growled dangerously low. Too low. Amy and Billy gasped upon seeing the intimidating figure of Tom standing in the distance - there was this significant air of darkness that he carried with himself like a child clinging to a balloon - only that it seemed to be a part of Tom Riddle's body. He was born with it.

His pale face, his dark hair - the contrast of his calm voice but dreadful actions, it all sent them into a flash of shock.

"Told you he's not visiting the doctors anymore!" Amy yelped at Billy. Tom's eyes narrowed at the mention of that name. _Doctor_. It even caused _him_ shivers. His fists clenched, he inhaled deeply, then stared ahead at Billy to whom he walked closer, ignoring Amy's ridiculous attempts of running in the thick snow where she fell into a couple of times - Tom did not care, he would get her later.

Billy gulped, still moving backwards. He stopped when he felt something solid against his heels, realizing he had been cornered to the small step of the garden shed. Opening his mouth to reason, he found no words, his chest heaved in panic. And then it happened. Tom's narrowed eyes flickered red, a slight grin started to play on his lips, before Billy could even scream, his head shot up to the garden shed's roof - long and dangerously glistening icicles rained down on him.

Tom merely turned around, ignoring the loud cries of pain coming from Billy - or the fact that the latter had been brought to the hospital later - not treated because of his bloody scratches but rather because he has been laying in the painfully cold snow with the icicles dug so deeply into his clothes that he could not get up for an hour after Tom had left the scene quietly.

Dinner was held in silence. Mrs. Cole glanced over to Billy's empty spot, she could not help her gaze that wandered off to Tom after that. There was no proof, as always, nobody saw a thing - nobody said a thing. And Tom's door was locked anyway, he couldn't have simply gotten out of the room as he pleased. Strange. Elizabeth Cole shrugged, sighing softly as she sipped on a bit of water that was exchanged for a sip of whiskey up in her office later that evening. Tom Marvolo Riddle. The boy was not ordinary by any definition of the word - was it right to say he was evil? Evil, such a abnormal term for a child, she couldn't - she didn't want to, another sip of whiskey loosened her senses - she shook her head and leaned back, oblivious to what happened in room 23.

"Say you're sorry." Murmured Tom. His hand clasped around Amy Benson's throat - she tried to pry it off but he was holding her all too easily.

"S-sry" she yelped under tears.

"I did not hear you."

"S-s-So-SoRRY!" She croaked again and Tom watched her sliding down the wall slowly. On almost an instant, her shaky hands went to her neck - she hissed in pain, then gasped: She looked across the room into a mirror, quickly jumped up and ran over to it, observing her skin - bloody and red - as if she had been strangulated with a cord, and that's exactly how she felt. She tried to say something, but not a single tone was audible. Tom watched her smugly as her whole face contorted in silent cries of pain and horror, thick droplets of tears streamed down her round cheeks; she made attempts of getting out of the door but Tom only raised an eyebrow and walked through it, closing it on her very nose. Whatever it was, but Amy Benson was not able to open the door at all, was not able to make the tiniest of yelps, it was as through she had been muted.

The wounds were gone the other day, the memories, however, remained. But nobody ever dared to say a word.

Tom woke up early. He did not, as always, eat anything during breakfast and had not spoken to anyone after school. When he walked back upstairs and glanced out of the window, he had to blink and look closely. The snowman was built up again. Tom frowned, huffing a little. Billy was still in the hospital. Did Amy really think she could make it up to him that way? No. It didn't work like that. If anything, he would make sure to visit her again, for she had dared to touch-

"Oh, what kind of thoughts are so bad that you have to narrow your eyes so much, Marvolo?"

 _Joelle_.

Tom turned around to her, his glare vanished but he picked up his same straight face as usual.

"You're back." He said. "Did you...?"

He pointed out of the window towards the snowman.

"Yes. He looked a little, well, mistreated." Joelle chuckled and Tom pursed his lips, crossing his arms.

"I told them to stop but they didn't listen." He grumbled, then glanced over to her. She seemed different.

"It took you five days to return." Tom then said. Joelle's eyes flashed to him in surprise.

"That's true. Well then, I'll say hi to Elli, I mean, Mrs. Cole." She snickered, starting to turn away.

"You...came here first? To me?" Asked Tom.

Joelle stopped and looked round. "Yes." She smiled, walking off again. Tom sat back down onto his bed, his eyes wandered over to the snowman once more. What a strange girl. And she did not look the same. She seemed tired, worn out somewhat, maybe even thinner since he had last seen her, even though it was highly unlikely that she could have lost so much weight within five days. It was something else. Something was different, Tom did not know what it was.

"Joelle!" Squeaked Amy Benson outside in the corridor. Tom's eyes involuntarily narrowed, he got up from his bed and slowly inched closer to the door, peeping his head out. Amy ran up to Joelle and hugged her tightly, causing Joelle to chuckle.

"Well hello, Amy. How are you feeling today?"

"I'm fine!" Smiled the girl. She wanted to say something, but her eyes caught those of Tom's, and she instantly walked backwards and left Joelle standing alone, much to the latter's surprise. Joelle sighed and lowered down to the ground to bind her shoes when a hand on her shoulder caused her to gasp and whirl around quickly.

"Marvolo! Don't do that." She said sternly and Tom withdrew his hand with a slight frown. Joelle forced a smile the next moment, probably understanding that she sounded a bit too harsh.

"I'm sorry. I was just- you startled me." She said softly and got up from the floor.

"What's going on here-oh, hey!"

"Bryan, hey." Smiled Joelle when she saw him, offering a warm embrace. Tom watched them, his eyes narrowed a slight bit. She hasn't offered a hug to him, then why to Bryan? What made him more special? Tom was about to walk off, but Joelle absentmindedly rested her hand on his shoulder while she talked to Bryan, occasionally tapping up and down when she emphasized something she was speaking of.

"Well, my birthday will be next Friday. Would you like to come to the party then?" Asked Bryan. Tom glanced to Joelle, wondering if she was the kind of person to fall for silly occasions like that. _Birthdays_. 

"Uhh...sure." She said and shrugged with a smile. Tom observed her body language closely, she stepped a little closer to Bryan.

"Cool! We won't be here at the orphanage though, don't want something or someone to ruin the evening..." He grumbled and glanced at Tom, then back at Joelle - who caught this rude indication on an instant. She stepped away from him.

"You know what, Bryan, I recall that I'm already spending some time with somebody else that day. Have fun at your party." She smiled, then turned around and walked off, pulling Tom along - who could not believe it when he glanced back and saw a dumbfounded Bryan standing there with crossed arms. _Oh yes_.

"So mean." Joelle grumbled. "As if you'd ruin anything." She said to Tom.

"Who are you spending your time with on his birthday then?" He asked.

"Oh. There is this boy, his name is Marvolo, he always asks silly questions even though he knows the answer. Do you know him?"

"Never heard of him." Said Tom with a grin while still staring ahead as they walked downstairs, causing Joelle to laugh loudly at Tom's dry comeback.

The day passed too fast for Tom's liking. He knew that Joelle would have to leave soon, surely she wouldn't stay for more than one or two days. And then anger rose in him. What did he care? Sure, she was someone new, maybe even nice to talk to and she did not treat him as though he was to blame for the things he could do. Then again, she never got a taste of what it was. Silly girl. Did she really think that he was the quiet and kind boy she needed to protect? She would be the same, like everyone else, as soon as she found out.

Just the same.

But playing with her was so much fun.

"Joelle?" Asked Mrs. Cole the next day during breakfast.

"When school is over, could you possibly fetch some medicine for Billy in the apothecary shop?"

"Yes, of course. Just give me the prescri- ah. Thanks." She packed it away along with the money that Mrs. Cole handed over.

"For how long do you still have to go to school?" Asked Eric Whalley as he bit into an apple that Joelle cut for him.

"For some time, dear. I do want to go to university, so I need to learn loads." She said.

Amy chimed in at once with a loud "me too!", even though Tom was certain that she did not even know what a university was. He watched Joelle cutting some more apples, putting the morsels into a bowl to which the kids reached. When Tom reached in, too, it was already empty - causing the others to laugh and grin, but they stopped seeing both Joelle's and Tom's unamused expressions. While Tom still looked flustered, Joelle smiled and handed over a bowl filled with cut apple bits just for him. She snickered softly and got up to put away the dirty dishes as Tom nibbled on his apples, rubbing his cheek at the flavor; he hadn't eaten anything so sweet in a while. After a moment, he glanced around, seeing that Joelle came back wearing her school uniform and his head instantly went over to Bryan, who eyed her up and down just as Tom expected him to.

"I'll be going then!" She called out upstairs to Mrs. Cole, then smiled at the children in the kitchen, waving at them - and they waved back, even Tom slightly raised his hand but quickly lowered it again, his eyes, however, followed Joelle as far as they allowed him to see out of the window and darkness.

He frowned at a thought. She would come back to the orphanage, but it would take longer. Why? Because of Billy. Billy and his stupid medicine that Mrs. Cole told Joelle to get. Ridiculous.

Ridiculous! Tom got up from the table, grumbling something under his breath. Their physical education class would take place in the very back of the orphanage, it was a small old hall that was connected to the rest of the tract, however, they could only enter it from outside. Which, thinking of Tom's plan, was a good circumstance. He put on his shoes and jacket quickly, threw on Joelle's scarf, and walked out of the door, seemingly towards the hall, then took a turn and followed the steps in the snow that he was sure belonged to Joelle.

After a moment he was able to spot her ahead. He was maybe ten steps away from her when she stopped, looking to the left and right to make sure there were no cars, then walked across the street towards school. Tom was about to call out to her, but he pressed his back against a wall when he suddenly saw that somebody got out of a parking car, stormed up to Joelle, gripping her shoulder firmly and whirled her around. It was a man, Tom could not tell how old he was, but Joelle pushed him away fiercely, she yelled something inaudibly that seemed to be effective enough - because whoever it was, he retreated and got into the car again and drove off. He must have been waiting for her.

Joelle stood there for a bit longer and Tom used this opportunity to walk up to her. She almost didn't realize he was standing in front of her, but when she did, her eyes widened.

"Marvolo! What are you-"

"Who was that?" Asked Tom instantly. Joelle glanced at him, then away, shaking her head, glancing to the left and right.

"Nobody. Just-"

"Tell the truth!" Insisted Tom. Joelle frowned now, she looked angered.

"Enough, Marvolo." She said sternly. "You better tell me why you are here. School will start in a bit."

"Mrs. Cole sent me after you to let me get the medicine instead...because Billy will possibly be back before you return from school."

Joelle eyed him up and down suspiciously, but really couldn't see why Tom would be lying.

"And she needs the medicine before I'll be there?" She asked. Tom nodded, watching how Joelle shrugged and roamed around in the pocket of her coat, then handed over the prescription of the pharmacy and the money.

"I can trust you with that, right, Marvolo?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course, Joelle." Smiled Tom, which activated Joelle's smile as well. She ruffled through his hair playfully, then turned around to walk off. "See you later then. And be careful! It's still dark!"

"I'm not a baby anymore. See you, Joelle." Said Tom, watching how she vanished into the school, but then glared towards the direction he had seen the car from earlier driving off to. He would find out who it was, sooner or later. Another bitter thought crossed his mind when he looked back at the school, realizing that Bryan and Joelle would see each other a lot more now that she started going to school here, too. At least they wouldn't share the same classes, as proven when he still sat around the table this morning, and of course, he was older than Joelle.

Tom passed by the apothecary. What did he care about Billy, what did he care about his medicine. When he was almost back at the orphanage, another thought crossed his mind. Joelle would probably get in trouble if she returned without the medicine. Rolling his eyes, Tom walked back.

Billy had his medicine later that day.

"Mrs. Cole, where is Joelle?" Asked Amy when it was already 3 p.m. and the kids sat around the table in the dining room.

Mrs. Cole glanced to a clock, then back at Amy.

"She should be here in a bit, dear." Smiled Mrs. Cole, then looked at Tom. "That was very kind of you to do, by the way, Tom. I am sure Billy will find it to be enormously-"

"Don't tell him I got the medicine." Said Tom at once. He did not want Billy to believe he would do him any kind of favor. Then again, the thought of Billy feeling he's special because Joelle brought him the medicine wasn't any the better. Quite in fact, it was almost so insufferable for Tom that he thought of just telling Billy that Mrs. Cole fetched the medicine, should the whining crybaby upstairs ever ask.

The door opened. Joelle walked in and was instantly claimed by Amy and her large arms wrapping around her - they giggled together and moved further ahead. The corner of Tom's mouth twitched when he saw her - but his face darkened upon seeing Bryan. They had probably shared their way back into the orphanage.

Joelle did not even pay much attention to Tom as soon as she was back, her attention went, infuriatingly so, to the oh so poor Billy Stubbs when she heard of what happened.

"Heeeey Billy!" Smiled Joelle. Tom, hiding at the staircase, watched how she entered Billy's open room and sat down on the edge of his bed. She never sat down on his, she preferred his chair. Why did she sit closer to Billy?

"Hey, Joelle!" Squeaked Billy and sat up, a white rabbit in his lap.

"How are you, dear? Are you okay? And ohh, who is that?"

"Yeah I'm fine again." He said softly and patted the rabbit. "Did I introduce you to my friend Pebbles here?"

 _Pebbles_. Tom thought, rubbing his forehead in disbelief. How old was this guy?

"No, you didn't. Oh my god he's so cute. I love his name!" Smiled Joelle, her voice drenched in squeaks.

She loved his name?

"Here, you can hold him if you want." Said Billy, handing over Pebbles into Joelle's lap. She smiled softly and petted the white rabbit, giggling when it nibbled on her finger.

"He's all I've had left when...Mom and Dad..." Started Billy and Joelle turned her face to him, rubbing his shoulder softly.

Tom rolled his eyes. _That little crybaby._

"I'm very sorry to hear that, Billy. Take good care of Pebbles. I'm sure he will have a long and happy life." She smiled and put the rabbit back into Billy's lap, even kissing his cheek. Tom blew up his cheeks, but quickly walked off when Joelle got up from Billy's bed.

"Oh, are you going already?" He asked.

"Just downstairs to do my homework." Joelle smiled and picked up her bag. "I'll check after you later. You should sleep a bit."

"Okay. See you later Joelle." Smiled Billy and waved, watching how she vanished through the door, still having a smile on his face that turned into an ugly grimace when somebody else leaned against the doorframe with crossed arms a minute later.

"What a heartbreaking story." Mocked Tom Riddle.

"Are you spying on us?" Glared Billy. "Leave me alone, Tom. I'm not in the mood for your _stuff_ now." He grumbled. Tom just stared at him unshaken but his eyes narrowed the second he heard his name.

"Stay away from her." He suddenly said. Billy snapped his head at Tom.

"What?!"

"You've heard me, Stubbs. Stay away from her. You've got a friend there, don't you." He pointed to Pebbles.

"Why can't I have more friends than that?" Asked Billy, patting through Pebble's fur.

"Because I say so." Said Tom. Billy frowned.

"Are you aware she came here to check on me because of what _**you**_ did? So actually, you are the reason why she even talks to me. Thanks for that." Billy smirked. Tom just stared at him with a thin mouth and widened eyes, nostrils flaring again. Billy knew what would happen next - but it did not happen. Tom merely turned around and walked off and talked to nobody for the rest of the day.

When the children entered the physical education class the next morning, loud yelps erupted from all around; the children hastily pointed up - and when Mr. Clark, their teacher, had finally made his way through the noises, he saw how Billy Stubbs screamed from the top of his lungs, crashed to his knees upon the view of his dead rabbit bleeding to the ground hung from far up on the rafters.


	4. Let's play a game

**Chapter 4: Let's play a game**

 _Never was anything great achieved without danger_ \- Niccolo Machiavelli

"Of course he says it wasn't him." Frowned Mrs. Cole in the kitchen, running her hands through her hair desperately.

"It's always the same! Always!" She hissed.

"Auntie...not so loud. He may hear you." Said Joelle, still shocked, however. Tom could see it from his perspective, but Mrs. Cole waved her off. "Nah, locked his door."

Joelle frowned. "You locked him in even though you don't know it was him?"

"It was him - I just don't have proof! As always, Joelle. Tom is-"

"Marvolo!"

"Marvolo." Inhaled Mrs. Cole. "Is not what you think he is, dear. You might want to be careful with him. I see that he has, well, finally warmed up a little since you're here and-"

"See? Maybe that's exactly what he needed."

"It's not what he needs. Tom-"

"Marvolo!"

"Riddle!" Grumbled Mrs. Cole again "Doesn't need a friend, Joelle, dear. He never wanted a friend. Do you think the other kids never tried? And he certainly doesn't want **you** to try."

"Is that the truth? Or is it **you** not wanting me to?" Asked Joelle with a frown and looked away bitterly. Tom smirked. Good one, Joelle. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole was right. He did not want Joelle to be his friend.

"Besides." Said Joelle. "I'm really not even trying to be his friend. I just treat him with respect and I think he has some very interesting things to say if only people listen closely enough. That's all I'm doing. But I'm doing the exact same thing with the others, too."

Tom frowned. The others, too? No. He did not like to hear that. He wasn't like everyone else. He was special, so much more than Stubbs, Bishop, Benson or whatever their names were. Joelle Cole will have to realize that very soon. Tom stretched up and walked back into his room, closing the door, locking it again.

A while later, a knock caused him to turn around - the door unlocked and Joelle walked in, putting a key away.

"Hey." She smiled, but he did not return it.

"Leave me alone." Tom said.

"Okay. If you want to be left alone, I'll go." She then said and turned back around but the door closed before she could walk out. Joelle frowned, glancing over to the window to see if it was the air maybe, but that was not the case. She shrugged a little and reached out to the door handle, but Tom then said "it wasn't me. The rabbit. I promise."

Joelle withdrew her hand from the door handle and looked at Tom. He sat on his bed, fiddling around with a stone in his hand.

"I did not come here to ask you that." Said Joelle and sat down on the edge of his bed. Tom looked at her curiously, especially when she decided to sit there and not the chair for once.

"Then why have you come here?" Asked Tom.

"I came here to tell you that I trust you. That's all." She smiled and got up again. "I'll go see Billy now. He's devastated."

She came here to tell him that? Just that?

Tom's eyes widened, his nostrils flared, he glared behind Joelle's back when she reached to the door, but it did not open. She frowned, wondering if she had locked it after walking inside - she couldn't remember but it did not matter, she took the key out of her pocket and unlocked the door, pushing down the handle - nothing.

"Something is wrong with the door..." She mumbled. Tom watched her, still glaring, inhaling deeply while she kept on rustling around. Tom couldn't take it. She would go see Billy now - after all he tried to punish Billy for receiving her attention? Tom's eyes flickered red again, he looked to the stone in his hand, then to the back of Joelle's head - and it all went so fast.

The rustling stopped, Joelle fell back and Tom caught her, pulling her onto his bed. He glanced at the bloody stone. Feeling a little panicky, he simply opened the window and threw it away into the snow where it vanished, then closed the window quickly and checked the back of Joelle's head. The wound wasn't so bad, luckily he hit the right spot and it barely bled, and with all her thick hair - nobody would notice. He exhaled deeply and sat down at his desk, watching the sleeping figure in his bed.

Silly girl.

"Joelle?" Came Mrs. Cole's voice from behind Tom's door an hour later.

"We are playing a game, Mrs. Cole." Said Tom, hearing the footsteps from the matron disappearing then.

"I don't like that game." Said Joelle softly suddenly, her voice sounded croaky. Tom frowned, looking down at her, then away again.

"That's because you haven't been introduced to the rules yet." He said.

"Rules?" Asked Joelle and sat up, flinching, rubbing the back of her head. "You're cheating."

"I'm not cheating, Joelle." Tom said softly. "You think I'm evil, don't you?" He asked. Joelle sighed, shaking her head.

"I know you are not. And even though my head hurts and I want to slap you, I know you are **not** evil." 

"You'd to best to believe I am." He suddenly stated, looking out of the window.

"I'm sorry, I don't wish to waste my time with things that are not true." She smiled and tried to get up, then winced a little and sat back down.

"Why are you doing that!" Tom suddenly yelled. "Why do you think you can come here and tell everyone that they're special when you say you don't want to waste your life with things that are not true!"

"Because everyone in here is special." Said Joelle simply.

"No." Said Tom. "You're wrong."

"Okay." She smiled. Tom frowned. Okay? It was okay to be wrong? He shook his head.

"You really are...strange." He murmured, glancing to his desk. She knew he had attacked her. He yelled at her. And still yet, she sat here, smiling - _believing_.

"Can you leave me out now, Marvolo?" She asked. Tom glanced at her.

"Are you going to see Billy?"

"Yes."

"Then you will stay here." Tom shrugged. Joelle's mouth twitched, Tom could see it from the corner of his eyes but when he looked, it was in a straight line again. Was she amused about this?

"So. What am I going to do here, then?" She asked.

Tom shrugged, resting his head on his elbow again as he stared at her. Joelle sat on the bed with her knees pulled up to her stomach, she seemed comfortable.

"This is boring, Marvolo." Said Joelle with a sigh. Tom huffed. "Not to me." He said.

"Is that one of your rules?" She asked, again he was sure he saw her lips twitching slightly - but when he looked closely, it was gone again.

"One of many." He said.

"Oh." Joelle frowned, her mouth forming an "o" as she stared at him with big eyes. "What are the others? I don't want to do anything wrong again, right?"

"Right." Tom nodded.

Right.

"You...will not go to Billy." Tom said. "And you will...not walk to school with Bryan or...be in any other sort of contact with him. Don't let Amy hug you. And you're kissing nobody's cheek anymore." He played around with the hem of his sleeve.

"Anything else?"

"You'll not cut apples for anyone but me."

At this, Joelle couldn't suppress the laughter, but she waved it off when Tom glared.

"Okay." She then said, clearing her throat.

Okay? She agreed? This was too easy, way too easy.

"And...you will tell me what's on your mind now." He said suspiciously.

"Hmm." Joelle frowned and her bottom lip moved forward as she shook her head innocently.

"Tell me!" Tom insisted.

"I was just wondering why I'd have to do all of that. What happens if I, let's say, cheat a little?"

"Then you better **hope** that I won't catch you cheating." Said Tom grimly, causing Joelle to suck in her lips in amusement, but she nodded. "Okay." She said again. "Can I go now?"

Tom stared at her for a while, then sighed and nodded. Joelle got up, wincing a little again when her head moved too much, she pressed her hand to the wound, but disappeared through the door.

Silly, silly girl.

The next day came. Tom understood why exactly Joelle was so compliant yesterday. She was gone. It was Saturday and that actually meant that she could've stayed here for the weekend, but she did not. Tom heard Amy Benson asking where Joelle was, but Mrs. Cole just said that she had to go home.

Weeks passed. It was a cold December morning when Joelle walked into the orphanage, carrying a bag that was almost twice her size - it looked like she wanted to move in with it. Tom watched her letting it drop to the ground, he narrowed his eyes when he saw her but something in her face caught his attention.

She had a black eye.

"Elli?" Asked Joelle, calling upstairs. Amy and some other kids heard Joelle's voice and instantly wanted to run up, but Tom held them back while Mrs. Cole walked downstairs.

"Oh, hey dear, good to see-" She frowned, seeing Joelle's face, then suddenly pulled her into her arms. Joelle said nothing, she just clung to her aunt and seemed to take in that little bit of silence and warmth.

"What's wrong with Joelle?" Asked Eric then, but Mrs. Cole waved him off and walked upstairs with the girl. The kids all frowned and exchanged looks, just Tom kept staring ahead after the two.

"What do you think happened?" Asked Billy then. Dennis shook his head at him.

"I have no idea." He mumbled.

"She looks so sad! Somebody hurt her!" Squeaked Amy, and instantly, all eyes fell to Tom.

"I was here all the time!" He thundered out at their accusing glances. That argument seemed to be at least enough for them to sigh and look away, however, they sat together and kept on gossiping and speculating. Tom did not want to waste time doing that, he instantly drew the conclusion that it had possibly something to do with that man he had seen in front of Joelle's school.

Carefully, he sneaked out of the dining room and upstairs, but all doors were closed. Tom tried to make out where they were. He first checked Bryan's room - because that's where Joelle stayed in during the nights, but as he leaned his ear against the door, there was not even a whisper. He glanced upstairs, figuring that Joelle and Mrs. Cole were in the office then, and indeed when Tom sneaked up he could hear voices from there but he instantly turned around and darted back down as the door opened and Mrs. Cole walked out. Tom stood in front of his room when she passed by.

"Mrs. Cole, is Joelle okay?" He asked. The matron stopped and looked at him, forcing a small smile.

"Yes, of course." She said and walked off.

Lies. 

Tom glanced up to the direction of the office, then slowly sneaked up again. He peeked his head through the door, seeing Joelle sitting on a dark couch to the left of the wall, her back turned to him and she panted quickly. _No_. She sniffled. She cried.

Tom stepped closer and upon hearing this, Joelle turned around quickly but once she spotted Tom she looked back around again.

"Marvolo." She said softly, dabbing away her tears with a tissue. "I don't have time right now, sweetheart." She said. Tom could clearly hear that she tried to smile.

"I have time for you." He said. Joelle looked over her shoulder slightly, obviously surprised. Tom walked closer but Joelle stretched out her arm.

"Don't." She said. "I don't want you to see me like that." She murmured.

"I've seen you already." Said Tom. Joelle sighed, then rested back on the couch.

Tom could now clearly see the dark and bloody skin under her eye, her lips were swollen - split. But what shocked Tom most was her gaze. It was empty. Usually so full of life and bubbly happiness - they were tired and cloudy now.

"It was that man, right?" Asked Tom and sat down on the chair that he turned towards Joelle. The latter frowned.

"You will not say a thing." She said to him warningly. Tom glanced at her, then away again. Another secret?

"Who is he." He asked.

"Nobody worth speaking of." Said Joelle and that tone of finality was strange to hear from her mouth.

"You like him." Tom then said. "Otherwise you wouldn't protect him." He narrowed his eyes, looking to the ground, then back up to Joelle.

"You think I could like somebody who did this to me?" She asked him softly.

"I hurt you too but you still don't hate me." Said Tom. Joelle chuckled suddenly and Tom couldn't help but feel slightly lighter for giving her a reason to smile.

"I have seen his car in front of school a couple of times." Said Tom unexpectedly. Joelle frowned, sitting upright now.

"You've been there?" She asked. Tom still looked to the floor, back up to her, then to the floor again.

"You haven't come here for 23 days." Tom shrugged. "So I came to school." He looked at her as if that was the only logical conclusion that would work for anybody.

"Marvolo, you can't just leave the orphanage every morning to see if I'm going to school." She frowned.

"Why not?" He asked. "I wasn't late when I returned. I made sure of that. I did not want Martha to escort me to classes every morning like they used to do a while back - because I've been late all the time." He added.

"Listen to me now." Joelle said with a stern tone suddenly.

"I do not want you to do that anymore. It's dark outside. You are still a child! It's dangerous!"

Tom chuckled, he glanced up at her.

"This is not how it works, Joelle." He said softly. Joelle frowned at him, then shook her head.

"This is not a game, Marvolo. This is not about breaking rules or cheating." She sighed softly.

"You can have it the hard or the easy way. You can tell me who this man is - or I'm going to find out myself." Tom shrugged; he almost expected Joelle to suck in her lips again to hold back the amusement - but she was not amused at all.

"I told you he's nobody." Joelle said. "And that's all-"

"Is he your Ex?"

"Quit it!" She suddenly yelled; causing Tom to jump in his seat. He looked at her with widened eyes - Joelle never yelled at somebody, never yelled at him before. Tom glanced down towards the staircase because he saw Mrs. Cole starting to walk back up. He looked at Joelle once more but she did not return it, and so Tom merely got up and walked out of the room wordlessly.

He would find out, sooner or later.

Nobody saw Joelle during the rest of the day, but Tom could hear her voice. She was sleeping in Bryan's room - as always. Tom narrowed his eyes a slight bit. He was not stupid. He saw Bryan around Joelle all the time at school during break, Tom had not told the whole truth. Whenever his classes were over, he quickly hurried over and tried to see what was going on in the schoolyard. He caught Joelle on a swing most of the times and Bryan was next to her, they've been talking about things that Tom could not hear from the distance.

But he could hear them now.

"So, it wasn't that much of a bad party, was it?" Asked Joelle and Bryan shook his head, or so Tom imagined.

"No, but I still would've wanted you to come." He purred, then sighed.

"Ah, come on, Joelle. Don't turn your face away all the time. It's not your fault, you just tried to protect somebody and got punched for it. That's not a shame."

Bryan was so stupid. Did Joelle tell him that she got into a fight, maybe even wanting to protect a made up cousin from evil bullies? Ridiculous.

"You're still beautiful" stated Bryan.

Tom glared.

"Stop it." Said Joelle lowly, sighing. "Bryan, stop it." She demanded again.

"Shhhh." Whispered Bryan. "Just let me make you feel good, Joelle. After all of that, you truly deserve it."

Tom heard some strange sounds, sounds he never heard before - not in reality. He withdrew his head from the door. _Kissing_.

Anger rose in him, his body went rigid, fists clenched. But before he could do anything else, the door shot open and Joelle came stomping out of the room, Bryan stumbling after her while pulling up his pants.

"Joelle!" He called out but Joelle walked downstairs. Bryan sighed, turned around, then backed away when he saw Tom standing close in the dark corridor - he stood there for a couple of seconds, as if warily trying to get around a monster and cautiously moving past it before it could attack - then he slipped into his room and locked the door that Tom glared at, but his attention went elsewhere when he remembered Joelle.

He walked downstairs, finding her in the kitchen with a cup of tea in her hands, yawning exhaustedly, but frowned when she saw Tom.

"Marvolo..." She said, shaking her head. "Why do you always hear what's going on in this orphanage?" She asked.

"Because Mrs. Cole wears ear plugs." Said Tom with a small smile, sitting down.

"You should tell her what he tried. They will finally kick him out." Said Tom, but Joelle shook her head.

"He just tried to cheer me up a little. Sometimes...men don't think further than that."

"So you're saying that this will remain without consequences for him?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not going to let an orphan be thrown out of an orphanage for something like this. He did not want to hurt me." Said Joelle firmly and Tom knew she was done discussing about this matter.

"You could sleep in my room, you've been sleeping in my bed before." He said with a twitch of his mouth and Joelle smiled for the first time again, even chuckling. She reached out and ruffled through Tom's hair.

"You're cute." She said. "But I'll just take the couch up in Elli- Mrs. Cole's office."

"That couch is way too small." Said Tom, shaking his head. "No-"

"Marvolo. Quit it." Said Joelle in her usual stern voice when Tom wanted to continue arguing. He frowned at her, shaking his head again.

"I'm making the rules here." He grumbled.

Joelle couldn't stop giggling for the next few minutes, causing Tom to chime in chuckling at some point, but he quickly caught himself again. It felt good to just sit with somebody he barely knew but still thought he had known for some time. Tom did not care about friendships or anything for that matter, why, he was his own completion. Still yet, he thought it was refreshing to find somebody who did nothing to change his mind on that, and while others would view it as a pity, he knew it could not be.

"It's late." Joelle then said and put the cup away. Tom nodded and got up, rubbing his eyes a little when he walked up with Joelle. He watched how she knocked on Bryan's door, he opened it, trying to explain himself but Joelle merely grabbed her pillow and blanket, then walked out and wished Tom a good night, disappearing upstairs.

When Joelle woke up the next morning, she was not alone in the office. Tom rested in the chair, still asleep.


	5. Inching Closer

**Chapter 5: Inching Closer**

 _The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any -_ Alice Walker

 _"MARVOLO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"_

 _"Be quiet! BE QUIET! YOU! Drive! Take the right turn after a mile, into the forest! Drive I said, drive, or else I'll kill her right here on the spot! Would that be your version of a perfect Christmas present?"_

Joelle smiled softly and bent to Tom's level, gently rubbing his shoulder. She frowned upon the feeling of his cold skin when she brushed it - and instantly draped her blanket around him as he blinked his eyes open.

"Good morning you crazy thing." Smiled

Joelle. Tom looked at her, then to the blanket; she rubbed up and down his shoulders.

"You're all cold, Marvolo. You should've at least brought your blanket when you sneaked in. That's not good for your health." She scolded him softly but Tom knew that she only meant well.

"You talk in your sleep." Said Tom then. Joelle frowned but sat down on the couch, looking at him in concentration.

"I did?"

Tom nodded.

"And...what did I say?" Joelle asked carefully. Tom glanced at her for a few seconds.

"You said 'stop, or else I'll tell them'. That's at least all I could hear." He said. Joelle looked out of the window, sighing a bit, but she smiled and got up, stretching a little.

"Where are you going? It's Sunday" Tom said, sitting upright. "You're not leaving again, are you?"

Joelle shook her head. "No, quite in fact, I'll stay here for a while. So...if you planned on getting rid of me anytime soon, you'll lose." She winked, then chuckled when Tom huffed and turned around, but jumped up as soon as Joelle started walking downstairs. He joined her preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

"Hey, when is your birthday, Marvolo?" She then asked. Tom glanced up to her.

"Soon." He smirked, putting down the plates.

"Ah come on. When?" She asked.

"Tell me yours first." Said Tom.

"First of October." Smiled Joelle. Tom nodded. "Mine is New Year's Eve."

"Now that's a nice day to be born." Smiled Joelle.

"Why?"

"Well, it's like everyone is having a big party just for you." She snickered and started cutting some apples, but Tom wrapped his hand around her wrist.

"Remember the rules." He said with his intensive glance - and Joelle frowned, then blinked to the apple and laughed.

"Ah Marvolo, come on, apples are healthy and-"

"I said no." He murmured grimly, looking up to her with the least bit of amusement he could muster. Joelle chuckled but she shrugged and simply ate the already cut bits of apple herself and Tom let go of her wrist, satisfied.

"Hold on, though." She frowned at him, grinning a little. "That's just a win-win game for you. Where's the advantage of that game for me, hmm?"

Tom looked at her, smirking a slight bit, but he merely walked past her without a comment. Silly girl. The advantage? Nobody gets hurt. He sighed. She still had to learn so much.

"I have a new rule, too." He then said, leaning against the wall, looking to her. Joelle was still so amused about his smug performance that she couldn't listen to him for the first minute because she still laughed, finding everything utterly funny and amusing.

"Listen to me." Tom then said. Joelle glanced at him, chuckling again, then nodded.

"My attention is all yours now." She smiled, flipping the pancakes over.

"You'll sit next to me during mealtimes." Said Tom.

Joelle shrugged. "Didn't I always sit next to you anyway?"

"Hmm." Tom thought. "You're right about that." He mumbled.

"Anything else, boss?" Asked Joelle with an amused expression and a raised eyebrow, her hand to her hip.

"Not yet." Said Tom. "I don't...want to overwhelm you."

"Over-hah." Joelle cackled again, then gasped when she remembered the pancakes and quickly flipped them over. Tom frowned, sniffing the air, but it wasn't anything burnt that caught his attention. He hurried over to the stove quickly, glaring.

"You put apples for them into the pancakes?!" He asked, his eyes even widened. He couldn't believe it. Outrageous!

"You did not mention that it was forbidden." Shrugged Joelle, grinning.

"Oh, are we cheating now, yes?" Asked Tom bitterly, narrowing his eyes. Joelle bent over and laughed again.

"No, I'm not. You didn't mention. Or am I wrong about that?"

"I said don't cut apples for them!" He growled.

"And I didn't. I made pancakes for them with apples inside." Shrugged Joelle.

Tom glared. He was not amused. Did she really think this was funny?

"No wonder that man punched you..." He suddenly spat and Joelle's smile vanished at once, frowning at Tom, looking at him with nothing but naked disenchantment. She turned away from him, stacking the rest of the pancakes on one plate, turned off the stove and walked past him.

"Where are you going!" He barked suddenly, watching her disappearing upstairs. He ran after her, infuriated by now.

"Don't ignore me!" He growled, but she closed the door of Mrs. Cole's office before he could reach it - a clicking sound told him that she locked herself in. Tom panted heavily, his eyes still narrowed, fists clenched, but he swallowed down his anger.

"Marvolo, just leave me alone for a bit. I need some time for myself now." Said Joelle softly. She did not sound angered or all too sad; but still yet, his words left some impact on her, Tom knew it. But she was not the one to decide when he would leave somebody alone - with all her elegance and levelheadedness, it was, by God, not her who decided that.

"Joelle, let me in." Tom then said sweetly, but nothing happened.

"JOELLE!" Tom yelled and knocked against the door with his first. "I'll come in now!" He growled - and the door clicked. Joelle looked completely flabbergasted when he opened the door and walked in as though it had never been locked.

"H-how-"

"You can't run from me, Joelle. It's silly to try." He said softly and sat down on the chair in front of her - her tears seemed to have dried out momentarily upon the disbelief of his behavior. Tom inhaled deeply.

"I did not mean to hurt you." He said. "I shouldn't have said that. I just...felt cheated on."

Joelle looked at him, considering him for a few seconds. Tom has rarely seen this look on her face; she was probably thinking if cute little Tom could ever be so evil as to hurt her intentionally, and indeed, Tom was not disappointed when she smiled again the next moment, even looking ashamed.

"I know you did not mean to hurt me." She sighed, massaging the bridge of her nose. "But still yet, you have to be careful with what you say. Do you remember when I told you that-"

"Words are probably more powerful than anything else. Of course I remember." Said Tom, sitting down on the couch next to her.

"You're not mad at me anymore, right?" He asked. Joelle looked at him, then chuckled gently.

"No, sweetheart. I'm not." she said, pecking his cheek softly and got up. Tom frowned, his eyes twitched and he huffed, turning his head away with crossed arms, causing Joelle to chuckle again.

"Come on, then, Marvolo. I bet the others are already having a pancake feast down there."

They spent a quiet day. Nothing special happened; Joelle and Tom were glued together all of the time which Bryan Lessing noticed later that afternoon - and had no qualms about expressing his discontent regarding that matter.

"How did you get out of the web of your little friend?" Asked Bryan while helping Joelle with the dishes.

"Who? Marvolo? He's taking a bath." Said Joelle gently, putting away a couple of plates.

"He's a very interesting boy. I wish I had a brother like that." She smiled. "I feel like I'm his big sister."

"I don't necessarily believe he thinks of you like that. He's really focused on you." Said Bryan, raising an eyebrow. "If you don't mind me saying it, I think he developed some sort of crush." He chuckled. Joelle chuckled back, but shook her head.

"Please Bryan, he's still a child."

"So? I mean, don't get me wrong, I know you'd never do something like that!" He shuddered. "No, it's just one of those irrational things, l suppose. I had a huge crush on my teacher when I was a kid. These things come and go. Or did you never fancy someone older than you when you were a kid?"

"Oh yes." Joelle snickered. "Now that you mention it. My neighbor in Bristol, I think I was nine or ten at that time. He must've been twenty already, but he looked so good and he always smiled at me. You're right, though... I grew out of it."

"I don't think Tom-"

"Marvolo."

"Marvolo will grow out of it that easily. If anything, he will grow **with** it." Said Bryan, putting some cups away.

"What makes you say that?" Joelle asked.

"Surely by now you have noticed that he's a bit...different. And not always in the positive sense of the word." Bryan said. Joelle narrowed her eyes, wanting to argue against it, but her expression softened and she sighed, scrubbing some more plates. Bryan nodded upon her silence.

"See." He murmured. "I mean, sure, he's a child now. But a child will grow older. He might be attached to you now - but what will happen in a few years? It might be all worse."

Joelle shook her head.

"That's silly, Bryan. It's only natural he's a bit clingy. He's never had anybody-"

"He never wanted anybody. He never speaks to the other children, never plays with them - never cared about any other helpers. I mean. I can see why he'd chose you." Said Bryan, walking behind Joelle then as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You're special." He purred.

"Bryan!" Chuckled Joelle, stretching to the left and right as she dried off another plate, giggling slightly at the feeling of his breath on her neck. She stopped wiggling around when his hand reached to her belly, kind of pressing her against him a bit more while Joelle clung to the counter now, glancing over her shoulder to him while biting her bottom lip. Bryan came closer with his head, their lips almost brushed, but Joelle spotted the figure in the doorframe that she was sure of has not been there a second ago. She cleared her throat and Bryan looked round, seeing Tom standing there. He let go of Joelle and grinned a slight bit, winking at her and Joelle chuckled, lashing out at him with the dishtowel - causing Bryan to laugh and quickly walk out of the kitchen.

"Do you want something, Marvolo?" Asked Joelle when Tom still stared, not budging the least. His eyes narrowed, his lips grew thinner and thinner with each second he stared at Bryan's spot, then looked up to her - and with a flick of his red glowing eyes, the glass in Joelle's hand shattered into pieces, cutting her. Joelle hissed in pain, instantly drawing her bleeding hand to the sink, washing the blood off. When she next glanced to the doorframe, Tom was already gone - and did not speak to Joelle for the next couple of days.

It was the 20th of December morning when Mrs. Cole had to break down the sad news that they could not spend the Christmas holidays out of the orphanage like last year, however, she promised twice a better trip for the kids during summertime. Joelle smiled a little when Amy and Dennis squeaked in joy upon those news, seemingly looking forward to it. She handed them each freshly baked rolls, then checked the time and gasped.

"I should be going. Bryan, where-oh." Joelle smiled when Bryan walked down. Joelle reached out to the bag he brought along for her, but he shook his head and threw it over his shoulder. Apparently he **did** want to try the route of a gentleman.

"We'll be off then Mrs. Cole." He said.

"Yes, dear. See you later, have fun at school." She smiled and turned around. Tom watched them through the window, narrowing his eyes.

"I feel sorry for them. Lucky we don't have school anymore until after Christmas." Said Eric then, snickering.

"Do you think Joelle and Bryan are...dating?" Asked Billy, glancing at Matt O'neil, but the latter just shrugged.

"Dunno, but I've seen them cuddling on Bryan's couch when I passed by his room. He wasn't amused about that, he yelled at me and closed the door loudly." He snickered and Amy gasped dramatically.

"Bryan and Joelle sitting-"

"Stop it, you." Said Mrs. Cole, shaking her head with a slight smile, then she frowned.

"Where did Tom go?" She asked. The other kids merely shrugged. Far away from them seemed to be a good place - where exactly, it did not matter.

Tom walked through the snow, his eyes focused on Joelle and Bryan ahead of them. He was careful enough to go undetected, he found a route to follow and watch them, it wasn't the first time, after all. How exactly they clicked, he could not even understand. Joelle was with him all the time - when exactly did Bryan have the chance to leave that much of a trace on her? Tom growled inwardly. He downright did not want her attention to go anywhere else but him - he thought they were clear on that. Obviously, though, he had to make it clearer.

Bryan and Joelle stopped at the usual road, looking to the left and right. Tom watched how Bryan wrapped his arm around her shoulder securely - he felt his heartbeat increasing drastically, he could almost feel it jumping out of his throat. Tom inhaled deeply as he stood there with his hands in his pocket, watching how they walked across the street - then suddenly backed away. Joelle yelped loudly at the sound of a car starting, lights shining at them, wheels screeching in the snow - Tom was sure it was that man again, and indeed, the same car drove up, he could see an arm reaching out, clasping around Joelle's hand, obviously trying to rip her into the car but Bryan ran up - loud yelling and growling erupted from the scene and stopped when Bryan managed to pull Joelle right away and into his arms, the car drove off furiously.

Tom frowned, he glared after it and knew: this was the right moment to follow. He checked the signs, walked around a house and glanced through the streets of the next passageway - there was the car, stopping in front of a red light. Tom still couldn't see what the man looked like but he saw where he wanted to drive off to; it was into a small town not far away from here. Tom hurried up, running after the car as fast as he could, taking turns, running ahead, taking turns, stopping in a hood that Tom had never walked into. It was one of those fine places that he didn't care about, one of those for rich and wealthy people, one of those that he despised.

The car parked in front of a house - needless to say that it looked so much better than the old shabby orphanage, but for some strange reason, even Tom couldn't help but realize that this house was less inviting. He hid behind a wall, watching how the man now got out of the car - Tom could finally see.

A tall man, pale but healthy looking, with dark blond hair that was treated with enough wax to be as fashionable as all the other male hairstyles these days, carrying a dark coat in his arms as he closed the door of his car. A snarl on his young face let Tom in on the assumption that he was utterly unamused about the fact that he could not pull Joelle into the car. Tom guessed that he was in his early twenties at best, he had to admit that he looked good - and could not understand why somebody like him, living in a place like this, would have to stoop so low as to force a girl to stay with him. Then again, he could slightly understand that he tried to win over Joelle at all costs, she downright wasn't the kind of girl a true man would like to see with another. Tom narrowed his eyes slightly, walking across the street when the man vanished through a door after a older woman let him in.

Tom made sure that he was definitely gone when he looked up. He would find out about his name now, even if it was just the family's name, he didn't care, he could research on it for a while until he knew everything. He carefully sneaked to the door, but what he saw, confused him more than it should have.

"Cole?" He murmured to himself. So was this where Joelle lives? Then why was he here? Did he occasionally visit them? Tom frowned, of course. That wasn't rare for a man to do - it wasn't very unintelligent to cozy up with the parents of the girl of interest. Tom growled lowly, glancing to the left and right, he slowly walked to the car and pulled out something silvery and shiny that he packed from the table earlier this morning. A knife. He stabbed into the car's wheels, watching them sinking to the street with a smirk, then slowly made his way back to the orphanage with a good feeling.

Now Bryan was all he had to take care of.


	6. Unforeseen

**AN: whooo people, I have some interesting things planned for this fanfiction, I'm so excited! Would love to read your thoughts so far, though!**

 **Chapter 6: Unforeseen**

 _In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing_ \- Theodore Roosevelt

Tom sat quietly in the kitchen, sighing, rolling his eyes, not bothering to answer Mrs. Cole's nagging questions on where he was and that he shouldn't be wandering around London all the time without anybody knowing, especially not in the early morning, blah, blah, blah. It wasn't the first time nor will it be the last time that he had left - both of them were sure about it. Why pretending?

Snowflakes fell down the sky like feathers. Tom found himself staring into the endless seeming horizon as it grew lighter and lighter - and soon darker and darker. It was already late in the afternoon when he started to pace up and down, occasionally glancing down the stairs, checking the windows in the kitchen and dining room - but nothing. Where was she? Was she in trouble? Did the man, perhaps, find her again? Maybe used a different car? Just when Tom threw on his jacket, ready to leave the orphanage once more, the door opened and Tom backed away, relieved to see Joelle, then grew infuriated by her company. Bryan.

Bryan.

Tom's fingers twitched towards his pocket, but he inhaled deeply, closing his eyes, calming down. Not yet.

"Hey sweetheart." Smiled Joelle, kissing Tom's forehead out of nowhere. Tom glanced at her in both surprise and annoyance, then sighed. "Hi."

"Would you like to spend some time?" She asked. Bryan looked to Joelle and Tom, back and forth, then cleared his throat.

"I thought we wanted to visit Paul, I told you I wanted to introduce you to him." He smiled as he took off her cloak, hanging it away with his.

"We can do that somewhen." Said Joelle. "Right now, I'd like to spend some time with Marvolo. If he wants to, of course." She added when Tom glared off to the side, then shrugged, though he couldn't help but smirk at Bryan as he walked upstairs with Joelle.

"So..." Tom frowned, his arms crossed while he strolled into the room, closing the door when Joelle was in.

"Where were you anyway?" He then asked, though upon a second thought, he was not so sure if he really wanted to hear it. He surely wanted to know, however.

"In the city. I've brought you something." She smiled, roaming around in her small bag, then pulled out a pack of neatly wrapped up little gummy bears in see-through packaging. Tom raised an eyebrow, but took them nonetheless, nodding at her as a thank you.

"You haven't talked to me in days, Marvolo. I was wondering if there's something I did that upset you. If so, please know that it was not my intention." She said gently when Tom sat down on the bed next to her, putting the pack of gummy bears on his desk, then shrugged again. Joelle sighed, lowering her head a little, but she smiled.

"Good news, though. My grades are really good. My teacher said that if I continue on like that, I'll have no problems at all to be admitted to university in the future."

"Congrats." Said Tom dryly, staring at the wall ahead. Joelle's smile vanished yet again, she glanced to the side, thinking of something, anything to cheer him up, Tom could see it on her face.

"What is it between you and Bryan?" Tom suddenly asked.

Joelle did not say anything for a while - until Tom's head turned towards her. He observed her closely, smirking a little to himself. Did he confuse her enough?

"I suppose I don't know that either." She said, wanting to add something but Tom then interrupted, smelling his advantage.

"You know. If you're not serious about Bryan...I wonder why you let him hope. It's kind of cruel, don't you think? Considering he's an orphan and all..." Said Tom again, turning his head away from her. Joelle stared at him with her lips slightly parted, then looked out of the window, to the door, to Tom, to the door. Tom knew it, he had her, she was confused, he had to go on.

"Don't you think Bryan deserves happiness, too, Joelle?" Tom asked. Joelle still stared at him with a concentrated look on her face, then frowned.

"Enough, Marvolo." She said in her typically stern voice when literally having had enough. Tom sighed dramatically.

"Here she goes again, always forbidding me to speak when the truth is involved..." He murmured and leaned down on the bed.

"It is not the truth!" Joelle barked. Tom sat upright again on an instant upon her voice getting slightly louder.

"You might be able to lie to yourself but not to me!" He spat. "Why did you hesitate when I asked? Why can't you tell me what you feel for him, hmmmm?" He mocked, Joelle looked outraged, not to mention shocked. Tom's eyes seemed to glow red when he glared at her with such hatred that all she could do was to get back up again. But Tom was having none of that. Just when Joelle was about to reach the door, Tom slipped in front of it.

"You'll stay here until I've received my time with you." He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Marvolo, you will step away from that door this instant." Said Joelle; and Tom, between that command, heard something that he deciphered as words pregnant with sheer and raw anger. But again, it was not Joelle who could decide.

"I am making the rules here." He said simply, then smirked. "Does he like you more than you like him, Joelle?" Tom asked. "Do you just enjoy his attention? Enjoy his touch?"

Joelle frowned. "This is nothing we should be talking ab-"

"Did he fuck you already?"

At that, Joelle looked like she had been hit by an iceberg on a hot summer day. Her eyes shot open as wide as their anatomy allowed it - she gasped loudly, her gaze trembling between Tom's, looking to the left and right as if to make herself believe that he did not really say this.

"Marvolo!" She then yelled; but Tom snickered.

"What?" He asked. "Thought I'm too innocent to say something like that? Did he? Did he fuck you? Did you like it? Did he-"

SLAP.

Joelle had reached out, the palm of her hand collided with Tom's cheek. He frowned - and as if some sort of contact broke, the door behind her unlocked and Joelle shoved past him, storming out while Tom held his cheek, completely unbelieving of the realness of the situation. Sure, it did not hurt, Joelle was incapable of truly hurting somebody. But the mere fact that she did. Nobody has ever slapped him before. His eyes burnt with malice.

 _Fine, Joelle Cole._ Tom thought. _If you'd rather have me as your enemy..._

A loud sneeze caused him to stagger back with a frown.

It probably had to wait.

Tom Marvolo Riddle was downright a mess the next days. Pale as a ghost, red nosed, cold fingered, he lay in his bed.

 _Ill_ , he growled. He never grew sick, never caught a cold. He barely remembers the last time he had to stay in bed after the flu occupied his immune system. Of course his body did not work like that of a normal person, how could it? Tom was sure that there had to be something that made him so much more special than anybody else. Right now, though, he was confronted with the harsh reality that he was just as ordinarily ill as somebody strolling around in the cold outside could get. His door opened, Mrs. Cole walked inside, tilting open the window, mechanically fluffing up his pillow.

"Soup will be ready in a moment." She said, then walked out. Tom sighed, staring up the ceiling, slowly drifting to sleep with one last sneering thought. _Sick_.

When the door opened next again, he did not even look up. Mrs. Cole closed the door behind her, carrying a tablet in her arms, or so Tom could see from the corner of his eyes - but when he looked, it was not Mrs. Cole. It was Joelle. She sat down on his chair, resting the tablet on his desk.

"Sit up." She said sternly, her mouth sharp and thin as she waited. Tom's eyes merely narrowed, he turned his face to the opposite direction but a coughing fit made him shoot up his body, which Joelle used as an opportunity to adjust the pillow behind his back so that it would be too uncomfortable to lay down - and before Tom could say or do anything else, the tablet with the soup sat on his lap already.

"Eat. Don't make me feed you - because I will." Joelle grumbled.

Tom rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue when he looked away.

"I don't need you watching me." He then croaked, and Joelle nodded.

"Fine." She murmured and got up, eyeing the door curiously as she pushed down its handle and walked off, however, starting from this moment, she kept on peeping into his room every ten minutes to check if he was okay. Tom glared at her every time she did and she did not exactly respond to it with a smile, but, when he was asleep, she walked in and sighed, sitting down on the chair again, watching him.

"What are you doing?" Asked Bryan softly, glancing at the sleeping boy.

"My poor snowman caught a cold." Sighed Joelle, gently brushing the hair from Tom's forehead away to feel his temperature, then frowned.

"That's not good." She said, getting up. Bryan glanced at Tom when she left the room, deciding to walk off as well - and after he was gone, Tom opened an eye, a slight smirk crept up his lips but he coughed again, looking at Joelle when the latter brought two wet towels.

"What are you doing?" He asked, watching her taking off his blanket; he kept on pulling away his legs from her while she tried to grab them. "Stop it!" He coughed.

"Marvolo, quit moving please. I just want to help you." She sighed. Tom grumbled something under his breath but eventually let her; observing how she rolled up his trouser's legs to reveal his calves; he flinched when Joelle wrapped a wet towel around one of them.

"It's cold!" He yelped, trying to pull away his other leg but Joelle was too fast; she wrapped the second wet towel around his calve quickly, smirking a slight bit. Tom watched her, still glaring, but he sighed and rested back, frustrated over the obvious defeat. He hated being so weak, so vulnerable. Then again, as he stared into Joelle's face, observing her concentrated look while she rubbed some medicine on his chest, he couldn't help but feel good about the fact that she cared - even after being so deeply angered over what he had said. And then this feeling crept into his body, taking over him like the night of the day - he didn't want to feel it, but he did. Regret. He regretted it, regretted to hurt her yet again. Her eyes flickered up to him, Tom glanced to the side, then back at her once more.

"I...I'm..." He started, but Joelle shook her head.

"Don't worry." She smiled, tucking him into the bed. "You need a lot of sleep now, though. You want to be all fresh and healthy again for Christmas Eve tomorrow, don't you? Do you need something?" She looked around to check if he had everything he needed close by, but Tom nodded.

"Yes." He said, his thumbs fiddling around with the blanket. "Can...you stay here?" He asked, then frowned. "Probably not, though, because you might catch a cold too then and-"

"I'll stay here with you as long as you want." Smiled Joelle. "And don't worry. Joelles never catch colds, it's like a natural law." She winked, snickering at Tom's confused look.

"I never liked Christmas much..and it won't be different this time. You won't be here..." He said softly.

"I have to disappoint you." Joelle smiled, rubbing her hand through his hair again. It felt incredibly good.

"What do you mean?" He asked. "Will you stay?" His eyes lit up a little and Joelle smiled.

"Y-es my...parents won't be here over the holidays and...I asked them to let me decide where I'd rather go and...I'm staying here at the orphanage with you all." She smiled. Even though Tom knew exactly that she was lying about the parents part, he still felt good about it.

"Can't you...stay here? In the orphanage? Can't you...move in? I mean you're here almost everyday anyway, and you've got everything that you need, right? " Tom asked quietly and Joelle's eyes appeared wetter than before. He glanced at her, inwardly sighing. It was too easy. Silly Joelle had too much of a big heart. He watched her turning her face away, clearing her throat, then looked back to him with that distressed look of pity, shame and maybe even happiness upon hearing something like that. She brushed his hand softly, nodding.

"I will always be there for you when you need me, Marvolo. I promise."

She promises? Tom looked at her again, his eyes moving between hers to make sure she was telling the truth.

"But...you won't...stay here forev- I mean. You...will eventually go, right?" He asked, biting the inside of his lip for sounding so desperate and insecure. It didn't taste good.

"I do have a home that I need to occasionally show up at, too." Said Joelle, though Tom could not help but notice that both her eyes and voice lowered down, then went up again quickly.

"Do you remember our first conversation?" Asked Tom, adding "when you told me that you're hiding here?"

Joelle looked at him intensively before she nodded. Yes, almost, almost. Tom suppressed a smirk.

"It's obvious that you're hiding here from him." He said. Joelle inhaled deeply, not saying nor doing anything, but that verified Tom's assumption as much as a nod would have.

"Are you hiding here because that man visits your home sometimes?" Tom asked. Joelle frowned, her lips parted.

"How...do you know he visits my home, Marvolo?" She asked him suspiciously. Tom glanced to the side, sighing. Good heart, yes, but her brain wasn't exactly voiceless either. Fine. Maybe being honest could work. Maybe, if Joelle sees that he will go that far as to follow that man, Joelle would finally tell him.

"I saw where you live." Tom suddenly said and Joelle looked up with a frown, her eyebrows constricted firmly. "What?"

"I saw him trying to pull you into the car." Tom said. Joelle gasped. "Marvolo, have I not told you-"

"I followed when he drove off." Tom shrugged. Joelle gasped even louder at that, she was downright shocked.

"And I saw him entering your house, as I take it, because I saw your family's name. Does he visit often?" He asked.

Joelle looked downright outraged, she shook her head, fishing for words while looking through the air, as if expecting them to fly right at her.

"Marvolo, you will listen to me now and you better take this carefully because I'm not going to repeat myself again. **Quit** following me to school - and **stop** trying to find out **who** he is or **what** he's doing. I'm not hiding here because he's a fluffy kitten, I'm hiding because he's dangerous and because he has hurt me in the past. I don't want to give him a reason to hurt you too, do you understand me?"

Tom glanced at her, intensively as he watched her strict face that now resembled that of Mrs. Cole's, but with Joelle it looked so much more caring. _Dangerous_. Tom chuckled. _Hurting him_. He chuckled again.

"Marvolo!" Joelle insisted when Tom still didn't say anything. "It's not a game..." She sighed. "I don't want anything to happen to you. I worry about you."

"Nothing will happen to me." Said Tom, coughing a little. "And nothing will happen to you while you're here..." His nostrils flared. There was a pause for a while and the impatience started to take over Tom. She doesn't let him read her like a book - she would never tell him the whole truth. He tried it the kind way, he tried to find out himself, but Joelle refused to be honest. Anger swelled up in Tom's chest. He glared at her.

"Who is that man?!" Tom suddenly barked. "Why is he after you?! Tell the truth!" He coughed, sitting up again. "I want to know, Joelle! I want to know **now!"**

"You should sleep, Marvolo. I will come back later." Joelle smiled and got up, turning around. She eyed up the door from the distance.

"You and I both know that that door won't open." Said Tom colorlessly.

"How...how do you do that?" Joelle asked.

Tom shrugged. "You're familiar with how secrets work. You won't tell me yours...And I won't tell you mine."

"Deal." Smiled Joelle; much to Tom's surprise. The latter huffed and turned over, causing Joelle to snicker. She walked over to the door and indeed, it did not open. Surely Tom merely fixed it somehow, he was a smart kid. Smart indeed - because she didn't find a way out for the next two minutes.

"I'd save my energy for something else." Said Tom, glancing over his shoulder in boredom. Joelle grumbled something under her breath before she turned to him.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Like...telling me the truth." Said Tom. Joelle sighed and continued trying to get out of the room, suddenly yelling and kicking at it in a moment of losing control. Tom chuckled, but it ended up in a coughing fit again.

"I bet Bryan knows who that man is! I bet you told him!" Tom barked in his raspy voice, but Joelle shook her head.

"No. He did not even see him, Bryan just pulled me away from the car as fast as he could." Said Joelle, glaring at the door.

"Marvolo. I'm getting tired of this. How the hell are you keeping the damn door locked?! I want you to open it!" She frowned.

"Such poise." Sighed Tom, shaking his head.

"I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours." He grinned, but Joelle shook her head and continued trying to get out of the room. Tom glared at her.

"You will stay here until you've learned it." He suddenly said, his voice turned darker. Joelle glanced at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Learned what?" She asked, looking over her shoulder, then suddenly backed against the door in shock when Tom was in front of her out of nowhere.

"Joelle..." Tom sighed. "Don't make it so hard on yourself. It's pointless to try getting out of my room when I don't want you to leave. You will go once I know what I wanted to know."

Joelle shook her head in disbelief. "You fixed the door somehow, I just don't know how..."

She murmured and observed the door handle closely. Tom chuckled.

"And did I fix Mrs. Cole's office door too?" He asked in amusement. Joelle stretched up, glancing at him, then ahead again. She stared down into Tom's eyes and for the briefest of moments, Tom noticed that familiar fear he recognized in the eyes of the others, he saw that disapproving shadow, that tinge of judgement, the judgement that he was different, strange, **mad**. It infuriated him.

"Don't look at me like that!" He suddenly yelled, the light on the ceiling swung to the left and right, Joelle's gaze rushed up to it, her eyes went to Tom, eyebrows twitched as she pressed herself further against the door.

A sudden knock on it caused her to gasp up, backing away from it.

"What's that shouting? Joelle? Are you still in there?" Asked Bryan. Tom growled even more upon hearing his voice.

"I'm fine, Bryan, don't worry!" She said, not taking her gaze off of Tom who slowly walked closer, seeing how Joelle observed him warily. She held her breath when he reached out his hand, almost mechanically unlocking the door all the while staring at her. Joelle gulped but simply turned around and vanished out of the room once Tom pushed down the door handle - but kept staring at the exact same spot, eyes narrowing steadily.

 _Joelle Cole_ , he thought. _You can't run forever._

The evening beheld a spine shaking surprise. It was the day before Christmas Eve, the kids sat in the dining room, crafting together. Amy Benson was currently busy making a card for Joelle, of course the latter was not allowed to take a glimpse to her direction without getting squeaked at. Dennis Bishop sat next to Amy, whispering things into her ear that she could write down upon which Joelle snickered, sewing back together a pair of Billy's pants; the poor boy fell on his knees yesterday. It was a warm, cozy evening. Christmas music played in the back of the room somewhere, the scent of walnuts, burnt fire and oranges caressed everybody's noses - and Mrs. Cole caused the highlight of joy when she put down freshly baked chocolate cookies for everyone. Bryan took one of them and held it to Joelle's mouth, much to Tom Riddle's annoyance, who sat at the very back of the table and just shoved a chestnut from the left to the right in boredom. At least he felt a little better.

Knock. Knock.

Mrs. Cole's smiling face turned over to the door while Joelle chuckled and munched on the cookie, handing Billy back his almost new pants; he took them with a bright smile on his face that Tom would've loved to burn off. _Don't you feel special_ , he thought. And then something strange happened.

Joelle's face turned colorless suddenly. The joy vanished; she stared ahead with slightly widened eyes.

"Oh heeey John, good to see you, how are you?" Smiled Mrs. Cole. "Yes she's here." She said joyously. Heavy footsteps marched towards the dining room; Joelle had her back turned to the entrance, but the other kids soon saw who was standing there.

A tall man with slicked back blond hair, pale skin and light eyes, showing his brilliant white teeth with a smile.

"Hello children." He said. Tom raised his head, even his eyes were slightly widened. It was **him**. 

"Hello!" The kids cheered.

"Joelle, honey." Smiled John a tad too happily. "So this is where you're going after school." He smiled and rested his hands on her stiff shoulders; she did not look back to him, but forced a smile when Billy glanced at her.

"Who are you, Sir?" Asked Bryan then, taking a glimpse out of the window suspiciously, glancing out of the window to the parking car - but he, just like Tom, realized it was not the same he had seen in front of school.

"Oh, my manners, I'm John, Joelle's stepbrother. Stepbrother since our parents married, of course, we aren't exactly related, not by blood." He smiled and rubbed Joelle's shoulders up and down. Mrs. Cole grinned brightly.

"You've grown so much, John. The last time I've seen you...ahh, must be almost fifteen years ago. How's your mother? Feeling good?" She asked. John nodded.

"Yes, she's fine. She would be happier if she knew where dear Joelle has gone over the past couple of weeks, however. We were most worried." He sighed, kissing the crown of Joelle's head. Tom watched him with his lips slightly parted, he couldn't believe it.

"Joelle, dear, did you never tell them where you were?" Asked Mrs. Cole with a frown and Joelle glanced to the side.

"I left a note. Must've gotten lost, I suppose." She glanced up and John looked at her before he smiled and rubbed the back of her cheek softly. The both of them shared an intense eye contact before Bryan interrupted.

"I didn't even know you had a step brother, Joelle! Why, you never told me. You need to take care of your little sister here. Somebody tried to pull her into a car a couple of days ago."

"What, really?" John frowned and Mrs. Cole nodded. "Indeed, poor Joelle was a complete mess after that incident." She sighed. "Of course I wanted for report it to the police but she did not want to. Maybe you can convince her." She patted John's back.

"Nobody is allowed to hurt my Joelle!" Squeaked Amy, resting her head on Joelle's forearm.

"Don't worry, my child. I'll take good care of Joelle. We don't want her to almost get hurt again, do we?" He asked and the children all shook their heads.

"Well then. Let's go. Where's your jacket?" John asked Joelle, but walked over to the wardrobe already, grabbing her coat once he spotted it.

"Such a pity you won't stay here throughout Christmas, I thought your parents were on a trip, Joelle?"

John chuckled loudly before Joelle's words could reach Mrs. Cole's ears, but Tom saw Joelle's lips movement, he was sure she murmured "they are".

"They decided to stay at home for Christmas and get Joelle. It was...spontaneous, that they cancelled their trip to France." He wrapped his arms around Joelle's shoulders, squeezing her a bit to symbolize her to get up, and she did, slowly and stiffly, her body grew more rigid when John helped her into her coat. She looked over to Mrs. Cole, her lips twitched, wanting to say something, but the latter just smiled brightly, her eyes on John all the while.

"It's such a beautiful thing, having a big brother. Your father always took good care of me, Joelle." She sighed and rubbed her shoulder. "Do come back after Christmas, we're all waiting for you." She said and kissed her forehead. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Elizabeth." Said John, then tossed his hand up to the children, pulling Joelle away before Bryan could give her one last hug. They left the orphanage.

"Get in." Said John, the kindness in his voice vanished. Joelle sat down on the backseat, not saying a word.

"Not so bad." Said John, not yet starting the car, he chuckled as he shook his head, holding onto the steering wheel.

"So you've been here in London with your aunt all the time." He murmured. There was a short pause. "You need to be disciplined, sweet Joelle. I'm not going to allow you to treat me like a fool. You're a woman. Remember that your place will always be below a man." He looked into the mirror to catch her eyes, but Joelle did not say a thing and did not look back.

"I take it you do not want to answer me?" He asked. No word. John gritted his teeth, his pale face started to redden. "We will talk. At home. My mother and your father are gone - it'll be just **us**." He smirked. "I missed your body." He sighed, resting back as if to take in a sweet memory, then frowned into the mirror again.

"And that boy." He chuckled more. "Trying to pull you away from me, I held my breath when I saw him, thought he was just a comrade from school; didn't expect him to be here. But he did not recognize me, did he? Didn't you find someone less stupid, Joelle?" He then laughed, but, as glanced into the mirror again, his laughter died out. A knife was held to Joelle's throat by a boy he was sure he had seen at the back of the table earlier. Joelle shrieked, her eyes widened.

"MARVOLO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Be quiet! BE QUIET! YOU! Drive! Take the right turn after a mile, into the forest! Drive I said, drive, or else I'll kill her right here on the spot! Would that be your version of a perfect Christmas present?"


	7. Merciless

**AN: A quick explanation as to why this chapter is longer than usual: I wanted to finish most of the informative elements that were necessary to be dealt with before I'd continue on, you will find that there were some side-plots included that help building the story, leading it to where I want it to go. I think this chapter is pretty important, however, as I give another insight on Tom's calculating and manipulative qualities even as a child. You will see what I mean.**

 **Chapter 7: Merciless**

 _For me, insanity is super sanity. The normal is psychotic. Normal means lack of imagination, lack of creativity._ \- Jean Dubuffet

There was a moment of silence, John cautiously held up his hand, indicating that he was to do no harm as he stared into the mirror.

"Put down the knife, boy-"

"Drive!" Tom yelled, holding Joelle closer upon which John scowled, but quickly started the car.

"I can see it on your face, John. Drive off to the police and I will kill her right away." Murmured Tom and John gulped, glancing to the left and right, he couldn't believe he was being blackmailed by a child. Child. That wasn't an ordinary child. That intensive yet calculated glance, he was so calm as he held that knife to Joelle's throat - as if he had done it years ago already.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing there, huh?" Asked John, glancing into the mirror as he continued driving ahead out of London.

"Of course I have." Said Tom collectedly, the cold metal brushed against Joelle's skin. She held completely still, but he felt her trembling body against himself, watching her squinting shut her eyes.

"Marvolo, please, you-"

"Quiet." Murmured Tom dangerously, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What do you even want to do in the forest, kid?!" Growled John when he took a turn after said mile, driving ahead. They've been far out of town by now and drove off into a lonely field that led ahead into the forest. Tom used to come here with the rest of the orphanage a couple of times in his past.

"Stop here." Said Tom. John stopped the car, standing in the middle of the snow covered darkness surrounded by trees.

"Get out of the car now." Said Tom, narrowing his eyes.

"Marvolo, please-"

"Quiet!" He hissed at Joelle, glaring ahead at John, who frowned, not yet moving an inch.

"Get out of the car now, I said." Growled Tom furiously, starting to cut into Joelle's skin a slight bit; Joelle screeched up at the feeling, and her gasps were what caused John to finally get up and step out of the car.

"Close the door." Said Tom. John scoffed but followed his orders - and just when the door closed, Tom let go of Joelle.

"Crawl to the front!" He commanded, pushing her ahead while he moved to the passenger seat. Joelle looked to the left and right as she sat in front of the steering wheel, eyes widened.

"What are you waiting for! Drive back." Tom then said.

"Dr-drive?! I can't, I don't know how!" Squeaked Joelle.

"Do it!" Groaned Tom in frustration, smirking when John tried to open the door but of course, he could not get in for the same reason why Joelle could never get out of his room. Joelle still sat in front of the steering wheel stiffly, looking round nervously, shaking completely when she tried to check how everything worked.

BANG.

John threw punches against the window, Tom scowled, glaring at him, yelling at Joelle to hurry up - the girl, throughout the whole struggle of emotions of anxiety, could not concentrate at all, had no clue - but then the car started. John stood in front of it, desperately trying to push it back, then walked around it, furiously attempting to rip the doors open.

"STOP RIGHT NOW, JO!" He yelled but Tom smirked when above John's head, twigs started to rain down on him along with large heaps of snow, causing him to back away from the front. Joelle pressed and pushed and stomped down on everything she could, trying to find out how to work it - and before John could start smacking a large branch against the window, Joelle managed to drive off and away, not seeing anything throughout the thick trees.

"Oh my god!"

"Take the left!" Instructed Tom and Joelle did without hesitation - bumpily driving further ahead. It took some time until she saw where she had to go next; the road was barely visible.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" She yelped. "What are we doing! Ah! The snow, oh my god, oh my god!"

"Try not to lose control over the-"

"MARVOLO! I am driving in the middle of a snowy foggy night on a glazed street without a damn driving license!" She shrieked. "Oh my god!"

Tom just kept quiet, the corner of his lips, however, twitched up and he put on the seatbelt just for good measure.

"Hah, that won't help you either" Joelle whined helplessly, then frowned. "He...he will go to the police and report that I stole the car and wanted him to die out there or something!" She cried out but Tom smirked, shaking his head.

"Not if we go to the police first. Besides, he would be a complete idiot if he went to the police now. I've heard everything he said, Mrs. Cole saw your black eye and I've seen what he tried in front of school - even Bryan was there. That's enough to make sure he will keep his mouth shut."

"But what if he dies out there?!" Yelped Joelle. Tom shrugged. "I don't see where that'd be a loss. It's not so far away, if he starts walking now he will be back home by tomorrow. If he's lucky." He smirked.

Joelle glanced at him, then ahead again, shaking her head in disbelief - and suddenly, she became the most beautiful person; she laughed out loud; a sincere and cheerful laughter, louder than any she had before.

"You're absolutely crazy Marvolo, pfhah, I've never met a child like you!"

"You never will again." Grinned Tom and Joelle laughed once more, shaking her head. She was not so bad at driving either, even though it was a tad bumpy.

"Where am I supposed to park the car?" She then asked once they were back on a regular road, then frowned upon seeing more traffic. "Oh my god" she squeaked again, driving so slow that cars behind her honked furiously.

"Shut up!" She yelled at them, causing Tom to turn his face away with a wide grin.

"For somebody who shouldn't drive, you do have a big mouth." He smirked.

"You shut up too." Murmured Joelle, Tom chuckled.

"I'll just park that damn thing here." She groaned, sharply ripping the steering wheel around to the left and drove up into a lonely alley where some more cars were covered in snow. The engine died. Silence. The both of them stared ahead, panting a little, then looked at each other at the same time, breaking out in cheerful grinning. Joelle threw her arms around Tom and he let it happen, cooly rubbing her back.

"We made it!" She squeaked. Tom nodded, observing her happy face once she let go of him. She was shaken with emotions, trying to suppress the tears.

"You're more courageous than I could ever be, Marvolo. Promise me one thing."

Tom looked up.

"Never ever give up. No matter what you're doing. Always fight for the right thing. Promise me." She said with a hint of a stern tone and Tom considered her before he nodded; it seemed so important to her.

"I promise." He said, then leaned back and sighed, his eyes wandered off to the side, watching Joelle staring down to her thighs with a concentrated and troubled look.

"You won't go back home." Said Tom. "Now that this happened...you can't anyway, can you? If he's your father's wife's son, then he probably lives there with you. You can't go back home, Joelle." Tom said, suppressing a slight grin.

Just as planned.

But his grin vanished upon Joelle's next words.

"I'm scared..." She whispered. "My father is so in love with John's mother. And Marianne would never believe her oh so perfect son would...would..." She gulped, not finishing the sentence. "My father would think it's just a story I made up so he leaves her. Well...he knows that I wasn't fond of her, he knows that I never wanted to move away from Bristol. None of them would ever believe me...John was right when he said that..."

Tom narrowed his eyes, his nostrils flared. That man obviously knew how to pressure and manipulate Joelle.

"Forget about them. You don't need a family like that! You need to tell your aunt everything, she will take you in."

"I can't..." She sighed.

"You will. It's either you...or I will." Tom frowned. No! This couldn't be, everything would have been so pointless if Joelle decided to keep quiet. Tom couldn't let it happen; he almost glared at her when she shot her head towards him.

"Marvolo...it's not that easy. I'm underage. I can't just move into an orphanage without my father's consent."

Tom's eyebrows twitched together, he thought about disposing of her father for the briefest of moments, then scratched that idea as soon as he saw the glistening tears in Joelle's eyes, but she did not allow them to break free.

"John is far away now, Joelle. He can't hurt you! We will go and tell Mrs. Cole now, we will tell the police what he did - he has to be punished! And then you can- will move into the orphanage! Come on now!" Tom growled, getting out of the car, but Joelle shook her head, squeaking when Tom stabbed the knife into the seat, walked around the car and ripped the door open angrily, starting to pull her out. He was quite strong, too.

"Marvolo!"

"You will move into the orphanage!" Tom repeated, wrapping his hand around her wrist to pull her out, she stumbled after him in both shock and surprise.

"Marvolo, let go, what-"

"I promised you. I won't give up." He grumbled, marching through the snow with her. Joelle wanted to say something, but instead a smile embellished her face and she stopped trying to pull away from him - and together they made their way into the orphanage, stopping with a frown as soon as they entered.

"Tom! Joelle!" Sighed Mrs. Cole in relief, throwing her arms up. She was surrounded by two men in dark uniforms - Joelle glanced at Tom and he looked back. _Policemen_. **Perfect**.

"Evening." One of the officers said, his voice dark and firm. "Where exactly have you been?" He asked, frowning at Tom. "You have been reported as missing, boy."

"And Joelle, shouldn't you be at home?" Asked Mrs. Cole. Neither Tom nor Joelle said anything for a while, until Tom broke the silence.

"Tell them now, Joelle. Tell them. Or I will." He scowled and Mrs. Cole frowned.

"Tell us what?!" She shrieked. The policemen stood next to her, one of them put his hand on Joelle's shoulder. "What is it, girl?"

Joelle shook her head.

"Joelle's stepbrother blackmailed and abused her." Said Tom simply, causing Mrs. Cole to gasp. "John?! Joelle, dear, is this true?!" She rushed up to the girl but Joelle had her head lowered in shame, hands clasped around her coat firmly. Tom watched how she was hugged tightly - he searched her eyes and she sighed, giving him a defeated nod, and together they told them what happened; even though Tom left out a single information that he would tell during the trial. He smirked thinking about it.

"That was very brave of you to do, young man." Smiled Officer Garrant, patting Tom on the back.

"You ought to be a man of law someday. Maybe with less drastic methods." He added, chuckling. Tom did not respond. His eyes wandered over to Joelle, who cried against her aunt's chest, repeating words of 'ashamed' and 'don't know what to do'. It took her a while to soothe Joelle enough to listen to what he police had to say.

"We do need you to repeat this at the department, Miss Cole and young Mister Riddle, you will also be asked to repeat it in front of court as you will be filing a charge. We do then need the other witnesses, namely Bryan Lessing and you, Mrs. Elizabeth Cole." Added Officer Foster. Tom nodded before Joelle did, her aunt still rubbed up and down her shoulder, asking "does it have to be now, Officer?"

"Well, yes. My colleague will try finding Mr. err, John Lawrence, he surely must be on his way back." He spoke, nodding assuringly at Joelle. "We shall also contact your father now. It will be a long night."

It almost seemed surreal when they all sat together in the dining room during Christmas Eve the next day. Tom watched how Joelle smiled brightly upon everything and everyone, especially after the fact that she knew John would never be able to hurt her again as he now remanded in custody awaiting trial; the policemen found him somewhere close to London during the night and took him in to hear his version of the story. Joelle was not forced to see him once more, the officers, however, called Mrs. Cole earlier this day, telling her that John Lawrence admitted to everything upon the pressuring evidence laid out against him, giving everyone a reason to cheer up.

The only time Tom caught Joelle in a momentum of turmoil was when she had another conversation on the telephone with her father who, as far as Tom could hear, seemed to be wanting to come home as fast as possible. _What a hypocrite_ , Tom thought. He did not fulfill his duty of supervision, instead had some fine time in France while his underage daughter was stuck with his wife's bastard of a son, surely this would have to be enough to allow Joelle to decide where she wanted to stay until she was old enough, and surely it somehow made a difference that the matron of this orphanage was Joelle's aunt, surely, surely law would be on Tom's side; he wanted Joelle here. But he had to await the trial in two weeks and be patient.

"Marvolo? Did you hear?" Joelle asked. Tom shook his head, looking at her. "Hm? No, what?" He rubbed his head.

"Would you like to help me preparing the dessert?" She asked. Tom shrugged, nodding.

"You seem to be really happy." He then said and Joelle smiled. "It's...probably the happiest Christmas I've spent after my Mom passed away." She sighed and looked down to him, kissing his forehead. "And it's all thanks to you. I'd want you to be my brother any day." She snickered.

Tom snorted a chuckle, turning his face away with a grin.

"So smooth." Joelle grinned back, starting to mix some eggs into a bowl. Tom watched her curiously, but leaning against the doorframe was his version of helping. He wasn't good at any kind of kitchen business.

"I'm happy too." He then said. Joelle glanced at him. "Really?"

"You want to move in here. That makes me happy." Said Tom suggestively; he did not really know if Joelle truly wanted to.

"You're right. I really don't want to go back home. And besides, even when they say I'm not allowed to move in...they can't force me to stay there. I'll just come here anyway." She sighed, adding some flour into the bowl.

Tom nodded with a faint grin. It was downright too perfect to be true; incredible.

But did Joelle really think he rescued her just to play the hero of the day? Silly girl. No. This was winning on so many levels. It wasn't just gaining her complete and unconditional trust. Joelle will stay here, he knew it. Everything was prepared already, Mrs.

Cole asked Billy and Eric to share a room which, as they were best friends, was like an early Christmas present for them - so Joelle even had a real place to sleep. John was out of his way - no more making a fool out of him and his intelligence, no more wondering where Joelle had gone; she would come right **here** after school, Tom would know where she is, any time, any second of the day he would know. This was full control. _This was fun._

"Joelle, darling." Smiled Bryan, walking into the kitchen. He kissed her cheek softly, glancing into the bowl of ingredients while Tom's eyes narrowed, he gritted his teeth.

 _Bryan_. How could he forget.

"Hey." Joelle smiled faintly and turned her face away when he tried to kiss her on the lips, making it seem as though it was just bad timing for him when she walked off to get more ingredients. Bryan shrugged, but Tom could not be fooled. Maybe the Bryan issue would soon be dealt with by Joelle herself.

If not, he had enough ideas.

The rest of the evening was spent with warm stories around the chocolate cake that Joelle baked for everyone - a first class ticket to every child's heart. It was downright beautiful and peaceful, almost unbearable for Tom. He was happy when he blinked his eyes open the next morning; it was over. Finally.

Not yet.

He glanced over to his desk, seeing something wrapped up on top of it. A present? Children at the orphanage never got a Christmas present, however, they received something for their birthdays - but it wasn't Tom's birthday yet. Surely it was from her. Tom rubbed his eyes, not entirely awake yet when he reached out his hand and grabbed the rectangular shape. Felt like a book. Joelle saw Tom reading sometimes, it was a nice thought to think that she wanted to surprise him with a new story. Too curious, he started to unwrap it, and indeed, what he held in his hands was a heavy covered book in black leather; his initials printed on it. T. M. Riddle. Tom observed it closely; opening it - a note flew his way. He grabbed it, reading.

 _Marvolo,_

 _I think you should capture one or the other memory that enriches your life. Memories, in the end, will last even when we believe ourselves too busy to remember._

 _\- Joelle_

A diary. Tom glanced at the back of the binding, seeing that Joelle purchased it at Winstanley's Bookstore & Stationers, not far away from here. His eyes swiveled over to the door.

"Good morning." Smiled Joelle, walking in.

"Good morning." Said Tom, holding up the diary. "And thank you." He said, a content look on his face when she sat down next to him.

"You're welcome." She smiled gently, but Tom frowned then.

"I don't have anything for you." He murmured but Joelle shook her head. "Please, you have done enough for me, snowman." She snickered when Tom huffed, but he grinned nonetheless.

"There's something you can give me, though." Joelle said. Tom glanced at her when she opened her arms for him. He hesitated at first, then sighed and hugged her tightly while she giggled, letting go of him the next moment; Tom almost pitied that she did.

"Do you want to come downstairs? Breakfast is ready." She asked; Tom nodded, and together they walked down.

"Look! Joelle brought me a Yo-Yo!" Squeaked Amy at Dennis, who smirked widely and showed her the harmonica he got. Tom glanced at the objects as he shoved some scrambled eggs into his mouth, his mood slightly stricken, but lightened up as soon as Joelle sat next to him and handed him some cut apple bits with a playful wink. Tom suppressed a slight grin, but his eyes fell on the harmonica and Yo-Yo again while nibbling on his food.

 _They don't deserve anything from Joelle._

Days passed. The life at Wool's orphanage was pretty convenient - school has not yet started for anyone, and Tom and Joelle spent most of their time together. Aside from the occasional visits from Amy or Bryan, Tom was quite pleased that he had Joelle's attention for himself. They played chess together or simply talked about some books and even strolled around London.

One day, they've been in a really fancy store that both Joelle and Tom knew they could only visit just for fun. Joelle introduced herself as the bigger sister, saying she wanted a really high quality suit for her little brother - because he had to be dressed up well for his big sister's engagement party. It was hilarious to watch how the saleswomen put Tom into the most expensive of fabrics; but whenever he was wearing one or the other suit, he wrinkled up his nose, saying he had seen better. Joelle laughed out loud when the women disappeared, quickly taking a picture of Tom while standing next to him with her tongue stuck out, then put away her camera before saying that they'd rather go to a different store.

It was the day before New Year's Eve, and as much as Joelle tried to hide it, Tom knew she planned something for him. It was one of the rare hours where she was not around him, and beginning to wonder where exactly she had gone, Tom got up and tried to find out. He peeped his head into the kitchen, hearing her speaking to somebody.

"But why not?" The male voice asked. "I think you did not give us enough of a chance."

 _Bryan_.

"It's not you, really, it's all me. You're a wonderful person, I'm just not ready to appreciate it yet. After all the mess with John, I realized that I need a friend, not a partner." She said softly, looking up to him. "I understand if you don't want to be friends, I know it's a lame phrase and-"

"I am your friend, Joelle." He rubbed her shoulder. "And only immature jerks would leave you hanging. Take your time...I won't lie, I will continue to hope that maybe someday we can try again. But right now, I want to be the last person to pressure you." He kissed her forehead. Tom's eyes narrowed. _So noble_. He couldn't stand it.

"Thanks, Bryan." Smiled Joelle, hugging him softly. It wasn't a normal hug, Tom thought. It was something else, something he could not define, but he watched how Joelle and Bryan remained in this position for a little longer.

"Joelle?" Asked Tom then, acting as though he had just walked down. Joelle let go of Bryan, smiling at Tom even though he couldn't ignore the sigh of annoyance coming from Bryan.

"What is it, sweetheart?" She asked, walking closer.

"Come with me please." Said Tom. "I want to show you something." He said and turned around; Joelle followed him upstairs and into his room where Tom locked the door as always.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Nothing, actually." Shrugged Tom, sitting down. Joelle blinked at him, scratching her head.

"Huh? You said you wanted to show me something." She frowned.

"That's what I said, but not what I meant." He mumbled.

"Then what did you mean?" Asked Joelle, sitting down on his chair, causing Tom to frown.

"Why don't you sit next to me as always?" He asked with a faint shade of anger in his voice. "You're avoiding me." He added.

"But Marvolo, what makes you say that?" Asked Joelle, sitting next to him. He glanced at her, then away again, shrugging.

"You haven't talked to me in hours." He mumbled. Joelle chuckled, rubbing his shoulder a little.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel neglected-"

"I don't feel neglected!" He hissed at her; causing Joelle to frown a little before she pulled her hand away.

"Okay. Tell me how you want to improve the situation then." She said.

"Improve the, pft." Scoffed Tom before he glanced at her, seeing she was serious. _Fine_.

"Well for one, I want the rules to be picked up again, because if you neglected something, then it's **that**." He said sharply, causing Joelle to suck in her lips in amusement.

"Can you sum up the rules for me again, Marvolo?" She asked sweetly. Tom glared a little, inhaling deeply, crossing his arms. Did she really forget or was this just too funny for her?

"Nobody is allowed to hug and cuddle with you. Remember that when you see Amy! You will listen to my commands. And no hanging out with Bryan, not at all. Yes, quite literally no hanging out, not even at at schoolyard swings, are we clear on that?"

Joelle frowned in amusement. "What about the apple part?" She chuckled, earning herself a death glare from Tom. "If you remember the rules so well, why are you asking me!" He barked.

"Oh Marvolo, relax, will you?" She chuckled again. Tom grumbled something under his breath, shaking his head.

"I shall introduce punishment this time. I have been quite charitable the last time you broke the rules, which, if you remember, you broke **all** of them." He huffed; Joelle laughed out loud when she heard that, but Tom looked most unamused.

"And what do these punishments look like?" Asked Joelle. Tom could hear that she did not take it seriously.

"We will get there. All I can do is suggest that we should not get there at all." He patted her head. Joelle chuckled again when he continued. "Please know that I don't wish to hurt you, Joelle. But you might leave me no other choice." He sighed.

"You would never hurt me. I trust you." She smiled and leaned back against the wall, staring ahead with a smile on her lips. Tom inhaled deeply, shaking his head at her.

"I sometimes wonder if it's not you who's almost eleven, and me who's actually sixteen." He mumbled. Joelle nodded, her amused expression was gone.

"Tell me what's on your mind." Said Tom, constricting his eyebrows, wanting to see if Joelle understood this as a command.

"Nothing I wish to trouble you with, Marvolo." She forced a smile, sitting upright again.

"Is it the trial?" Tom asked. Joelle sighed.

"You don't have to look at him when he's there." He said. There was a moment of silence before Joelle interrupted it.

"I really wish I could've spared you from all of that, Marvolo. My problems shouldn't be yours, you're still-"

"Quit treating me like a baby! I'm not like one of those...Amies, Erics, Billies..." He growled. "I understand as much as you do, if not even more. How many times do I need to prove it?"

Joelle lowered her head, glancing aside.

"It's best if you stayed here. You can't be left alone with your thoughts, obviously." Murmured Tom.

At that, Joelle had to chuckle. "Quit treating me like a baby!" She repeated and Tom grinned, looking away, then frowned when she got up.

"Did you not hear me?" Tom frowned. "I said its best if you stayed here." He got up from the bed as well.

"I say it's not best. Look at that bed, you barely fit in. I'll tell Ellie that you definitely need a bigger one anyway. You're almost taller than me I think." She stood next to him to see the difference; quite in fact, Tom was just slightly shorter, but only by inches.

"While that's a good idea, it was a command, Joelle. You don't want to receive your first punishment, do you?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, not so keen on that." Joelle shook her head with a chuckle, then turned around to walk towards door, but she didn't even try reaching to the door handle. Tom smirked when she glanced back.

"It won't open, will it?" She asked.

"Try it." Said Tom smoothly, leaning against the wall next to it with crossed arms, watching how Joelle tried to push down the door handle - but, unexplainably out of nowhere, it opened. Tom blinked, his eyes widened and he watched Joelle walking out with a victorious smile on her face.

"Good night, Marvolo." She whispered, and off she went. Tom was so shocked and surprised that he did not even think of any sort of punishment anymore, his eyes glued to the door.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" It squeaked the next morning; Tom shot his eyes open, seeing Joelle right next to him on the bed with a bright smile, she bent down to him and kissed all over his face.

"Joelle..." Tom groaned, sitting up with a scowl, rubbing his cheek while Joelle jumped up and let the sunshine into the room, even though it was already there.

"It's such a beautiful day." She smiled, sitting down next to Tom again, then snickered. Tom looked at her, awake from the getgo, raising an eyebrow.

"What are you hiding behind your back?" He asked with a faint smirk, but Joelle shook her head.

"No idea, wanna check?" She asked, Tom just shrugged cooly as he tried to glance around her, but she already pulled out a slim and long box for him, handing it over.

Tom opened it with a concentrated look.

"It's part two, so to say." Joelle said, and Tom understood why; it was a very expensive looking quill. He has often seen these, of course nowadays they were almost out-fashioned, but Tom liked it a lot. It was special. It was from her.

"I'll write into my diary with this." He said while observing it, but Joelle handed him something else; this time it wasn't wrapped up. An ink bottle.

"Now you're almost ready to go." She smiled, ruffling through his hair.

"Almost?" Tom asked. "What's missing?"

"A memory of course." Smiled Joelle, snickering when she pulled out a photograph from that day; it showed Tom in a very fancy suit and a smug grin with goofy Joelle standing next to him. Tom chuckled lowly when he saw it.

"You look like always." He smirked and Joelle laughed, playfully pushing his head away.

"Not so cheeky young man." She huffed, then got up. "Breakfast is ready. Come on." She yawned, reaching out her hand to him - he took it and together they walked downstairs.

Tom spent a quiet but nice day with Joelle. The latter even turned down Bryan's New Year's party - they would've gone somewhere outside with Paul and some other friends, but Joelle mentioned that she just wasn't the party type of girl - much to Tom's relief, he never understood the occasional get-togethers just to have a bunch of alcohol. It was already late in the evening and most of the kids were outside, waiting for the fireworks to start while Joelle and Tom decided to sit in front of the window to watch. It was too cold.

"I don't want school to start again." Tom murmured.

"You don't like school at all, do you? You're such a smart boy, Marvolo. You can go far if only you could get rid of that boredom."

"It's not my fault that everything bores me." He grumbled, turning his face away from her.

"I'm sure I could keep up with **your** classes if somebody let me." He added. Joelle nodded.

"No doubt about that." She smiled. Tom glanced at her for a while; Joelle always believed in him. Somebody like Mrs. Cole would've told him that he's exaggerating and overestimating his abilities - but Joelle knew that it was the truth. With her, Tom felt like he wanted take over the world and she'd still say that it was quite likely that he could do it.

"I'm eleven now..." Tom mumbled. "I don't feel like anything has changed. What awaits me? A boring future with even more boring people, a boring job...a boring life."

"No." Said Joelle. "I believe you'll have the most exciting life that you could imagine."

"There are two words in that sentence that don't apply to me, Joelle. Believing and imagining. Believing isn't knowing, and imagining is a nicer word for dreaming."

"You're already doing it. You believe you'll have a boring life and a boring job - you even imagine it. Why not the other way, why not the optimistic way?"

"Because I'm a realist." Shrugged Tom. "I don't have time for dreams."

"Then you don't have time for life." Sighed Joelle, looking out of the window. Tom frowned a little, then sighed as well, thinking about her words.

"You're an odd person." Said Tom then. "How can you always be so positive?"

"But is there a reason not to be? We are alive." Smiled Joelle. "I couldn't dream up a miracle better than that."

"Would you live forever if you could?" Tom asked, glancing at her. Joelle gave it a few seconds.

"People think it's noble when they say they are not afraid of death, they think they're brave, think only the weak fear to leave this earth. Truth be told, I can't imagine to be nonexistent. That makes me vulnerable to that question. I love life, every bit of it, only a mad person would be fine about letting it go...but maybe a little madness is absolutely okay..." She sighed.

"The truth is, the result remains the same, it makes no difference whatsoever - how you feel about death." Said Tom.

"Oh." Joelle smiled. "I believe it makes all the difference in the world."

Tom blinked a little, shaking his head. "Life is so pointless, Joelle. We don't live to survive. So pointless!" He suddenly growled out in frustration. "Special people shouldn't die."

"Special people won't die. Look! The firework has started." Squeaked Joelle. Tom's eyebrows twitched up, but he thought about it. Yes, she was right. Special people are immortal, they will be remembered.

He was special.

Two weeks passed. Tom thought it was quite understandable that Joelle did not want to see her father when he stood on the threshold a few days ago, merely closing the door on his face, saying that she did not need him now, asking where he was when she did. Tom could definitely understand Joelle's anger, however, he heard how Mrs. Cole had a conversation with him, after all, Joelle's father was the matron's brother.

It was the day of the trial, Joelle sighed, she needed a lot of tea to calm down. She has been up for three hours before anyone else - Tom heard her and found her in the kitchen; she was trembling. Quite an effect that this John had on her.

"Dear." Said Mrs. Cole, fixing Joelle's dark collar later. She looked enormously elegant, Tom thought it matched her so controlled behavior, however, he liked her casual version better. He has seen a lot of women around in London, but to him, none of them acted as much like a lady as Joelle did; she was without trying.

"Listen. He can't hurt you again, okay? Everything will be alright." Said her aunt, Joelle nodded bravely, but, for a reason Tom could not understand, she almost broke out in tears when she saw Bryan and flung her arms around him tightly while he rubbed up and down her back, trying to soothe her - and he even managed it, upon which Tom couldn't help but feel less than him.

It almost went in slow motion when Joelle and the rest walked into court an hour later, their appointment set, they waited in front of the door. John sat further away, policemen around him, just in case. It was a strange atmosphere. Tom looked around and noticed the same woman that opened the door for John that day - it must be his mother, considering the tears she cried into a handkerchief, repeatedly stating that her son was innocent. Tom also got to see Joelle's father for the first time - a tall and broad man with thick dark hair, dressed up well, but stood further away from his wife than expected, and instantly hasted over to Joelle once he saw her, pulling her into his arms. Tom could not hear what they talked about as Mrs. Cole pulled him away, giving them some privacy, but his eyes wandered over to John again, leering at Joelle in both murderous lust and wrath.

The trial was a bad awakening.

"So, Mr. John Lawrence, you are claiming that you did not sleep with Miss Joelle Cole?" Asked Mr. Tucker, John's defensive lawyer.

"False, Sir. I did sleep with Joelle, however, I did not rape her. She wanted it as much as I did."

"You **bastard**!" Screamed Joelle. "You're not doing this! You're not manipulating them, you-"

"Miss Cole!" Shouted the judge firmly, but Joelle just shook her head and fought the tears, Tom saw how her chest heaved up and down, her whole body was trembling - and so did Tom's. His nostrils flared as he glowered at John, so he did really try it this route. Pathetic.

"Please continue, Mr. Lawrence." Said the judge. John nodded.

"Joelle never liked my mother. She was always against her father's marriage, she mistreated my mother, Sir, never listened to her, she went wherever, never gave her a real chance. Joelle's father is...well...not as strict, I suppose he did not want to further pressure his daughter, whatever the reason." He paused theatrically. "I wanted to be there for Joelle when she had nobody. Yes, it's true, I...wanted to be as close to her as possible. But she allowed it."

"Liar!" Yelled Joelle again, but before the judge could say something, Mr. Tucker quickly went on.

"Mr. Lawrence, did I understand it correctly, you are saying that Miss Joelle Cole is falsely accusing you of rape to trouble the marriage of the both of your parents?"

"That is the only reason I can find for that, yes, Sir." Said John. Joelle jumped up from her seat, but was pulled back down by the prosecutor; the latter whispered something into her ear and Joelle nodded, her knee wobbling up and down in anxiety.

"Miss Joelle Cole, you are next." Said the judge. Mrs. Hillsburry whispered something into Joelle's ear again, then the both of them got up to the front.

After a longer procedure of Joelle explaining her version, explaining that John abused her for some time and continuously slapped and blackmailed her, it was finally time for Tom to come to the front. He had do suppress a smirk when he did because John Lawrence's eyes narrowed upon seeing him.

"Hello Mister Riddle." Smiled the judge; his voice turned a little softer. Tom nodded at him.

"Mister Riddle, please tell me why you have been hiding in the car the night before Christmas Eve, and tell us what you have heard once Mister Lawrence and Miss Cole entered." Said Mrs. Hillsburry.

"Before I answer that question, I must explain my experience with Mr. Lawrence. I have seen him attacking Joelle in front of school, he waited in a car for her. Another time he tried to pull her into the car, which Bryan Lessing will confirm, he was there too. After a long time of absence, Joelle visited the orphanage with a bruised face. As you have heard, she admitted that he has beaten her. When John Lawrence came into the orphanage the night of the event, I saw that Joelle was oddly stiff and scared, he had an impact on her, she did not go with him voluntarily but she was too frightened to disobey. I slipped into the car before anyone could notice and hid behind the passenger seat until they sat in. I've heard how Lawrence stated that he missed Joelle's body all the while grinning. He also told her that she needed to be disciplined in order to remember her place as a woman, and that he would not allow her to make a fool out of him, and made a sharp remark about Bryan's inability to recognize him. I then held a knife to Joelle's throat in order to make Lawrence drive off to the police."

"You little liar!" Hissed John. "You ordered me to drive into the forest!"

Tom frowned and shook his head. "Into the forest? You must be mistaken, Mr. Lawrence. That's where you wanted to drive off to, as I recall, you wanted Joelle to receive her punishment in the forest. You even managed taking away my knife, saying it will come in handy."

John's eyes were widened with rage, loud gasping and whispering erupted from all around; Joelle's lips parted; Joelle's father jumped up from his seat, shouting at John, he could barely be held back. "You wanted to kill my daughter in that forest?!"

"Silence!" Yelled the judge - and the whispering died out at once, his eyes fell on Tom again. "Go ahead, my boy."

"Mr. Lawrence has of course seen through me, after all, I'm just a child, how much power do I have over an adult?" Tom asked; some people nodded.

"Well, as we all know, he did not drive up to the police as I ordered him to, my naive plan did not work. So once he was in the forest, he got out of the car, he wanted to get Joelle out but we were faster, she crawled to the front and we drove off as fast as we could." Said Tom, biting his tongue stop a smirk; John's dumbfounded face was glorious.

"This clearly changes the case, Sir." Said Mrs. Hillsburry while looking at the judge, getting up from her chair.

"Not only sexual assault and personal injury, this is also an attempt of murder."

"I never wanted to kill Joelle! That child, that devil, you little shit!" Growled John, rushing up from his spot, he aimed to run towards Tom but the security held him back, handcuffing him. Tom glanced over to the jury, then back ahead, biting his tongue a little harder. _Hilarious_.

"Mr. Lawrence, the police has found you close to the forest that night, there have also been traces of the car, do you deny that you have been there?" Asked Mrs. Hillsburry.

"That little devil threatened to kill Joelle, he wanted me to drive there into the forest! You forbade me to drive off to the police, said you would kill her on the spot!" growled John, but Tom just frowned.

"Me? Kill? And why would I want you to drive into a forest?" Tom asked, the other people murmured again while nodding.

"BECAUSE YOU PLANNED THIS YOU GOD DAMN PIECE OF-"

"Mr. **LAWRENCE**!" Yelled the judge, rapidly banging onto his desk. John swallowed, panting in anger, but Tom didn't quite see it, he would be scared to burst out laughing if he took another glimpse.

"Is there something else you wish to add, Mister Riddle?" Asked the judge. Tom shook his head. "I've said everything that needed to be said, Sir."

It was like it happened in slow motion - but Tom wanted it like this, exactly like this. His eyes rolled back slightly when the decision came.

 _Mr. John Lawrence. Guilty on all counts._

Tom smirked. This would make a good memory for his diary.


	8. Exceeding Boundaries

**Chapter 8: Exceeding Boundaries**

 _Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at_ \- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Joelle was enormously quiet on their way back into the orphanage, her expression did not change since the trial. Bryan and Mrs. Cole both congratulated Joelle and patted Tom's shoulder, but none of the two said a single word.

"Elizabeth - ah good you're back, quick, Nick caught the flu, you might want to check." Said Martha, the helper from the other wing. Mrs. Cole nodded and hurried off with the other woman while Tom, Bryan, and Joelle stood in the kitchen.

"Can't believe he tried to kill you, Joelle. Tom, you are a hero! High-five!" He held up his hand to Tom, but the latter merely raised an eyebrow, sitting down by the table.

"Errm. Well, I'll take a shower." Said Bryan then, chuckling as he started to walk off. Joelle stared out of the window with parted lips and a cloudy expression, then turned her face towards Tom, wanting to say something.

"Wh-"

"Don't even start." Tom frowned. "He deserved it." He added.

"Marvolo..." Whispered Joelle. "I...I don't know what to say-...did-did you plan this?" She asked, walking over to him to look into his eyes. Tom shrugged.

"Maybe."

"Marvolo! This is not a game!" Shrieked Joelle. Tom's eyes narrowed greatly. Was she not thankful?

"I've done the both of us a big favor - I've done it for you!" He bellowed. Joelle sat down on the chair, running a hand through her hair.

"Why are you so stressed? Need I remind you of what he did? Don't you think he deserves to be locked up for a long long time? He would've gotten maybe five years at best with the sexual assault stuff - but an attempted murder...well, sadly it wasn't enough proof for them that he indeed _seriously_ ", he rolled his eyes at that, "attempted it. His defensive lawyer then beat him out of it, didn't he? Just because of my bad acting. I should've said that the wound on your neck was caused by John, I forgot to mention it! That would've given him a lifelong imprisonment for a serious attempt of killing you, yes, maybe even death penalty! But so be it. Fifteen years will suffice. For now..." He murmured almost absentmindedly.

Joelle stared into Tom's face as if she had never seen him before.

"Marvolo..." She whispered. "You scare me..."

Silence.

Tom glared at her, his nostrils starting to flare. "Go into your room." He suddenly said. Joelle frowned, shaking her head in confusion, wanting to retort something with a semi-chuckle, but Tom shot up from the table.

"Go into your room!" He barked, the chair behind him shot against the wall and Joelle gasped and ran upstairs and away, locking the door, staring at it in disbelief. She walked backwards, sitting down on the bed with eyes still widened, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to think, for sweet Marvolo could not truly have aimed to legally kill somebody through a manipulated statement. She sighed, lying down the bed, thinking about it all. What an exhausting day.

"Joelle." Came a voice later. Joelle blinked her eyes open, staring into Tom's face in front of her. She yawned and looked around, rubbing her forehead. It was two in the morning.

"Hmm?"

"Are you mad at me?" Tom asked, sitting down on her bed. Joelle pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.

"No." She said gently. Tom looked into her eyes, trying to see if she spoke the truth, then sighed when he was sure that she did. He couldn't help glancing away, then back at her again. She was distant. It was unacceptable.

"You think I'm a monster." He said. Joelle frowned, shaking her head once more.

"No, no. I don't think that. I just think that it's really early in the morning." She chuckled softly, still rubbing her head. Tom stared at her before resting his back against the wall, listening to what she said.

"I know you did that because you wanted to help me. But it could've...gone awfully wrong, Marvolo. I would never want you to be the cause of somebody's death, do you understand me?"

Tom looked away. "He doesn't deserve it any other way." He murmured. "And remember what he tried. He tried to manipulate the case, too. Saying you wanted him to touch you. He tried!"

"Because he is a horrible person. You are not a horrible person." Joelle said firmly, then sighed and hugged Tom against herself, kissing the crown of his head. Tom closed his eyes and, after a whole minute of doing nothing, he eventually hugged her back.

"Silly snowman." She smiled, not able to help yawning again. Tom looked up to her, letting go eventually.

"What's on your mind." He asked in his usual commanding manner. "Tell the truth!"

Joelle frowned, shaking her head. "Enough, Marvolo." She spoke firmly, picking up her well known warning. Tom huffed, crossing his arms then.

"I'm making the rules here." He grumbled, causing Joelle to purse her lips in amusement again. It was like Tom merely reminded her of it, as always, but had no other choice but to drop the topic anyway.

He had to admit it, to some extent she was making the rules as well.

Tom Marvolo Riddle, as a child, has never cared much about social contacts, never wanted to have any sort of friend, never needed much attention. As long as he had himself, things were perfectly alright. Joelle Cole was one of those exceptions he was sure to find only once in his life. She never asked him to change, never judged him for the things he could do - and during the next couple of months, because yes, Joelle indeed moved into the orphanage, Tom and she were glued together as though they were one person. He did not like to see her away from him, stopped talking to her when she met a friend, and still followed her to school whenever he had the chance. One day, Joelle caught him leering behind a bush and instantly stormed up to him in anger.

"Marvolo! Quit following me around!" She had yelled.

"I can go wherever I want." He had responded then, causing Joelle to be the one to not speak to him for a whole three days - Tom couldn't bare it at all, proven by the many glasses that mysteriously crashed down in the kitchen. Mrs. Cole was the least happiest, she had to buy new ones, but at least Joelle talked to Tom the next day again, things were normal, as they should.

It was a warm day of April, the very first sun rays lit up the dining room, freshly plucked flowers embellished the table's center. Tom glanced at them, reminding himself of the day he and Joelle sneaked into the winter garden of their neighbor Mrs. Kenneth, who was an awful old lady, always screaming at the kids for being too loud. Joelle was never the spiteful kind of girl, but that changed when Mrs. Kenneth shouted out of her window at Joelle, telling her she looked like a slut and should dress up properly.

"Good news, children." Grinned Mrs. Cole during dinner. "We will go to the countryside this summer, we've been there three years ago, who remembers?"

"Me, me,I do, me!" The kids cheered. Tom sighed, not caring much about it, but Joelle smiled brightly.

"Can I come too?" She asked. Tom snapped his head towards Mrs. Cole, he would not go anywhere without Joelle - or furthermore, could now allow her to be away from him.

"Of course you're coming." He said in a tone of finality. Everyone glanced at him, then away again.

"Oh dear, I would love you to, if it's possible, of course. I'll see what I can do as you're not officially a part of this orphanage and you know your father just gave us his okay for you to live here, it wasn't that legal but- ah well. I suppose he's stressed as it is, the divorce is still not through, Marianne is trying a lot to prevent it..." Mrs. Cole sighed, rubbing Joelle's shoulder, but Tom was not satisfied.

"Miss Cole, Joelle has to come with us. Where can she go anyway when we aren't here for seven days?"

"Well, she would stay with Martha in the other wing with the younger ones." Said Mrs. Cole. "But don't worry, Tom. I'm sure we can find a solution for that."

"I won't come with you, though." Said Bryan suddenly. Joelle frowned. "Why not?" She asked, obviously not so impressed by that.

"Well..." Bryan grinned brightly. "They wrote a letter, saying if my grades won't change I can start my training after summer!" He blurted out and Joelle gasped in surprise, hugging him.

"Yay! I'm so happy for you, Bryan!" She squeaked and Mrs. Cole smiled feverishly as well, nodding in pride. "Congrats my boy!"

"So you will become a man of law." Joelle said and sighed happily. Tom glanced at Bryan, raising an eyebrow. Ever since the whole incident with Joelle those months ago, Bryan wanted nothing more than to become a policeman. He couldn't imagine a man less suited for that position. Sure, Bryan had the body to be, he trained a lot and was kind of muscular, but definitely lacked in strictness. His only hope was for everyone to surrender upon his good looks. Tom chuckled to himself. _Ridiculous_.

But somebody did not seem to find it ridiculous at all. Tom's eyes glued to Joelle again, narrowing steadily. She hugged Bryan. And that dreamy expression, it was unbearable. This did not go the way he wanted it to. He tried to catch Joelle's attention, but impossible, she was too distracted by perfect Bryan. Tom felt his heartbeat increasing upon the anger rising in his chest. She broke the rules! Tom forbade her to be in any sort of contact with Bryan, still yet, they kept on chattering around, giggling and laughing; even **hugging**. Tom got up from the table.

"Come, Joelle. I want to _show_ you something." He murmured. This phrase turned out to be Tom's code for "you did something that displeased me and I want to confront you with it." Joelle, of course knowing this, just sighed and nodded, getting up from the table and followed Tom into his room.

"What is it now?" She asked.

"Sit." He demanded, locking the door.

Joelle raised an eyebrow, but sat down on the bed nonetheless, her lips curling up into a small grin.

"You broke the rules." Tom said calmly, almost businesslike.

"Ah come on, this was an exception, Bryan was so happy. Isn't it awesome how-"

"I never included exceptions." Said Tom firmly, not taking his eyes off of her. Joelle sighed, then chuckled. "You should be a teacher someday. Your strictness is the best asset for that."

"I do indeed believe that you need to learn your lesson. Even though I thought the trial already gave you some insight on how I can be..." He sat down next to her.

Joelle frowned, it was for the first time that Tom was sure she did not believe he was joking, maybe the bubble popped at last. Now was the moment Joelle finally knew he meant it.

"But..." She fished for words. "You would never hurt me."

"I don't **want** to hurt you...I never said I wouldn't." Murmured Tom, getting up from the bed now. Joelle crossed her arms, observing him closely but with a wary expression.

"Marvolo..." She said warningly, eyebrows constricting as he stood in front of her. She looked up to him curiously, his eyes showed no awareness of her condition.

"If you think I'd resolve to methods like spanking or other forms of physical violence, you can breathe again." He said. Joelle's eyebrows had a dance of disbelief, eyes joining, she did not even think of that.

"No." Sighed Tom. "No, as much as I detest John and what he did, he taught me that physical violence against you is as good as pointless. I thought of something else."

Joelle stared at him, her mouth gapped open.

"I am fair, Joelle, you see. I am letting you know what awaits you." He still looked into her eyes, but they were oddly empty, still.

"Be compliant - things are okay. In case you are not...Someone dear to you has to pay for it." He said.

Joelle blinked. "Marvolo, e-enough, you're going too far!"

"Joelle", said Tom softly, a grin crept up his face. "This is not a game."

More time passed, the cold days were finally over. Joelle never gave Tom a reason to hurt somebody else, however, warmed up at some point again after a while of distance towards him. She returned from school earlier this day because her teacher broke his leg somewhen before class - almost nobody was there when she came back. Joelle rarely visited the other wing of the orphanage where Martha was, as there were already plenty of things to do here, however, it was almost scary to see nobody around. Walking upstairs, she frowned greatly when she passed by room 27, seeing the door tilted open slightly.

"Marvolo?!" Frowned Joelle; Tom shot up from his desk, eyes widened. She never caught him off guard.

"What- what are you doing here?!" He frowned. "Nobody is here at this time!"

"No, what are **you** doing here?!" She crossed her arms.

"I...caught a cold." Said Tom, clearing his throat and quickly climbed back into the bed again. Joelle raised an eyebrow.

"Don't insult my intelligence." She walked closer, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"Sweetheart, you need to go to school."

"You're not at school right now, are you!" He barked.

"My teacher, unlike you, does have a health issue." She said sternly. Tom mumbled something under his breath.

"I hate school, Joelle. I don't want to learn all those things I already know."

"What do you think is the sense of school?" Joelle asked. "Do you really think it's learning?"

Tom shrugged. "By the sound of your question probably not."

"It's to differentiate. Whatever they tell you, Marvolo, school produces people fit for certain areas of professions. I would die unhappy knowing you landed under a bridge someday with that potential of yours."

"Hmpf..." Huffed Tom. "Everything is so boring."

"You just need a goal."

" **Just** she says..."

Joelle sighed, her hand rested on Tom's shoulder securely, rubbing her thumb up and down but said nothing for the while.

"What's your goal? What do you want to do with your life?" Tom asked.

"I want to study. Psychology fascinates me."

Silence.

Tom grew paler than normal, his body turned oddly rigid, eyes widened in destructive anger. His lips thinned upon those words, he turned his face to her, only managing a breathy "No!"

"Hm?" Joelle frowned.

"YOU WILL NOT!" Yelled Tom, shooting up from the bed. Joelle's eyes widened and she looked to the left and right as if to find her mistake somewhere, not understanding the error of her answer.

"But what-"

Tom clenched his fists. The doors of his wardrobe flew open and closed again aggressively, Joelle jumped up but Tom pushed her back; she had absolutely no words left - was too shocked.

"You will not! You will not become a doctor, no, NOT **YOU**!" He yelled.

"But sweetheart-"

"Don't sweetheart me! You will not be one of those...those...fools...trying to find out what's wrong in the mind, like them, like those idiots, no. I will not allow it. Do you hear? I forbid it! Don't test me, Joelle!" He yelled again, Joelle just massaged the bridge of her nose.

"Swear to me!" Tom frowned, grabbing her shoulders. "Swear you'll not be one of them...!"

"Marvolo. Please calm down. And let us talk about-"

"There, there, you're already starting like them!" He growled.

"Marvolo!" Joelle yelled back suddenly. Tom's nostrils flared, his eyes were still widened, chest heaving up and down, but he let her talk for now.

"I don't even want to become a doctor. Not all psychologists are doctors, alright?"

Tom's eyes softened a little, he let go of her.

"You'll not become a doctor?" He asked again.

"I won't...if you promise me to go to school again." She grinned. Tom glared at her at first, but her grin activated a smirk on his lips as well. She had learned from him.

"Well played." He huffed, then nodded. "It seems like a deal, though."

"You've had some bad experiences with doctors, hm?" She asked.

"They think I'm mad." Tom glared. "I'm not mad, Joelle." He looked at her and for once she could see something in his eyes that appeared vulnerable; it made her heart ache.

"No, you're not mad." She said softly but with as much conviction as possible, and Tom would know because he listened closely when she said it. If she indeed believed Tom was mad, she was a great actress, for Tom could not hear the slightest of wavering melody. No. Joelle did not believe he was mad. Not his Joelle.

Not his Joelle.

It was a beautiful day in June, at least as beautiful as a day could get for Tom. Bryan Lessing moved out of the orphanage, but not only that, he had to move further out of town because London wasn't the cheapest of places to live in. This was just perfect. Joelle wouldn't see Bryan at all anymore as he would also soon stop going to school - perfect, perfect, perfect.

"Hey Joelle." Smiled Amy Benson once she walked over into the kitchen. Her eyes met those of Tom - and she quickly turned around but Joelle was oblivious to that little nonverbal conversation behind her back while fixing something to eat.

"Hey Amy, sweetheart. How was school?" She asked.

"Good!" Amy chirped. "I made something for you." She grinned brightly and pulled out the ugliest painting Tom has ever seen - but of course to Joelle it was nothing but sheer art. Tom rolled his eyes, Joelle loved art. One day, he accompanied her into a museum and thought he had never visited a place more boring - but Joelle was downright fascinated.

"It's just black and white." Tom had said, standing in front of a so called piece of art. "No colors at all, but it's still a painting. That's idiotic."

"This is not just black and white, Marvolo. This is the most colorful painting that you can lay your eyes on."

Tom did not quite understand, Joelle had explained to him why exactly that was the case but he did not care much, it was what it was, a black and white painting. Full stop.

"This is just awesome, Amy! I will totally hang this in my room!" Joelle squealed. Tom rolled his eyes again.

"When's food going to be ready?" He asked dryly, earning himself a glare from Joelle.

"Marvolo, instead of asking me you could just get up from that chair and help me, how about that?"

Amy giggled in a high pitched voice while pressing her hands to her mouth, falling silent upon realizing whom she laughed at.

"Hmpf." Grumbled Tom, resting his chin on his folded arms on the table, watching Amy disappearing from view. He rubbed his chin, deeply in thoughts over something, but his eyes swept over to Joelle again.

The next week was simply amazing. Their trip to the countryside started and Joelle was the squeakiest of all people, Tom could not help but smile to himself when she observed everything with big eyes - she has probably never been here before. Their camp was a lot tidier than the last time, he looked around the several tepees and instantly claimed the one in the very back, pulling Joelle along.

"Marvolo! Pfaha, wait, where are we going? Why this tepee? It's so far away from the rest of the group." Sighed Joelle.

"Which is what I want." Said Tom, walking into the tent. He glanced at Joelle, waving her by. "Come on then." He said softly and Joelle walked in as well. The teepee was tall enough to stand upright and quite roomy for two people. Tom started to pull out two blankets that were stored in the back, fluffing up some pillows, then sighed, feeling satisfied.

"I would love to see more of the landscape." Said Joelle, starting to walk out of the teepee again while Tom followed.

Later that evening, the kids sat around a fire while roasting some bits of food - the scent of burnt wood lingered in the air and the warmth of the fire made everyone cozy under the starry sky. Joelle almost cried upon feeling so good, Tom could clearly see it on her face.

"She walked into the cellar...the creaking sounds of the floor accompanied her every step...everything was dark when suddenly...ROAR!" Growled Billy, laughing at everybody's screams of fear, Amy fell off of her seat. Joelle laughed heartily, holding her stomach while wiping away a tear - only Tom was bored. He sighed, observing the place.

"Come to me..." Said a soft voice. Tom raised an eyebrow, wondering who had said it. His eyes wandered over to the rustling grass, frowning a bit when he saw it moving again.

"Follow me..." It said again. Tom's eyebrows twitched together, he got up to look around but could not see what or who it was.

"Marvolo? Are you alright?" Asked Joelle with a smile, rubbing his shoulder gently. Tom looked around, then nodded at her again.

"He's scared of the story and looks around for the monster." Grinned Eric and the other kids chuckled - but Tom's eyes were still glued to the same spot. How very strange.

"Well then, children. It's late. Let's go to sleep." Said Mrs. Cole, yawning a little as she stretched up. The rest of the group got up as well and Joelle started to count to check if everyone was there. "Six, seven, eight...nine. Yes. Everyone's here." She said, then waved at the group, walking off with Tom - furthermore Tom pulling Joelle with him.

"Good night Marvolo." Smiled Joelle as she cuddled under her blanket. Tom nodded at her, smiling a slight bit.

"Good night Joelle." He said, watching how she closed her eyes. It didn't take a lot of time for her to fall asleep, but it annoyed him to see that she turned around and her back was facing him now. Grumbling lowly, Tom rolled on his back and eyed up the tepee's crown, then sat up with a frown.

"We're here...we're everywhere...if you want us to be there..."

That voice again. Tom rubbed his eyes.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"We are your friends." Said the voice.

"I don't need friends." Said Tom darkly, looking around. "Show yourself." He said again. He looked over to the tepee's entrance and even his eyes widened upon the very view. A snake slithered in and Tom's first reaction was to frown.

"Are...you the voice?" He asked.

"Yes." Said the snake.

Tom shook his head, rubbing his forehead. Was he dreaming?

"You can seek our attention, if you please. You can find us in the cave."

"Cave?"

"Yes."

"Mhnmh..." Groaned Joelle.

"Do you want me to take care of that human?" Asked the snake, inching closer. Tom frowned, glaring.

"Nobody will hurt her." He hissed at it and the snake curled up, nodding, its tongue sticking out as it eyed up Joelle, then started slithering away.

"Marvolo?" Asked Joelle, rubbing her eyes. She turned on a small oil lamp.

"I'm sorry. It was Eric, he thought this was the restroom tepee." Said Tom and Joelle yawned.

"Alright dear. Go to sleep now." She said softly and turned around again. Tom watched her for a few seconds before his eyes wandered off again, to the spot where he had last seen the snake.

 _23rd of June, 1938_

 _Dear Bryan,_

 _I hope you are doing fine. You have no idea how awesome it is here, the sun is shining like crazy at the countryside. (Yes I was allowed to go.) The landscape is simply fantastic, there are hills and seas everywhere, it's all green. We are staying in a tepee camp (in case you don't know what it is, a tepee is some sort of tent), which is awesome, it feels like we're one with nature! Of course Marvolo shares a tepee with me, what did you expect? Anyway, I have to quit writing now, Marvolo's already whining about not paying attention to him._

 _Hope to see you soon,_

 _Joelle_

"Joelle!" Frowned Tom. "How many times do I have to call out your name?!"

"My attention is all yours." She smiled at him, but Tom was not amused at all.

"I've been calling out your name for at least six times. I doubt your attention is all mine. Whom is that card for?! To whom are you writing?" He growled, but Joelle sighed.

"Marvolo, it's such a beautiful day, we are spending so much time together for the coming week, we even share a tepee. Calm down, will you?" She asked, packing the card away into her bag.

"Where are you going!" Asked Tom. Joelle spun around to him with a glare, warning him to continue his tantrum now - and Tom decided to keep quiet for once, but he watched how she put the card into a large bag next to a sign that read

 _letters and cards will be collected and sent out each Wednesday. Please make sure to include enough stamps._

Tom inhaled deeply, inwardly counting to ten before he walked over to Joelle and the rest of the group, but his anger did not vanish. Joelle was busy as always, doing something else with someone else, chattering with Mrs. Cole and a bunch of other older people while the orphans played around. The anger did not decrease. Quite in fact, it grew beyond measure while Tom watched Amy being busy with her Yo-Yo and Dennis played the harmonica next to her, both of them sat under a tree. The anger in Tom's chest started to feel like a fire taking over his body, burning his innards. His eyes wandered over to Amy's Yo-Yo again before, with a flick of his will, it flew out of her hand and into his. Amy gasped, walking over to Tom and Dennis followed.

"Tom! Give it back!" She squeaked but Tom started to walk up a hill already, Dennis and Amy following.

"Tom! Stop! Give it back! Give it back, Tom!" Growled Dennis but Tom was quicker, he was much taller than them after all.

"I'll tell Joelle!" Squeaked Amy again. Tom stopped dead in his tracks, glaring, wanting to retort something, but then smiled sweetly.

"I just want to play with you." He sighed, pointing over to a cave across the sea. Both Dennis and Amy gasped. They stood on a very tall hill, a cliff almost, and for the briefest of moments Tom felt his fingertips twitching. He had to suppress the urge.

"Whoah..." They said in unison, eyes twinkling. It was a gigantic place in children's eyes, stony and of intimidating beauty with waves breaking on the cave's surface. The entrance was barely visible - but they could still see it.

"Are we going there?" Asked Amy excitedly. Tom nodded.

"How did you know it was here?" Asked Dennis in awe.

"Saw it on Joelle's postcard." Said Tom.

"How can we get in?" Asked Amy, but Tom smirked, turning around, grabbing Dennis's harmonica and started to run off while the other two giggled and followed him. Amy fell on her bottom a couple of times while they slid down the several hills, the air turned chillier the closer they came to the water. The cave seemed a lot nearer when they stood on top of the hill even though it turned out to take an awful long time to reach it; but they eventually did.

"Whoooahhh..." Murmured Dennis when they eyed up the cave's entrance, completely unbelieving of its size. Amy, however, snuggled closer to Dennis, not able to compensate the scary aura that this place gave off.

"Den, I wanna go back..." She whispered up to him, looking around. "Where is Tom?" She then asked.

"I hid your toys in there." Said a voice behind them suddenly. Amy and Dennis both spun around to Tom, back towards the cave's entrance, gulping upon its darkness, then started to walk in together while Tom watched them, a faint grin grew on his lips.

"And then I found it, can you believe it?!" Laughed Mr. Werner, an old man that visited the tepee camp for the twenty seventh time now with his wife Amanda. They handed over plates of cake for everyone.

"Where's Marvolo?" Asked Joelle, looking around while stretching and yawning. Mrs. Cole shrugged.

"Aren't you usually having him on a leash?"

She chuckled and bit into a nice piece of cake. "Mhm. This is delicious, Amanda, did you bake this?"

"He kind of ripped himself away." Chuckled Joelle. "I can't see Amy and Dennis either." She then added and Mrs. Cole's face instantly paled, clawing onto the plate, her chewing slowed down as her eyes widened.

After unsuccessful attempts of finding the children, Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop returned an hour later, none of them said a single word and Joelle was sure she has never seen two kids more frightened than that - their eyes reflected sheer and naked horror.

"Amy? Amy, sweetheart, are you alright?" Asked Joelle. Amy looked down at Joelle but her lips were pressed together softly, eyes cloudy, she did not respond to anything at all and neither did Dennis when Mrs. Cole tried. Joelle's eyes instantly went over to Tom who watched the whole scene with crossed arms, gasping when Joelle rushed by and ripped him around and into the tent.

"You need to tell me what happened, Marvolo!"

"Why would I know? I was sitting on top of the hill and watched the waves. I've seen them walking out of a cave, though." He said softly. Joelle considered him for a moment, raising an eyebrow.

"Marvolo...we have been looking everywhere, we did not see you."

"I've been further away." He shrugged. "Told you, I have seen them coming out of a cave. Surely they will tell you what happened...should they speak, that is. They didn't tell me anything when I asked. It must have been horrible." He added, smirking when Joelle nodded and turned her face away from him.

"Horrible enough to stop the trip and return to the orphanage." Sighed Joelle sadly while starting to pack up everything - causing Tom to frown when she lowered her head.

The whole thing was a big ordeal. Much bigger than it needed to be, Tom thought. Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop did not speak for the coming week and of course, as Joelle said, they returned back to the orphanage the very same day. Dennis and Amy were instantly sent into whatever hospital.

Did Tom had a bad conscience? Not at all. The only thing he slightly pitied was the fact that he could not spend some time with Joelle at the countryside - but on a second thought, it did not matter where they would spend their time together; here or there, what did he care? The result mattered. The only odd thing that Tom encountered was the increasing absence of Mrs. Cole into her office lately. He knew about the several Whiskey bottles that she neatly hid somewhere in her mismatched furniture, chuckling at the imagination of Joelle's aunt on the couch, philosophizing over where she had gone wrong with Tom.

Little did Tom know that in fact, Mrs. Cole opened a letter.

"Professor Dumbledore?" She murmured to herself and frowned, raising an eyebrow. And he wanted to discuss Tom Riddle's career?


	9. Life Changing News

**An: IMPORTANT: for all of those that read the previous chapter quite early: I wasn't satisfied with how I portrayed the countryside scene and thought I made it a bit too short - so I went back and added some extra information. (If you know who "that voice" was then you've read the updated version). It's not necessarily important for the rest of the story, however. So don't worry, that was just me. It still might be interesting for you to read, though. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 9: Life Changing News**

 _The starting point of all achievement is desire -_ Napoleon Hill

It was a busy afternoon. Mrs. Cole put a couple of unopened bills away, grumbling something under her breath when Martha entered the office once more to tell her something while Mrs. Cole scribbled a quick response.

 _Professor Dumbledore,_

 _I would be pleased to welcome you to Wool's Orphanage on the fifteenth of July._

 _Kind regards,_

 _Elizabeth Cole_

"Joelle, dear, can you please gather the laundry?" Asked Mrs. Cole and Joelle nodded with a smile, starting to walk around the several rooms. Tom followed her.

"Where are you going? Joelle? Joelle? Listen to me!"

Joelle glanced over her shoulder, paying Tom an insincere smile.

"You haven't talked to me a lot since we came back." He said. Joelle glanced at him, wanting to say something, but Tom cut her off.

"You think it was me."

"No."

Tom chuckled. "Joelle...don't lie to me. You think it was me. I didn't hurt Amy or Dennis, you have to believe me!"

"Marvolo..." Sighed Joelle, walking past him, but Tom was having none of that. He glared at her back and the laundry went flying everywhere in the corridor.

"Don't. Walk off. When I'm speaking. To you." Tom said through gritted teeth, his arms clutched to his sides stiffly. Joelle slid down the wall exhaustedly, looking up to the ceiling with the laundry all over the place while starting to massage the bridge of her nose again; Tom caught her doing this a lot whenever she was too stressed out by him.

"Joelle..." Said Tom softly then, kneeling in front of her. "Please...believe me...you...you're the only one I trust, please don't be like them, don't blame me like them...you're...all I have?" He sighed and Joelle's eyes started to twinkle with tears. She instantly pulled Tom into her arms, kissing his cheek a couple of times.

"I'm sorry snowman, I didn't mean to doubt you..." She said softly while Tom hugged her back - a grin crept up his lips but he closed his eyes for once and just enjoyed the little bit of closeness.

It was a strange day. Even though summer has just started, it rained outside as if fall was knocking on the doors already, not asking for entrance, simply storming in - or so Joelle thought. She yawned a little, it was also one of those days where it was difficult to wake up, despise the fact that it was a Friday afternoon.

"Potatoes...cucumbers...carrots..." Joelle murmured to herself while adding everything into a basket, checking her list a couple of times before proceeding to pay for the shopping.

"Slut! Thinking dressing up in a black coat makes you a lady? And these dark stockings? Those black shoes? No girl, no! That's not how a proper lady dresses up! And that umbrella looks like an onion!"

"Good day to you too, Mrs. Kenneth." Sighed Joelle, rolling her eyes as she walked into the orphanage and put away the umbrella. What was that woman's problem? It had a beautiful form. Shaking her head, Joelle took off her shoes and wet coat, walking into the kitchen, but frowned at Tom, who was accompanied by somebody else on the stairs.

"P-Professor?" Frowned Joelle and Tom's eyes widened. Professor Dumbledore smiled gently, looking from Tom to Joelle.

"Ah, young Miss Cole, how small is the world?" He asked, but he saw how Joelle had her head lowered and did not seem to be all too comfortable. Dumbledore sighed softly and nodded to himself, then took his hat off politely before putting it back on, smiling when Mrs. Cole accompanied him out of the door. Tom and Joelle glanced at each other in sheer disbelief.

"E-e-explain!" Said Tom, grabbing Joelle around the wrist, running upstairs with her. The door of his room locked on an instant and Joelle pressed her back against it, but her eyes wandered over to the wall behind Tom's desk.

"Is that my card from the cave at the countryside-"

"HOW! How do you know him?!" Tom thundered out and Joelle lowered her head.

"Marvolo..." She sighed gently.

"Tell the truth! Tell the truth! Right now! Or I swear by all means-"

"I knew what you are. Because I am, too." Said Joelle softly. Tom's eyes simply widened in shock.

"You...you knew...?!" He asked, a sudden bright grin embellished his face, giving him more of a beastly look than anything else.

"Then you went to Hogwarts too?!" Tom asked. Joelle shook her head, looking away while fiddling around with the fabric of her clothes.

"What? Why not?!" Tom asked, pulling her over to him by her hand, pressing her down onto the bed. Joelle still stared to her lap.

"I wasn't allowed to go..." She said softly.

"What?! Who forbade it?! Your parents?!"

"My mother." Said Joelle. "She wanted me to...learn something else, she forbade me to visit that school."

"Why! How can she say that?! She's not even a witch, she wouldn't have died if she had been..." Said Tom and Joelle looked up into his eyes; which was when Tom noticed his insensitivity.

"But your father doesn't appear to be magical either..." Frowned Tom. "Then who is? Of your family?"

Joelle shrugged. "None of my parents, that's for sure." She chuckled bitterly.

"Is that why you could open the door that day I had locked it?" Asked Tom. Joelle chuckled and nodded.

"You have a lot more control over your abilities than I do. But yes, I really wanted to get out that day, just wanted to shock your ego a little...unfortunately my abilities have a limit when I'm downright terrified. That's why nothing worked against John."

Tom huffed, then grinned. "You will come with me! You can...can learn too! Everything!"

Joelle smiled and shook her head. "It's too late, Marvolo. People from that world are almost done at my age."

"No! You will have to come with me! I've been wondering how to take you with me ever since Dumbledore-"

"Professor Dumbledore." Corrected Joelle firmly.

"Professor..." Tom grumbled. "Dumbledore told me what I am. I can't believe you are, too! This is perfect, this is...meant to be! It can't be a coincidence, the both of us...!"

"Marvolo." Smiled Joelle. "I'm afraid there is no place for me in your world. I had to refuse my magical career-"

"You were forced to! You did not want to, did you?! You did not want to refuse it! I saw it on Dum- Professor Dumbledore's face when he looked at you, he wanted to talk to you but you were distant and I'm sure he...he did not want to make you suffer upon asking you again or something!"

"Well observed." Smiled Joelle, patting Tom's head. "But I'm...quite happy with my life."

"I won't accept this, Joelle. You know me by now." He then got up, glancing to the box on his desk that Joelle glanced at.

"Is that Amy's Yo-Yo? And...Dennis's harmonica?" Joelle asked with a frown. Tom glanced at her, then away again.

"They...gave these things to me to play with...but...I will return them." He said and Joelle raised an eyebrow, then nodded.

"Back to what truly matters." Smiled Tom, pulling out the letter again. "Diagon Alley, he told me how to get there. You will be able to see the place too if...you're magical. Even if you weren't, I'm sure you could still see it. I mean, how are the other non-magical parents helping their children to find their stuff?" Tom grinned widely at the sound of the word "magic".

"I suppose so..." Said Joelle with a sad smile.

"We will go there to get my things." Said Tom. Joelle smiled again, this time more sincerely.

"You want me to accompany you?" She asked.

"Yes. Dum- Professor!", he grumbled upon Joelle's stern look, "wanted to accompany me but I told him I didn't need him. I wanted you to come with me instead."

Joelle smiled once more, pecking Tom's cheek. "My snowman will go to Hogwarts." She sighed again, her eyes lowered to the ground and Tom lowered his head as well.

"You're coming with me..." He said softly. Joelle shook her head.

"I'm not allowed to, Marvolo. Even if I wanted to. I told you, I decided against that world-"

"Involuntarily! You have the potential, you can't just throw it away!"

"But maybe my future lies right here! I want to study and become a psycholo-"

"Forget about that! That's your past from now on!" Growled Tom, his eyes eyes reddened slightly and Joelle sighed again.

"I will find a way, Joelle. I will." He said.

"No, Marvolo. I'm happy with my life as it is, I really am. I'm just unhappy about letting you go." She glanced away in sadness, but Tom shook his head.

"No. I won't let this happen. You're coming with me." He said full of determination. Joelle chuckled.

"You're not allowed to use magic outside of school. You can't make me." She grinned and Tom's eyes widend. She was right - he had absolutely no power over anyone anymore now that he was forbidden to use his "stuff", as Billy often called it. His expression softened. The others didn't know. But Joelle knew. He glared again.

"Oh you don't think you can go ahead and break all the rules now that I'm forbidden to use my **powers**!" He grumbled and Joelle laughed.

"You'll be as ordinarily ordinary as you have to be. Unless you want to be expelled, of course. What first? I think I'll go and kiss Bryan now." Joelle laughed heartily when she got up and Tom pulled her back down - shaking his head as he watched her rolling around with laughter.

"You laugh now, Joelle. But wait until I have my wand. There must be a way around not using magic outside of school. And the first thing I will do is setting your bottom on fire."

Joelle exploded with laughter, howling loudly and Tom sighed but chuckled to himself, just letting giggly Joelle have her moment of joy while he thought about everything. He would find a way to take her with him, even if it was against her will.

The next day was absolutely amazing. Tom got up early, unable to sleep any longer.

"Joelle? Wake up." He said softly. Joelle yawned and checked the time, frowning. "But sweetheart, it's not even six in the morning...!"

"You will take ten minutes whining about getting up, another ten minutes to brew your tea while whining about getting up, then thirty minutes to fix breakfast while whining about getting up and-"

"Yes, yes. Okay. I got it. Can you please be a quiet donkey again? I prefer that over whatever this is." Grumbled Joelle grimly while yawning. "Urgh...I don't want to get up..."

Breakfast was quiet this time because nobody was up yet. Joelle quickly fixed Tom and herself some pancakes that they ate on their way to Diagon Alley; Tom insisted on leaving as fast as possible. Joelle smiled to herself, she could understand his excitement, even though she was unable to recall ever seeing him this eager about something.

A while later, they arrived at Diagon Alley, walking into some strange pub. People eyed them up and down curiously but glanced away again; people like Tom and Joelle belonged to the daily scenery.

"So this is the Leaky Cauldron?" Whispered Joelle and looked around the place. Tom just gave it a halfhearted glance while walking up to a man behind the counter, cleaning some glasses.

"Are you Tom the barman?" Asked Tom, slightly snarling up his nose upon saying the name.

"Why yes, I am. And you wish to...?" He suspiciously raised an eyebrow at Tom.

"Get into Diagon Alley." Said Tom and pulled out the Hogwarts letter. The barman nodded at him with a warm smile and Joelle linked her arm with Tom's while watching how the barman tapped on a couple of bricks on the wall - and they instantly moved to the side. Joelle frowned widely while Tom's grin couldn't have been brighter. It looked like a market in front of them - a marked of curiosities and people none of them has ever seen before.

"Oh- th-anks Sir, good day to you!" Squeaked Joelle at the barman who tossed his hand up with a chuckle, watching them disappearing through the wall.

"Marvolo! Look at this place, this is just awesome..." Gasped Joelle, looking around at the people and they looked back, eying the both of them up and down. Diagon Alley consisted of plenty of houses that appeared tipsy to Joelle; their shapes wobbly, as if they'd crash down all too soon.

"We aren't dressed properly..." She said, clearing her throat in embarrassment when a witch huffed at Joelle.

"Anyway, what's on the list?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. Tom did not appear as excited as she was, quite in fact, it was like there was only one thing that mattered to him.

"I want to get a wand first!" Said Tom eagerly, looking around. "Can you see a store that looks like it could sell some?" He asked. Joelle shook her head and the both of them started to stroll around.

The scent of freshly baked pumpkin rolls ensnared their senses, chattering about the latest 'Quidditch' match, the news on the 'Daily Prophet', it all left Joelle with a feeling of amazement and a tinge of longing. She was, however, truly happy for Tom to be able to experience this.

"Over there!" Joelle then pointed ahead towards a store. "Ollivanders Wandshop, makers of fine wands since 382 B.C." She read out and Tom pulled her in on an instant. Everything looked incredibly old but exquisite, it had an enchanting personality. Joelle smiled to herself while watching the scene.

"Hello my dear boy." Said a man with a soft tone, blue eyes and brownish hair that started to turn grey.

"Hello, Sir. I need a wand for my first year at Hogwarts." Said Tom. Mr. Ollivander nodded with a smile.

"Of course, of course you do." He said, eying Tom up and down, then nodded, walking off. Joelle watched him curiously but smiled assuringly at Tom when the latter turned around to her for a second, then stared ahead, observing how Mr. Ollivander pulled out several long packages that were stacked up like shoeboxes.

"Maybe this one. Holly, ten inches, dragon heartstring." He said, handing over the long piece of wood. Tom grabbed it cautiously, holding it in his hand, and without further instruction needed, he aimed the wand at the door, causing it to break off its hinges and flatly fall down - Joelle just jumped in surprise at the noise when it hit the ground.

"Perfect!" Said Tom, but Mr. Ollivander shook his head.

"Oh no, no, no. This is not perfect, my dear boy. The wand chooses its master, you see. Those who studied wandlore are familiar to that phenomenon. No, I say you need something else. Here. Maybe this one. Yew. Thirteen and one half inches, Phoenix feather." Ollivander handed it over. Tom raised an eyebrow, he was satisfied with the first one but as soon as his hand wrapped around the wand in his hand, he felt an odd electrifying pulsation of energy rushing through his body, his eyes flickered red for just the split of a second - he felt connected. He aimed it at Joelle - and Joelle gasped, but found herself right next to Tom the other second and she frowned, looking around with widened eyes. "Oh my god!" She squeaked. Tom smirked.

"Indeed, perfect. This is your match, my boy." Smiled Mr. Ollivander as he took the wand out of Tom's hand, who grumbled lowly, but lightened up when the box was handed back to him. Tom paid and walked out of the store while Joelle was still overly amazed.

"Aww, you've got a wand. You're a proper wizard now." Smiled Joelle and ruffled through Tom's hair. Tom grinned slightly, glancing at his bag, then to his list again. After another two hours, Tom had everything he needed. He and Joelle sat in a café, talking about everything. The trip was exhausting.

"They even have their own currency. That's awesome." Smiled Joelle.

"Mhm." Nodded Tom, paging through _A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_ , glancing up at Joelle, then to the book again.

"When is school going to start?" Asked Joelle then.

"First of September. You will come with me to King's Cross station. The train awaits me there." Said Tom while paging through the book a little more furious. "They don't even teach how to..." He murmured inaudibly.

"Are you okay?" Asked Joelle while sipping on a butterbeer, snarling up her nose upon the flavor. "Oh my god this tastes horrible..." She whispered but a witch to her right heard it and just raised an eyebrow, causing Joelle to lower her chin in shame, snickering a little when Tom grinned, shaking his head at her before sighing.

"What's wrong snowman?"

Tom stared at Joelle, making her feel a little insecure.

"Marvolo?" She asked again.

"I want you to come with me." Said Tom colorlessly then but Joelle sighed. "That's not possible."

"Yes it is. It has to be..." He narrowed his eyes at her before flipping through another book again.

He would find a way to take Joelle with him. He had to. There was no discussing about it, not now that he knew Joelle had the same talent he had. Anger swelled up in his chest. She could've had a different life if only her parents had let her.

But it did not matter.

Tom would take care of it now.

 **AN: whoops I'm at the bottom! Did you notice that in the books the first wand Harry Potter tried out was of made of Yew wood, Tom Riddle's match? Of course it did not work for Harry. That's why I made Tom try out Holly, Harry Potter's match, that did not work out for Tom. I just thought it was a funny. Funny? Anyone? Okay...**


	10. A New Beginning

**Chapter 10: A New Beginning**

 _Every parting gives a foretaste of death_ \- Arthur Schopenhauer

Joelle and Tom made their way back to the orphanage a bit later. While Joelle was still beyond amazed, Tom's excitement reduced to as little as zero, something Joelle couldn't understand at all.

"You're not that overly happy, are you?" She had asked before walking back. Tom merely shrugged, saying that it was about time something great happened and that it did not surprise him as much as somebody like Eric would have been surprised.

"Now that you mention it", said Joelle, "I'll check how they're doing, Eric and Billy I mean. Chickenpox hit them hard."

"Stay here" said Tom then, frowning. "Stop breaking the rules now that you think you can!"

"Marvolo", frowned Joelle, "I've spent half of my day with you, and Eric and Billy don't feel good, I just want to check on them to see if they're alright. That's all."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay." Said Tom. "Then I'll allow you to see them. Just see them! Don't go near them, they're all disgusting." He said, snarling up his nose. Joelle chuckled to herself but patted Tom's head before walking off, knocking on Eric's and Billy's door.

"Hey you two."

"Joelle!" Croaked Billy. "Have you had chickenpox already?"

"Yes, dear." She smiled, then frowned at Eric.

"Stop picking them, Eric!" She scolded when he squeezed and scratched on his skin.

"But they itch so much!" He groaned when Martha shoved past Joelle, rolling her eyes while throwing her arms up theatrically.

"Eric! What did I tell you?!" She growled in frustration, walking over to the stained bedsheets to change them.

"Time to go." Said a voice behind Joelle then. She glanced down and sighed at Tom.

"You said you just wanted to see them. You've seen more than enough. Urgh. Come, I don't want you near those..." He wrinkled his nose in disgust looking at the red-dotted boys, starting to pull Joelle away and upstairs, into his room.

"I've been reading a little." Said Tom, sighing. "These books appear to be fairly easy. It's a shame students can't practice while away from school. I would like to try out some things. Maybe I can get an exception if I just show them how ambitious I am..." He murmured under his breath, almost absentmindedly.

"What's on your mind." He then asked Joelle.

"Just listening to what you're saying." She said, then paused. "I'm so proud of you."

Tom glanced at her for a while, his expression not changing the least during the first couple of seconds, but a grin slowly crept up face.

"You are?" He asked. Joelle nodded, though lowering her head the next moment. "I will miss you. You will be gone for almost a year."

"No, not quite." Said Tom. "I can come back during Christmas and I have to for I think more than eight weeks during summer break." He then rolled his eyes. "Which is sad, I thought I'd never have to come back to this place again."

"But then you wouldn't see me anymore" said Joelle softly.

"Wrong." Said Tom. "I told you, you're coming with me. We will leave this world behind. We don't belong here!"

"Marvolo, quit it. I don't even want to come with you, I mean, where am I supposed to stay? In your suitcase?" She chuckled but Tom's eyes widened in a thought and gave him a horrifying look before he cleared his throat, inhaling deeply.

"You're right. How silly of me...I should know you have your own plans. I'm sorry, Joelle. I understand if you don't wish to come with me." He said, taking her hand. "We should spend all the time together that we still have."

Joelle looked into his eyes, sighing with a soft nod. "You're right..." She lowered her head again.

"You will write to me, won't you?" She then asked.

"Everyday." He said without hesitating, causing Joelle to smile again.

"I'm sorry for being so sulky. Your life is going to change and I'm just a miserable dumpling." She chuckled gently and Tom shook his head.

"If there were a man appearing in this orphanage telling you you'd go to a school and would only see me during Christmas and a couple of weeks during summer, I would, by all means, have tried to prevent it." Said Tom dryly. Joelle chuckled and rested her head against the wall, closing her eyes.

"You'll grow up to be a great wizard, I don't doubt it."

"Me neither..." Smirked Tom, staring off into the distance.

And how sure he was. Dumbledore left him the clue to the final missing piece of the puzzle, of course, of course, he has been waiting. Not particularly on a man telling him that he was a wizard, no, Tom Riddle waited for the absolution that assured him his future, that lit up a path towards the ever glowing light in which he was supposed to shine until he became the light himself. He was ready.

Tom Marvolo Riddle was ready.

A few days passed. Joelle lay in her bed, feeling dizzy and horrible. When Tom visited her in the morning, his eyebrows perked up; he has rarely seen her this shade of pale.

"Are you okay?" He asked her, sitting down by the edge of her bed, then stretched out his hand to feel her forehead and frowned a little.

"You have a fever." He said, then grinned, glancing to her legs but Joelle glared, daring him to try. "Don't you."

Tom threw his head back, croaking out a mischievous cackle but then sighed, shaking his head.

"I'm not your level of mean. Those towels were brutal." He murmured, pausing a little. "But you took care of me." He said, glancing at her when Joelle tried to laugh but just coughed instead.

"It's summer! How did you even end up catching a cold? Was it when it rained outside that day Professor Dumbledore came here and you were outside doing the shopping?"

"I think that could be right." Said Joelle, sighing softly. She tried to sit up but Tom pushed her back down.

"Don't move around too much. You'll only feel dizzy." He rolled his eyes as if he was annoyed that he had to even say something this obvious. His lips pursed a little before he smirked.

"You're all helpless." He suddenly stated, causing Joelle to cough during an attempt to chuckle.

"And you find that to be funny?" She asked dryly.

"Hm. I think funny is the wrong word." He rubbed his chin. "I sort of like it" he then murmured.

"Like it? Geez, Marvolo..." Joelle laughed but ended up coughing again, causing Tom to smirk even more as he watched her pale self sinking lower down the bed, curling up due to the weakness. "You should go, I don't want you to catch a cold, too." She said softly.

"I will stay here." He said, getting up to open the window. "The most common mistake is to hide under the blankets in a room without oxygen. But that's just what bacteria want - heat. Fresh air can cause wonders...it's not even magic." He sighed while Joelle smiled proudly at him and Tom couldn't help but to soak it up like a sponge.

"Joelle, I never asked you." He then started while sitting back down. She glanced at him.

"Your mother...How?" He looked at her intensively.

"Cancer." Said Joelle. "She tried to fight it for two years but...you see...at some point, your body will give up. It...wasn't a sudden death, we knew she would go...but one is never ready, no matter how many chances you have to say goodbye..." Joelle gulped, turning her face away. "And then daddy fell for Marianne...Marianne was my mother's best friend, tsk." She shook her head with a bitter smile. "She used to live in Bristol close to us in her youth, that's where my mother met her, then she moved to London and occasionally visited us. She didn't strike me as all too sad seeing her best friend closing her eyes forever."

"If I didn't know that cancer is a natural cause, I would think she planned your mother's death" said Tom, then asked

"do you know anything about John's father?"

"He left Marianne when she was pregnant, I think. I don't know, I didn't try all too hard to get to know her. I mean...I wasn't impolite. I just wasn't there. They didn't miss me much so it was a win-win for all of us. Aside from John, of course." Joelle glanced to the side, coughing a little.

"Where were you, then? Where have you gone? Whom did you visit?" Tom asked almost a tad too eagerly.

"Friends." Said Joelle.

"Who are they? Where do they live?" Tom asked again. Joelle chuckled.

"In Bristol." She said.

"So you can't actually just hop there and meet them...good..." Murmured Tom to himself, then back up to her. "So. You're also visiting the friends you have here, don't you?" He asked.

"Of course." Smiled Joelle, not yet understanding where he aimed at.

"Tell me their names." Said Tom. Joelle raised an eyebrow.

"Why does that matter?" She asked.

"I want to know where you're going." Said Tom with a simple shrug. "You know I will find out anyway, let's make it quicker this time, shall we?"

"Marvolo. Enough." Said Joelle, coughing. She did not sound as strict as usual, then again, she was probably too weak for that.

"Do you have any male friends?" Asked Tom, still fixing her with his eyes. Joelle inhaled deeply as if to indicate some level of annoyance before she answered.

"Again, why does it matter?" She asked.

"I don't want you to meet any men." Shrugged Tom, causing Joelle to laugh as much as it was possible before her throat paid her back.

"You know, you can't control that once you're not here anymore." She croaked in amusement but Tom narrowed his eyes.

"Is that your belief, yes?" He asked. Joelle nodded with a grin that Tom would've loved to slap off of her all too happily, but he just glanced away. Why getting worked up over a case that is never going to happen anyway?

"So. I know your school schedule. Your Monday's consisted of six hours, Tuesday eight, Wednesday eight, Thursday six and Friday six. I thought it was quite strange that even though you could be home much earlier, you sometimes happened to be here three hours after your scheduled time. Now, forgive me Joelle, I know you're quite slow when it comes to walking...but not even a slug would need three hours after school to come here." He stared at her. "So I tell myself that Joelle must have met some of those friends after school. Is that true?"

"Yes." Said Joelle with a raised brow.

"And even though you're on summer break...you still see them at the exact same time." Said Tom, fixing her with his eyes still.

"Y-yes, sometimes?" Said Joelle insecurely, frowning now. "What is it you're-"

"You think I didn't notice, right?" Asked Tom, chuckling bitterly.

"What do you mean?" Asked Joelle.

Tom frowned, sighing. "Are all of your friends doctors?" He asked her then. Joelle said nothing, instead, she looked away.

"You didn't see friends after school. You're visiting one of those...those whatever people that look into your mind!" Tom frowned. "But...Why?!"

Joelle shook her head. "It was suggested to me after the trial...and I wanted to give it a chance, I just needed someone professional to talk to after the things with John, dear. That's all."

"You can talk to me!" Hissed Tom, glaring. "I don't want you to see that Doctor anymore. Whoever it is, he can't help you." He frowned.

"Marvolo, you don't understand. Just let that be my-"

"I don't understand?! Stop treating me like a child!" He hissed yet again.

"No, you stop treating me like a child." Said Joelle softly, but firmly. "I will go see that "Doctor" as long as I deem it necessary. I hope I have made myself clear."

Tom glared at her, his nostrils started to flare again. He felt the heat rising in his chest, the anger growing in his stomach but he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes; he couldn't lose it now, not now that he could be expelled from school. He stared at her for a little longer, wanting to get out of the room, but decided against it. He couldn't help but notice something.

"How did John even get a headstrong person like you to obey?" Tom asked. Joelle raised an eyebrow.

"He knew how to talk" she sighed, turning her face away. "Don't forget what I said about words."

"I won't forget." Said Tom, mentally making a note of trying to understand what exactly it was that gave John so much power over Joelle.

"I've been talking about me so much. It makes me feel uncomfortable to speak about these things to you. Maybe we don't want to mention it again. You must have your own sad story." She said gently.

"I'm sure your aunt told you everything about my family." Said Tom then. Joelle shook her head. "She wanted to, but I refused. I never wanted to take away your decision of telling me yourself."

Tom glanced at her, he couldn't help but frown in some sort of surprise. "You decided to wait until I would personally tell you?" He asked. Joelle smiled and nodded.

"If you want to tell me you know I'll listen."

"I know", said Tom, "I just don't know much myself. All I know is that my mother died after giving birth to me. I don't know anything about my father other than his name being Tom Riddle, too. I don't know if he's still alive. I tried finding out but I didn't get far. Now that I know what I am...I believe he could be a wizard. Maybe that's why I never found out."

Joelle nodded. "That actually makes a lot of sense. I'm sure you will find out the truth. But Marvolo...please know that not all truths are convenient. I just don't want you to get hurt. Because that would hurt me, too."

"It would hurt you if I got hurt?" He asked. Joelle nodded.

"Of course." She said, closing her eyes.

"I feel different about that. I'm not...hurt when you get hurt, but it angers me, infuriates me. I feel like nobody is allowed to hurt you but me." He murmured. Joelle chuckled in a cough.

"So you're allowed to hurt me?" She asked amused. Tom nodded.

"Of course I am. How else are you supposed to learn?" He asked, raising an eyebrow as if that reason was the most logical.

"Then why aren't others allowed to make me learn?" Asked Joelle.

"Because I say so." Grumbled Tom. "I've already claimed you. I'll teach you everything. They have to look for somebody else." He shrugged; Joelle laughed again, this time she wasn't interrupted by a cough but her voice sounded oddly raspy and squeaky due to the dryness.

"You're just so cute, Marvolo." Chuckled Joelle, and again Tom had to be confronted with the fact that she did not take it seriously. To her, he was just an eleven year old, despite all his attempts to make her see that he was about as much of a child as she was. Maybe he was even less than her, too.

"You know...I know you don't like the concept of friendship. But you've even done more for me than anyone of my family." Joelle chuckled.

"Don't be so sentimental, Joelle." Sighed Tom, but a grin crept up his lips.

From this day forth, Tom Riddle and Joelle Cole did not spend more than an hour without the other. What turbulent times lay behind them, but little did they know what awaited them in the future.

Very, very little did they know.

And then the day had to come. Joelle was oddly quiet on the first of September, her mouth did not twitch up for the slightest of smiles around anyone; but as soon as Tom looked her way, she forced herself to be happy. She helped him packing everything the other day and Tom was sure that he caught her turning away every so often to wipe away something from her face, but she did not mention anything as soon as he tried to see through her.

The morning was pleasant. Tom had to get up earlier than anyone and when he had walked downstairs into the kitchen, Joelle was already there, preparing food for him. She had somewhen gotten behind the fact that he liked waffles quite a lot; at least he always ate more of them than of anything else, and Tom really was a bad eater. So when he had stepped into the kitchen, he could again see her wrist wiping along her eyes but she smiled as soon as she noticed him.

"Good morning!" She cheered and put down the plate in front of Tom, whose eyes lit up the tiniest of bits upon the view.

"How long have you been up?" He asked when Joelle sat down and shrugged.

"Aren't you eating anything?" He asked along. Joelle shook her head. "No, I'm not too hungry." She smiled and sighed, ruffling through his hair.

"Your bangs are all messy, Marvolo. You should comb your hair again before we leave." She snickered when Tom merely huffed and shoved some bits of the waffle into his mouth.

"By the way." She then smiled. "You know Bryan got his driving license a while ago. He will drive us to King's Cross. Ellie is the one to have a cold now. It really went through the orphanage."

Tom stared at Joelle with the least bit of amusement he could manage, even his chewing slowed down at once.

"I don't want him with us!" He hissed, glaring.

"But Marvolo, he will wait in the car, I will come with you and stay with you until the very end." She smiled. Tom's narrowed eyes softened a little and he gave it some thoughts. Fine, why not, Bryan was enough to be used as a mean of transport. As long as he wouldn't stand next to Joelle, probably having his arm wrapped around her shoulder while she'd wave with a white handkerchief - no. That would be too much of a nightmare.

He wanted Joelle to be the last thing he sees.

"Okay, so repeat what I've been telling you, Joelle." Said Tom, helping himself to another waffle.

"I'll write to you everyday to tell you about what I've been doing." She chuckled. "And you told me to remember that you will trace the letter for any lies, believing there's a spell to make it visible."

"There surely is!" Grumbled Tom.

"Right." Sighed Joelle.

"Go on, go on." Urged Tom.

"I'm not allowed to move out of the orphanage. Not meeting any men." She chuckled at that, as if she found the whole concept silly and just repeated it for his satisfaction and her amusement.

"Good." Said Tom with a nod of approval. "It won't be so long, Joelle. I'll see you during Christmas. I'll come here. Even though I know I could sign up to stay there...I will come here for you. So I expect you to be here then." He frowned, as if daring her to be elsewhere.

"We've gone through this so many times." Sighed Joelle. "I'll be here, of course I will."

Tom looked at her, but his expression did not change. He seemed even sterner than before, the scowl on his face did not soften. Quite in fact, anger welled up in his chest. What if Joelle found somebody she oh so loved and would spend her Christmas with them? It wasn't an unlikely event.

Tom and Joelle have often gone to the pool to swim during summer; she could barely exchange a sentence with Tom each time she tried, for how many guys have wanted to win over her attention. And with the cheesiest of things, too. One plucked flowers from the grass, handing them over, another one bought ice cream for them, another one offered to rub the sun blocked on her back. Joelle merely ignored them, she probably forgot, but Tom remembers. One of them had come up to Joelle and simply embraced her out of nowhere, saying he had never seen something so beautiful and that it was love at first sight. What a complete pile of bullshit. Love. _Love at first sight._

"Three months..." Murmured Tom absentmindedly, but Joelle did not understand.

"Pardon?" She asked, but Tom merely shook his head.

"Are we ready to go?" He asked. Joelle nodded, checking the time, then smiled when her aunt walked downstairs, wrapping the dressing gown around her slim body with a yawn.

"I thought I had overslept." She smiled, then turned her face away while coughing into her fist.

"We are just waiting on Bryan. He will be here soon." Smiled Joelle while Tom finished eating. Mrs. Cole nodded gently, then glanced over to the door when it rang; opening it. Bryan walked in, tossing his hand up at everyone with that ever so disgusting smile that Tom despised so much.

"Well then..." Sighed Mrs. Cole, clearing her throat when Tom had gotten up. The both of them kind of glanced at each other awkwardly - what should the both of them say after a long time of mutual avoidance?

"Err. Well, Tom, I...wish you all the best at school. Be a good boy and erm... see you during Christmas, hmm?" She smiled gently and Tom nodded, however, he did not pay her a single glance. His eyes rested on Bryan and Joelle, observing their body language towards each other, but found nothing suspicious.

"Alright then. Let's go, shall we? When is the train going to leave?" Asked Bryan.

"Eleven." Said Joelle. "But we should be going, just in case." She added and Tom nodded, walking over to his suitcase, picking it up. Mrs. Cole watched from the window, exhaling deeply, her face lit up significantly as the car drove off. Relieved at last.

"What kind of school is that again?" Asked Bryan, glancing into the mirror to look at Tom, but Tom did not feel obliged to answer. His eyes merely followed the scenery as they drove by.

"A school for gifted children." Smiled Joelle and Bryan nodded, seeming to understand but of course he understood nothing at all. They pulled over to King's Cross. "Okay then. I will wait here." He said.

Was this really how it should end? The time seemed to stop when they sat in the car for about a minute without saying a single word, but Joelle then got out with Tom following.

"What kind of track is that supposed to be?" She frowned at Tom's ticket. "9 3/4? Like what?"

"There." Said Tom, pointing ahead to a boy with a caged owl that vanished into a wall. Joelle blinked but then smiled.

"Together?" She asked and Tom nodded. They linked their arms and together they ran through the wall - but poor Joelle accidentally crashed into a young wizard about her age wanting to hiss at her; until his scowl turned into a soft grin.

"I'm sorry!" Yelped Joelle, but he shook his head.

"Don't worry. Are you okay?" He asked, glancing at Tom who observed him closely. A tall young man, maybe eighteen, with dark brown hair, light eyes and a healthy tan. He was wearing a green and silver striped tie and an emblem on his dark cloak that was embellished with an embroidered serpent.

"Oh yes." Smiled Joelle, rubbing Tom's shoulder - but Tom's eyes widened when his eyes drifted off to the left - there it was, glowing in its steely red glory. The Hogwarts Express. A swift glance up to the clock told him that even though they still had plenty of time the place was rather crowded.

"Is that your brother?" Asked the man again. Joelle chuckled softly, her hand still on Tom's shoulder.

"He as good as is." She smiled. Tom glanced at her then, raising an eyebrow at the man who offered out his hand to Joelle. And of course Joelle shook it at once. _Infuriating_.

"Excuse my manners. My name is Sylus Farley."

 _Farley_. What a stupid name.

"And I'm Joelle."

You're **my** Joelle.

"So, Joelle, this is the first year for him, hm?" Sylus smiled and offered his hand out to Tom. Tom merely stared into his eyes, not all too impressed, especially seeing Sylus's toothy and smug grin, but what especially got Tom to glare was how Joelle shifted from one leg to the other, but not in discomfort.

"Well, Sylus, you may want to keep an eye on Marvolo here. He's very excited."

"Not nearly as excited as you." Murmured Tom, glaring up to her a little and Sylus chuckled.

"Don't worry. I'm headboy and prefect of Slytherin. He will be under the best care."

"Slytherin?" Asked Joelle, tucking some hair behind her ear. Sylus raised an eyebrow, then straightened his back.

"You...are not a witch?" He asked, some distance was audible in his voice.

"I..."

"She is." Said Tom firmly, trying to pull Joelle away but she did not seem to notice his attempts.

"Oh. Then I take it you have merely received your education elsewhere." Sylus smiled.

"One could say that, yes." Said Joelle then.

"Well, Miss Joelle. It was my pleasure to meet you." Said Sylus gently, taking Joelle's hand, brushing it with his lips as he stared into her eyes. Tom almost exploded.

"I hope we shall meet again." Sylus said softly. Joelle smiled back, a slight blush started to show on her cheeks when Sylus stepped backwards and winked at Tom. "I hope to see you in my house, boy."

"I hope, too." Whispered Tom in a glare, still looking up to Joelle - who seemed absolutely amazed by the appearance of Sylus. Tom felt challenged. He could be so much better than that.

He was so much better than that.

"Marvolo, it's almost time to board the train..." Sighed Joelle when they walked closer. Tom nodded, having his arms crossed, still fairly agitated over Sylus, but steadily calmed down while Joelle rubbed his shoulder up and down, then suddenly pulled him into a tight hug. Tom frowned, his arms uncrossed and he glanced up to the clock, then down to her.

"Joelle..." He said gently. And something in him did not want her to stop, did not want her to let him go. His eyes widened, his hand went to his pocket, pulling out his wand, he aimed it at her, thinking, thinking so hard, hoping, hoping so hard, trying, trying so hard to make magic find a way to get her to come with him - but it did not work. His heart speeded up, another glimpse up to the clock told him that it was time to go. His arms embraced her at last, he hugged her back and sighed when she let go, her face stained with tears.

"Promise me, Marvolo. Promise me you won't give up."

"I won't." He said gently, closing his eyes when Joelle kissed his forehead.

"I'll come back, Joelle. I will learn loads. For the both of us. This is not goodbye because I will be back before you can miss me." He said. Joelle wiped away some tears, then nodded with a smile.

"You almost forgot this." She said gently, pulling out something from her bag. Tom frowned widely when he saw it; the black piece of fabric. Joelle's scarf.

"I've been looking everywhere, I couldn't find it!" Groaned Tom, but Joelle snickered. "I sneaked it out of your room. I think it needed a little spotlight again." She then wrapped the scarf around Tom.

"Take care. We will build another snowman when you come back." She said. Tom looked at her, nodding - and for the first time, the slightest of sincere smiles was blown on his face.

"We will, Joelle." He said, stepping backwards upon a loud whistle of the train. And then he was gone.


	11. At Hogwarts

**Chapter 11: At Hogwarts**

 _I've always believed you can get closer to the truth by pretending not to speak it -_ Armistead Maupin

Tom sat in front of the window, watching Joelle how she looked for his face somewhere. It wasn't until he pushed down the window that Joelle saw him - and that's when the train started already.

"See you, snowman!" Smiled Joelle, wiping away a tear. Tom waved at her and watched her for as long as the view allowed him to see, then pulled his head back into the warmth. A horrible feeling of emptiness invaded his body without asking for permission, it inflamed him, stung like a sunburn on a hot day, his stomach started to knot up - it scared Tom, this feeling of vulnerability, of weakness. A thought hit him at once. She would see Bryan now. Sit next to Bryan in the car. She sat back with Tom when they had driven to King's Cross - but now she would definitely sit on the passenger seat next to Bryan. Tom's heart pondered against his chest, his fists clenched together firmly, lips thinned. He was here and could do nothing about it. Three months. _Three months._

"Hey. Can we sit with you?" Asked a voice suddenly. Tom glanced over to a dark haired boy walking in followed by another blond male. Tom merely shrugged, pulling out a book to start reading.

"My name is Decrux Lestrange." Said the dark haired boy. "And this is Tiberius Avery."

"Hi." Said Tom dryly, not even looking up.

"And who are you?" Asked Decrux. Tom closed the book, looking into Lestrange's dark eyes. "You will find out soon enough."

He murmured.

Avery and Lestrange glanced at each other, then smirked.

"Are you somebody important?" Asked Lestrange. Tom's eyebrow raised as a slight grin crept up his lips.

"We will see." He said, much to Avery's excitement. None of them could deny it, this boy here had an aura of utmost mysteriousness and elegant authority.

"Do you already know which house you wanna be in?" Asked Decrux. Tom nodded. "Yes." He said, raising an eyebrow, hoping to find out more about the other _houses_ **.** What exactly did it mean? How many houses are there? What do they do?

"Most of our family members have been in Slytherin, so we will try to get in there, too." Said Lestrange.

Tom frowned. So Slytherin seems to be popular. He did not really know if he truly wanted to be in a house that ran on popularity - but then again, remembering Sylus and Joelle, he really felt like he needed to be there. Just to be better than him.

"Hello dears. Would you like to have something to eat?" Asked a young woman behind a trolley full of food. Avery and Lestrange glanced at each other, then shrugged, getting up from their seats to pick out something that they paid for with heaps of coins. Tom watched them coming back with strange beans and other things he had never seen before.

"Want some?" Asked Avery, sitting back down. Tom shook his head.

"I don't care much for sweets." He said truthfully before his eyes wandered out of the window again. They were on top of a high bridge, the large sea glistened below them. He couldn't help but grin to himself; Joelle would have freaked out at the view.

"Look at this, look at this, Marvolo! Isn't it beautiful?! Oh where's my camera, did you see my camera?" She would have squeaked. And like so often, Tom would shake his head, saying he did not know where her camera was. And like so often, Joelle would have sighed but waved it off, like so often, she would have simply watched everything with her ever so curious eyes - and Tom would have sighed to himself, just like every so often.

Time passed with its nagging foible of wearing out the victims - even Tom fell under its wing of furtive terror and was only released as soon as they got out of the train. Tom glanced around at everyone. So these people had the same talent? They did not look special at all. One could have thrusted Amy or Billy in here, the difference could not be told. How great it was then that they all had to wear their dark cloaks, uniformed and united all the same until the differences were clear. Tom did not have to wait until then. To him, it was already obvious that none of them played in his league of success.

"First years to me." Said a voice. Tom glanced up to see Sylus again, snarling up his nose, but he walked over to him nonetheless with Lestrange and Avery standing next to him, but Tom couldn't have cared less. He did not come to Hogwarts to make friends.

"We will get into boats now. It's a tradition for Hogwarts first years to reach the castle that way." Said Sylus, standing next to a plump girl with a blue tie, she looked simply ridiculous next to the arrogant good features of Sylus. They marched off.

"Look!" Said Lestrange excitedly, pointing ahead to the boats in the water. They got in one by one and the boats suddenly started to move on their own accord - Tom's eyes widened as he watched how they magically swum across the lake, raising an eyebrow at Avery leaning over the boat, pale faced even in the darkness, he was obviously nauseated. It did not take an awful long time, but there in the distance, in the foggy air, they could see the towering immense castle. Hogwarts. It was gigantic.

This day was historical for Tom Riddle.

* * *

 _"Dear Joelle,_

 _I am writing this the very evening of my arrival, I hope the owl finds you as fast as possible. You couldn't believe it until you've seen it yourself, the castle would surely make you scream, it is huge. I somewhen found out that there are four houses in Hogwarts, each dedicated to the specific traits that the four founders of Hogwarts appreciated in their students. I was sorted into Slytherin, the name is not new to you as you have heard Sylus talking about it. The sorting ceremony was up first before we could eat, and it was strange. A hat sorts each student into a house, yes, a hat that can speak and look into somebody's mind. So when it sat on my head, it turned oddly quiet, it said nothing for a whole three minutes or so. After some time it then stated that it has rarely seen a mind like mine, it said that I will go far and that there's only one place for me to be; and that was in Slytherin, the house of the cunning and ambitious. Now I must say that I've already seen a lot of people in this house that don't strike me as anything special at all. I wish I knew which house you would have been sorted into, Joelle. Our common room is down in the dungeons, everything is decorated in green and silver and Slytherin's emblem, which is a green snake. I do like snakes. I believe it would scare you, though. I know you like your freedom, but here you'd probably feel a little locked up. Taking a look out of the windows means staring right into the green underwater scenery - our common room is far under the lake. School is going to start tomorrow already, I confess myself quite excited. I doubt these lessons here will be as boring as school in the 'muggle world'; muggles are non-magical people, a term Lestrange taught me (he was sorted into Slytherin as well). What have you been doing after the train left? Tell me everything. I expect a response from you soon. Take care. And keep the rules in mind,_

 _Marvolo."_

* * *

 _Dear Marvolo,_

 _I was most excited to see that an owl actually brought the letter, I began to panic a little, not knowing how to write to you, I somehow forgot to ask you, so you can imagine my face when an owl was sitting on my window sill the next morning, hooting me awake. I'm so happy for you, even though I had somewhat of a crying fit after I returned to the orphanage, but I'm mostly just happy. And oh my god, an underwater-common room, really? That sounds awesome! But you're right, it's also scary. I'd probably panic about the windows breaking and me drowning in the middle of the night. If it's possible, it can happen. Did I scare you? Haha. Do you feel well in Slytherin? It's funny that you mention you like snakes, I was sure I had seen a snake at the countryside, I even had a dream about you talking to a snake. How silly. Or maybe it meant something - after all, you ended up in that house, did you not? I guess we will never know. As I'm writing this, your first lesson has probably already started, you should totally tell me about your first day at school! By the end of the week you may even already have a favorite subject - let me know. Well, what can I say? I've been doing nothing, actually. At least nothing exciting, I've been helping Martha with Eric and Billy. Did I ever mention to you that I don't like Martha that much? (To my defense, she's not fond of me either). She's always so stressed, I don't see why she's even working at the orphanage, she doesn't seem to like children that much. Sigh. I do miss you already. And please let the owl rest before you send your next letter - or take another owl. Take care._

 _Joelle_

 _PS: You have the most beautiful handwriting ever._

* * *

 _Dear Joelle,_

 _The owl reached me in the afternoon, and okay, I will let another owl send the next letter. I don't know where to start. We had our flying lesson up first today - I don't know how I feel about that. I like the fact that we can fly, but flying on a broomstick is most definitely not my definition of elegance. It looks plump...and girls on a broomstick look downright vulgar. I would not want you to sit on a stick flying through the air. I will try my best to find a substitution for broomsticks. It must be possible somehow. If a broomstick can fly then I can, too. Joelle, I had asked you not to be around Eric and Billy, there is nothing you can do for them. Just let them be. (I mean it). Did you spend the rest of the day with Bryan? I don't like how you did not answer me properly, I'm still as clueless as before. I, however, am sorry to hear that you cried because of me, but I now know that I can return to you the 23rd of December. That's a Friday. My first day at school was very promising. I've had Transfiguration with Professor Dumbledore after Flying, it was interesting...but Dumbledore knows how to observe closely...You probably don't know about all the subjects taught here. There is Transfiguration, Potions (didn't have that yet), History of Magic (very interesting so far), Charms (didn't have that yet), Flying (urgh), Herbology (didn't have that yet), Defense Against the Dark Arts (I'll have that on Monday, can't wait...) and Astronomy (which I also didn't have today). I wish you were here to experience all of this with me,_

 _Marvolo._

 _PS: Your handwriting could need some improvement._

* * *

 _Dear Marvolo, who definitely needs some spanking for all the cheekiness,_

 _I had to laugh so hard when you wrote that part about flying, I couldn't breathe, you almost killed me! And yes, I did spend the rest of the day with Bryan, I couldn't just send him away after driving us to King's Cross, could I? So we actually stopped by a restaurant to eat something and then just spent the evening together. (Not in the way you might think, I'm not like that...). I'm glad to hear that Dumbledore teaches you, you have to admit that he is a wise man. The most interesting thing of today must be the return of Amy and Dennis. It's very sad, they still do not talk to me at all nor to anyone else for that matter. I wish I knew what they had to go through in that cave, their faces are marked with constant alert and panic. The doctors could not find out either, they haven't talked much, Ellie said that they couldn't get anything out of them. I don't mean to make you sad, though, I mean you have grown up with them, surely you somewhat wonder and care, don't you? Take care and have fun with your other classes,_

 _Joelle_

* * *

 _Joelle,_

 _I believe it's YOU who needs some spanking instead. I don't exactly see why you couldn't have just sent Bryan away, his service was done, you didn't need him any longer. This shows me that you do not mind the rules! I must admit that I'm disappointed. And to be honest, I'm too angry now to continue writing this letter. Enjoy your time with Bryan!_

 _Marvolo_

* * *

Joelle!

It's Wednesday evening (!) and you did not yet write back to me! I'm sure you and Bryan are having a GREAT time, right?! I WANT you to wri

Joelle,

Why did you not write back yet?! It's Wednesday evening! The owl is fine! Are you too busy with Bryan? Are you ha

 _Dear Joelle,_

 _It's Wednesday evening and I haven't received a letter from you yet, which makes me beyond sad. I have to give you credit, though. It's quite clever to punish me by not writing back. After all, I can't really change it, can I? I just miss you...maybe I wanted too much. But you have to understand that I, as an orphan, have never had anyone...please answer me._

 _Marvolo_

* * *

 _Dear Marvolo,_

 _I'm very sorry! I should not have been so selfish, I should have known why you're acting like this...that was very stupid of me. Bryan, however, is my friend. Do you think you can just try to accept this under the condition that I promise that it won't change anything? I miss you a lot, snowman. Take care! And wear the scarf, it's already cold outside!_

 _Joelle_

 **AN: Oh I liked this chapter. I found it quite exciting to let the plot continue just through the letters and abandon the narrator's voice for once. Don't worry, there will be enough narrated "realtime" action coming again.**


	12. Plan

**Chapter 12: Plan**

 _Beware the fury of a patient man_ \- John Dryden

As Tom held the letter in his hands, a slight smirk crept up his lips. Taking a glimpse at the single characters, he could see that they were a little smeared and the paper was wrinkly at those spots; Joelle must have been crying while writing this, she surely felt deeply sorry for Tom, maybe even pitied him, hated herself for ignoring him. Oh Joelle. It was too easy.

Then a thought hit Tom. She was asking him to be okay with Bryan? His face darkened. Maybe it wasn't so easy in the end.

"Hey Tom." Smiled a girl. She was the most annoying person Tom has met up to date; a short blonde about his age, giggling all the time whenever he passed by somewhere. She reminded him of Amy. And anything close to Amy deserved to be ignored. Surely he somewhat cared, Joelle said. Hilarious. Tom sighed, sitting down on the couch in the common room, his eyes wandering out of the window for a moment.

"Ah, here you are." Said Black. A tall dark haired boy, accompanied by Avery and Lestrange. There were also Nott, Rosier and Mulciber belonging to this group - and for some strange reason they have made Tom to be the leader. Not that Tom minded it, quite in fact, it automatically came along with his quiet but severe nature. Tom was sure that this would prove to be beneficial in the future.

"Did you finish the essay for Transfiguration?" Asked Black. Tom nodded, still staring out of the window with his eyes narrowing steadily in concentration, watching some creatures swimming by.

"Who exactly is Sylus." He then asked in a demanding tone; he could not be sure that the others knew, but he simply expected them to know.

"The Farleys are a pureblood family." Shrugged Nott. "According to my father at least."

Tom has run across the term pureblood on his very first day at Hogwarts. It was a fairly easy concept. A pureblood was a person with magical parents; someone like Black, who comes from a family with an ancient pureblood tradition. A halfblood was then a person with at least one magical parent, someone like Avery - and the other term...

"As long as he isn't a filthy mudblood." Laughed Black, causing Tom to narrow his eyes.

"Shut up," Tom hissed agitatedly. _Joelle_.

After glancing to the left and right in insecurity, Black cleared his throat, his laughing died out on an instant; he seemed a little nervous now.

"You don't think...mudbloods are okay, do you?" Asked Lestrange cautiously. Tom fixed him with his eyes.

"The term is so awful that I don't even want to think about it." He murmured dangerously; receiving nods and grinning of agreement from the other boys.

"You must come from a pureblood family. You are so talented! All the classes we have had so far, you already knew everything." Said Nott, his voice filled with awe.

Tom rolled his eyes. He read the books. If that's all it takes to come from a pureblood family then there was no blood purer than his; for he almost swallowed each word after returning from Diagon Alley that day. Joelle was with him; they read the books together. And Joelle was far from being a pureblood in the traditional sense of the word. And Tom? Tom did not know what exactly his blood status was. He had to find out about his parents first. His eyes narrowed again as he glanced at Black. Somebody like him grew up with magic - could he have an advantage? No. Tom would never allow this to be the case.

A couple of days passed and the first thing that Tom noticed was that he felt something he has never felt before. It was a strange feeling of warmth that spread in his body whenever he lay in bed, thinking of the day, looking around the dark room, taking in the scent of the food the next morning, the clothes he was wearing, the books he read, the people he talked to. It took him a long time to realize what it was - and strangely, everything felt like Joelle. He could not wrap his mind around it; how can something feel like a person? It wasn't anything he could describe, even if his life depended on it. It was just strange, so strange. Was this how somebody felt when they thought of home?

Before Tom knew it, September was gone and would never come back.

 _Dear Joelle,_

 _It's the first of October and I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I hope you're doing well. It's Saturday - you surely must have something planned, right? Let me know how your day was and what you've been doing,_

 _Marvolo_

Tom growled a little when he watched the owl flying away. He hated the fact that her birthday fell on a Saturday - a Saturday meant a chance for Joelle to celebrate the day in a way he surely would not approve of; containing meeting a lot of friends in the evening - and those friends always come with other males, and men bring alcohol. It was a societal law that nobody could deny. But Joelle, his Joelle, was not like that, Tom knew it. She had always despised alcohol, saying it didn't taste good and thus wouldn't fall under the curse of weird behavior. Tom trusted Joelle - but he did not trust anyone around her. Soon.  
Soon.

After some time there was one thing that Tom Riddle could not help but feel. And how much he hated to admit it, that one thing that he thought would change. The first couple of weeks were exciting for him, but there it was again, that creeping sensation of dullness and boredom taking over his senses, blinding him. All that mattered was to be the best - because he was. But he was goalless. No. He had one goal. Soon.

Appreciation was a state left for those that have not seen through how the world works. Things were so simple, a lot easier than that - was not taking whatever Tom pleased just how he could make it work? By the end of November, Tom Riddle was one of the most ambitious students Hogwarts has ever seen, the sorting hat did well in determining his true nature. But Tom had to redirect the anger he felt in his body, a type of anger he could not very well explain how it emerged. Hogwarts did not yet feel like it truly was his home.  
Tom's heart pondered faster each time Joelle sent back a letter. There was a nauseating twitch in his stomach every morning during breakfast, hoping she had written back. The fear of not being able to control her response remained present ever since their first argument over Bryan - it did not leave Tom. Quite in fact, it became painful. Yes, Tom felt sick just thinking of not receiving a letter in the mornings anymore.

December was heartless. Cold and heartless. Not because of the weather and snow - December was luring and inevitable - it taught Tom much more than he wanted to be taught. It taught him patience. The closer he got to the day of meeting Joelle again, the longer it seemed to take to get there. Where September passed within hours, December required years.  
Tom had his things packed for almost a week, did not talk to anyone for a while. The Blacks noticed that Tom was oddly staring out of the windows for a long time and paid extra attention during Dumbledore's class - it was almost as if he was hiding something. None of them ever dared to ask Tom, they have soon noticed that strange things happened whenever he was angered or provoked.

And then Friday came. Friday, the 23rd of December 1938.

Wool's orphanage looked the same as always. Thick snow was spread across the yard and the building; even more of the flakes rained down in London that night of Tom's arrival. He had not said a word to anyone and did not respond to Joelle's letter when she asked where and when he wanted to be picked up. Surely poor Joelle thought he did not want to come.

"Ellie! The cookies didn't survive, I'm sorry!" It squeaked from the kitchen.  
Joelle.

Joelle bent over to the oven to get out the charcoal colored cookies that left a stinging scent in the air and hissed upon burning herself on the hot metal, pulling her index finger away to inspect it curiously.

"Clumsy as always" said a voice. Joelle let the cookies drop on an instant, she whirled around with widened eyes and a mouth gapping open in surprise when she saw who was leaning against the doorframe all too cooly.

"Marvolo!" She squeaked in a high pitched voice and instantly ran over to Tom, pulling him against her chest, hugging him so incredibly tight that he felt like she tried to squeeze the daylight out of him. But what was that? Tears?

"Joelle..." Tom said softly. "Don't cry" he murmured, but couldn't help a small grin creeping up his lips. _Cry all you want over me._

"Why didn't you tell me! We would've picked you up - how did you even get here?!" Frowned Joelle, ripping herself away from Tom to look into his eyes, observing his face, checking if everything was in place. Tom shook his head with that faint grin.

"I took the bus. I wanted to surprise you" he spoke gently, chuckling when Joelle merely hugged him again and kissed the top of his head a dozen of times.

"I missed you so much, snowman" she whispered gently, tucking on Tom's clothes, dusting him off, making sure he was perfectly alright. The irony was almost hilarious when he glanced over to the burnt cookies.

"Come, Joelle. We need to catch up a little." Said Tom, grabbing her hand to walk upstairs, ignoring the gasping of the other children once they spotted him. Tom walked inside his room, smirking as he looked around.

"You moved." He said in surprise. Joelle chuckled and sat down.

"Eric and Billy should have their own rooms and so I moved here. It's all yours, of course. But while nobody used it..." she shrugged. Tom looked at her, then around the room again. It was covered in pictures - Joelle loved photographs and it was almost needless to say that there were a bunch of them everywhere, even some of the both of them.

"You should have moved in earlier. When I was still here." Said Tom then, causing Joelle's smile to turn upside down, confronted with the fact that Tom was no longer a true part of this orphanage anymore.

"Don't be sad, Joelle. I'm allowed to stay here for two weeks." Said Tom gently.

"Two weeks?! That's awesome!" Squeaked Joelle in joy, then sat closer to Tom.

"Tell me everything about Hogwarts! How do you like it?" She spluttered out, her eyes lit up with her typical way of making somebody think that her attention was unshared and would only belong to them - Joelle could look at someone and give them the feeling that they were the only thing that mattered in the world. She usually reserved this expression for Tom only - or at least he liked to believe this to be the case.

"Oh come on, I've been telling you everything about Hogwarts and the classes in the letters" He sighed, shaking his head. "No, I want to know exactly how you spent your time." He raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't I tell you in the letters?" Grinned Joelle, chuckling when Tom pushed her head away gently.

"Clumsy as always. Cheeky as always." Sighed Tom, resting back against the wall while he observed her closely. Nothing changed. Joelle looked the same, acted the same, smelled the same. She was still Joelle, despite his absence. She was still Joelle.  
His Joelle.

"Can you believe it's been exactly a year since the incident with John?" He suddenly asked. Joelle frowned, then nodded.

"You're right. A year. It feels like it's been yesterday. What did we even do during spring and summer? Or autumn? It's like everything just happened in winter" she smiled, shaking her head. Tom looked at her; a slight frown spread across his face. He remembered every single day with Joelle, but of course, the most intense time was shared during the cold days. Joelle smiled when she saw Tom's face concentrating on some thoughts, she tucked on his scarf.

"I'm glad to see you're wearing it" she said softly, ruffling through his hair. Tom looked up to her - she was the only one allowed to touch him, yet she was probably quite unaware of that privilege.

"Of course I'm wearing it" murmured Tom. "I lost us five housepoints because I chose this scarf over our Slytherin ones. They're quite strict when it comes to the uniform attire." Murmured Tom, sighing a bit when Joelle laughed, probably imagining his face that day. He shook his head and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of her voice - but his eyes shot up again when Joelle pulled him into a tight hug once more. She was always such a warm and physical person, inviting to get hurt.

"The rules..." Tom then whispered. Joelle let go, frowning while tilting her head to the side in disbelief.

"Ah, come on! You're not even here for half an hour and you're already all about the rules." She shook her head at him, but of course she wasn't exactly angered.

"Is that the scent of a bad conscience?" Asked Tom with a grin, his hypnotizing eyes fixed on her.

"Bad pff, no. I've been a good girl." She chuckled when Tom huffed.

"Can you prove that you were?" He asked.

"Can you prove that I wasn't?" She asked back. They stared at each other for a while - they always did so when they had a semi-discussion and tried to be serious afterwards, looking into each other's faces to check who of them would chuckle or grin first; needless to say that it usually was Joelle whose facial expression contorted in painful attempts to suppress the amusement. And so she lost this time as well.

"I caught you" said Tom, leaning back yet again while listening to Joelle laughing out loud.

"No, that's not fair, you know I always laugh when you stare at me like that. How can you not even grin?" She shook her head, sighing, chuckling again. Joelle was in such a good mood, Tom felt light around her. Most of the girls were enormously annoying with all their giggles and squeaks - but it did not bother Tom at all with Joelle because he was very well aware where her good mood came from; she was happy to see him again after such a long time. He was the reason. He alone. How could he be annoyed of that?

"Hey" Joelle then said softly, her tone more quiet, her smile vanishing a slight bit and Tom knew there would come a serious conversation now. She always said "hey" as an introduction to a topic that could hurt him - could be insensitive. She did never want to throw him into a situation or question without giving this kind warning. Tom looked up to her curiously.

"Did you find out something about your father?" She then asked. Tom shook his head at once.

"Nothing..." he murmured. "Headmaster Dippet doesn't remember any other Riddle student. It's likely that-"

"he wasn't a wizard" finished Joelle thoughtfully but Tom glared, outraged on an instant.

"Of course he was a wizard!" he snapped, causing Joelle to pull her head back in surprise, holding up her hands in a "don't attack" kind of way.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude, I just thought you were going to say that, too" she tried to explain but Tom was still angered, his nostrils flared as he glowered at the wardrobe. "I would never say something like that."

"Marvolo..." Said Joelle, her eyebrows twitching together. "I really didn't mean to-"

"I know you didn't." Sighed Tom then, his frown unwrinkling as his eyes swept over to her. She clearly felt bad about what she said - and that's all he wanted to achieve.

"Tell me about your friends" Joelle then smiled, changing the topic.

"Friends?" Tom asked with a raised eyebrow. Joelle nodded.

"The people I get along with", he emphasized, "are...", he paused, glancing up to the ceiling, then shrugged, "are just there, I suppose."

"Oh snowman...surely you want to make some friends, I mean, those kids are like you" she smiled, clearly under the belief that she complimented Tom - whose eyes widened in another wave of rage.

"They. Are. Not. Like. Me" he growled, about to bark again but Joelle quickly interrupted.

"Of course they're not - but they know magic. That automatically connects you, doesn't it?"

"I don't think so" murmured Tom with a glare, resulting in a sigh from Joelle.

"Honey, I think you're tired. You're all agitated, maybe you should get some sleep" she patted his head, wanting to get up, but Tom pulled her back down.

"I haven't come here to be told that my father might be a filthy muggle and that I'm like any other student at Hogwarts, Joelle!" He squeezed her hand so hard that she had to flinch away from him, her mouth gapped open, not understanding her wrongdoings.

"Marvolo..." she said quietly, looking into his eyes. He looked back and, as always, could not remain angry for too long - Joelle did not mean to hurt him. He ran his hands through his hair, bending over to his lap, he could feel the change of atmosphere, Joelle felt insecure, she glanced to the left and right - and all that the both of them feared was that things had already changed too much between them after those months.

"You're so...unhappy..." Joelle suddenly said, her voice croaking a slight bit and Tom knew she tried to fight the tears. Tom did not respond, he merely and aimlessly stared ahead. The tenseness of the atmosphere increased until it dissolved at once with Tom's next few words.

"I just miss you, Joelle." He said gently, watching how Joelle started to smile again - but her joy grew beyond measure when for once it was Tom who opened his arms for her - and she instantly hugged him tightly.

"I do have the perfect Christmas present for you." Whispered Tom, grinning ahead into the distance as his eyes narrowed steadily.

If only she knew.

 _Soon_.


	13. Action

**Chapter 13: Action**

 _When it's obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals. Adjust the action steps_ \- Confucius

Joelle smiled softly while she watched the sleeping figure of Tom in the bed. He had fallen asleep sometime after his session of anger earlier. His face was was expressionless as always as he lay there with his eyes closed. It was as if those months of absence have never happened, at least while the peace was there. Joelle sat at the desk and read a book, interrupted by a hearty yawn that ended in a cough when she realized Tom's eyes were wide open the next moment, staring at her. It was a bit scary.

"Marvolo", she said in surprise. "Did you rest well?"

"What time is it?" Asked Tom, sitting up.

"About ten in the evening. You missed dinner, I didn't want to wake you up. But we left you something. Want to eat now?"

"N-yes" Tom nodded, turning his face away when a low grumble erupted from his stomach. Joelle grinned but didn't comment it, instead, she held out her hand to him to pull him up. He took it and together they walked downstairs.

"Do you remember what you dreamt of?" Asked Joelle but Tom shook his head as he sat in front of his plate, poking around the food.

"I never dream. Actually." Tom murmured.

"What do you mean you never dream?" Joelle chuckled. "Everyone dreams."

Tom raised an eyebrow at her. "So you still think I'm like everyone else."

"You are very special. But dreams, really, it's something you can't control. Like...nyah, like this." She yawned, frowning when Tom did not yawn back.

"Did you make the food?" Asked Tom then, still observing his plate and only touched it when Joelle told him that she cooked it.

After having received something to eat, Tom seemed in a way better mood than before, especially when Joelle grinned and handed over some cut apple bits. Tom grinned back, but none of them commented it; they merely walked upstairs afterwards.

"It's late, snowman. I will go to bed." Joelle smiled and hugged Tom, but he did not let go when Joelle did.

"Stay with me", he murmured. "You already moved into my room. Where would you sleep anyway?"

"Bryan's room isn't being used yet, I could-"

"We will get the mattress." Said Tom. "Then you can stay with me." He started walking off, not even caring about what Joelle thought of it. She merely crossed her arms and leaned against the wall while watching Tom hurrying over into Bryan's room, getting the mattress, pulling it over into his, running past her to get the blanket and pillows, then back into his room again. Joelle smiled to herself and sighed softly when Tom peeped his head around the wall.

"Come." He said.

Joelle still smiled and walked into the room again, sitting down on the mattress, snickering at how Tom had fluffed up the pillows and folded over a part of the blanket to make it look more comfortable. It was rare to see that side of him - but even rarer to experience it. No, it was impossible to experience it.

"So caring, aren't you?" Grinned Joelle. Tom only huffed.

"I was going to take the mattress...but as you wish." He shrugged and the corner of his mouth twitched up in a halfway smirk as he threw himself onto the bed, his back facing Joelle.

"Pah! Good night then." Chuckled Joelle and turned over.

"Good night. Silly girl." Tom sighed, feeling a pillow hitting the back of his head. He didn't budge at all, but fell asleep with a grin.

"Joelle. Wake up."

"Mhnm..."

"Wake up now!" Hissed Tom, causing Joelle to shoot up, looking around.

"What happened?! Is it Amy and Dennis again?!" She rubbed the side of her head, then realized it was not her aunt who woke her up.

"Snowman...what's all the fussing about?"

"Mrs. Cole must have gotten you out of bed sometimes for them, huh? Amy and Dennis. What did the little crybabies whine about?" Asked Tom with a smirk as he leaned against the wall, staring down at Joelle.

"They are still traumatized, Marvolo." She said sternly, a scowl showing on her face. She rarely ever scowled, which is why Tom took it seriously, deciding not to further talk about it. For now.

"Will you be busy today?" He asked.

"It's Christmas Eve today." Smiled Joelle, sitting up. "I will be a bit busy, yes. Helping my aunt with the food and such."

Joelle. Always helping her aunt - it seemed like she wanted to pay her debt of living here. Tom couldn't think of anything else - she couldn't just do it to be nice, where was the benefit of that? Especially after he was gone, who was left worth being nice to?

"I believe that's why Martha doesn't like you." Said Tom suddenly, looking down at her. Joelle looked up to him curiously. Why would he say something like that?

"Because you're kind of taking over her job. She used to be the helper here before you came. And now she's at the other wing with the little ones and the other helpers. She probably feels outrun by a seventeen year old."

"That might be true. You're so observant when it comes to how people could feel, Marvolo. That will be important in the future, you know. You don't always have to feel the same but you need to understand them." Smiled Joelle and got up, stretching and yawning. Tom just watched her.

"I think of you when I think of how others could feel." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"I imagine how you would evaluate the situation. I imagine your thinking process in order to understand what others could be feeling or thinking. Because you're always right." He mumbled the last part as if it didn't taste good.

"You're so cute", sighed Joelle, "I just want to squeeze and cuddle you all day long." She smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You're always so physical." Sighed Tom then, shaking his head. "You can't go around and love everyone. You'll only end up getting hurt."

"I don't love everyone. I just think that everyone deserves some love."

"Everyone?" Frowned Tom. "Even John?"

Joelle stared at him, then chuckled. "Tell me why you think John behaved the way he did."

"He loved you?" Asked Tom, thinking to be this the thing Joelle wanted to hear. But she shook her head.

"Oh, no. John did not love me. Love doesn't do that."

"Why else did he want to possess you, why else did he stalk you, threaten you, do anything for you to stay with him?" Asked Tom with a frown.

"He did all of those things because he did not love me." Said Joelle simply before she walked off, leaving Tom behind to think about these words.

"Is it true that he's back?" Whispered Eric to Joelle - Joelle nodded while sitting with the kids around the table, crafting like last year. Her eyes swept to the empty spots of Amy and Dennis, and despite the circumstance that Tom could clearly see how much she pitied that they were not here, she tried to be in a good mood for everyone else.

"I want him to leave again..." Murmured Matt then. "Our life here has been so much easier since he's been gone..."

"Matt", frowned Joelle with a scolding tone, "don't be so mean. All of you are orphans, I don't understand why you can't stick together like a family."

Matt shrugged. "We tried. But you weren't here, you didn't have to grow up with a boy who-", though Matt kept quiet the moment he spotted Tom walking into the dining room with crossed arms and a calculated, daring glance. Matt said no more.

"Marvolo", smiled Joelle. "Sit with us, will you?"

"Why haven't you been in our room." Asked Tom, his tone closer to a demand than a true question. Joelle glanced up to him; Tom wasn't sure whether she was surprised of his tone or the fact that he called his previous room their room now; after all, he wasn't famous for his generous and sharing nature.

"You've been napping and I did not want to disturb you. You seemed very exhausted, dear. You didn't miss anything, don't worry", smiled Joelle.

 _Wrong_ , Tom thought. Of course he missed something. Deciding to let the topic be for now, after all, it was Christmas Eve and he knew how much Joelle despised arguing, he simply sat down and watched the tenseness of the atmosphere growing thicker and denser. He couldn't help grinning while everyone tried their very best to avoid looking at him. Joelle seemed so oblivious to that while she and Billy sprinkled chocolate over some cookies, her eyes reflecting joy when Mrs. Cole finally walked down, forcing a smile at Tom, reaching out a hand to his back to rub it softly.

"Ah, Tom, good to see you. I'm quite sorry I couldn't get to say hello earlier - busy as always. So eh. Heh. How...how is school?" She asked, making the whole situation a lot more awkward than it was. Tom, however, decided to play along for the while.

"Good" he said simply, watching Joelle like a hawk.

"They treat me well." Tom added, his eyes swept over to Mrs. Cole as if to indicate _'unlike you'._

"Well...", Mrs. Cole cleared her throat and nodded with another insincere smile.

"Then I suppose you are having a very good time, yes?" She asked insecurely. Tom knew she tried to make sure that he truly liked where he was at - because she definitely did.

"I'm having the best time of my life. Almost..." He murmured the last part while watching Joelle giggling around, smearing some bit of melted chocolate on Billy's nose - who gasped and smeared some of the chocolate back onto her cheek. Tom felt his innards starting to boil and burn until they cooked up enough hatred for Billy to mysteriously wince upon some sharp pain in his stomach. To Tom's unexpectedness, Joelle of course rubbed Billy's back, walking him upstairs while soothingly telling him that he probably sneaked too many cookies and that his _'tummy was upset'._ Tom's narrowed eyes followed them, but he kept quiet, said nothing, tried to calm down. He could not allow himself to be expelled because of that. He still had a plan.

 _Joelle_. 

Soon.

And then screams erupted from downstairs. Mrs. Cole quickly ran into the dining room; frowning widely upon the very view ahead of her. Joelle couldn't have been there any quicker either.

"Amy! Dennis!" Gasped Joelle when the both of the kids stared ahead at Tom with eyes wide open and a look of terror reflected in them. Tom merely leaned against the wall with crossed arms, bored out of his mind, even though Joelle was sure she saw a little grin on his lips.

"Hello Amy and Dennis" said Tom then, causing Joelle to sigh in relief upon seeing that his grin turned into a soft and gentle smile as he walked closer to Amy - who clung to Dennis, burying her face against his chest. Tom sighed, sadly looking up to Joelle and Joelle seemed to wipe away a tear, then shook her head at Tom as if to say "don't worry, sweetheart". Mrs. Cole led the two traumatized kids out of the dining room eventually, Tom and Joelle watched how she brought them over to Martha at the other wing.

Tom remembered very well why he did not want to come here. While his chills of disgust increased during the plenty of Christmas songs they sang as the evening progressed, he could only think of one thing, over and over again. Certainly he did not spend a single moment regretting any of his decisions; not the least was he concerned with any consequences. There wouldn't be any, simply put.

"Marvolo? Are you not listening?" Smiled Joelle as she offered him a cookie that Tom declined.

"Of course I'm listening" he said, wondering what it was that she was saying. He hated himself for not paying attention - how could Joelle say something next to him without him noticing? His thoughts required too much of him. Tom always heard what she had to say, was always there to judge her words, to comment, to agree, to disagree, to discuss yes, even to adore at times.

"Marvolo?" Joelle asked once more. Tom frowned at her. Did she speak to him again? Did he miss it again? He couldn't believe it. Tom ran a hand through his hair, staring at her for a couple of seconds, fixing her with his eyes. He felt sick. His thoughts and thinking processes subtracted the attention he could spend on reality - on her. He had to stop, stop the obsessive thoughts at once.

"What?" Tom then asked. Joelle chuckled; the other kids were silent while eating. Billy shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Nothing, snowman. It wasn't important" smiled Joelle while busying herself with the pumpkin cream soup that, much to Tom's surprise, was so much better than at Hogwarts, he had to agree. But he did not agree with something else.

"I want to know what you said" he murmured lowly, staring at her. "Repeat your words. Please..." he added once he saw her stern glance.

"I said that we should build a snowman tomorrow" said Joelle then, smiling, but Tom did not smile back. Quite on the contrary, he even glared.

"And why did you say it's not important?! You wouldn't have told me had I not asked you to repeat your words! Not important!" He raised his voice, causing the other kids to frown with open mouths - even Mrs. Cole could not help staring wide eyed. Joelle's facial expression, however, did not change. She looked at Tom calmly as ever and decided not to comment, simply continuing to eat.

Tom felt the rage increasing, he tried to calm down again, not wanting to lose it, not on her, not now that he could be expelled for letting his stray magic off the leash. Then again, why didn't anything happen when Billy had these cramps earlier? There was no mistaking, Tom wanted Billy to suffer, couldn't control himself - why, though, why didn't it have any consequences yet? It must've been magic that Tom used on him, of course, only he could have this effect on somebody. How very strange. The Trace must be inconsequent. But when?

"Joelle. Come with me" said Tom then, getting up. Joelle glanced around, seeing that most of the kids were done, and so she got up, following Tom upstairs quietly. He locked he door as soon as she was in his room with him.

"Old habit?" Chuckled Joelle, but Tom merely walked past her.

"Look...I need to tell you something." Tom murmured, sitting down on the bed. Joelle frowned, sitting next to him, seeming worried. "What is it?"

"I...will not stay here for two weeks" he suddenly murmured, causing Joelle to frown widely.

"Why?" She asked, her voice turning soft and sad. "You said you would..."

"The Hogwarts express leaves thrice during the holidays. That's the 23rd of December and also the 26th of December - in case children want to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas but want to celebrate New Year's Eve with their families - and also in case of any immediate and unforeseen changes, so children can return quickly. That being said...I will take the train back on the 26th of December and not on January the 6th."

"But why?" Asked Joelle again, lowering her head. "I won't be seeing you until summer then...I don't understand why you don't want to stay here with us?"

Tom sighed. "I just had the feeling that I'm not very welcome here anymore. And you're distant...I guess I came here with the wrong expectations." He looked away, suppressing a small grin when he heard Joelle's quiet sniffling.

"It breaks my heart to hear this...Of course you're welcome here..." She said softly. Tom glanced at her from the corner of his eye, but didn't yet turn around.

"Am I?" He whispered.

"Of course you are! Stop being silly!" Joelle suddenly hissed; a sound Tom has never heard from her. He liked it.

"Then why didn't you tell me that you wanted to build another snowman?"

"When you didn't hear me I thought I would just surprise you with it tomorrow. That's why I didn't repeat myself and said it wasn't important...do we really have to discuss about something like that? It's Christmas Eve..." She sighed, and Tom turned around to her, inhaling deeply.

"Stay with me and I'll stay with you" said Tom then, looking into Joelle's eyes. "Don't go downstairs anymore."

"Fine" smiled Joelle and leaned back. "You're so vain, you know?" She asked, then cackled when Tom huffed but leaned against the wall as well. Both of them were quiet. But at least she was here. With him. Tom liked this version of Christmas Eve a lot better.

And then soon came.

It was the day of the 25th of December. The room was all tidy when Tom watched Joelle sleeping - but when the clock hit six in the morning, he finally woke her up.

"Joelle." Tom said softly, nudging her shoulder. Joelle stretched and yawned, snickering once she saw Tom's face in the dim light.

"Snowman...it's tooooo early, let me sleep, will you?" She smiled and turned over again. Tom observed her closely, shaking his head.

"Wake up." He said again. "I have a surprise for you."

Joelle noticed how his voice vibrated in the air, it was soft and gentle and it beheld a tone that was not so familiar. When she sat up, there was a rectangular box, wrapped up in dark paper.

"Marvolo..." Joelle frowned upon the size. "What is this? Whatever it is, it's huge and...you shouldn't have..."

Tom chuckled. "Come on, don't make me wait for so long. I want to see your face" he said, urging Joelle to open it up. Joelle grinned but stretched and yawned, testing his patience.

"But you need to open the one I have for you first." She giggled, but Tom shook his head.

"Later" he murmured, pulling the blanket away from Joelle, causing her to yelp upon the freezing air.

"Cold! Alright! Alright. You can be such a pest, you know?" She laughed when Tom grinned, staring at her with insane longing when she finally started to unwrap it. Joelle frowned.

"A...what the?" She chuckled at the rectangular, copper colored steel cage.

"Where's the pet for that?" She asked with a bright smile which died out and ended in a silent scream when the next thing she saw was Tom's wand aimed at her - and she felt her body shifting and moving, her size changed. And soon, she was on the ground, looking around hastily, not knowing what just happened.

"I told you I would take you with me, Joelle." Whispered Tom, picking up the black furred cat, holding her up into the light. Joelle's widened eyes reflected nothing but the horror of naked insecurity and fear.

 **AN: Did you see that coming?**


	14. Inevitable Attention

**AN: thanks for the reviews so far, every review makes me squeak in joy!**

 **Chapter 14: Inevitable Attention**

 _There is no great genius without some touch of madness_ \- Aristotle

"Joelle! Stop...stop it!" Tom hissed at the wiggling cat in his arms, struggling and clawing on him, trying to break out, but Tom quickly put her into the cage where she meowed heartbreakingly.

"I can't let you out, I'm sorry. You will come with me to Hogwarts. I would've transformed you into a snake had it been given my way but...snakes aren't allowed at Hogwarts. And I thought a cat suits your personality much better anyway. Stop meowing, please. I'm awaiting a letter any moment. It will be just a warning, I asked Professor Slughorn what happens to a student who uses a spell outside of school. I used a nonverbal spell, I hope that made it more difficult for them to make out what exactly I did. Joelle! Be quiet finally, will you!" Tom frowned when Joelle ran around in the cage with black eyes. She was enormously scared.

"Don't be scared. I'm here...l will take care. We are going home. Where we belong. We won't come back here anymore. I know your life will be changing but really, you should've expected this. I have paid so much attention in Dumbledore's classes. You remember that, shhhh. Shhh, that he teaches transfiguration, right? I've read plenty of books ever since I arrived, I planned this from the start. The most difficult part was getting down the techniques of nonverbal magic. But it's so easy once you know the basics. Joelle! Please, stop whining finally! I can't silence you now with another spell, they will- Look...there's the owl already..." Tom sighed and inhaled deeply, rolling his eyes, huffing as he read out the letter as soon as he let the owl in.

 _"Dear Mr Tom Marvolo Riddle,_

 _Unknown magical activities have been detected at Wool's Orphanage, London, on the 25th of December 1938, 6:13 a.m. The Office of Improper Use of Magic prohibits the usage of underage magic outside of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You are now hereby warned that in case such an activity is detected once more you will be expelled from said school._

 _Best regards,_

 _O. H. Thicknesse_ "

Thicknesse. Tom made a mental note to remember humiliating somebody called Thicknesse somewhen in the future. Maybe even humiliate them in the very nest of the ministry of magic. With a low growl, he paid the owl a glare and let it fly back, holding up the letter to Joelle who had squished into the very corner of the cage, rolled up, shaking.

"See what I do for us? I am taking the risk of being expelled. But I knew that I would only have to do this once. Anything else can be done at school where I'm allowed to use my wand. Stop meowing. I'm not going to let you out. I can't. I will let you out once we are back. Oh. Before I forget." Tom smiled and pulled out a letter from his jacket, holding it up.

"I had prepared this weeks ago. It's a letter from you. Well, not from you, I wrote it of course. I've had plenty of opportunities to copy your handwriting and practice, given all the letters you've sent me, right?" Tom chuckled and read aloud.

 _"Dear Ellie,_

 _I will be gone once you've read this. Everything here reminds me of Marvolo - I will be going where I can be free of that memory. I will write to you. Don't look for me, please. And in case somebody asks, I'm fine,_

 _Joelle"_

Tom put the letter on his desk.

"What do you think? I think it's quite okay, makes sense for you to say these things, right? And your joke of a father didn't even come for a visit anyway, does he even care where you are or where you aren't? Ah well. I've prepared a letter for him as well...just in case. Stop meowing already!" He suddenly thundered out when Joelle started to run around in her cage again.

"I've brought a sedative potion. Stole it from Madam Pomfrey at Hogwarts, she's still so young and naive, didn't even notice when I sneaked in. What I mean to say is...I will use it on you, should you not be quiet now." He sighed and sat in front of the cage, staring into Joelle's black eyes; her iris was almost invisible due to the fear. Joelle was not quiet.

"You don't deserve to be that scared. I truly regret being the cause. But it has to happen. Shhh..." He said softly, having sneaked his hand into the cage to poke her with a needle; Joelle tried to squirm away but Tom was too fast. He watched how she slowly started to sink in, cuddling down to herself, her widened eyes growing heavier and heavier - until they closed. Tom kept his attention on her, grinning to himself while throwing his head back, completely satisfied and content with himself and the world for once.

"Mrs. Cole?" Asked Tom later. The harassed looking woman turned around in the kitchen, as if deeply startled by the sound of Tom's voice.

"Yes, Tom?"

Tom's lower eyelid twitched upon the name. "I just wanted to let you know that I will be leaving early tomorrow. My professor asked me to return, saying it's urgent."

Mrs. Cole seemed a little happier, but tried to hide it. "Indeed? Well, okay, sure. Joelle will be sad about that, I'm certain. Speaking of which, can you send her down? I need-"

"She fell asleep, Mrs. Cole. And I...would like to have her to myself until tomorrow. I won't see her until summer after all. I didn't yet tell her."

"Oh. Yes-I- yes. Of course, l understand. I understand." Mrs. Cole nodded at Tom, watching him walking off and back upstairs.

Tom opened the door, glancing at Joelle in the cage, she looked up to him weakly but did not make a sound. Tom sat down in front of her.

"Ah. You're up. We will be leaving soon, Joelle. I've packed some of your things. Not too many, I don't want anyone to notice weird clothes in my wardrobe at school after all...I don't think I forgot anything. Hm..." Tom looked around to see something that could mean an awful lot to Joelle that he could bring with him. His gaze jumped back and forth but stopped at the plenty of photographs, eyes narrowed when he saw some of Bryan and Joelle. He took them down, observing the pictures for a long time before Joelle could clearly see a dark gleam of red color in Tom's eyes, he stared at her for a few seconds before he simply ripped the photos into shreds, not taking his eyes off of her during that action.

"You will never see him again. And you will never talk to him again." He said simply before throwing the scraps out of the window where the wind carried them away.

Joelle turned around, snuggling her tiny chin into the fur, her back facing Tom now - she was too weak to do anything else. Her eyes felt heavy, everything felt heavy. She fell asleep for a long time.

"Mrs. Cole, I-"

"Oh! How cute. When did you get that cat?" Smiled Mrs. Cole and the other kids looked up curiously from the table, glancing into the cage.

"Joelle surprised me with it. We are allowed to bring a cat to Hogwarts. Anyway...I will be leaving for King's Cross now. Joelle didn't take it so well. She's upstairs and wants to be left alone." Tom said softly. Mrs. Cole nodded with a strong sigh, glancing to the direction of the stairs, then back at Tom.

"Yes. I understand. Well...We shall see you next summer, right?" She asked with a little too much hope in her voice. Tom nodded, then turned around without a single goodbye to anyone. He did not care about them. Not the least bit.

Tom got on the Knight Bus, just like he did before he came to the orphanage. He didn't like the bus that much - but once Avery told him about it, he thought there was no better opportunity than taking advantage of a bus that picks up stranded witches and wizards anywhere.

When Joelle heard rustling and noise of an engine, and Tom's voice that clearly said that he insisted on keeping the cage with him, she opened her eyes and looked around. She sat in his lap, the cage was on the seat ahead, she was free.

"Hello sleepyhead. We are on the train." said Tom, seeing that Joelle was awake. Joelle looked around, looked out of the window, watching how they passed fields and farms that were covered in thick snow, her eyes widened when they were on top of a bridge, staring down into the frozen water.

"I knew you would like it" said Tom then, gently patting through her fur. Joelle felt dizzy, her vision was still blurry, but she saw and heard enough to know that she did not like it.

"Shhh! Not so loud. You don't want me to put you back to sleep again, do you? I'm allowed to use magic on the train. Shh. That's right..." Tom sighed and rested back when Joelle stopped making noise.

"You must hate me now. I thought about what I said. I told you you wouldn't be allowed to ever return anymore, I think that's not a great motivation to gain your trust and loyalty. No, I believe I should at least allow you to see your...friends once a year, when we have to return. I need to tell you that I do try for us to stay in Hogwarts though, so don't get your hopes up. You will see, it will be amazing. I will teach you magic! I will get a wand for you, there are so many idiots carrying a wand...you won't believe it. Isn't that great? You just have to get used to it. I never accepted the fact that your parents forbade you to go to Hogwarts. It can't be a coincidence that we met! You are a witch. Those muggles could never understand! We have a long way to go...but with my help, I know you can do it." He patted through her fur again but suddenly, Joelle raised her paws and before Tom could even stop it from happening, she started to claw, bite and scratch him, hissing and roaring loudly - it resulted in being caged up the next moment again. Tom leaned back with a low grumble, glaring at her.

"You're ungrateful! Ungrateful and selfish!" He barked, silencing her meowing with a loud and clear " _Silencio_!" And Joelle was heard no more. Tom still growled something under his breath, inspecting his bloody scratches before he finally healed them with his wand - not a single incantation was said.

"Hello dear. Would you like to have something to eat?" Asked the woman behind the trolley of food a bit later. Tom looked at her, then glanced at Joelle, nodding at the woman as he got up and paid for a beef sandwich. He watched how the woman disappeared, then ripped the sandwich apart and offered it to Joelle, but Joelle only turned her face away from the food and curled up, letting her ears hang down while she still looked around with those black and scared eyes, opening her mouth in silent meows. Tom sighed, resting back, shaking his head.

"What shall I do with you...you have to eat, girl. You didn't eat anything ever since you're a cat. I'll do it forcefully if you don't eat later. And you don't want me to do that, trust me." He said darkly now, absolutely annoyed. Why couldn't Joelle understand that he only wanted the best for her? Did she not want to stay with him? Did she not cry because he was gone, did he not see her eyes twinkling in amazement when they visited Diagon Alley that day? Surely she just had to get used to it. Surely some people required a firm hand to see their luck. Joelle was one of those, as it very well turned out.

The trip took a long time, and somewhen during that, Tom had fallen asleep. Once he realized that he did, he shot his eyes open, hastily looking over to the cage, but Joelle was still there. And she was not alone. Some girls had come over, pointing at the black cat that sat up and fluffed up her fur proudly, playfully swatting at the girls, then rolled around on her back.

"She's so beautiful!" Said one of the girls. She was a red haired girl from Ravenclaw, as Tom noticed, and maybe two years older than him. Next to her was a girl from Hufflepuff, about Tom's age, but he did not care much about who they were, he just did not want anyone near Joelle.

"Leave her alone" he said harshly. "She's very exhausted."

"Ah, but she's so cute, she played with us all the time, she's probably very bored" said the Ravenclaw girl, frowning at Tom - but Tom simply got up and shoved them out, closing the door firmly. A sigh escaped his lips as he turned around, staring at Joelle while shaking his head with a sarcastic huff.

"Tried to charm them to get you out, did you not? You're not stupid at all. People love cats. I will have to take good care of you." He then sat down in front of Joelle.

"One more thing. I will forbid you to ever try to see Dumbledore." He said darkly, glaring at her.

He could not take the risk of having Dumbledore, the master of Transfiguration, see what Tom did. Surely he would notice on an instant that Joelle was not a common cat. As far as Tom remembers, Dumbledore wasn't very fond of Tom as it is, which was a bad circumstance considering his good relationship with headmaster Dippet. No, Tom would have to lock Joelle up for a while, until he trusted her enough and until she trusted him again. All he needed was time. That was the only sacrifice - and time he always deemed most precious. Joelle once said that there's nothing better to give away to somebody than time, for anything else comes back, time never will. Did she really not see how much he sacrificed for her?

"We will be there in a minute or two, Joelle. I will take you downstairs into the dungeons first. I'm sharing a room with Black, Lestrange and Avery. None of them owns a pet, so you don't have to worry about anything while in our dormitory."

And that's exactly how it happened. Tom got out of the train, Joelle's eyes widened upon the view - they were in a village of sorts. She continued observing every detail as they moved along and then there was the castle. It was gigantic, Tom could clearly see how Joelle looked at it curiously. They entered.

"Ahh, Riddle!" Cheered a round and plump professor.

"Professor Slughorn, hello." Said Tom gently, subconsciously tightening the grip around the cage.

"Oh wow, what a precious cat, is that yours? Look at that elegant tail! Christmas present I suspect?" Slughorn smiled and bent down to Joelle's level, but Tom pulled the cage away, clearing his throat with a nod. He didn't need anyone to take too much of a good look.

"Yes, Sir. She's very tired, didn't like the train ride that much. I'll bring her down."

"Yes, yes of course, do that. I'll be seeing you around, oh." He then leaned closer to Tom.

"Very disappointed to have missed you on my Christmas Eve's party, very disappointed. I hope you find time to join us for New Year's Eve?" He asked hopefully. Tom chuckled lowly, nodding.

"I shall be there, Sir."

"Excellent, excellent! Await my owl soon, my dear boy." He tossed up his hand, then turned around and walked off. Tom sighed, looking down at Joelle.

"Professor Slughorn invites 'special' students over for dinner and whatnot. He calls it Slugclub. Haven't told you about it yet. I'm the youngest there, we've only had one meeting so far. Well two, counting the one I missed." He mumbled while walking downstairs.

"Elder Wand." Tom said in front of a stony wall that moved to the side upon those words. He stepped inside, both of them were greeted by the dim and green light that caused Joelle to squint shut her eyes.

"You can see the green color, I guess? I was wondering about your eyesight as a cat. I researched of course and the books said that cats can't see all colors." Tom murmured gently, then turned quiet upon seeing his fellow students on the couches.

"Hey!" Smirked Black, frowning at Joelle.

"You got a cat for Christmas? How funny. Me too." Black pointed to another cat in the common room, cuddled on top of a sofa under the window. It was a big and broad, grey British shorthair - and, by the looks of it, it was a male. Tom didn't know whether to laugh or frown upon seeing Joelle curling up in her cage. Poor Joelle.

"What's the cat's name?" Asked Tom then.

"Merlin" shrugged Black. "Couldn't think of anything else."

"Better than Pebbles..." Murmured Tom.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'll be off. Joelle needs to adjust. Better keep Merlin away from her. She doesn't like...male cats." Said Tom, slightly amused as he walked into the dormitory where he locked the door and put the cage on his bed.

"Joelle..." Sighed Tom when she again ran from the left to the right in her cage, still meowing silently, her paw stretching out to him in desperate attempts to make him sensitive for her situation - but Tom did not want to see it.

"Listen. If you behave, I will...transform you back for some time. Only if you promise me to behave, have I made myself clear?"

Joelle sat in her cage and nodded, still trying to meow. Tom growled, as if frustrated with himself that he was so kind and soft. After all, Joelle, in his opinion, hasn't done much to deserve any mercy yet.

"You will also have to be quiet. Whisper to me. Don't you dare scream, I mean it." He grumbled dangerously and Joelle nodded again, stretching out her arm to him once more. Tom bit his bottom lip, then opened the cage. Joelle shot out and ran over to Tom, pawing up to him to motion him to transform her back.

The next moment, Joelle sat on Tom's bed - just the way she looked before she was a cat. She instantly burst out in tears - tears Tom had never seen her crying. It was not one of those cute I-missed-you-so-much-tears, nor those tears she cried throughout the trial when she was frustrated with John's story - no, this was deeper, heartbreaking sobbing.

"Joelle..." Sighed Tom.

"You had" she yelped, choking from crying, "absolutely no right", her voice cracked, "to take me here with you! No right at all!"

"I have all the right in the world" glared Tom, clutching around his wand a little tighter. "You belong here."

"How dare you, Marvolo!" Hissed Joelle, her eyes red from the crying, a wrinkle of wrath showed on her forehead, she clenched her fists. It was such an exciting new side of her that Tom could not help but stare and take in this shade of Joelle that was so well hidden until now. Tom felt like provoking her a bit more.

"I can do whatever I want with you" he said simply, suppressing the smirk when he saw Joelle's ghostly face that looked like she just witnessed a deadly car crash.

"I've been so wrong about you...all wrong." She suddenly whispered and got up - and this time it was Tom who resembled a ghost. His fingertips felt cold - his body turned into an oven the other second, his breathing grew shorter and he glared ahead, then at her.

"You have one second to sit down before I'm going to turn you back into a cat." He murmured lowly, eyes on fire.

"It's an illusion to think I will stay here! Marvolo! It's not even legal! God damn, do you even think further than A to B?!" She yelled, causing Tom to frown again. She surely was the only person to ever evoke some sort of facial reaction from him.

"A to- to! I thought this through from A to Z and back!" He yelled, jumping up from the bed, his wand aimed at her. Joelle just stared at him, glaring, but she was not scared. Tom could barely take this look coming from her.

"You're not the man yet to tame me, Marvolo." Joelle said harshly. Tom thought his ears weren't receiving the correct information. The anger rose in him again, he growled loudly, aimed his wand at her and Joelle turned back into a cat, but her words kept on looping in his head.

"Yet..." He murmured. "Yet..." He narrowed his eyes with a promising tone. He would be.

Some day he would be the man to tame Joelle Cole.


	15. Flawless Strategy

**Chapter 15: Flawless Strategy**

 _Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence_ \- Leonardo Da Vinci

Tom did not speak much during dinner. Not that he was the talkative kind of person anyway, but tonight he was exceptionally quiet. He did not eat much and ignored any sort of attempts of conversation coming from either his gang or the girls trying to catch his attention. After another awkward session of silence, Tom decided to get up and leave earlier than any of them, walking back downstairs and over into his dormitory where he frowned upon the view ahead of him.

Merlin, Black's cat, sat in front of Joelle, meowing loudly at her while Joelle was squished to the very back of the cage with her fur standing up and ears perked back. Tom shooed him away and closed the door.

"Joelle..." Murmured Tom, suppressing a grin when she looked at him with big dark eyes.

"Even as a cat the men are all after you. I should've probably transformed you into a jellyfish" he sighed and stared at her. She meowed at him.

"I know what will happen when I let you out. I'm sorry, but you'll have to stay in there for a while" he pulled out some bits of food he collected from the dinner table. To his surprise, Joelle ate it. It was interesting to watch that even as a cat, and hungry as she was, she did not lose her poise or elegance at all.

"I did all of this because I missed you" said Tom suddenly. Joelle looked up to him at that, her eyes not as black and wide as they were, she seemed to have calmed down momentarily but did nothing to respond to him. Tom glanced to the side, realizing that flattering her would obviously result in nothing - she was too sad, angry, and disappointed with him. When he next took a glance, he saw that she was curled up in her cage, nuzzled down to her bushy tail with a twinkling substance in her eyes. Tom quickly looked away, but his gaze fell on her cage again. It was small and uncomfortable, and as much as he was outraged about what Joelle had said when he transformed her back, he knew she did not deserve this miserable state of existence here in a dungeon. He inhaled deeply, looked down at her and she just looked up insecurely, half of her face hidden in her tail.

"Fine. I will let you out. But you need to promise me to behave. I will not transform you back but I don't want you to be caged up like that all the time" he frowned, wondering why exactly he did not want it. He didn't quite know.

After another moment of reasoning with himself, Tom opened the cage and Joelle slowly walked out, warily looking around. Tom picked her up and sat her in his lap.

"Merlin is not here, don't worry" said Tom dryly, patting through her fur. Not even he could help feeling up her softness - he had the idea that he was allowed to touch her now that she was a cat, and nobody would find it weird or strange. Aside from Joelle herself maybe, which was proven when she started turning to the opposite direction from his hands, wiggling away from him. She simply jumped down and up another bed, making it fairly clear what she thought of him. At first Tom felt that famous bubble of destructive anger growing bigger, but it popped into nothingness upon recalling that she was with him - and that's all that mattered.

Tom did not sleep a lot that night. Worrying that Joelle would somehow escape did its justice of keeping him up.

Sure, the windows, as they would only lead into the sea, were no option, and even though he told Lestrange, Black, and the rest that they had to take utmost care of the cat not ever leaving the common room, he could not be entirely sure that Joelle wouldn't use a chance to slip out - after all, she was a cat that could think ahead, just like him, plan a move in a game of chess.

Each time Tom's eyes hectically swept over to her, she was still cuddled on top of Lestrange's bed, who grew fond of Joelle the moment he had seen the black fluffy cat.

She can't escape. It was ridiculous to think she could outfox him. Impossible. Tom stared at her and leaned back, wondering if he should let his gang in on his secret. It would be much easier to transform Joelle back in the dormitory if they knew. It would help them understanding the importance of keeping an eye on her. Oh their faces when they could see that she is not a common cat, they would just gasp in awe, as they should, for how many first years do they know that have done what Tom did?

Should he tell? What if one of them informed somebody who should not hear about it? Possibly Dumbledore? Tom growled at the thought of him. But believing he could continue on like this for maybe years without anyone noticing - even for Tom, who was so assured of his abilities, it seemed unlikely that it could remain a secret forever.

Tom knew that one method of ensuring his authority was giving others some responsibility. Make them believe they're important - Tom was good at that. Maybe teach them one or the other thing, help the idiots to a little success, just a tiny bite of the whole cake that was reserved for only him. Why then would they be loyal to an old man like Dumbledore when they could choose Tom, somebody delving into every bit of magic he came across? Tom nodded to himself.

He always understood how people worked - and how to work them.

"What do you mean she's not an ordinary cat?" Asked Avery, looking at the sleeping Joelle curled up on the bed later that day.

"You need to swear utmost secrecy" said Tom. "By showing you, I trust you. You don't want that trust to turn into something else, do you?" Asked Tom. The other kids shook their heads. They did not want to give him a reason to be angry.

"Good" Tom nodded, then smirked as he waved his wand at sleeping Joelle - and before Lestrange knew it, there was a sleeping teenage girl on his bed. Tom enjoyed the loud gasps of awe - just as he he expected.

"Dear Merlin!" Yelped Avery.

"That's just insane!" Exclaimed Black.

"Who is she?!" Asked Lestrange.

"That's Joelle. I have brought her here to teach her magic. And because I simply want her around. She...is all I have" Tom looked to the ground, then up them again. A little pity should do it.

"Now you certainly wonder why I would let you in on my secret. Because I know you can handle it. You're not like the others" complimented Tom, looking at all of them with his intense and calculated glance. The boys nodded with bright smiles, eyes glistening in pride and joy.

"And because I trust you so much with my secret...there are a couple of things I want you to do", he paused dramatically, "you play a big role in making sure that I will succeed."

The other boys just stared at Tom - Lestrange nodded feverishly already, the others joining.

"What can we do?" Asked Black full of ambition, looking at Joelle, then back at Tom.

"Keep an eye on her. I want nobody to touch her. And the most important part...make sure she's not ever anywhere near Dumbledore" Tom growled upon the mere thought of it.

"Hah, yeah, he would instantly transform her back and send her home" snickered Avery, earning himself a harsh glare from Tom.

"Do you think that's funny, Avery?" Asked Tom dangerously. Avery gulped, shaking his head.

"How did you even do that, Tom!" Squeaked Lestrange. "It's awesome! You just waved your wand, you didn't even say a word! You're here for only a few months and you already know how to transform someone into an animal, without saying the incantation! And transform them back! I can't believe it!" He shook his head.

"I will teach you one or the other technique" said Tom, rubbing his chin with a slight grin when the boys gasped.

"You would really do that?" Asked Black. Tom nodded, watching the boys looking at each other in joy.

Just as planned.

"One more thing" said Tom, sitting up again as if leaning closer to the conversation.

"Nobody shall know. It's just you three right now. I will let the other boys I trust in on my own accord. No soul must know our secret" he whispered.

"Oh. So it's _their_ secret now, too" said a voice suddenly. Everybody's heads turned over to where it came from. Joelle sat up. Lestrange's mouth gapped open, he could not help his eyes trailing to Joelle's chest before he quickly looked away, feeling ashamed.

"Joelle" smiled Tom, though hiding a slight glare. She has seen through him - as always.

"Are you and Tom related?" Asked Avery then.

"No silly questions!" Groaned Tom. Avery cleared his throat again, nodding quickly.

They all shifted a little when Joelle tried to stand up, but Tom forced her back down with his wand - without saying a word.

It was downright out of this world for this boy to know so much about nonverbal magic already. It was scary. It was exciting. It was inviting them to become great, too. Joelle, however, was not positively impressed by Tom's greatness. She narrowed her eyes at him, and for the first time that Tom realized, he was confronted with the truth that all the warmth and maybe even love for him was gone in the curiousness of this moment.

"You can't keep me here forever" she hissed at him.

"You're wrong. I can" shrugged Tom. "Now...we don't want to spend the rare time of your human presence with exchanging hurtful nothings, do we?"

The other boys grinned as Tom observed Joelle's face closely. Her lips were pressed together firmly but she said nothing else; Tom saw her fighting the tears. Her eyes swept over to the door.

"Don't even try, the door is locked" muttered Tom.

"We are not that bad, Joelle" smiled Lestrange then. "In Slytherin we are a family. You're a part of it now."

"Yeah" murmured Black. "We will protect you."

"Protect me..." Laughed Joelle suddenly, shaking her head. The sarcasm was almost jumping at Tom, clawing on him like she did as a cat. He disliked it.

"Leave" he said to the boys suddenly. They got up on an instant, unlocking the door, walking out of the dormitory and into the common room. The door closed again and Tom magically locked it, but did not yet turn around from the wood.

"Marvolo, be reasonable..." Said Joelle softly suddenly. "You know I can't stay here with you..."

"Funny. I was under the impression that you already are staying here" chuckled Tom, turning around from the door and Joelle backed away, seeing a red glow in his eyes, and before she knew it, items of sorts were flying across the room. She gasped and jumped onto the bed, crawling to the very back. Tom was outraged out of nowhere.

"How dare you!" Yelled Tom. "How dare you be okay with leaving me! We wouldn't have seen each other till summer! HOW DARE YOU!" He yelled on the top of lungs - Joelle has never heard this kind of noise from him. She held her breath when he was in front of her out of nowhere. She quickly turned her face away.

"Look at me" he murmured dangerously. Joelle, not feeling like she wanted to continue being intimidated by a child, looked up with a glare.

"This is not a game, Joelle. But I assure you that if it were, I would win. I always win" he glowered - Joelle's eyes widened.

"Remember John, remember Billy, remember Amy, remember Dennis. Remember all of them, they were nothing but pawns for me! You hate me as it is, there is no reason to hide it anymore."

Joelle's lips were merely parted.

"Why?" She simply asked breathily. "Oh god Marvolo...why..."

"Because of you" glared Tom. Joelle looked up with a shocked expression. "What?"

"John hurt you. Nobody is allowed to hurt you! Unless it's me, unless it's when I", he got louder, "deem it necessary! Amy and Billy destroyed our snowman! They deserved getting hurt! I told Billy to stay away from you - he laughed at me, mocked me! I warned them! I warned all of them!" He yelled, eyes reddening again. Joelle looked away from him, shaking her head in disbelief.

"And that's exactly why I did it" he suddenly whispered. "You! Turning your attention away! Just like you did at the countryside! That's why Amy and Dennis had to pay. Simply because they were there" shrugged Tom. Joelle shook her head at him in denial.

"No, no Marvolo..." she whispered, but Tom snickered. "Yes, Joelle..." He then looked at her and she looked back. They stared at each other for a moment that seemed like eternity was lasting just a split of a second, and then something happened that Tom will never understand.

Joelle hugged him.

She pulled Tom against her chest, nuzzling her nose in his hair. Tom grew all rigid when this happened, he had the urge to withdraw, but he did not. His tense muscles loosened, he let his arms fall down. Joelle. What a curious girl.

Everyone else would have punched him for what he had said. Any other sane person would have pushed him away, would have yelled, screamed, ripped him into shreds. But not Joelle.

Not his Joelle.

"I don't hate you, snowman" she whispered gently. "I don't hate you."

Tom looked up to her, the red gleam in his irises gone. He did not understand.

"But you don't want to stay here with me..." Whispered Tom. "I can't study while worrying that somebody unworthy is with you. The past few months were horrible, especially when you stopped writing to me because of Bryan, perfect Bryan!" He yelled again, getting himself worked up, but with the simplest squeeze of Joelle's arms around him, his heart stopped racing and Tom felt how he calmed down on an instant. It felt terribly good, almost unbearable.

"Let us compromise" whispered Joelle. Tom looked up curiously when she let go to look at his face.

"I will give it a chance and stay here. But I will go back once I've realized that I don't like it" she said. Tom narrowed his eyes, shaking his head.

"I know why you want to go back. Bryan, right? Bryan!"

"Marvolo, Bryan and I are not dating anymore. He has got a new girlfriend, don't you know?"

"He does?" Asked Tom in surprise, feeling a little easier before he glared again. "But his feelings will come back when he sees you! That's how it works! He would choose you over anyone!"

Joelle suddenly laughed. "I'm not that great" she pushed Tom's head away playfully. Tom looked at her, then sighed.

"You're giving it a real chance? Giving this world a real chance?" He asked.

Joelle nodded. "I will."

"What if you like it here a lot more than home?" Tom asked.

"Then I will stay here" shrugged Joelle.

Tom's eyes widened upon that perspective. A bright grin spread across his face. Oh Joelle, silly Joelle. Did she not know that he would try anything to make it as perfect as it could get? He would make sure. He had enough tactics, he knew enough steps to take. Simple moves to achieve his goals. Simple methods to win.

All he needed was a strategy.

A flawless strategy.


	16. Discovery

**Chapter 16: Discovery**

 _Are right and wrong convertible terms, dependent upon popular opinion? -_ William Lloyd Garrison

"I'm glad you've finally come to your senses" said Tom, still looking at Joelle. The latter just raised an eyebrow when he spoke along.

"Trying to live in this world instead of refusing it is one step closer. You will like it, no, you will love it. Too bad it still takes some time for school to start" Tom sighed, suppressing the urge to randomly pat Joelle's head as he would do in her cat form.

"I can't believe all the effort you put in this just to get me here. You're so...merciless when you want something. Oh god...your poor wife one day..." snickered Joelle. Tom looked up to her curiously, frowning.

"What?" He asked.

"Your poor wife. Or husband, in case you swing the other wa-"

"Joelle!"

Joelle laughed out loud upon Tom's scowling face, he huffed and crossed his arms. Silly girl.

"Stop laughing already. Jo-Joelle. Heh..." Tom couldn't help but grin; Joelle already cried from laughing so hard. It sounded good.

"If you were my wife, I could get used to hearing your giggles" he suddenly said without thinking, regretting it on an instant.

Joelle cleared her throat, raising an eyebrow, then chuckled again.

"You don't know what you're saying, Marvolo."

Tom looked at her, then sighed with a nod. She was right. Ridiculously right. What was he saying?

"I need to ask you something" murmured Joelle suddenly. Tom turned his head to her, he knew what was coming next.

"What happened with Amy and Dennis?"

Tom did not respond. He kept staring ahead.

"Where's the benefit of telling you?" He asked dryly, unshaken.

"You're doing the right thing...is that not enough?"

"Not to me" shrugged Tom.

"Marvolo, please tell me" sighed Joelle, looking into his eyes. Tom glanced at her, then away again.

"Do you remember when you said that you've had a dream at the countryside about me talking to snakes?" Tom asked. Joelle frowned, but nodded.

"It wasn't a dream. You have heard me talking to a snake that night. It's true. I can speak to them. I have researched on it of course...the language is called Parsel. Salazar Slytherin himself was a Parselmouth. The very founder of this house could speak to snakes...it's no coincidence that I was chosen for this house, there's no other person suited better, I'm sure..." Tom rubbed the snake's crest on his cloak, then looked back at Joelle. She frowned, her eyes were widened.

"Marvolo, that's crazy...when and how did you learn to talk to snakes?"

"I never did" Tom shrugged. "I could always do it without teaching myself." He grinned proudly, but cleared his throat when he saw Joelle's focused and awaiting face.

"The snake slithered into our tepee tent that night...it told me that they were waiting for me in the cave. The cave from your postcard you wanted to send to Bryan", Tom's nose snarled up at the name, "and then you ignored me...and didn't spend time with me...and then there were Amy and Dennis, playing with the toys you have given them for Christmas. They felt special! They felt special because you gave them presents...they did not deserve to feel like that, don't you understand!?" He glared at Joelle, but the latter said nothing at the moment.

"I could not suppress my anger anymore.

So I lured them into the cave..." His tone got softer, quiet.

"I told them...that I hid their toys there..." He smirked, recalling the memory. His eyes glistened in glee when he turned his head to Joelle, declaring proudly "the cave was full of hissing snakes."

Joelle frowned, her lips parted, and Tom almost bathed in her gasps. The sole reason he even began to bother telling her the story was exactly that face of shock and fear. He did not want it to stop, to go away, he liked the attention, the impact he had on her. So he went on.

"Hundreds of snakes...and...then..." He paused theatrically, his eyes swept over to Joelle again - she was pale as a ghost. Tom felt his heart beating faster, something in his body craved her reaction.

"...and then...I told them...to attack the kids." He snickered when Joelle gasped again, pressing her hand to her mouth as she observed him closely with her eyes dancing from the left and right - and at once, Tom's enjoyment turned into anger with one reaction he had not foreseen. Joelle scooted away from him - he wrapped his hand around her wrist tightly.

He had gone too far.

Joelle, peace-loving Joelle, was in favor of the two idiots called Dennis and Amy, how could he have let himself be so carried away by his longing of Joelle's reaction when it was exactly that reaction that meant the worst consequences for him? Tom had to think, had to win her back. He couldn't lose her.

"I just wanted to scare them a little, Joelle. I would never truly hurt them. I know it was stupid but...I couldn't have told anyone. You know. They would have sent me to one of those doctors again...they would've said I'm mad. That I was making up all of those things. But I wasn't. I wasn't making it up, that's how it happened. Don't look at me like that. I just told the snakes to hiss at them. I didn't know it would result in...in that...I didn't tell you because I thought you would leave me..." Tom's voice cracked and he inwardly celebrated himself for being able to produce that sound. But Joelle did not yet respond. No. He had to try harder.

"I'm not evil...I'm not mad, Joelle, please...you have to believe me. I was just angry and sad and...they provoked me..." He looked at her with pleading eyes - and for once, Tom had to notice that he was actually sincere. Not about Amy and Dennis, but about pleading Joelle to not leave him now. She would try, now that she knew this, Tom was sure, she would definitely try. He could not let it happen, could not live with what perspective, he couldn't let Amy and Dennis win - and before Joelle knew it, Tom suddenly hugged her, but said no more.

"Don't hate me..." He whispered.

"I told you I don't hate you." She whispered as well. Tom felt good when Joelle hugged back at last.

"Snowman...you said that this Madam Pomfrey is a doctor, right?" She let go of him.

"She is a healer. There are no doctors in the wizarding world. They know better than to trust in doc-!" Tom spluttered out but Joelle raised her palm in a matter of telling him to let her speak.

"No doctor would ever believe what happened to Amy and Dennis. That's probably why they could not have been healed - they didn't believe the kids when they spoke the truth. We could possibly bring them here into this world, where a, healer you say? Could take care of them."

Tom looked at her, then away again, not liking this at all. He wanted Amy and Dennis to be miserable. They didn't deserve it any other way.

"That's not possible. Healers can only heal witches and wizards. Magical maladies outside of this world cannot be healed, it's forbidden. It may risk the exposure of our world. I'm sorry, Joelle." Said Tom, hoping Joelle would believe any of the nonsense he just made up, and she did, she nodded sadly.

"I really did not mean to hurt them that much...I underestimated the effect..." Tom looked away, suppressing a smirk.

"It's okay, snowman. I know you did not want that to happen."

"Can I ask you something, too?" Asked Tom. Joelle looked at him, nodding.

"What did you like about Bryan?" He stared at her intensively, resulting in a drawn out sigh from Joelle.

"Will the Bryan thing ever stop?" She asked, halfway amused and halfway annoyed. Tom shrugged.

"Answer my question and we will find out" said Tom simply. Joelle tabbed her index finger up and down her chin while thinking about her answer, probably just wondering how to word it.

"Bryan is a very caring person" she said, but Tom interrupted her immediately.

"He just cares because you're a girl."

Joelle chuckled. "Is that your belief? I wish you had used the chance to really get to know him-"

"Do you think I knew nothing of a guy living across my door for years?" Tom grumbled, smelling his chance. "You know nothing of Bryan. I know stories and-"

"I'm not going to allow you to taint my memory of him, Marvolo. So watch what you say next" declared Joelle in her stern tone. Tom frowned widely. He narrowed his eyes; felt the ticking bomb inside him.

"You don't want to let go of his memory...just a memory...! But you were fine about letting me go?!" Tom growled, about to lose his temper, but looking at Joelle and her frown promised him that if he lost it, he would regret it. If only anger came along with rationality, Tom would find it a lot easier to calm down, but he tried, for his sake and the sake of their relationship.

"Are you calm again?" Asked Joelle, but went on. "I was never fine about letting you go. You know that. But I did not want to make it harder for you by expressing my sadness too much, you had an awesome life ahead of you..."

"But just the thought of not seeing you until summer. It made me sad to see that you were accepting it."

"It would have been selfish of me not to accept it, snowman." She poked the tip of Tom's nose, smiling. "I wanted you to use the chance that I couldn't use."

"We can use it now. Together."

"Yes..." Sighed Joelle, though not sounding as happy as Tom. He frowned, not knowing what was wrong now. But then he had an idea.

"You're worried about a wand, right? Don't be worried." Said Tom; Joelle looked up in surprise, it probably wasn't what she thought of, but she sighed and shook her head.

"No, Marvolo. We are not going to steal, you hear me?"

Tom grumbled. "Some objects don't deserve to be in the possession of somebody unworthy. And so many students here shouldn't have wands - they can barely use their legs to walk ahead without falling." He crossed his arms and looked away in anger while Joelle chuckled throatily, pushing his head to the side.

"You're so cheeky" she snickered, leaning back. Tom glanced over his shoulder, a grin on his face, but he said nothing for a few seconds before he jumped up and walked to his suitcase, pulling out some clothes for Joelle, handing them over. Joelle frowned.

"It makes me uncomfortable to know you roamed around in my underwear."

"You need them" shrugged Tom colorlessly. He was very professional when it came to his mission - he wasn't like Lestrange, who would have giggled and squeaked at the mere sight of a girl's bra.

"Over there", Tom pointed ahead to a door, "is the bathroom. It's quite roomy, there are showers, too. You need to wash your worn clothes in the sink until you know how to do it with magic. I'm telling you, having a wand is a privilege...you will have to learn it the hard way...maybe you'll be more accepting once you realized. l will turn you back into a cat over the nights, just in case" said Tom dryly when Joelle looked at him unamused, walking off. She came back fifteen minutes later, rubbing through her wet hair with a towel, dressed in normal daywear, blinking awkwardly at the sight of the other boys back in the room. It was difficult to determine the daytime with the windows leading into the depths of the lake. She forgot it was probably late in the evening.

"Time to sleep" said Tom. He couldn't help but like he fact that he controlled everything about her - what she was eating or wearing, or when she was sleeping, when she was a human or a cat - it all lay in his hands, or on his bed, curled up in her cat form the next moment.

Joelle woke up early the other morning, having an instinctive urge to run across the room as fast as she could. She dashed around above Tom's head, pawing at his cheek, then ran away with a bushy tail when he grumbled and turned over, only to pounce on him the next moment. Tom stretched and yawned, then sat up after turning on the light, shaking his head at Joelle as she sat there proudly with her fur fluffed out on her chest.

"Seems like being a cat for too long is adjusting your personality a bit, hm? I hope you won't come back here with a mouse..."

Joelle meowed loudly in a clear tone of disgust before her eyes turned all black when she lowered her head and fixed Tom's toe moving under the blanket with her eyes - he quickly pulled his foot away.

"Don't you" he muttered, then waved his wand at her. Joelle sat on the ground, frowning.

"I'm acting like an idiot as a cat! Make it stop!"

Tom shrugged, grinning to himself. "I can't help it, really" he muttered.

"Then don't whine to me when I poo on your pillow one day..." grumbled Joelle - and for the first time that she recalls, she heard Tom laughing. She threw a pillow his way, it landed flat against his face and he let himself fall back, then stretched once more.

"Five in the morning?" He frowned, shaking his head at Joelle again - but she just shrugged.

"It's your fault. You had to turn me into a cat."

"The jellyfish is still an option, you know..." Tom grumbled, pointing to the lake. "You could swim with the giant squid" he looked at her, but of course he was only joking.

"I can't wait to take you with me to the lessons. You will like it. Slughorn seems fond of you already. He liked your tail-" he was interrupted by the noise of Joelle's stomach growling. Her cheeks reddened a little and she turned her face away, much to Tom's amusement.

"Guess who will have to be a good girl today if she wants something to eat?" Mused Tom tauntingly, she ignored it because she hated to be mocked, but yawned and sat down on his bed, looking around, then glanced back in surprise when she felt softness of fabric on her body. Tom draped the blanket over her shoulder.

"It looked like you were freezing" he murmured, crossing his arms. "Your motherly nature rubbed off on me a little" he then glanced over to Lestrange, who got up and yawned while stretching, smacking his lips as he eyed up the room in confusion - Joelle giggled. Tom very well understood why. Lestrange had a clumsy tinge to himself.

"Why are you two up already?" Lestrange asked once he spotted the two of them. Tom shrugged, not feeling obliged to answer. "Go back to sleep."

"Can't sleep anymore." Sighed Lestrange, blushing a slight bit as he glanced at Joelle. Tom caught it on an instant, glaring at the boy across the room. Oh he hated it when others looked her up and down. Lestrange cleared his throat, then sat up, yawning again. It was funny to watch, at least for Joelle, who observed the whole ordeal with amusement, then cringed a little upon another wave of growling eruption from her stomach.

"Ngh..."

"Oh" frowned Lestrange. "Poor girl. Why don't you give her some cat food? Black has plenty."

Joelle glared, spluttering out before Tom. "Because, boy, I am not a cat!"

"You hiss like one" snickered Lestrange, then gasped when Joelle grabbed a pillow and harshly threw it his way; it rotated furiously in the air but flew past Lestrange and over to Avery - nailing him flat against the face.

"Oi...what the heck is going on! Stop it, you!" Avery grumbled and threw the pillow back at Lestrange, who ducked again and the pillow flew right against Joelle's head. The boys gasped, their first glance was not directed towards Joelle but Tom - who glared furiously at them. Joelle simply chuckled, finding it to be amusing, but Tom was not amused at all. How dare they.

"Lestrange. Give Joelle your wand."

"W-what?"

"Do it."

"Marvolo, I don't-"

"Quiet." 

Lestrange handed over his wand to Joelle. The latter held it in her hand, observing it curiously, wanted to hand it back, but Tom's fingers fastened around her wrist.

"I want you to swing it at Avery" he murmured.

"What? No. You have seen what happens when the wand isn't your right match at Ollivander's, I don't want to hurt-"

"He deserves it. Do it, Joelle." said Tom sternly. Joelle glanced at him in disbelief, then over to Avery, who was sitting on his bed with eyes wide open. Joelle shook her head and handed Lestrange back his wand, glaring at Tom.

"Don't you ever command me to hurt someone. Especially when they do not", she emphasized, "deserve it, Marvolo." Her strict and firm voice threw Tom into a rage of fury, his hand instantly wrapping around his own wand, aiming it at her. She stared at him with that presence of persistent strictness, daring him to use disciplinary magic on her now. Tom was close to transform her back into a cat - but he didn't dare.

He just didn't dare.

Days passed. Tom trusted Joelle enough to show her around the castle and even took her with him to the Great Hall - where everyone adored Joelle and Tom's talent of training the cat such good manners. Joelle sat next to him, eating the food that he put down for her with her paw.

"I wish you weren't such a girl magnet" sighed Tom at her while studying in the library later, patting her head while she was cuddled down in his lap. Tom could see a couple of first and second year females luring behind bookshelves, giggling at Tom each time before they were thrown out of the library for being too loud. Tom sighed and shook his head and simply continued rubbing through Joelle's fur while reading when he suddenly raised his head, looking around, then back to his book again. Tom noticed this, however, couldn't comment it the way she wanted to, so she meowed at him.

"It's nothing. Don't worry" whispered Tom. He soon found out what it was that she tried to tell him through her cat form.

"Did you see what I'm trying to read right here?" He asked. Joelle shook her head.

"It's called Legilimency and Occlumency. Through that it is possible to...let's say enter somebody's mind and shield your own. I've been wondering why I didn't find this in the restricted section. But it makes sense, thinking about it. If it's as easy as it is shown to be in this book...hmm...then a lot of witches and wizards should be able to do it. One would want to know how it works, and how to block it. I'm going to try to learn it and use it on you. So I know for sure what you're thinking in your cat form. Wh- argh! Stop clawing on me! Joelle!" Tom hissed, but Joelle hissed back. She clearly wasn't impressed by his idea. He held her up in the air to his eye level. Joelle looked most unamused with her ears perked back, grumbling lowly, her bushy tail flicking to the left and right in passive aggression.

"Be a good girl. It's the best for the both of us. Or do you have anything to hide?" He grinned. Joelle hissed at him again, resulting in Tom closing his book, getting up from the chair.

"That's it, I'm bringing you back into the room. What? Will you behave?" He asked when Joelle meowed heartbreakingly, resulting in awwing from the girls. He put Joelle back on his lap where she curled up and hid her face in her bushy tail.

"She is so cute! At least I think it is female, is it?" Asked a girl a minute later. Tom could hear Joelle grumbling lowly, as if angered for being mistaken as anything else. Tom merely nodded at the girl, making it painfully obvious that he had no business with her- but she did not move an inch. Tom sighed.

It was obviously pointless to continue studying like that, so he closed the book, got up, pressed Joelle against himself and walked off, growling lowly as heavy footsteps echoed in the corridors.

"Ridiculous. Haven't they seen a cat before?!" He hissed. "I need a room to study...it should be possible to be alone in this huge castle for once! Just one room for-" Tom frowned and stopped, standing in front of a door in the wall that surely wasn't there a second ago. Joelle must have thought the same, she meowed hectically.

"Did you see that? Did the door just simply appear?" He asked. Joelle nodded.

"That's interesting..." Tom grinned and slowly turned the doorknob while instinctively pressing Joelle closer to himself. The door opened with a loud creaking sound - and ahead of Tom was an empty classroom and plenty of bookshelves. Tom frowned and checked for a note outside the door - there usually was a schedule saying what kind of lessons were taught here and when - but there was nothing. He slipped in and closed the door.

"Maybe it's a new classroom. It doesn't look that new, though..." He murmured, letting Joelle down, transforming her back. Joelle looked around.

"I saw it forming a door the very moment you said that you wanted to study alone" she said softly and sat down on the table. Tom, meanwhile, observed the room and several bookshelves.

"Brilliant. I can study here with you then" he smiled while pulling out a book- but Joelle thrusted it back in, standing next to him.

"I think we should have a discussion about that Legilimency thing you were talking about. You are going too far, Marvolo. My thoughts belong to me and only me. They are private. Do we have that clear?"

Tom glowered at her. "You don't know the advantage yet. I could know what you want to say and that's just perfect while you are a cat!"

"Enough! You have to respect my choice! It's private, it's mine, you stay out of that!"

"Bryan!" Tom barked. "Bryan, right?!"

"Knock it off already."

"You can't forbid me to learn the technique."

"I'm not forbidding you to learn it. I'm forbidding you to use it on me. And I want you to know that I would be very disappointed to see you using that on somebody else..." She sighed. "Snowman, you don't need to do those things to know what people think. You are very intuitive as it is. Learn to connect with people instead of scanning their minds. Not only for their protection but also for yours. There might be things you encounter that you do not want to know..."

Tom just stood there with crossed arms, looking away. He shook his head.

"I like the thought of knowing where and whom you spend your mental energy on..."

"Marvolo, would you want me to do that to you?" Joelle asked gently. Tom said nothing, he merely looked up to her, then to the book, then to her again.

"Be fair..." Joelle sighed. "I'm here with you. What else do you want?" She tilted her head to the side in attempts to understand. Tom stared at her intensively, he looked into her eyes for a few seconds, but again, said nothing.

The next day was interesting. It was the 30th of December and, as announced, Professor Slughorn's invitation came during breakfast. He invited Tom and some other students over for a New Year's Eve party and, of course, dinner. Tom petted Joelle's head, then walked up to the plump man after breakfast.

"Professor Slughorn, Sir. Do you mind if I bring my cat? Joelle is very well trained, she will behave."

"Oh, certainly I don't mind it at all, Tom. The problem is, you see. Miss Jordan is allergic to cat hair, poor girl can't stay in her own common room at Ravenclaw and she had to change bedrooms because her roommate has a cat, took some time to discover it. Anyway, Miss Jordan is invited, Riddle, that's why it'd be best for your precious cat", he patted Joelle's head, "to stay at her dormitory."

Tom looked most disappointed, but he forced a smile. "I understand, Sir. Of course" he said, watching Slughorn walking off, his stomach always taking the lead of him. Tom growled lowly, pressed Joelle to himself s little tighter as he stomped upstairs to the room he discovered yesterday, growling loudly.

"Marvolo..." Sighed Joelle when Tom kicked against a bookshelf after transforming her back.

"Because some stupid girl is allergic to cat hair! One would think only muggles have to deal with those things, there must be a magical cure for that" his eyes swept over to the bookshelf, then shook his head.

"Pf, what do I care about her. She has to find out herself."

"Just pretend it's me who needs the cure" smiled Joelle, but Tom huffed again. "Nice try. I think-"

"It's okay for me not to go to the party. I could sleep a bit, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep. Every sound wakes me up at night, it's mostly Lestrange snoring. I'm not used to hearing so well as a cat."

"Yes, you clearly aren't used to hearing well..." Grumbled Tom.

"Marvolo!" Huffed Joelle. "You're mean" she sighed but chuckled when out of nowhere, Tom suddenly held a beautiful red rose in his hand that he gave to her. Joelle smiled and took it, bringing it to her nose to take in the natural scent while Tom seemed content with himself, watching her.

"It's so easy to make you happy. Just a flower..." Tom shook his head in disbelief.

"Oh why did you have to say that now?" Joelle huffed, half of her nose buried in the rose. Tom chuckled but shrugged, then looked away, his smile vanishing completely.

"Are you alright, snowman?" Asked Joelle.

"I will be twelve by tomorrow" said Tom, looking out of the window that allowed view into the beautiful landscape of Scotland.

"And that's a bad thing?" Asked Joelle along. Tom shrugged.

"Growing older happens so fast. Twelve years. Considering an average human is dead before his eightieth birthday..."

"Snowman...don't spend so much of your life thinking about death" she whispered, rubbing his shoulder gently. Tom glanced at her, then ahead again.

"I can't help it. Did you know that witches and wizards grow much older? You have visited enough biology courses to know what that means."

"Oh? What does it mean?" Asked Joelle, but it was more the kind of question that one would ask to hear the other's opinion.

"Only the fittest survive" Tom glanced at her. Joelle chuckled.

"And then they die" she said simply before turning around without the simplest of idea how much her words caused Tom's eyes to widen as he still stared out of the window, clinging tightly to the sill.

"Marvolo?" Asked Joelle. Tom cleared his throat, but he did not speak. Instead, he sat down and read something in a book.

"It's not that Legilimency stuff, is it?"

"No" said Tom. "I'm trying to find out what exactly this room is. So I'm reading _Hogwarts, a History_ again. All noteworthy rooms are mentioned, actually. So far...hm...seventh floor...let's see..."

Tom paged through the book for a long time, but couldn't find anything. Rubbing his chin, he put the book back and glanced over to Joelle, observing her closely while she became interested in some of them herself. Tom saw how she pulled out one that discussed unicorns, and he couldn't help but chuckle to himself. Joelle. Unicorns. _Of course._

"I'll read this in the common room while you're at the party" she smiled. Tom sighed, shaking his head.

"You believe that you're not coming with me?" He asked. Joelle frowned. "Well, what can we do? That girl is allergic to cat hair. And no, you can't bring a jellyfish to the party" Joelle giggled while Tom grinned. But of course he knew what to do. Why would somebody like Tom be okay with losing? Why would somebody like Tom accept the perspective that he could not have something his way? The problem, clearly so, was the girl. If somebody had to stay away from that party, it was her - and not _his_ Joelle. 

It couldn't get easier than that.

Walking downstairs, after transforming Joelle back into her cat form, Tom thought about possible ways of disposing of Jordan - even though he agreed to take the unicorn book with him. Joelle insisted, it seemed to mean a lot to her, and Tom needed to make her believe that she wouldn't be able to come with him. He was on the first floor when the staircase changed its direction and caused Tom to turn the other way, along a corridor he normally didn't walk off to - when he was sure that there it was again.

Tom stopped dead in his tracks, looking around, instinctively pressing Joelle closer against him. Where did that voice come from?

 **AN: I'm curious, how are you picturing Tom? Is it the boy from the film adaption or do you have a different picture in mind?**

 **Shoutout:**

 **The idea to create a room for Tom to study alone was inspired by Radiant Innocence : )**

 **One more thing:**

 **I can't thank you enough for the reviews so far! Feedback is so motivating and valuable - I love to hear what you guys think, I find it very inspiring! See you next chapter! : )**


	17. 1939

**Chapter 17: 1939**

 _Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail_ \- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tom walked back downstairs into the lonely common room, putting Joelle on a couch before he sat in the armchair himself, eyes narrowing in thoughts. That voice. He has heard it once before while studying in the library, but it was louder when he walked around the corridor. He couldn't really make out what it said, he just knew it was not a student or any other person. Then a thought hit him - and he instantly rolled his eyes. Of course. A ghost. It was that simple. Probably Peeves, that insufferable Poltergeist. He always disliked Peeves and his-

"MEOW!" Joelle screeched up shrilly and Tom's bubble of thoughts popped at once, he looked round to find her, and there she was, on the ground, Merlin above her with his paw raised and tail flicking to the left and right, growling at her, and Tom knew something bad happened. He jumped up and ran over to Joelle, pulling her into his arms while glaring at Merlin. He was about to get out his wand but Joelle whimpered while Tom pressed her against his chest; and when he looked closely she was bleeding. He frowned and thought no more about Merlin, instead he quickly ran into the dormitory, putting her on top of his bed where he transformed her back. Joelle winced, her hand went to her bloody forearm that Tom inspected carefully. The gash was deeper than expected.

"Don't worry, don't worry", he tried to calm her down. "I've practiced healing magic the first week I arrived, just in case I'd get into a duel with somebody. Shh..." Tom whispered, aiming the tip of his wand above the bloody wound.

"Vulnera Sanentur" he said, and at once, the gash closed as if it had never been there. Joelle watched it carefully with eyes reflecting awe when with "Ferula", Tom let a bandage appear around Joelle's forearm. She smiled brightly at him. "Amazing!"

"I'm sorry for not paying attention. That stupid cat, wait until I get him!"

"No, Marvolo. Don't hurt animals, please. He doesn't know better" she frowned, but Tom frowned back.

"He hurt you."

"He is a cat, don't be silly, I mean it. Don't hurt him." Joelle grumbled dangerously now, Tom knew that she really meant it; she downright adored animals.

"He will hurt you again when he gets the chance" murmured Tom. Joelle shook her head.

"Bring him here. But don't hurt him!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Tom rolled his eyes, walked out, then came back with Merlin in his arms. He put him down on the bed next to Joelle and she carefully held out her hand. Merlin sniffed on it, then stretched and purred to Joelle, bobbing his head against her. She smiled.

"So, you little meanie, why did you do that, hmm?" She asked and snickered when Merlin meowed and curled down next to her.

"And what exactly did that do?" Tom asked while rolling his eyes. "He likes you as a human but just you watch, he will try to make your life a hell when you're a cat."

"He won't." Joelle smiled. "You underestimate cats, snowman. He just didn't know what or who I was. We can learn a lot from cats."

"You mean that attacking you results in snuggles? Right..." Tom raised an eyebrow in disbelief, but he let Joelle have her joy. He liked to see her happy, and even though her attention was not brought to him, he did not see any advantage of ruining the moment now.

"Your arm doesn't hurt anymore, does it?" Asked Tom after a second. Joelle shook her head, rubbing her skin, poking it. "It's just a little sensitive, but that's about it. You've done a good job, snowman, I didn't even thank you properly. Come here and let me cuddle you!"

"No..." Tom huffed, looking away from her. He could feel her pout, but he grinned as he glanced over his shoulder, then ahead again. Joelle chuckled.

"I'll get my chance tomorrow when it's your birthday"

"Oh no..." Tom sighed. "I still have blisters from your kisses last year" he grumbled, remembering how Joelle simply wrapped her arms around him and sneaked her lips to his cheek where she kissed him a couple of times while he tried to squirm away. Tom sighed and rubbed his skin with the back of his hand at the memory, not amused at all, however, he didn't necessarily hate it.

After a while, his gaze swept over to Joelle again, watching her cuddling with Merlin, her eyes alight with joy. There it was again. Tom felt the pondering jealousy increasing drastically, it grabbed and shook him out of nowhere, telling him to draw her attention back.

"Joelle?" He asked. She looked up to him.

"Yes?" 

What now? Tom blinked, realizing he acted on sheer first instinct.

"I..." He stammered out, clearing his throat. "Nothing. I just like saying your name" he shrugged.

"Ah. Talking about names...why do your other friends address you as Tom by the way?"

"They're not my friends" said Tom at once, looking at her. "And...I don't want them to call me Marvolo. That name is just for you..." He murmured. Joelle looked at him attentively, smiling the next moment, but said no more.

Tom felt a little insecure later that evening. He found it a tad too strange that Joelle was so enormously compliant about staying here at Hogwarts. It was too good to be true, it left him with a feeling of suspicion towards Joelle. Perhaps she was awaiting the best moment to escape, perhaps Tom granted her too much freedom as it is. Then again, her smiling face was not fake - Tom always knew when somebody was insincere, he always knew when somebody did not tell the truth (even though he had to admit that it was particularly difficult to determine Joelle's intentions). Thinking about it a little more, he realized that he was not paranoid and that his suspicion came due to one incident that left him wondering: She did not want him to use Legilimency on her. Tom felt his heartbeat increasing drastically upon the thought of Joelle thinking about things he couldn't know of, didn't want him to know of. After all he had done for her it was the least she could do; allowing him full control. Tom chuckled sarcastically. She would never allow it. But that did not mean he would never try.

"Stay still, will you!" Tom rolled his eyes later, holding a comb in his hand, trying to pull Joelle back with the other.

"Your fur needs to be brushed, it's way too long. Joelle! Stop it. I will put you back into the cage if you don't stop squirming away!" He growled, causing Joelle to only hiss lowly. She was super angry, but that stopped as soon as Tom put the comb away and pulled Joelle into his arms, rubbing her sensitive head gently. He watched how she closed her eyes and listened to the quiet sound of purring that she fell asleep with, a cat grin on her face.

"Meow!" It squeaked the next morning. Tom grumbled, rolling over, pressing the pillow against the back of his head, hiding under it, but Joelle was inescapable. She started digging at the pillow, clawing on his arms, chewing on his hair, purring all over the place. Tom sighed. It was impossible to sleep now, so he got up with a nonchalant grin, holding Joelle up in the air to his eye level.

"Just what do you want?"

"Meow!"

"I don't understand that. Mind to elaborate?"

"Meow!"

Tom chuckled, then put her on the bed, waving his wand at her. Joelle transformed back and almost instantly tackled Tom down, squeaking "happy birthday!" while hugging him tightly. Tom sighed, closing his eyes when Joelle kissed his cheek with a big and fat smooch, letting go of him the next moment. He looked at her with his hair all messy, eyes tired, pale faced, but he seemed very content nonetheless. Obviously, growing older had its advantages.

"It's six in the morning. You're getting better" said Tom, checking the time. Joelle nodded proudly, then sighed. "Unfortunately, but that's your fault, you won't get a present from me today. It's still at the orphanage."

"I don't care about presents" shrugged Tom. He got what he wanted.

"Are you okay, dear?" Joelle asked while yawning. Tom watched her attentively, as if he could not allow her to do something without his awareness. He nodded.

"I'm okay" he said and rested against the back of the bed. On a second thought, he wasn't okay. He felt good. No, it was more than that. While he looked at Joelle sitting next to him watching the creatures swimming in the lake, Tom felt something else. She was here. They were home. He was _happy_.

It did not take a long time for the rest of the boys to wake up. Black and Avery yawned heartily while Lestrange sat up in confusion as always, causing Joelle to giggle again.

"Don't tell them" whispered Tom to Joelle when he saw she was about to say something. She glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "But-"

"I don't want them to spend time with me" he muttered sternly. Joelle looked down at Tom, then nodded, respecting his wish without further discussing.

"What happened to your arm, Joelle?" Asked Lestrange a minute later.

"Merlin" she said. Black looked over to her with a pale face. "He attacked you?" He asked with a frown, eyes widened, trying to avoid looking at Tom.

"When I was a cat, yeah. But he seems fine now" Joelle smiled. "Don't worry."

Black nodded, the color coming back to his face. He exhaled deeply, knowing that Tom was most strict when it came to his precious Joelle.

"Whoah mate...I have to finish my essay today, Slughorn's deadline is tomorrow!" Avery groaned. Black gasped. "I didn't finish it either!"

"Did you?" Joelle asked Tom.

"Finished it even before I came to the orphanage. I wanted to avoid that" he nudged his head to the side at Avery and Black panicky putting on their clothes, their ties hanging loose from their necks as they stumbled out of the dormitory. Tom shook his head.

"They're going to lose us house points..." Lestrange grumbled.

Tom nodded. "And we are in lead, l promised to myself that as long as I am at this school, Slytherin will always win." He got up from the bed. "Stay here, Joelle. I will be back. I have to tell these two troublemakers to fix themselves..." He swung his wand at her and she turned back into a cat, then nodded at Lestrange, who instantly followed without questioning anything.

"I am not going to find Black and Avery."

Tom murmured once they were out of the common room, his voice sounding colder. Lestrange looked at him, not quite understanding what they'd do now.

"Then...what are we up to?" He asked.

"I don't know if _we_ are up to anything. I don't know if I can trust you with my plan now..." Mumbled Tom while walking upstairs and Lestrange followed him hectically, excitedly talking into Tom's ear.

"Of course! I'm trustworthy!" He gasped. Tom stopped walking, he turned around to Lestrange, nodding after a moment of silence.

"Fine. I was...going to visit a girl. Her last name is Jordan. I've seen her at Slugclub...she's a third year Gryffindor."

"What are we going to do?" Asked Lestrange with a grin.

"Give her a little present" said Tom, pulling out a tiny dark box with a bow. He opened the lid and showed it to Lestrange - but the latter did not understand. He didn't see anything at first, but then, there, he noticed something.

"Are those...?"

"Cat hair. Joelle's" Tom explained when Lestrange still didn't understand.

"Jordan is allergic to cat hair. I've been collecting some since I came to know. Been brushing Joelle's fur yesterday evening, she wasn't fond of that."

Lestrange almost burst out laughing at the imagination. "And it's just a little prank?" He asked.

Tom raised an eyebrow. "No", he shook his head, "I don't have time for pranks. Jordan has to stay away. I want to take Joelle with us to Slughorn, I don't want her to be alone all evening. And I can't take her with me as long as Jordan plans to come. So. Do you understand my little tight schedule here? I need to find this girl."

Lestrange gasped feverishly. "I will help you! What can I do?" He walked up and stood in front of Tom, who looked back in concentration, rubbing his chin.

"Hmm...I don't know, Lestrange. This is important. It would require a lot of skill and devotion to find that girl...and then the allergic reaction...I'm not sure if you're the right person for that" Tom walked past him, but Lestrange frowned and stood in front of Tom again.

"Give me the box" he said full of determination. Tom raised an eyebrow, then pulled out the box and handed it over.

"You will see. You can visit that Jordan girl in the hospital wing later if you'd like" Lestrange smirked, then walked off in a hurry - Tom watched him aiming upstairs, a slight grin on his face as he stretched and rested his arms behind his head. It was too easy. Always way too easy.

"I'm back Joelle." Said Tom, sitting on his bed with a sigh.

"Joelle?" He asked, looking around. Where was she? She always came to him when he entered the dormitory. Tom's eyes widened as he noticed that she wasn't in here. He waved his wand, levitated everything up to see if she was hiding under the covers or pillows, maybe even in her cage. Nothing. Tom's nervousness increased from zero to one hundred, his heart raced rapidly while he ran out of the dormitory. And then there was panic.

"JOELLE?!" Tom yelled, eyes widened. He never felt this scared before. He was about to run out when he saw a handful of a black furred cat on the black couch in the common room. She yawned and looked up, meowing at him. Tom felt nauseated as soon as he saw her; not because he was disgusted by her, but because finding her erased all of his fear, leaving him with nothing but the hollow aftertaste of anxiety. He never wanted to feel it again.

"Joelle..." He sighed and flopped down on the couch, now seeing she was cuddled to Merlin. Tom frowned in surprise.

"You were right. You do get along now" he said, steadily calming down again, but a thought did not leave his mind.

"Hm. Joelle..." Tom raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. Joelle ducked a little at his tone.

"How did you get out of the dormitory?" Tom asked, pulling Joelle up from her curled up position, holding her to his eye level. She perked her ears back and lowered her head. Tom shook her a little to make her look up to him again.

"Did you open the door?" He asked. Joelle was quiet, resulting in Tom hovering her a little higher so she would look into his eyes once more. She meowed lowly.

"Did you jump on the door handle?" Tom asked. Again, Joelle meowed lowly.

"What shall I do with you?" He sighed, packing her away into his arms and started making his way upstairs with her, disappearing into the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Where is Lestrange?" Asked Nott, looking around for everyone. Tom did not answer but instead put some food down on the bench for Joelle and left the Great Hall as soon as they were done eating. He hated pointless conversations.

"I don't want you to do that again" said Tom as soon as he transformed Joelle back in their newly found study-room. She sighed, crossing her arms as she leaned against the wall while Tom aimed towards a book shelf.

"Did you hear me?" He asked her, turning around. "I think it's quite nice of me to let you walk around freely in the dormitory."

"Marvolo, we have deal, don't we? I promised I would give your world a chance. But you need to give me a chance, too."

Tom stared at her, and even though he knew she was right, he was terrible at admitting it. Thinking about being wrong was something that did not fit in his concept of the world.

"I don't care!" He suddenly barked. "We will stick to my rules! We will go out when I deem the time is right."

"You don't trust me" frowned Joelle. "You think l will run away. I've seen your panicked face."

Tom glowered at her, turning around before he could give away the red color starting to show on his pale skin. He hated to be weak.

"I won't run away, snowman. Not without a reason at least" Joelle snickered, but Tom didn't respond with a smile; he threw her a harsh glare.

"You won't run away at all" he said in a promising tone that gave Joelle enough information on her current and future status.

He wouldn't let her go.

Not at all.

It was one of those moments of realization which caused this unstoppable and unbearable silence that left Tom in the belief of having lost more than he has ever gained. If he had to describe it with a flavor, he would say it was sour, enormously sour, leaving him to shake his head at the mere thought of Joelle distancing herself from him. And then it burnt - like a hot spice, his whole body felt on fire when he realized that once more, things might have changed between them.

"Where the hell were you?! I've been trying to find you ever since Joelle is taking a nap! Did you manage it?!" Tom hissed when he saw Lestrange entering the common room later. Lestrange raised his hands, smirking, then burst out laughing.

"Pfhaha! You should see Jordan's face! She's in the hospital wing, looks really awful, but I promised I'd make it." He flopped down on the couch, content with himself. Tom raised an eyebrow; maybe Lestrange wasn't the idiot he thought him to be.

"Well done, Lestrange. Well done...I shall remember this in the near future" Tom complimented dryly and ignored Lestrange's attempts to tell him how exactly he managed to do it, and so he simply walked over into the dormitory to break down the news to Joelle.

"Joelle? Hey. Wake up. We can go to the party. Remember that Jordan girl? You see, she caught a huge flu and can't attend. I'm not sad about it, it means you can come with me." He picked Joelle up into his arms and walked off.

The evening could have been enormously interesting had there not been one particular condition that caused Tom to grit his teeth all the while sitting around Slughorn's richly filled table. Sylus Farley, the Slytherin prefect Joelle has met when she brought Tom to King's Cross in September, sat in front of him and looked forbiddingly good. Tom's eyes narrowed at his opposite, he hated how Sylus showed off nothing but raw elegance combined with the right amount of arrogant coldness that came from his light eyes and complimented his dark hair perfectly. Those were the things Tom knew Joelle saw in Sylus the first time she laid her eyes on him - and it was no secret that Tom tried everything to prevent Joelle from seeing him again. It was a tad difficult to do that since Sylus was in the same house, but it wasn't impossible. Until now.

"So children! I see that in ten minutes we will have left 1938 behind and shall embrace our new year of 1939! Farley, tell me, any plans for the new year?" Professor Slughorn asked.

"Oh yes, Sir", Sylus smiled. "But I am a strong believer of misfortune coming when wishes are spoken out loud, I shall keep it to myself, professor."

"Ah! Oh! No problem, son, no problem! Words of wisdom. How about you, Tom? Are you going to tell me?"

"Of course, Sir. Unlike others, I won't let my success depend on sheer superstition." Said Tom sharply, ignoring the frown coming from Sylus; especially when some other people chuckled.

"Then what are your plans, Riddle?" Sylus asked with a glare. "Buying a pillow for your cat?"

Silence. 

Tom glared, the tension was even visible for Joelle, who was cuddled on Tom's lap quietly and observed everything with attention. She looked up to Tom, helping him out by meowing loudly so that to everyone it seemed like she understood the thing about the pillow and was very fond of that idea. Tom smirked, patting Joelle's head, then looked at Sylus with a calm but collected expression.

"My goal is to know everything about magic." Tom spoke gently, nipping on his cup of tea. Slughorn was about to say something, but the starting countdown from around him drew his attention to the clock.

"Ten...nine...eight..." 

Tom and Sylus still stared at each other.

"Seven...six...five...four..."

Tom looked at Joelle.

"Three..two...ONE! Happy New Year!" Cheered Slughorn and everyone else joined his happiness, clapping and congratulating one another and even hugging. Just Tom kept on sitting where he was, looking down at Joelle in a thought.

He had a strange feeling that 1939 would be the year of changes.

Yes, Tom knew it. There was something waiting for him. Good or bad, he did not know.

 **AN: Happy New Year to you guys, too! We will see each other in 2016!**


	18. Paranoia

**Chapter 18: Paranoia**

 _There is no such thing as paranoia. Your worst fears can become true at any moment._ \- Hunter S. Simpson

Days passed. A new year has begun and that feeling of change was lingering in the air. Tom felt provoked by destiny and used to pick up a couple of fights during the past few days, he was oddly strict and intolerant towards anything around him, especially when it came to Joelle. Today was one of those days, too.

"Because I don't want you to walk around in the common room. I want you to stay in the dormitory. I'm not going to further discuss this with you." Tom grumbled lowly, crossing his arms. Joelle just sighed.

"Remember that we have a deal. That's all I'm going to say" she shrugged, but Tom narrowed his eyes at her.

"I said we won't further discuss this," Tom murmured, about to say something else, but Joelle cut him off.

"Watch it, Marvolo", she stated firmly and none of them spoke another word.

Change. What a foolish condition. Change meant adjusting the plans for Tom - and he hated everything he couldn't control. So when young Tom lay in his bed later that night, he was completely unaware of the shock that awaited him the next morning.

"Tom!" Panted Avery running into the Great Hall, sitting down to Tom while trying to catch his breath. "Here, here, look!" He whispered exasperatedly. Tom glanced up from his plate, staring at Avery.

"What do I care about the muggle newspaper?"

"Mom always sends it to me, read! Please!" Avery pleaded.

Tom raised an eyebrow and pulled the newspaper out of Avery's hand, shaking his head in annoyance as he started to read. His eyes widened. No. No. No.

"She has been reported as missing..." Tom whispered and stared into the distance. Avery nodded, pulling away the newspaper when he noticed that Sylus Farley had begun to read the article with concentration.

"That girl," said Sylus, pointing to Joelle's picture, "isn't she the one who accompanied you to the train, Riddle?"

"No", Tom shook his head. "That picture from the newspaper doesn't look anything like her."

"Hm." Sylus rubbed his strong jawline. "Who was she anyway? Your sister?"

"I don't think that's your business, Farley," Tom grumbled and walked off with so much anger boiling inside him that he did not know where to go with it. This was one of the changes that Tom was afraid of. He glared and stormed into his dormitory, closing the door with such a loud thud that Joelle jumped up from her sleeping position.

"I knew this would happen..." Tom hissed, transforming her back.

"What happened?" Joelle asked, rubbing her eyes. She was still half asleep. Tom stared at her for a few seconds, then decided against telling her. It might awake her longing for home.

"Too excited," said Tom. "That's all. It will be better soon, I'm sure. School is going to start tomorrow. I'm excited for you to see the lessons."

"I'm excited to watch you flying on a broomstick," Joelle grinned but Tom shook his head immediately.

"No way I'm letting you see that. No. No, Joelle! Stop grinning like a cat. No." He shook his head again, causing Joelle to chuckle lowly before she sighed, turning her face away. Tom noticed that something was wrong. His heart started to race again. What if she wants to leave?

"What is it? You said you weren't hungry earlier," he asked.

"It's not that," Joelle sat down on the bed, pulling her legs up.

"You miss somebody," Tom stated knowingly but with no color in his voice yet.

"I miss somebody, yes..." said Joelle with a forced smile. She was about to explain, but Tom's red head was close to exploding when he hissed.

"It's Bryan, isn't it!"

"Snowman...you can't expect me to forget everything and-"

"I can! I forget, too!" Tom almost yelled, his voice raising slightly. He sat down in front of Joelle. "You don't understand what I've done for us, do you? Do you understand? Bryan. Perfect Bryan! What did he ever do for you to justify his position in your mind?!"

Joelle just sighed, turning her face away. Tom wanted to yell at her again, but he was wiser than that.

"Answer me," he said.

"He's my friend," Joelle sighed.

"You don't need friends" Tom grumbled through gritted teeth, but Joelle merely smiled.

"Are we not friends?" She asked. Tom thought about it, but little did he know that he would not, and probably never, find an answer to this simple question. Joelle? His friend? But if she wasn't his friend, then what was she? What was left between them? Tom leaned back, and for once had to admit that there was no single term for their condition at all. He liked it. Whatever they were, whatever they had, it was, in a positive way, undefinable. It was uncommon. It was _special._

"Good morning students," greeted the cheerful voice of Professor Slughorn the next day. School has started again. Joelle was cuddled in Tom's lap as always, having become quite the attraction during the previous lessons. Professor Slughorn had no problem at all with allowing Tom his cat because he has rarely seen a cat this disciplined and intuitive towards their human master. Tom grinned proudly, ruffling through Joelle's fur as she sniffed on a potion that he started brewing.

"Oh! By the way!" Said Slughorn while whirling around upon a memory. "I will hand out the essays I had received before the holidays and collect those due for today."

Some groaning erupted from Joelle's left side; Nott, Mulciber and Lestrange seemed to have forgotten another assignment, which Slughorn very well noticed as soon as he came closer to their table and, with a pitiful smile, gave them some evenings of detention before moving on over to Tom and Joelle.

"Excellent work, Riddle. Your skills for research and critical thinking are exquisite. Keep up the good work. And twenty points for Slytherin! Ah, can't wait to read this one" Slughorn collected Tom's new essay and walked off. Joelle purred, kneading against Tom's stomach with her paws and nuzzled down again.

If only that pressing feeling of change would not linger in Tom's head he would be in a better mood. Those stupid people. Stupid Mrs. Cole. Stupid Mr. Cole. Why were they looking for Joelle? After all, she, well he, left them a letter, saying she would be okay and didn't want anyone come looking for her. Tom was not worried about _The Daily Prophet_ releasing an article as well - what did they care about a person being missed in the muggle world when they had their own population to worry about? Tom just knew one thing. He could never let Joelle go back now that she has been reported as missing. And he needed to seriously take care of those who knew who Joelle truly was. His eyes wandered over to his male classmates, then ahead again, listening to Slughorn's instructions.

It was true. Joelle did not get to see Tom flying on a broomstick because he made sure to bring her back down into the dungeons before class. Cuddled to Merlin, the both of them jumped up with bushy tails. There was noise coming from the common room.

"Nobody will mention Joelle's name...and if one of you dares to tell anyone who Joelle is...or where...she is..." Tom growled dangerously, eyes glowing red.

"You will regret it. And trust me, I will find each one of you, no matter where you are - and I shall make you and your families suffer for your treachery. Have I made myself clear?" Tom had his wand pointed at Lestrange and Mulciber whose backs were pressed against the wall, nodding with a whimpering sound. To their feet lay Nott and Black cowering in pain.

Tom was about to say something else, but glanced back and quickly stalked off when he heard somebody marching in. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Sylus Farley.

Time has passed. By the end of January, the only place Tom transformed Joelle back was in "their" room up on the seventh floor that only appeared when thinking about it. Tom has never found out the right term for it, but he didn't care, he knew it was there for them and that's all that mattered.

As usual, they were currently busy studying together. Tom had taken the time to lean back and stare at Joelle reading; something he has been doing for a while. Not only this afternoon, but in general. He liked to sit and watch how she moved, how she glanced around, how her lips formed the words. He found it very intriguing how she handled situations or how she reacted, and inwardly commented all of her gestures and quirks. For instance he noticed that Joelle preferred to smile without her teeth; even though they were perfectly alright and Tom actually liked her toothy smile. Another thing that he noticed about her was how she tilted her head to the side when listening to him, which was another reason for Tom to think that she knew how to make him feel like nothing else mattered.

"I really like unicorns," she suddenly said. Tom sighed with a nod, he didn't expect anything else.

"Surely you would have a unicorn hair for your wand's core. Seems like that'd be your match," said Tom. "I see nothing else that could work for you. Anyway..." He sighed, feeling bored. He glanced over to the bookshelf again, cautiously pulling out the Legilimency book while Joelle was still busy reading about unicorns. Tom liked the strong contrast of interests - but he could not help it. Despite Joelle's clear position, he had to learn the technique, to infiltrate people's minds, to make sure to recognize the slightest of displaced thought that could rip him and Joelle apart. He wouldn't allow it to happen.

He couldn't.

One should think that, as time passed, Tom would have calmed down by the point of mid March, but he did not. He became so controlling that he locked Joelle into her cage whenever he was not there, which was the case during the flying lessons and especially the Transfiguration lessons; it was clear from the start that Tom would never take Joelle with him to put her under Dumbledore's curious nose - the old man had a mysterious talent for seeing through most things.

"Very proficient usage of our latest chapter's charms, Tom," said Professor Dumbledore after class; Tom was last to pack his things up.

"Thanks for your kind words, Sir," said Tom dryly, about to leave, but he stopped dead in his tracks when Dumbledore continued.

"Especially the transfiguration of the hamster. Dare I confess my wondering about a certain topic? You see, my colleagues speak highly of the interactions between you and your cat during their lessons - and l ask myself why has Tom never brought the cat here into my classroom where it makes most sense to bring it?"

Tom gulped, not yet responding to Dumbledore. His fists subconsciously clenched, but he turned around with a gentle smile.

"I don't bring her to the flying lessons either, professor. I can assure you it has absolutely nothing to do with you, of course. I might be a tad too scared that one of my transfiguration attempts may hurt my cat."

"Someone like you, whose spells and charms have never gone wrong?" Asked Dumbledore. Tom felt how his innards started to burn. Dumbledore asked too much, implied too much.

"My cat means a lot to me, Sir. I just don't want anything bad to happen. I'm sorry, but I must go now. I need to do research for Professor Binns' essay," smiled Tom.

Dumbledore did not respond the smile at first, but eventually did. "I see, Tom. Off you go. Ah, Minerva, how can I help you?" Dumbledore turned around to a girl walking into the classroom. Tom saw her playing for Gryffindor's Quidditch team. He did not care much about the sport, but he remembered well when McGonagall was the reason for Slytherin's downfall two weeks ago - of course he disliked her ever since. If only he had enough time to trouble his mind about the painful loss of the match, he would think about a plan to make McGonagall's life a little less enjoyable, but all he could think of was Dumbledore's words. Did the old man know something, or was Tom exaggerating, overthinking, _paranoid_? 

Tom needed time to think. He aimlessly walked around in the castle, passing by the first floor, then stopped when he thought he heard somebody saying something, but no one was close. He looked round, to the left and right, then jumped back when something moved.

"Itty bitty Riddle, looking so little! Little, poor Riddle!" Peeves the poltergeist suddenly sang along while flying above Tom's head. Tom glared up to Peeves, but said nothing as he proceeded his way upstairs, ignoring the song that echoed throughout the whole castle.

"What's wrong little itty bitty Riddle? Don't you like the song? Peeves can move along! Tom doesn't like the song!" Peeves sang and cheered, flying around Tom, but the latter still ignored him.

"Making Riddle sad? What a shame, Peeves will sing about somebody else, will you tell me your cat's name?" Peeves laughed heartily and that's when Tom stopped walking. Out of nowhere, his m heart started beating so fast that the world around him began to spin, the staircase changed its direction, Tom clung to the stony surface, kneeling down onto the steps, he felt dizzy, he felt sick, but had an uncontrollable urge to destroy Peeves, to find a spell useful enough to make him disappear for good.

With his eyes flickering red, he stared up to the poltergeist; it gasped and flew higher.

"The devil lives, it lives right here!" yelled Peeves and flew off in fear. Tom's fingers stiffened around the staircase, his skin was paler than snow, his breathing strong and heavy. He stormed up to the seventh corridor, wishing for nothing more than to delve into the forbidden fruits of dark magic.

Why it set him off so much? Tom himself had only an idea. The fact that Peeves asked for Joelle's name - the tiny chance that Peeves would sing her name so loud that Dumbledore could hear it. Tom was careful not to say her name outside the dungeons - for good reasons.

Dumbledore knew Joelle, he possibly knew how close they were, he surely knew Joelle was missing, he knew Tom got a new cat days after she has been reported as missing, he knew that Tom was a proficient user of Transfiguration. And if Dumbledore **then** came to know that Tom had a cat called Joelle...No. Tom couldn't stand the thought.

He growled in destructive anger, still feeling dizzy, walking into their study room. He sighed when he flopped down on a chair, running his hands through his hair while his knee wobbled up and down. He exhaled deeply, closing his eyes, but frowned as soon as he opened them again.

The bookshelves looked different. Instead of the usual blank and wooden brown, they were now dark and had decorated pediments on top. Tom scowled and got up, walking over to them, inspecting a random section.

Theory of Black Magic.

Necromancy: How to Curse the Dead.

Killing Vampires and Werewolves.

Avada Kedavra, Imperio, Crucio: Legal Until Caught.

Tom's eyes lit up. His face turned into a grimace of mischievous joy. Something or someone wanted him to find this room with these books. Something or someone chose him, he knew it. He reached out his hand, but withdrew it when somebody entered his mind. Joelle would never want him to read any of these things. Tom narrowed his eyes, refusing to listen to her reasoning. Did she not know that she was the reason why?

"I'm doing this for us...Life is complex - so are actions. And they say the future can't be determined, tsk. I shall cover every opportunity, and then, Joelle Cole, you show me how you can escape..." Tom whispered to himself as he pulled out a book.

"Soul Binding: The Unbreakable Bond."

 **AN: oh Tom...**

I


	19. Praise Me

**Chapter 19: Praise Me**

 _I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion_ \- Alexander the Great

Tom's mood increased drastically. There was no sign of Joelle leaving him anytime soon - but still he started studying the extremely difficult subject of Soul Binding. It was highly complex and it required basics he did not yet know, but he was sure that he could do it. He never lacked in determination and eagerness when necessary, but his best asset (by choice) was his ability to control what needed to be controlled. It was one of his most valuable skills, which brought him to another thought. His eyes wandered over to Lestrange and Black in the common room - he had not talked a lot to the boys after their brief and heated encounter back then. Tom rubbed his chin, nodding at a thought.

"You two," he started and sat down close to them. "I was a tad strict, wasn't I?" He asked with a sigh. Lestrange and Black glanced at each other, then at Tom again, not seeming to know what the best answer was.

"You have to understand some things. Joelle means a lot to me. Let me make it up to you..." Tom leaned closer to talk silently, as if the next thing would be exclusive to hear. The boys leaned closer with their ears as well.

"I found a nice room to study in. Study...some things that we may not learn anywhere else. I could teach you one or the other spell," murmured Tom.

Black and Lestrange both had their mouths gapped open, their eyes alight with excitement.

"Would you really?" Asked Lestrange.

"Of course. Just you two and a few other chosen ones. Nott, Mulciber, and Avery. That's it...you have done a lot for me and I wanted to reward you," smiled Tom, though having trouble suppressing a smirk when they nodded feverishly.

Did he really reward them? Of course not. Tom was no idiot. He knew that if he wanted to control everything, he had to mobilize others, too. He had to give those boys enough of a reason to be loyal to him whenever he had a request - and one way to make sure of that was showing them why it was beneficial to team up with him. True, Tom never needed anyone - but that didn't exclude taking advantage of the resources he had.

"Hey sleepy head..." Tom whispered to Joelle the next morning. She had fallen asleep in his bed in her human form, looking up with a hearty yawn.

"Snowman..." She smiled. Tom handed over an apple for her.

"Thanks," she took it, not yet biting into it, however. She was still too tired.

"Lestrange had a lot of fun watching you sleeping," murmured Tom. "I caught him staring when I came back from the shower."

Joelle chuckled. "I fell asleep when you transformed me back earlier. The bed just looked so cozy and warm."

"Just five minutes, right?" Tom asked with a grin and Joelle laughed. She was a punctual, detail-oriented, and fairly formal person when it came down to it, but getting up early in the mornings was never a talent of hers; which was why Tom decided to just let her sleep and bring her breakfast instead of waking her up again.

"Joelle, I want you to write a letter," said Tom suddenly. Joelle looked up curiously.

"A letter? To whom?"

"To Bryan..." Said Tom calculatedly. Joelle raised an eyebrow.

"You are asking me to send a letter to Bryan? What? Are we speaking the same language?" Joelle asked with eyes wide open, a smile decorating her face.

"Just the same..." Grinned Tom. There was some silence. Joelle nodded, lowering her head.

"It's been sixteen weeks...I have been here for sixteen weeks now..." She whispered.

"What are sixteen weeks..." Tom grumbled. "Nothing compared to eternity."

"Who would compare anything to eternity?" Asked Joelle.

"Seems about the right point of reference for me," muttered Tom. "Anyway. Here," he ripped out a page of his diary. He couldn't let her write on some parchment. It had to look as muggle-like as possible, and with the diary having been purchased in muggle London, it was as authentic as possible. He handed over black ink and a quill.

"I want you to write that you're okay. Don't mention where you are. Say you didn't want to be found, that's why nobody has heard of you. You know, the general blah blah."

Joelle looked up to him. She did not seem as happy as before. Tom had an idea why, but looked back at her. Of course this wasn't an act of generosity - it was an act of necessity. They had to hear from her, just to avoid bigger trouble. Tom wanted Joelle to write to Bryan - not because he thought that Bryan deserved it most, but because Bryan works at the police department, thus having the opportunity to instantly stop the forces that might be looking for Joelle. Tom knew he should have thought of this a lot earlier, but assuming that they could be better than him was out of his mental reach.

 _Dear Bryan,_

 _I'm sorry for having caused you so much sorrow. I am fine, I did not want anyone to find me for some time (I am currently busy finding myself). I hope you're alright. Tell everyone that they shouldn't be worrying - I'm okay and I will come back somewhen._

 _In hope that everything is okay,_

 _Joelle_

Tom nodded after checking it, taking the letter. He put it into an envelope and did not include a sender's address.

"I'll take it to the Owlery tomorrow," said Tom. Joelle looked up to him, but remained quiet. She might have seen through his intention, but never was it mentioned that she did.

Days passed. Tom had to witness the happiness running out of Joelle's body like a rose starting to decay. She was not impolite, nor did she ignore him, but Tom noticed the loss of enthusiasm and energy. He often caught her spacing off, staring against the wall for a while, merely nodded or shook her head at anything Tom asked. And then there was this feeling of helplessness that Tom found no place for to live in his body - he hated this feeling, he knew no other that he liked least. What could he do now? What was it that she needed? Tom couldn't be happier - but Joelle obviously thought of better things than what he had offered to her. Anger swelled up in his chest. What an unthankful person she was. He narrowed his eyes at her when she was tucked in his bed in her human form, eyes blank, the corners of her lips in a straight line. He couldn't stand it, but didn't comment.

"I want you to accompany me tonight, Joelle," Tom then said.

No reaction.

"Did you not hear?" Tom asked with a scowl. Joelle looked up.

"Hm?"

"I want you to accompany me tonight. I thought about leaving you here in the dormitory, but I can't leave you here in that sour condition of yours," said Tom. "You will be close to me. I will teach the boys some spells, give them some extra help. They need it."

Joelle looked at Tom. "You're doing that just to be kind?" She asked, a slight smile started to grow on her face.

Tom stared, nodding without losing poise. If she wanted to hear this, so be it. "Yes. I care for my fellow comrades, of course."

Joelle's smiled vanished again, her eyebrows twitched together for the split of a second, but she said nothing. She merely nodded.

"Alright. I will come with you then," she said. Tom inwardly frowned - he didn't give her any choice in the first place, but if she agreed anyway, it did not really matter.

"Whoah!" Lestrange yelped. "This room is crazy!"

"Look at the many books...are they from the restricted section?" Asked Black.

"The shelves look so old, look at that!" Nott smirked, pointing at the pediment's center. The boys were downright impressed; Tom bathed in their praises of awe upon his finding. Just one person did not like it at all.

Joelle had her right arm swung around her left in discomfort, she glanced to all directions, probably wondering where her beloved unicorn books had gone. Tom felt a cringe of aggression towards her for standing there the way she did - lulling her eyes at the darkness. It took him a while to realize that he merely found it unbearably cute.

"Take your right arm up, forehead height - higher, Lestrange. Good. Bend forward slightly, that'll allow you to focus better," said Tom. Joelle watched everything with utmost curiosity, her eyes reflecting the boys's attempts of doing as Tom said. She smiled to herself when she watched how he did not seem to run out of patience - and Tom looked back every so often to catch if she was being attentive. He felt enormously motivated when he saw that she carried a smile of pride on her lips, but that vanished when Tom performed the curse that he tried to teach them.

"Exsto Cranium," he spoke, and everything around them turned pitch black. Out of the eery and cold darkness appeared green glowing, almost translucent skulls with red eyes that lit up the room enough to see where everyone was standing. Tom sent the skull at Black - but Tom did not see what else happened as a loud screeching sound caused him to whirl around; Joelle reached to the door and dashed out in panic. Tom's mouth gapped open - the door wasn't locked, but he did not care about punishing the others for this now as all that was on his mind was to run after Joelle as fast as possible and turn her back into a cat before anyone could see her. It all went in slow motion when Tom pushed away Lestrange and Mulciber, running after Joelle as fast as he could. The castle was dark - and the students were in their dormitories because it was late in the evening, but Tom's logical thinking did not work properly as he followed her. He saw her dashing downstairs; he wanted to scream and yell her name, but even in this state he knew that it was the unwisest thing to do. Peeves, Dumbledore - too high of a risk. Tom ran and ran, but Joelle was faster, she aimed to the dungeons, Tom on her heels. He heard her muttering the so often heard password from below, and when he finally managed to reach the common room, he noticed that it was dark and nobody was there. Tom glanced over to the dormitory and instantly hurried in, seeing Joelle on his bed with her back turned to him.

The only sound that Tom could hear was the strong and rapid pondering of his heart against his chest - all his blood went to his head, his fingertips felt ice cold, his stomach on fire, eyes glowing red, not a single sound was he able to make. Tom never felt this level of anger before in his entire life. His hand clung around his wand, he gritted his teeth, all of it happened within seconds when he aimed his wand at her - directing all of his wrath to her direction, he had no single idea what kind of incantation it was, what kind of curse - all he knew was that she had dared to put everything he has done for them at risk by refusing to praise him like the boys did up in the room and run away. Joelle yelped, a flash of red light jolted her way, but she managed to turn around just in time and duck before it could hit her.

"MARVOLO!"

"HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU!" Tom yelled, outraged, unable to say more than that.

"HOW DARE I? HOW DARE YOU USE THAT KIND OF MAGIC!" Joelle yelled back. Tom stared at her with a ghostly expression.

"I DO IT FOR US!" He yelled.

"Don't you! DON'T YOU USE ME AS AN EXCUSE! DO YOU EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT CALCULATING YOUR ADVANTAGES?"

"WHO WOULD?!" Growled Tom. "YOU SHOULD START THINKING FOR ONCE! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SEEN WHEN YOU RAN! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" He screamed, feeling cloudy headed, throwing his fist against a snake-decorated column. Joelle just stared at him with wide eyes, her chest heaving up and down in shock and fear.

"You should've stayed! Should've praised me like the others upon the magic I can perform! And you decided to run! I can't believe it...you risked everything..." Tom panted like an animal, he aimed his wand at her again, but as the door behind him flung open suddenly, and he just managed to look back quickly and forward again, Joelle was transformed into a cat already.

"What is going on here!" Thundered Sylus Farley, frowning at Tom, then looked at the cat. He stared at Joelle intensively before he drew his gaze to the boy once more.

"Explain yourself!"

"I got angry over a falsely graded essay!" Growled Tom. "Leave."

"Careful, Riddle. You're in no position to tell me where to go. In case you didn't notice, I am a prefect. And as such, you will show respect and acknowledge me as the authority."

"Authority," grinned Tom. "A guy whose only interest consists of staring at the well shaped bottoms of any girl he passes by, a guy who couldn't be less a Slytherin with those few OWLs, a guy unable to beat a Gryffindor in a simple match of Quidditch - is that the authority I'm asked to show respect to?"

Silence. Sylus and Tom stared at each other and Tom felt a lot better now that he put this idiot of a man down; it was venting his anger one or the other way.

"Watch it, Riddle," glared Sylus. "I am going to report your behavior to professor Slughorn-"

"Are you sure about that?" Chuckled Tom humorlessly. "I would feel embarrassed running to our head of house, whining about how I confronted you with my personal opinion on your questionable achievements as a Slytherin."

"You listen here you little!" Sylus growled through gritted teeth, grabbing Tom around the collar of his uniform, but gasped when Joelle jumped between them and started hissing, clawing and biting on Farley's hand. Sylus groaned in pain and threw Joelle onto the bed, she landed on it with all four legs, an arched back and bushy fur, still growling shrilly at the prefect. Sylus just shook his head in disbelief of this situation and merely stormed off without another word. Tom, who had fallen to the ground after Sylus let go of his collar so abruptly, glanced up at Joelle, then smiled.

Be it as it may, but nobody touches her little snowman.

Some time passed. Tom started to take Joelle to the lessons again, trusting everything a tad more than he used to. When he looked back at the past few weeks, he even had a slight feeling of having had exaggerated everything. As if any person could ever take Joelle away from him - unable people. And with Tom preparing an army of guards, he was sure that nothing would happen. The only thing that he disliked most was the fact that he had to leave Joelle in the room whenever he was teaching the boys; because she downright refused to see any of it, and needless to say that she forbade him to delve into the dark arts. Tom promised her that they only studied those spells they learned during the lessons, but he was sure that Joelle did not buy it. She may be very lenient towards Tom, but she was not blind, and Tom knew he could only go so far with her.

Today was one of those evenings again. Joelle was cuddled on Tom's bed in the dormitory, and despite Tom's assumption, her mood decreased drastically with every day that she spent here. She did not even look to the door when it opened and ignored Tom who walked inside, and had her back turned to him when he transformed her to her human form.

"I'm not in the mood to talk..." She said softly.

"Really? What a shame...because I believe we do have to talk," said a voice that didn't sound like Tom at all. Joelle's eyes widened, she turned around and looked into the pale eyes of Sylus Farley.


	20. Another Turn

**Chapter 20: Another Turn**

 _Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans_ \- John Lennon

"So it is indeed you," said Sylus Farley, glancing at Joelle. She was standing in the distance, no sound coming from her at first.

"How..." Joelle then asked, pressing herself against the wall. Sylus said nothing but he tilted his head to the side as if to make sure that he was seeing right.

"I knew I heard a female voice. I was sure I saw you when he transformed you into a cat. We have met before at-"

"King's Cross. Of course I remember," said Joelle. Sylus shook his head at her.

"I can't believe it," he lowered his wand and stood in front of her, searching for her eyes because Joelle kept trying to break the contact.

"Don't be scared," said Sylus. "I won't hurt you. In fact, I had hoped to meet you again ever since that day..." He spoke in a low murmur. Joelle merely looked at him, then turned her face away.

"I'm at your mercy. Don't tell a soul. Please," she said. The silence did not last for long, Sylus carefully walked closer, taking Joelle's hands and moved backwards; sitting down on the bed with her.

"A brilliant, yet effective idea. Forgive my curiousness, Miss Cole. That's your name, right?"

Joelle nodded, wondering how he knew her last name, but remembered that she had introduced herself that day. She looked up to him when Sylus spoke.

"I must ask about your intentions...of coming to Hogwarts."

Joelle chuckled. "Consider me a threat? Don't worry. It's a long story. I haven't come here to cause chaos, I can assure you this."

"You must understand my position. The responsibility. I cannot rest until it is clear."

Joelle sighed and looked away. "Please don't ask more than I can answer. And please don't let Mar- Tom know that you found out. He will be most upset."

Sylus considered her for a moment, then nodded. "I shall do so. Under one condition." Joelle looked up.

"We will spend some time together when he's not here. I'm sure the both of us would like some change of perspective every so often."

Joelle thought about it, then nodded with a smile. Why not?

"Okay. But he mustn't know. We have to be careful," she said.

"It will happen just as you please. Well then, farewell for the while, we will meet again, milady," said Sylys with a charming smile before he got up and transformed Joelle back. She meowed at him, closing her eyes when he patted her head, then walked off.

Joelle did not quite know how to feel about it, but she knew that this could've gone wrong a lot more than it actually did.

"Hey, I'm back." Said Tom a while later. Joelle stretched and yawned, purring once she noticed him again and instantly cuddled down in his lap. Tom chuckled a little when he saw it; she has been so distant for some time after all.

"Seems like you've finally come around," he said, then yawned. After he came back from his shower, Tom thought about a couple of things. He could not suppress the feeling of threat that seemed to be present again, but he shrugged it off. Who could take her away? Nobody.

Time passed within the blink of an eye, a circumstance Tom was not so sure whether to like or not. The days started to feel less cold as winter was officially over and spring greeted them every morning in the Great Hall. Chirping birds and the scent of fresh flowers enchanted everybody's noses. Tom did not necessarily like the scent, not because he disliked flowers (he just didn't care about them), but because the last time he smelled them was when he received a dozen of love letters on Valentine's Day in February; most of them were drenched in perfume. He had read the worst one from Amanda Houser, the blonde trying to catch his attention ever since he arrived. In her letter she was overly poetic about Tom's eyes and his pale complexion that 'made her feel cold and warm at the same time'. Tom remembers Joelle crying tears laughing so hard about some of the lines the girls wrote, then pinched Tom's cheek and complimented him for his heartbreaking qualities and said that he will find them to be useful in the future. Tom was sure she just meant to be cynical - and was angered to realize that she must have encountered a lot of men in order to get that kind of picture.

"Miss Cole," said Sylus Farley later that evening, kissing Joelle's hand. "I enjoyed our last conversations here in the common room, but I would love to take you to Hogsmeade this evening. I know a place where we can be unseen."

"Is it nice there? Hogsmeade?" Joelle asked.

"It's stunning. Not nearly as stunning as you, of course," said Sylus charmingly and Joelle tried to ignore the compliment - but she smiled nonetheless. "Where is Hogsmeade anyway?"

"It's a village not far away from here. First and second years aren't allowed to go there, you see it has some advantages to know me," said Sylus proudly.

"Is this supposed to be a date, Farley?" Joelle asked in a casual tone. Sylus grinned and looked to the ground before he brought his pale eyes back to her, scooting a little closer in an attempt to make her feel more comfortable - only Joelle hesitated with closeness.

"I would surely want it to be..." Sylus purred. Joelle considered him for a few seconds, but shrugged. "Alright then."

Once Sylus transformed Joelle back into a cat, he picked her up and walked off. Joelle observed everything curiously, looking to the left and right, then clawed sharply on Sylus's arm when she thought to have seen Avery and Lestrange on their way up to the seventh floor - but Joelle wasn't sure if they saw her, too.

Hogsmeade was beautiful and indescribably charismatic. It's off-shaped houses and the strange but nice scent of freshly baked almonds framed the village's atmosphere perfectly. Sylus brought Joelle to a pub that was dark and almost empty - what a contrast.

"People here care about their own business. That's why it will be safe to transform you," said Sylus, aiming his wand at her and after a second, Joelle sat in front of him, her back turned to the three or four other people in the pub.

"It's quite exciting to be here," she then said as Sylus ordered two butter beers; Joelle inwardly gulped at this - she remembered her last encounter with this beverage.

"It's funny how life plays, don't you think?" Sylus asked. How right he was. Joelle chuckled a little, nodding.

"Indeed."

"Why do you let him force you to be here?" Sylus suddenly asked. Joelle looked up from her glass, frowning a slight bit.

"He's not forcing me. We agreed. I cannot be forced. I would find chances to leave if I wanted to, or do you see him here now?" Joelle asked with a raised eyebrow and a faint grin that Sylus returned smoothly.

"I'm just saying that a beautiful lady like you should not be forced to do anything against her will. I have seen the newspaper article after all and-"

"Excuse me?" Joelle asked with a frown. "You have seen what?"

Sylus frowned, but clearly couldn't help suppressing a smirk.

"Are you sure you and Riddle are on the same level of information sharing, Miss Cole? He must have forgotten to mention it...but yes. Your face was all over the muggle newspapers. People are looking for you."

"So that's why he wanted me to write to Bryan..." Joelle whispered absentmindedly. Sylus raised an eyebrow.

"They undoubtedly refused too much effort with all the current trouble in the muggle world. I suppose there are people missing everyday," he sipped on his butter beer before adding, "an unusual one, that Riddle boy is. Very capable. I think I have to keep a close watch on him, don't I?" He asked but Joelle shook her head.

"Don't. It's not advisable. He's got a nasty temper."

"My dear," Sylus leaned closer. "You must tell me why you let him terrorize you and dictate your very actions."

Joelle stared at him for a while, glancing to the side.

"I know...that Mar- Tom is a very unstable person. Nobody had the time that he so very much needed. When I gave that to him, just that, _time_ , he showed me his true potential."

"And you think you are that kind of person for him, Miss-"

"Please call me Joelle."

"Joelle, be careful with the illusion you build up for him. Do you think you are the person that can show him where to go?"

Joelle smiled at this question. "I am merely here, Sylus. I'm not showing him anything."

Their time passed by all too easily. Joelle almost pitied that it did - she hadn't enjoyed her existence for a while, but ever since she and Sylus started talking, she actually liked being here. She missed the good conversations with somebody around her age, and for some strange reason she was reminded of Bryan every time she talked to Sylus, who let her down once they were back in the empty common room.

"Good night. Sleep well," Sylus said gently. He smiled to himself once she jumped onto the door handle and disappeared; little did they know. Little did anyone know.

As soon as Joelle had gotten in, the door of the dormitory locked on an instant. The light was dim and a dark green color, she saw Tom sitting on his bed with his back facing her. He turned around with painful slowness, eyes glowing red for the split of a second, his lips were pressed together firmly, fists clenched, his hand clutched tightly around his wand. This confirmed Joelle's earlier assumption that she had been seen by the other boys, who were silently sitting on their beds and watched as Tom got up. Joelle's ears perked back and she curled down, her tail wrapped around her form. The next thing she saw was Tom aiming his wand at her and she was back in her human form.

"Ex-plain." Tom shivered in rage, towering above her as she still sat on the floor. Joelle did not know what to say.

"How long?" He asked her. "For how long does he know?!"

"Couple of weeks," shrugged Joelle.

"You know how much I despise him!" Tom yelled, his loud voice caused the others to flinch. "Explain, explain yourself! Why did you not fight back when he picked you up?! Why did you not bite and scratch him like you did to me when I brought you here to Hogwarts!" He hissed, kneeling down to her level. "Why."

"He did not take me with him against my will." Joelle said simply, looking into his face. That cheeky tone. When did she pick it up? Where was the caring girl that she once was? Tom's eyes widened, his nostrils flared, his cheeks turned paler than usual.

"You...wanted it..." His voice was tiny, almost croaky. He had trouble gulping, that's how dry his throat was, that's how lumpy it felt, his heart was beating rapidly against his chest, his brain could not cope with the wrath burning in the pit of his stomach - inciting his whole body, letting it wander up to his lungs. It felt like Tom could spit fire any moment. Without further hesitation, his hand laced in Joelle's hair, he pulled her to his face, staring into her shocked eyes.

"The both of you will pay for this," he said with utmost seriousness, the promising tone could not be avoided. He let go of her harshly once he got up - Joelle fell back and tried to follow, but Tom had already ordered the others to keep her down.

And then Tom vanished out of the door.

"LET ME GO!" Yelled Joelle, but Lestrange and Black held her in place while Avery had his wand aimed at her.

"Be quiet! Be quiet!" Avery hissed.

"Please..." Black whispered, frantically looking to the left and right.

"Don't make it so hard on us," said Lestrange. Joelle shook her head, unbelieving of the fact that a couple of eleven or twelve year old kids could have so much power over her. She tried to get up again but they used all their might to keep her down; resulting in Avery sending an electrifying feeling through her body with an incantation he muttered. Joelle winced in pain, her head fell back against the floor, causing Black to frown up to Avery in shock.

"Stop it!" Lestrange yelped. "He will kill us if we hurt her too much!"

"Then keep her down! Make her stop screaming!" Avery groaned and Black waved his wand at Joelle. "Silencio!"

Joelle was heard no more. All she had left was trying to wiggle free until Avery had an idea.

"I'll transform her back into a cat, Tom taught us in case we-"

Though a loud scream caused all of them to turn their attention towards the door. It wasn't Tom's voice, Joelle knew it. The three boys looked at each other in shock, and Joelle used this opportunity to rip her arms away from Lestrange and Black, pushing them against Avery, who fell down on an instant.

Joelle ripped the door open and dashed along the endless corridor towards the rest of the dormitories - she heard students behind other doors trying to get out, but it seemed like they couldn't. Tom must have locked all of the doors before going to Farley.

Joelle gulped when she saw the dim light flickering from a room, she hesitated as she wandered ahead, but when she carefully shoved the door open, she saw Tom with his back facing her, around him guys that did not move. With a bloody knife, Tom was standing in front of a body spread on the cold floor - Sylus Farley in a puddle of red liquid. A loud gasp caused Tom to turn around, his eyes alight with something that Joelle had trouble to recognize. He looked insane.

"'Marvolo...what have you done?!" She shrieked. Tom smirked, eyes narrowing again. He spoke with a hypnotized, possessed voice.

"...You will go back to our dormitory now. You will- STOP!" He yelled when Joelle ran in panic. Tom quickly put the knife next to Sylus, then ran after Joelle as fast as he could, but she was faster.

"JOELLE! STOP! STOP! STOP!" Tom kept on yelling, he shot spells at her over and over again - none of them hit her.

"Joelle! Don't be a coward like the other mudbloods! Don't leave!" Yelled Avery when Joelle ran into the common room. Black gasped, he tried to catch Joelle while Lestrange sent spells at her as well, but to no use. Even though having received so much training, when it came down to it, all the boys could do was watching how Tom hurried after Joelle.

"JOELLE! YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME!" Tom kept on yelling as they ran upstairs; he used this opportunity to shoot more spells at her - nothing. Joelle was upstairs now, Tom on her heels, but she was still faster and he knew at once were she was going. Tom felt no more, thought no more, his whole being worked on sheer instinct, the instinct to catch his prey before it ran into another predator's arms.

"JOELLE!" Tom shouted out again, scowling when ahead of him Peeves appeared.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" Tom yelled and threw his elbows to the side to shove past the poltergeist, but Peeves caught onto it at once - the torches lit up with them passing by.

" _Oh how good to know_

 _That the cute little cat_

 _was Joelle Cole!_ " Peeves sang happily around the two of them, then gasped when the Bloody Baron flew along his way, chasing him like Tom chased Joelle.

"Joelle! Please! Stop!" Tom now yelped desperately - then smirked when she came to a halt in front of a wall that would lead to nowhere.

"You don't have anywhere to go..." He muttered and shot the spell at her now; watching how she transformed back into a cat, picking her up before she could flee. There was no time to evaluate the situation now or to comment it in his head, no time to think clearly with his heart pondering rapidly against his chest, sure at last that he had won as he walked off.

"Riddle..." Said a firm voice. _No_. Tom stopped, he turned around only to look up into the old eyes of Albus Dumbledore.


	21. Loss and Hope

**Chapter 21: Loss and Hope**

 _It's only after we have lost everything that we are free to do anything_ \- Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)

"Professor..." Said Tom, clearing his throat. Destiny is a troublesome player.

"What are you doing here this late hour, Tom?" Dumbledore asked, his half moon spectacles reflecting the moonlight from a window, glancing at the cat whose meows Tom tried to muffle so desperately.

"My cat ran away, Sir. I merely picked her up again." Tom said colorlessly. His calm voice did not give away his nervousness, but he had that idea of Dumbledore being able to see through anything.

"In front of my office? Quite the strange place to run off to," said Dumbledore with a gentle smile, raising an eyebrow when Joelle bit into Tom's hand and the latter let go out of a first instinct's reaction. Tom felt the world spinning when Joelle meowed loudly at Dumbledore, pawing on his silvery robes. Within the blink of an eye and the swiftest of flicks Tom had seen somebody perform, Joelle sat on the ground in her human form.

"Professor! Please get me home, get me home! Please! Please!" Joelle yelled in panic, tears steaming down her face, but Tom shook his head feverishly. _No_. She couldn't seriously want this. Couldn't seriously mean it. What was she doing? What was she saying? Seeing Sylus must have taken all senses from her.

"You can't! You can't leave me!" Tom screamed, but was further ignored by Dumbledore, who smiled at a man next to Tom.

"Dear Merlin, what's the noise? And who is that?" Asked Professor Slughorn, looking from Jolle to Tom, back and forth.

"Ah. Well, it occurs to me that dear Tom is as proficient with Transfiguration as a student in their seventh year. Further explanation is irrelevant, Horace. Please bring Riddle back to his dormitory," said Dumbledore.

Professor Slughorn tied a knot around his large stomach, then nodded assuringly at Tom, whose eyes were still round. He stared up to Dumbledore, watching how he merely turned his back on Tom's worst fear, watching how he, at last, disappeared with the one and only person that ever meant something to him. Tom's hatred for the old man grew - his hatred for Joelle grew, it grew bigger and bigger with every breath that he took. Maybe Avery was right. _Mudbloods_ are cowards, they will always try to leave. Was Joelle different? Maybe she would come back to him? Maybe?

Maybe Joelle will not let Tom drop. Maybe she will realize that everything that was done was to keep her close. Maybe she would see it, would feel it, would know it, that Tom needed her.

But maybe things were never truly alright. And maybe things will never be alright now that Joelle has gone. Because with all the maybes swirling in Tom's head, he knew one thing for sure. Joelle would never come back to him again.

The upcoming time was nothing but painful.

Of course Tom was asked what happened that night in the Slytherin dungeon, but when seriously wounded (though unfortunately not dead) Sylus Farley woke up weeks later in St. Mungo's after the incident, all he could remember was running a knife through his stomach. Tom did not care about the praising he received from his gang for altering the head boy's memory - their praising meant nothing to Tom when they were not Joelle's. And Joelle would have never praised him for anything like this. Quite in fact, the praising turned out to mock Tom - was it not exactly that was caused his biggest loss? He glared at Black and Lestrange and merely walked off on them when they looked up to him with hopeful eyes, hoping to be taught her another important lesson, but Tom did not pick up teaching anytime soon. What for? He had taught them to protect and guard Joelle - and little did they accomplish in that area. Sure, they had received their punishment right after Joelle left, but the result remained the same.

Tom's eyelids felt heavy as he stared to the empty cage in his room, his head sunk lower while clinging to her black scarf in his hands. Tom had no single idea about her strictness - about her willpower of leaving him should he do something she viewed as purely evil. He remembered how he had promised her that he would never give up - and now she was punishing him for keeping his word?

Tom did not show it on he outside, but he felt himself cracking with each day that he had to spend without her. And then there it was again, that unbearable anger Tom tried to suppress to the best of his abilities, but that beast inside him grew bigger and bigger, unleashing a level of painful wrath that Tom has never felt before; it caused him agony. He screamed from the top of his lungs, shooting spells around the dormitory, boxing against the wall until his knuckles started to bleed. He did not hear the exasperated gasps from around him, all he knew is that he woke up days later in the hospital wing. His first glance went to his feet to check if Joelle was curled up there as always, but she wasn't. He glanced to the left and right, but he was alone. _She was gone._

Tom had hoped. He hoped so much with each letter that he wrote to receive one back. Every morning his eyes followed the dozen of owls delivering their letters to other students. It wasn't until the last owl dropped its letter that Tom realized he would not be getting anything today, nor any other day that he waited.

He hid behind books and spells and worked harder than ever to not be alone with his thoughts that consumed most of his sanity. He studied and learned more than he could remember, but aced each essay and every assignment that had to be done. He took time researching on everything just because he was scared of being done with his tasks too fast - and then having to think again. He ran from the responsibility of admitting his own wrongdoings - he did not want to spend a single thought on the perspective of having done a mistake. It was her. Joelle. And Farley. If it's true that Joelle left him for what he has done, then what would now keep him from doing it again? That silly girl. Tom's nose snarled up, he shook his head again and continued writing. Don't think. Don't think. _Don't think._

But he hoped.

When the year was finally over, Tom could not have jumped any faster on the train. He glanced to the cage, knowing for sure that Joelle must be at the orphanage when he returns. She must have missed him too. Surely she merely wanted to make it as special as possible. He would see her, convince her, and just like before he would find a way to take her with him. This time, Tom was sure, she would come at free will. There would be no discussion, just tears - tears of joy of seeing him again. Joelle would certainly wrap her arms around him, cling to her snowman and tell him to wear his scarf because it's "starting to get cold outside". She would take pictures of the two of them and she would, after three months of not seeing him, forgive him. She would.

He hoped.

"Here it is," said Tom to Avery, whose mother had picked up the both of them from King's Cross, driving through London to drop Tom off. Avery looked at the grey walls of the orphanage once the car stopped, then grinned.

"Quite the gloomy place. Maybe you'd like to visit us someday," said Avery.

"Thanks," said Tom, looking at Avery's mother, who nodded with a warm smile.

"Very welcome, my boy, Avery, help him with his luggage, will you."

Tom and Avery got out of the car, but none of them said a word, until Avery broke the silence.

"I'm excited for what you have in stock for us next year," he said. Tom glanced at him.

"That depends on whether or not I will see Joelle now."

"Why?" Asked Avery. Tom glanced at him, but did not further comment. What was Avery thinking? What were they all thinking?These boys understood absolutely nothing. Tom stared at Avery for a few seconds before he simply turned around and left without another word, but could not suppress the rapid banging of his heart against his chest the closer he walked to the entrance. His hoping reached its climax as soon as he rang the doorbell - eyes widened, wondering who would open up.

"Tom!" Smiled a female. Tom's shoulders sank lower, he glared at the woman ahead, shoving past her on an instant. Mrs. Cole was not the person he expected to see.

"Where is she." Tom asked on an instant, dropping his suitcase and cage. He whirled around when Mrs. Cole cleared her throat, but did not say anything.

"Where is she!" Tom yelled. "Where?! Did she move out?"

"Tom, dear..." Mrs. Cole tried to soothe him, taking his arm, but he ripped it away. "She's at home, isn't she?" He asked, then simply ran out of the orphanage, ignoring the shouting from the matron behind.

Tom hurried ahead towards school, took a couple of turns, ahead, to the left, ahead, and walked as fast as he could. He entered that part of London that he disliked so much, smirking when he saw the house ahead. Joelle must have moved back to her father. A parking car in front of it ensured Tom that somebody was home, surely they could tell him where she was. Just when Tom was about to ring the doorbell, he withdrew his hand. His eyes widened.

"Wendrol?" He muttered to himself, then it hit him. _No_. The Coles moved out of this house. Tom ran a hand through his hair - Joelle's father must've sold the house after his divorce. Tom's head began to spin, he felt dizzy, then had another idea. He ran back to the orphanage.

"Where does Bryan live! Where?!" He burst out in the dining room. The other kids gasped upon seeing Tom again. Mrs. Cole shook her head.

"Tom. Joelle is not with Bryan."

"Where is she! Where! TELL THE TRUTH! TELL ME NOW!" He screamed, some kids got up and ran away by now, Amy and Dennis amongst them.

"I don't know, Tom. Professor Dumbledore and Joelle agreed on not telling me," she said softly and with so much sincerity that Tom knew at once that she wasn't lying.

 _Dumbledore_. Tom's eyes widened, fists clenched. And Joelle - how could she have been blinded by that old man, how?

"There must be a way of finding out..." Tom whispered. He tried to think of a spell, but nothing came to his mind. With a second thought he realized that if he had a spell to find her, by all means, even if it meant being expelled, he would use it. He made a mental note to develop something that could help him tracking down people and hated himself for not thinking of it any earlier. But just like before, the perspective of losing was something that did not fit in his mindset.

Tom's hopes were completely destroyed after weeks of looking for Joelle, weeks of waiting.

No Joelle accompanied him to the train for his second year, and little did he know by then that no Joelle would pick him up after his third year was over. He still had hopes to receive a response from her after the countless letters he had sent, but he was left in the dark.

The only enlightenment was the assurance that his Joelle was gone.

And she had left for good.

 **AN: Nauseating, I know. Will Tom ever find her again?**


	22. I Promised

**Chapter 22: I promised**

 _There is no turning back_ \- Hugo Chavez

1945\. 

A cold and bitter Sunday morning caused Joelle Cole to wake up earlier than usually. She pushed her blanket to the side and got out of the bed, checking the time.

"Seven in the morning," she sighed and opened the window widely for some fresh air, inhaling the scent of the cold snow below. Had it not been for something that grasped her attention, she would have remained standing there for a little longer. A loud crack in the back of the room caused Joelle to whirl around in panic - too often she had heard the loud sirens that warned the citizens of London about any bombing attacks in the past. Dark times lay behind Joelle and war has made the young woman a very cautious person. She withdrew her hand from her chest, realizing it was merely a broomstick falling to the ground. Joelle stared at it for a few more seconds, then decided to pick it up and start her work.

The orphanage was a messy place since her absence.

"Joelle..." Said a raspy voice. Joelle nodded and smiled as she entered a room, letting the light in.

"Don't worry, Ellie. Don't worry," she said. Mrs. Cole looked up weakly - the war left far more traces on her than on her niece. A fair amount of her right face was burnt and covered in scars - witnesses of _The Blitz_ bombing attack as of September 8th in 1940; at least that's how they referred to it in the articles and news. But that was Mrs. Cole's least problem.

"Do you think you can keep it in?" Asked Joelle as she sat down on a stool next to her aunt's bed, a bowl of hot soup in her hand. Mrs. Cole glanced at the bowl, then sighed.

"We can try," she croaked and tried to sit. The shocking diagnose came last year - Pancreatic cancer. Joelle carefully prepped the pillow for her aunt to assist her sitting up and held out the spoon to Mrs. Cole's mouth, unaware that this would be the last day she would have spent with the ill woman, who died just hours after she had fallen asleep.

"No, Amy. I don't want you to see him!" Hissed Martha Stafford.

"Kiss my ass, Martha. I can do whatever I please!" Amy hissed back, lighting up a cigarette, putting another behind her ear, then walked off to get out of the door but stopped abruptly when Joelle appeared next to it. The both of them stared at each other for a few seconds before Amy merely shoved past Joelle; not a single word was spoken.

"Did you bring the bread?!" Asked Martha harshly, ripping the paper bag out of Joelle's hands. Martha Stafford has become the new matron of Wool's orphanage right after Elizabeth Cole passed away - much to Joelle's dislike, but she put up with it. Not for the sake of Martha, but for the sake of the children in the orphanage.

"I don't know where to go with Amy! I would kick her out - but ah, I can already hear the local article barking about it. Go, go, fix the food already, we don't have all day!"

Joelle had her arms crossed and stared at Martha with an unimpressed face.

"I am doing this for free, Martha. The least you can do is watch your tone. You can't afford to pay someone if I'm gone. Or can you?" and with that, Joelle walked off into the kitchen, ignoring Martha's grumbling.

"Is she gone again?" Asked a voice. Joelle glanced back to see Dennis Bishop sitting in the dark corner of the kitchen. Joelle cleared her throat, then nodded.

"Yes."

"She's seeing that old git again," groaned Dennis, lowering his head. Joelle walked over to him, kneeling down to Dennis's level.

"Amy is of age. There's nothing we can do about it, sweetheart."

"He's forty..." Said Dennis. Joelle nodded with a sigh, glancing to the direction of the door, then back at Dennis. He had dark shadows under his eyes and bloody scars on his wrists. It pained Joelle to see Amy and Dennis like this, still remembering the poor but happy children they once were. Now they were less than poor.

"Hello," said a clear and kind voice from behind. Joelle smiled as she turned around to see Billy Stubbs walking in, hanging his coat away. Billy has grown up to be a friendly and kind young man, his blond hair, however, turned a mid brown as he grew up. He had dark brown eyes and carried a bright smile that lit up Joelle's mood.

"Hey honey," she said. "Going somewhere?"

"Yeah, in a bit, Eric asked me to bring his books, he forgot them," said Billy. Joelle felt a light shot of pain in her chest. Eric Whalley moved out of the orphanage four day ago. It was a painful loss to watch them growing up and then leave. At least Eric and Billy were still best friends - enough of a reason for Eric to show up occasionally. Of course it was only a matter of time until Billy would move out as well.

"Dennis. Come on, get up from the cold floor," said Joelle then. Dennis looked up to her, then away again.

"I'm not a child anymore. You don't need to tell me what to do," he murmured. Joelle stared at Dennis, looking at his messy black hair that was glued to his forehead; he hadn't washed it in days. His saggy clothes were stained, shoes ripped, and Dennis's once bright eyes could not be duller these days.

"I don't mean to tell you what to do. I'm asking you to get up from the cold floor, please," Joelle smiled. Dennis had his chin rested on his knee, his face turned away from her.

"Joelle! When will the food be ready?!" It shouted from upstairs. Joelle sighed, glanced at Dennis, was about to say something but she did not. She got up and walked over to the stove, blankly preparing lunch.

"It tasted better when you were younger," commented Martha when she ate the soup after the children were done and out of the dining room. Joelle stared towards the bowl, then looked out of the window, watching the snow falling down from the dark sky.

"I will go home now," she said colorlessly and got up.

"Come here a little earlier tomorrow," said Martha after a moment of silence. Joelle stopped walking, glanced over her shoulder, then grabbed her bag and coat, leaving without another word.

After a short ride on the bus Joelle arrived at her apartment. She took off her boots and her coat and walked into the small living room that beheld a bed, a tiny table and a chair. She sighed after washing her hands in the little bathroom, walked over to the kitchen niche and picked up a cup, preparing a tea while sitting down to eat the sandwich that she wanted to eat all day. She fell asleep to _The Basic Principles of Psychoanalysis._

Joelle woke up around five in the morning, rubbing her eyes. She glanced at her full cup of cold tea, then to the half eaten sandwich. She stretched and rubbed her eyes, vanishing into the small bathroom to wash up. At six she already fixed breakfast for the orphans.

It was a surprising quirk of life to turn down all cards of misery at once for each protagonist; as if there was no time to waste. Joelle Cole got home late this day, it must have been early in the morning already when she did. She had no time to finish other chores, but she was lucky to realize that it was Saturday when she woke up. Stretching and yawning heartily, she sat up, glancing to the ceiling. A knock on the door caused her to flinch. She frowned, not knowing who it could be this time of the day. Joelle walked to the door, trying to see who it was, but couldn't. She carefully opened the door.

"Joelle!" Cheered a young man. Joelle sighed in relief, smiling. "Hello Bryan, erm.

Did I miss something?"

"We wanted to have a brunch together, don't you remember?" Bryan asked and walked in. Joelle shook her head. "I'm quite forgetful these days. I'm sorry. Go sit down already, I'll be there in a minute."

"So," started Bryan after Joelle returned fully dressed in normal daywear. "How's life treating you?"

"Fine, fine," said Joelle, biting into a fresh roll that Bryan brought. "Wool's is just taking up most of my time. How about you?"

"Well; we've had a dozen of thievery files charged the past few days. People start to realize that some live better even after war," sighed Bryan, putting jam on top of his bread. "Other than that, nothing fancy. I've seen Amy the other day," he looked up to Joelle, "Opium I think. It's such a shame. I let her run, though..."

Joelle stared blankly ahead, nodding for a moment, then ran a hand through his hair. "I wonder if I could have helped it. I wonder if-"

"You have done everything you could to prevent these things from happening."

"Dennis, too...I don't know what to do, Bryan, I just don't know how to help. The last time I tried to help somebody-"

"Let's not talk about it," said Bryan, rubbing Joelle's hand. Joelle nodded, sucking in her bottom lip, then forced a smile. "You're right."

Bryan left about an hour later. Joelle felt oddly empty after he had gone, there were things left unsaid between them that neither she nor Bryan had the courage to address. When Joelle arrived at the orphanage, she was greeted by a few 'new', children. They were not exactly new, just younger than those Joelle had met those years back.

"Has Amy returned?" Asked Joelle when she handed over plates of soup for everyone. Martha and Dennis both shook their heads but none of them said a single word. The atmosphere was quite thick and tense; only now Joelle noticed how much better it was when her aunt was still alive.

"I will be here late tomorrow," said Joelle. "I won't be able to return until the evening. I have a lot of readings to do and essays to write," she said. Martha frowned.

"I asked you to be here Sunday, too. We need you here in case you haven't noticed."

"I can't," said Joelle. "You'll have to cook yourself for once instead of sitting in your office and pretend you have so much work to do," said Joelle sharply.

"How dare you speak to me like so, girl!" Martha hissed. "Your aunt might have allowed your little breakouts of attitude, but I will not!"

"Lucky I'm not yours to command, right?" Smiled Joelle and put on her coat. "Have a nice day." And off she walked with her back straight up, not ducking when Martha threw a cup of tea Joelle's way. The young woman sighed, shaking her head, just glad that her dear aunt would not see any of what Wool's Orphanage has become.

Reading her assignments was one of the rare times Joelle truly enjoyed existing. She wrote down a lot of notes and commented and criticized many statements while appreciating every bit of new information that shaped her horizon. A smile was spread across her face but as soon as her gaze fell out of the window again and she watched the snow, her smile vanished. Her eyes became heavier and cloudier with each snowflake that danced down in the dark sky, falling to the thick layers of snow in the empty yard.

Joelle shook her head and turned her face away, trying to ignore the memories in her head that, almost painfully, begged her to remember. She got up from her small table to fix herself another cup of tea, sniffing on the herbal steam when it rose up to her nose. Fully calm again she smiled and walked back into the living room - but dropped the cup of tea with a loud gasp and widened eyes. A screech erupted form her lips when her eyes instantly fell out of the window again - where right in front of it a tall snowman was built, staring at her with its eyes of rocks. Joelle quickly closed the curtains.

"Hey everybody," cheered Joelle as she returned to Wool's Orphanage Sunday evening. She closed the door behind her. "So cold!" She smiled, trying to be in a good mood for everyone. She frowned when nobody greeted her back and had the slight idea that Martha might have taken the kids out, but shook her head. It was late, where should they have gone?

When Joelle walked ahead into the dining room, her world started to spin. Ahead of her lay two people - Martha and Dennis, in thick layers of blood. Joelle screamed from the top of her lungs, walked backwards, her eyes wandered over to the staircase and Joelle screamed once more; it was almost crowded with the dead bodies of the remaining inhabitants of Wool's Orphanage; Amy amongst them. Joelle broke out in tears, she shook her head in attempts to make herself believe that this was not real, that it was just another nightmare, but it did not work. They were dead. Somebody killed them. They were dead. Joelle tried to walk back towards the door but merely found herself dizzily swaying to the left, holding onto the wooden panels of the walls. Her heartbeat was the only sound she could hear for a long time, she inhaled deeply and once more tried to make her way to the door, but a voice behind her froze her to stand still.

"Hello Joelle."

Ear deafening silence invaded the room; even so much that the drops of blood from the ceiling were audible. Joelle's lips parted, she slowly spun around.

There in the distance stood a tall, young and handsome man, maybe eighteen years old. Joelle shook her head in disbelief, her hand reached to her mouth in shock.

She knew at once who he was.


	23. What I Have Become

Chapter 23: What I Have Become

 _"He was the second snowman to_ _be_ _melting away before her eyes, only this one was different. It was a paradox. The colder he became, the more he melted_." - Markus Zusak in: **The Book of Thief**

"Marvolo..." Joelle whispered to herself, staring at the man in the distance. Tom's gaze flickered over to her. He chuckled lowly, unnervingly, unpredictably.

"Marvolo..." He repeated in an almost purr, closing his eyes. "I haven't heard this name in so long..." He murmured, fixing her with his red gleam before he glanced once more at the female in the distance. Joelle did not change at all, she still looked the same even as the young woman that she now was.

"Martha...Amy, Dennis...What- why, was it...no- it wasn't you! You couldn't, you-you wouldn't?" Joelle stammered in a high pitched croak, trying not to look to the dead bodies.

"Oh Joelle..." Tom whispered audibly enough, his eyes focused on her, observing every inching movement.

"Quite in fact...our dear Miss Kenneth received a message from a stranger earlier this day, my dear. Said stranger, oh. What's the game for? I...", he paused to grin, "have made sure that she would show up here at seven ó clock in the evening..." He spoke businesslike. Joelle frowned, not understanding a thing.

"Marvolo! Please tell me that it wasn't you!" She screamed, walking backwards. "Please..."

"I'm afraid that by evidence it was not me, Joelle, for nobody has seen me entering the orphanage."

And then it clicked. Joelle raised her head in awareness.

"You told Mrs. Kenneth to come here to see me walking inside..." She whispered. "To make it seem as though it was me?"

"Dear officer Bryan will be most heartbroken to see his former love in the middle of this scenery..."

"They would never believe that! I have no reason to kill any of them!" Joelle yelped, shaking her head furiously. Tom merely smiled; a cold smile.

"Mrs. Kenneth witnessed something else." Tom held up his wand. "At least I made sure that she thinks so..." He tapped the tip of his wand against his temple. "And then the fact that you were an unstable person in the past, needing therapy...tragic, don't you think, Joelle?"

Nothing was said for such a long time that it felt like mocking to eternity. Tears welled up in Joelle's eyes, her fists clenched and she stared down to the ground. "Why..." She croaked. "Why are you doing this to me!?"

Tom chuckled again. He stepped closer, his dark cloak shifting as he walked ahead. Joelle moved backwards until she met the wooden panels of the wall; eyes widened when Tom stood in front of her and reached out his hand to her face, causing Joelle to gasp and hold her breath when his cold fingers tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm doing this to us." Tom murmured, his face did not twitch the slightest, but there was a gleam in his eyes that told Joelle that her dear snowman has melted once and for all and instead built up something far colder.

"You haven't changed, Joelle...even after so many years...Shhh. Don't cry." He wiped away a tear from her face with his thumb, towering intimidatingly above her. He checked the time.

"Almost seven. Let's go. Shall we?" He asked, pulling up a bag over his shoulder that Joelle stared at for a few seconds. So he had packed her clothes. She glanced at him defeatedly, then simply walked over to him without another word. Tom stared at her for a little longer before he wrapped his firm hand around her wrist - and together they disappeared.

Joelle stood in the middle of a salon; feeling dizzy and nauseated, but the feeling was replaced by surprise when she glanced around. Everything looked exquisite, not to mention forbiddingly expensive. Did this belong to him?

"You are standing on the grounds of my father's generous abode, which I so involuntarily inherited after his...sudden death," Tom mumbled, his index finger brushing along a ring on his hand, but Joelle said nothing. The pictures of Amy and Dennis and the others were still swirling in her head, hollowing her eyes that shot up when Tom's hand pressed to the small of her back, leading her to one of the wide leathery couches. She stiffly sat down with him, still staring ahead with the expression of a startled deer. Silence.

"Why do you want me to be here?" Joelle then asked quietly, carefully glancing to him. Tom fixed her with his steadily narrowing eyes; he did not answer her question.

"Things have changed, Joelle. I'm not the foolish little boy that I once was," he said, and with a flick of his wand, upon which Joelle twitched, two glasses of wine appeared.

"Marvolo..." Whispered Joelle.

"I hear you were almost done studying psychology," said Tom; holding a glass out to her. Joelle took it but did not spend a single second believing she would ever drink it.

Tom, however, had a sip. He leaned there so nonchalantly, an arm resting along the couch, one leg above the other. He had changed so much, looking nothing like the boy he used to be. Tom Riddle grew up to become a handsome but murderous young man. Tears streamed down Joelle's cheeks, she clung to her knees as she stared to her lap again, shaking her head at a thought. Tom chuckled.

"But dear Joelle...what are those tears for that you cry? You have heard about people like me throughout your studies, haven't you? Do you think you could have changed something?" His voice sounded thin and almost mockingly amused.

"Why..." Whispered Joelle again. "I don't understand..."

Tom said nothing, observing her.

"Why did you kill them? Why couldn't you just simply...why couldn't you just have taken me? Why kill them?" Joelle asked, her eyes and but swollen. Tom had another sip of wine.

"You tell me, Joelle. Why would people like me come back to kill scum that wouldn't even be worth their time?"

Joelle stared at him, shaking her head. "To cope with their-"

"Past?" Tom laughed suddenly, a cold and high pitched sound that thrusted shivers through Joelle. It was scarier than his glare.

"Why, I have tried so much to leave my muggle life behind. You're missing a couple of details. Come on. Try again," Tom, purred, moving the glass in his hand so that the wine swirled around in it as he observed the spiraling liquid.

"Well?" Tom asked after another minute of silence. Joelle shook her head, running her hands through her hair, bending closer to her knees, sniffling quietly.

"No idea at all?" Tom asked dryly. Joelle said nothing, but she gasped when she heard something shattering against the wall behind her; Tom threw his glass of wine and suddenly whirled her around by her shoulder, his hand gripping firmly in her hair. Joelle winced.

"You know the answer!" He hissed, eyes flickering red. Joelle's mouth was gapped open, panting quickly to cope with her heart racing against her chest.

"Say it...say it, sweet Joelle...I want to hear it," Tom whispered, slightly letting go of Joelle's hair, his thumb caressed her waggling bottom lip as she finally croaked out a tiny bit.

"You k-killed them...to...to..."

"Go on."

"To...make sure I can't ever return again..." She said quietly. Tom's eyes lit up with a bright smile and he leaned away from Joelle while grabbing her glass of wine, drinking the rest of it.

Nothing else was said for at least half an hour. Tom and Joelle sat next to each other but couldn't be further apart; and then there were these words again that gathered in Joelle's mouth but disappeared as soon as she tried to voice her thoughts. She was scared to speak.

Tom glanced at Joelle, he stared at her for the longest while, listening to her breathing that became unsteadier upon the nervousness.

"Just kill me already...why waiting?" Joelle asked. Tom's right eyebrow twitched up the slightest of bits before he showed off his brilliant white teeth in a charming smile.

"Kill you?" He asked amused. "I don't want to kill you."

"You'd do me a favor," whispered Joelle bitterly. Tom did not respond, but kept staring at her.

"Are you doing this to punish me?" Joelle then asked, looking at him. "Marvolo, back then, I, I didn't leave because-"

Tom's eyes narrowed. "I don't want to hear your excuses," he said, then waved his wand, handing over a set of dark robes to Joelle.

"Get rid of those muggle clothes," he said and got up, walking out of the room. The tall double door closed and Joelle was left behind, staring at the black dress that she let drop to the floor and ran to the door; realizing it was locked. Her heartbeat increased drastically, she looked round to see if there was another door in this huge hall-like drawing room, but she had to be disappointed. Her eyes went to the big window front, she glanced to the left and right, then grabbed a lamp and walked ahead. Her eyes flickered over to the door once more to make sure Tom wasn't going to come in, she reached out, smacked the lamp against the glass - nothing. Joelle frowned, looking to the lamp, then to the glass, trying it again - nothing. It was like she tried to hit the glass with a feather, not even a tiny scratch appeared on its surface. Joelle tried again and again, but no matter how often she tried, the window remained unharmed. Joelle sank down to her knees, the palm of her hand pressed against the window, looking out to the snowflakes that danced down the sky and wishes for nothing else than to be one of them.

"Funny..." said a voice from behind. Joelle did not even look back at Tom.

"History repeats itself. Here we go again, right, my dear?"

"What have you become..." Joelle whispered.

"What you have made me," said Tom colorlessly. "You can sit there and cry, or you can cope with it. Like I had to. You're not done yet, Joelle, you're not done paying your debts..."

"All I tried was helping you..." Joelle whispered under tears. "I tried to-"

"I said stop trying to find excuses," Tom murmured lowly. He waved his wand at her; Joelle gasped when she sat there in her underwear but before she could say something else, she was wearing the black dress Tom had given her earlier. She stared down to her body, then up to him, but he was gone already.

Joelle did not move an inch for at least another hour. She tried to think of any possible ways of getting out, even trying to focus her own magic, but it did not work. She leaned back against the wall, being reminded of John - and how she could never use her magic when she was too terrified. As the door opened again, Tom looked over to her sitting in the corner.

"Hn..." He grinned slightly. "That's exactly how I found Dennis...sitting in the corner..."

Joelle shook her head. "Don't, don't tell me!"

"And his eyes when he noticed who I was..." Said Tom, walking closer. "His screams."

"Stop!"

"Only Martha did not recognize me. What a shame, don't you think? And Amy...Amy was a lot of fun," Tom chuckled, lowering himself down to Joelle's level. Joelle tried everything to prevent herself from looking at him.

"She knew at once that it was me. You couldn't save her, could you?"

"Don't, stop!"

"She looked disgusting. I've done her a favor when I made her bleed to death, Joelle."

"STOP!" Joelle screamed, covering her ears, her knees were pulled up tightly to her stomach. Tom looked at her, reaching out his hand, Joelle squinted shut her eyes but he merely rubbed strands of hair out of her face. Joelle pulled her head away, but Tom grabbed her back firmly. He stared into her eyes; still and intense, watching how her irises danced from the left to the right in fear. Oh how much he missed it.

"Marvolo, can't we, can't we-"

"Sort it out? Talk about everything?" Tom asked softly, a fake smile embellished his handsome features. Joelle's heartbeat increased, she was scared of his unpredictable outbursts when agitated.

"You can't keep me with you forever-"

"I can't?" Tom asked. His voice was calm and smooth, but Joelle couldn't help but be reminded of a snake that slithered around and only waited for the best moment to attack.

"Marvolo, just tell me what you want, don't leave me in the dark, I-"

"Leave you in the dark..." Tom whispered, his smile vanished. Out of nowhere, he thrusted the palm of his hand next to Joelle's head against the wall, the loud BANG made her wince.

"Did you care when you have left me in the dark?" He asked in a low growl, lips only inches away from hers as he stared into her eyes. Joelle panted, she tried to say something, but Tom only rested his index finger on her bottom lip.

"Shh," he whispered. "Don't speak. Don't. Speak."

Tom got up. He towered above her, stared at her for a little longer, then turned around and vanished once more. Joelle shook her head in attempts to understand, to make sense of his actions, but she could not. Why did he do all of that? What does he want? Why did he bring her here? Being reminded of the boy that she tried to forget for the past few years, Joelle knew that Tom Marvolo Riddle did not do a thing without calculating his benefits. But what, what was he planning?


	24. Doll and Puppet

**Chapter 24: Doll and Puppet**

 _The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages_ \- Virginia Woolf

It took hours till the door of the salon opened once more. Joelle looked up from the cold floor; she kept sitting in the exact same position throughout the night, only sparingly asleep here and then. Tom did not check again, or maybe he did, but Joelle did not notice. A few seconds were needed for Joelle to realize that it was not Tom who walked into the drawing room. It was somebody else.

"Hello Joelle," said the young man with black curly hair. "He wasn't lying. You haven't changed at all. You don't recognize me, do you?"

Joelle shook her head, taking a close look, then frowned. "Lestrange?"

"Ah. Here we go," Lestrange chortled and held out his hand to her. Joelle did not take it.

"Come on, I won't bite," he said, then simply grabbed her arm to pull her up. Joelle glanced at him for a little longer; Lestrange's tinge of clumsiness was somewhat gone. Her eyes wandered over to the door again, a tall blond man walked inside. This one Joelle recognized on an instant. "Avery..."

"Joelle." Said Avery firmly. His jawline has grown to be as prominent as his high cheekbones and he still had those cold blue eyes from back then.

"He told you two to take care of me," Joelle said knowingly. Lestrange nodded.

"Where is he?" Joelle asked. Avery and Lestrange glanced at each other, then back at her.

"Not important, doll." said Avery. His thin mouth pursed a little while Joelle glared.

"I might be the doll, but you are his puppet," she said darkly and with such a tone of finality that it resulted in an intense moment of eye contact with Avery, who pulled out his wand.

"Avery..." Whispered Lestrange on who Avery's eyes fell, silencing him before he looked back at Joelle.

"Careful," Avery muttered. "He gave us the permission to discipline you in case it's necessary."

Joelle chuckled, turning her face away as she stared out of the window. The sun was shining, snow glistening in the light. "To discipline me?" She asked rhetorically. "I see."

It appeared that the mere command of Tom was all it needed for these boys to act without questioning. Joelle could faintly notice the outlines of Avery and Lestrange that were reflected in the window; she saw how they gestured a little and had a nonverbal conversation, possibly about how to approach her next after the first approach failed.

Lestrange cleared his throat. "Look, breakfast is ready, you can-"

"I don't want to eat." Said Joelle simply. Avery nodded, obviously not planning on changing her mind. "As you wish," and off he walked, staring at Lestrange, clearly symbolizing him to move along. Lestrange looked at Joelle, towards the door, and eventually followed the blond male.

Joelle exhaled deeply, watching how the clouds blocked the sun from further lighting up the room. She sat down on the couch, glanced at the empty glass of wine on the table, then over to the shattered one that was still on the floor in pieces of burgundy liquid. She rested back, closed her eyes, and finally fell asleep.

Warmth and the sound of crackling fire was what caused Joelle to blink her eyes open again hours later. The orange light from the fireplace should have dyed the whole drawing room in a nice atmosphere, but the fake coziness only made her more nervous. Her gaze swept over to Tom, who sat on an armchair with a book that she did not bother to read the title of.

"Do you pay them at least? Your servants?" Joelle then asked. Tom glanced over to her, then to his book again. He closed it after another minute of silence, resting on his elbow as he watched her, as if she had not said a word, as if she was not actually there.

"I do," he then said. Joelle raised an eyebrow, but Tom went on. "Not with money. Something far more worth than that."

"Oh," said Joelle in fake awe. "How very noble of you."

Tom kept staring at her, then merely had a sip of tea upon which Joelle subconsciously shifted in her seat; fearing he would throw the cup. Tom's lower eyelids contorted, signs of passive amusement. He put the cup back onto the table; every movement of him seemed so elegant and controlled. Joelle was once more reminded of how much Tom has grown up. Whereas the younger version of him would've responded with a spiteful comeback, this Tom Riddle was far above discussions and pointless arguments.

"Where were you today?" Joelle then asked. Tom glanced at her, not feeling obliged to answer. Joelle very well understood why. He made her taste her own medicine - or did she ever tell him where she had gone those years ago?

"Marvolo..." Joelle tried again. "This is pointless..." She ran a hand through her hair. "I think we need to talk."

"Hn," Tom chuckled. "She wants to talk," he said amused, then turned his face towards her. "Go ahead."

Joelle stared, but did not know where to start. The lump in her throat made it impossible to find out.

"And that's why we don't talk," said Tom. "There is nothing left to say."

"I have so many questions..." said Joelle. She leaned closer to him. "Look at me, Marvolo, please..." She pleaded. Tom looked to her, calm and awaiting for more to react on.

"Why have you brought me here?" She asked. Tom smirked, shaking his head.

"How selfish of you to ask that question first," he said.

"I deserve to get an answer!" Joelle hissed.

"Not more than I did," said Tom firmly, his gaze fixed on her, and Joelle knew that he was and will continue to be too unforgiving to ever respond to any of her questions. Again, nothing was said. Until Tom made a plate of food appear.

"You will eat this," he said. It carried so much more depth than what he had once said when Joelle and he were on the train on their way to Hogwarts back then. Tom had told Joelle that she surely would not want to make him force her to eat. Now, Tom did not even need to say that he would force her, it was all hidden in the simple line of _"you will_ ". Joelle sighed, taking the plate, knowing she did not want to push Tom too much. She looked at the food.

"Waffles..." She said in surprise. "You're sharing these?" She asked with the tiniest of smiles, unable to hold back the memory. Waffles were Tom's favorite. She looked up to Tom, who hid his face behind the book again; and she did not dare to comment on the small grin she noticed on the corner of his lips.

"It's pumpkin cream soup," Joelle then said. "My favorite dish," she added at Tom's perplex face.

"Such a boring dish?" He asked before continuing to read again.

Joelle smiled. "Boring on the outside. The spices are what make a simple pumpkin cream soup taste different. I have never tried the same in two separate houses. Ellie's soup was very good, I can't make it, though," Joelle kept silent for a few seconds. "I never asked which spices she used..." She said softly, then shook her head at a thought. Why was she talking to Tom about pumpkin cream soups after so many years of not talking to him at all?

"You have grown so much," Joelle suddenly said. Tom glanced at her when she whispered "you have changed so much..."

"One of us had to change," said Tom simply, turning over the page. "And I'm glad it wasn't you."

"How do you want to know?" Joelle scowled. "We haven't talked much since you've kidnapped me. Maybe I have changed, too."

"Kidnapped you..." Tom chortled, then glanced to her with his hypnotizing eyes.

"I have changed..." Joelle whispered, maybe more to herself. Tom closed the book now, putting it down onto the table. He stared at her, watching her every move.

"You can't keep me here forever..." She whispered again. Tom smiled his cold smile, as if he knew something that Joelle did not know, and merely wanted to wait until she found out herself.

"It's late my dear. Come on," he said, getting up. Joelle hesitated at first, but followed nonetheless. At least in her sleep she could be free. It was the first time that Joelle was able to take a glimpse at some of the remaining parts of the manor; a beautiful place. They walked upstairs. Tom opened the door to a bedroom. It looked cozy and warm, but Joelle could not feel colder.

"A bathroom is connected to it as well," said Tom. Joelle nodded, her eyes were glued to the nightgown he had put on the bed. She walked in and did not turn around to Tom when he said "good night."

It was a lie Joelle had told herself. She was not free in her sleep. Tom visited her that night, even though not physically: Nightmares haunted her. When she screeched up loudly, awake from the dream, her last thought was spent on a simple realization. Tom had her. And he had her completely.

When Joelle opened her eyes again, she smelled the nice scent of food next to her on the nightstand. She sat up and stared at the sandwich, but didn't touch it. She wasn't hungry, and Tom wasn't here to make her eat it. She crawled out of the bed, was about to walk into the bathroom, but stopped when her eyes wandered out of the window once more. The dancing snowflakes gave her some rest at mind yesterday, today she knew they only danced so much. She remained standing there for a while, not even noticing the presence in the room until a hand rested on her shoulder. Joelle spun around, looking into the eyes of yet another unknown man.

"Who are you?" She asked and stepped back. The man smiled. Like Lestrange, he had black hair, but his wasn't curly. Black hair. Dark eyes. Was it...

"Black? Is it you?" Joelle asked. Black nodded faintly, then glanced over to Joelle's plate.

"You didn't eat," he commented.

"He's gone again, isn't he?" Joelle asked. Black nodded after a moment of silence. "That's right. I'll take care of you today," he said.

"Just you?" Joelle asked suspiciously. Black smiled. "For now it's just me, yes. Avery will come here in a bit."

Joelle grumbled upon the mentioning of Avery's name, causing Black to grin more. "Not too fond of him, are you?"

"He's very rude," said Joelle. She sighed gently, looking at the young man in front of him. "You're not evil. I know you're not," she said, but Black raised his hand in a manner to silence her. "Don't, Joelle. I have no choice," he said. "Let's not spend our time believing we do. Come." And with that, he walked off with her and downstairs.

"What are we doing?" Joelle asked when Black pulled her into a large library.

"Freshen up your theory on magic," he said. Joelle frowned. "He wants you to teach me?"

"The theoretical part for today, yes. He plans on teaching you magic in general," said Black. Joelle did not understand.

"Isn't that strange for him to want that? He gives me the opportunity to fight back," she said. Black merely paid her a pitiful smile.

"I think he will know what you plan before you know it yourself, Joelle. There are things you don't know-"

"Clearly don't know," said a voice from behind. Joelle spun around, looking into the cold eyes of Avery, who walked into the library. "There is no possible way you could win a duel against him if it came down to it, not in a million years of studying magic."

"Then why bother teaching me?" Joelle asked, crossing her arms, looking to the two young men. "What is it you know? Tell me!"

But of course, none of them said a word. Instead, Joelle was introduced to a variety of theoretical input - all of which was incredibly boring to her.

"Aconite's toxic was used whilst applying it to arrows or other sharp objects which were used to hunt wild animals such as wolves; that's why Aconite is known as wolfsbane," said Joelle. "I paid attention during the classes M-Tom took me to. Slughorn mentioned it during potions," she added when Avery and Black looked at her in confusion.

"Good," said Black, closing the book with a shrug. "You know most of the first year syllabus."

"The first, yes. But not the second. We will simply start with the second year the next time," said Avery, sipping on a cup of tea. Joelle ran a hand through her hair in desperation, she could not stand the fact that no answers were given to her, that state of emptiness that left her floating in the air of uncertainty.

A week passed, a week in which Tom has not appeared for even a minute. Joelle was not sure how to feel about it, was not sure how to feel about anything. Sure, she was slightly happy that he wasn't here, that she wasn't exposed to his coldness that smacked her across the face each time he looked at her. But it also left her with unanswered questions. Quite in fact it became so unbearable for Joelle to not know what was going on that she refused to eat the past two days' meals; a circumstance that made Lestrange incredibly nervous; he kept on muttering to himself about what Tom would do if only he came to know that Joelle was losing too much weight.

Driven, however, by curiosity as to find out more about this place, Joelle wandered around the manor at night. Avery and Lestrange were upstairs and asleep, leaving Joelle some room. She could not escape (and how often she tried she did not even count), but an urge to move along was still there, not yet died out.

She opened a door, looking into the what looked like a kitchen. It was roomy and beautiful, but definitely used to work in. Joelle glanced to the left and right, then suddenly gasped when she turned around.

"Oh my god!" Joelle yelped loudly as in front of her stood a tiny creature with bat-like ears, big brown eyes and a long nose. But as soon as she laid eyes on it, it was already gone, hidden under a table. Joelle's mouth was still gapped open, but she tilted her head to the side, looking to the thing she just saw.

"Hey you...Come here, I won't hurt you," she smiled. The creature looked at her, to the left and right, its big brown eyes insecure, but it eventually walked out of his hiding spot. Joelle couldn't believe her eyes.

"Oh my...what...who are you?" She asked, though more to herself. Her eyes widened when the creature spoke back.

"Patch. My name is Patch. He was told not to show himself to Miss Joelle, but he is very happy to meet her at last." The creature bowed. Joelle merely looked at it with big round eyes.

"Y-you can s-peak?!" She squeaked. Patch smiled widely.

"Patch is a house elf, Miss. He can speak when he is allowed to speak."

Joelle just shook her head in disbelief. She visited the lessons of magical history with Tom and faintly remembers something about elves, but hadn't imagined them to look anything like what was standing before her.

"But, but Patch, are you something like...a pet?" Joelle asked. Patch smiled brightly again.

"A house elf, Miss," he said, then lowered his head. "Master Riddle brought Patch here to serve him."

"S-serve?! You are his slave?!" Joelle yelled, causing Patch to duck and hold his arms above his head; a motion of which Joelle intuitively knew the elf wasn't a novice in. Tom must've scared and hurt Patch a dozen of times.

"That's what house elves do, Miss Joelle. It's our nature to serve," Patch said carefully, smiling again. Joelle ran a hand through her hair to cope with the information, then frowned upon a second glimpse. Patch was covered in bruises.

"Oh you poor little thing. Come here," she smiled, pulling the elf closer. Patch shuddered a little, his eyes kept squinting shut when Joelle carefully applied some water on his skin.

"Did he do this to you?" Joelle asked. Patch did not answer, he looked to the side, eyes moving up to her in insecurity.

"I promise I won't hurt you," Joelle smiled. "You must be freezing, too. It's winter and you're only wearing that rag."

"Which he will continue to wear as long as he serves me." Said another voice suddenly. Joelle looked up. Tom stood in the doorframe, good looking as always. She was not sure for how long he has been standing there; she did not even hear him coming.

"Haven't I forbidden you to speak to her?" He walked over to Patch with firm steps; the elf instantly hid behind Joelle. Joelle pushed out her chest, standing in front of Tom, glaring.

"Don't you dare hurt him!" She hissed. Tom looked into her eyes, down to the elf that peeked around Joelle's leg, and gave it a cold but all knowing nod before he looked up to Joelle, smiling calculatedly.

"Come," said Tom. He turned around, not even glancing behind to see if she was following, he simply assumed that she did. And she did, furiously so. As Tom walked ahead of her and Joelle stared at the back of his head, she felt an electrifying urge she could not resist. She stormed ahead, reached out her hand but just before it could collide with Tom's head he spun around and grabbed her wrist firmly, glaring.

"Don't make yourself unhappy..." Tom said in a way only he could make it sound like a threat. Joelle seethed with anger, Tom watched her chest heaving up and down in attempts to control herself; she was shaking, as was her voice.

"Two prisoners now, hm? How low can you sink!" She growled.

"You'll stay long enough to find out how low I can sink," said Tom cooly, letting go of her. Joelle panted, her breathing was so unsteady that Tom kept staring at her for another minute just to make sure she wasn't going to try anything again. He turned around when he was sure she wouldn't do anything for now, but he had not foreseen her next words.

"I don't think so, _**Tom**_ ," Joelle said in a dark tone. Tom stopped abruptly, he stared ahead, it took at least a few seconds for him to return, but when he did, his eyes were not narrowed but widened with shaking rage, and before Joelle knew it, he had slapped her harshly across the face. The sound echoed in the corridor they stood in, Joelle did not turn her head back to him.

Just by saying the name he loathed so much, Joelle was showing him how much she has truly changed - and how much her view on him did, too.


	25. Dissolving Snowflakes

**Chapter 25: Dissolving Snowflakes**

 _Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living_ \- Mary Ritter Beard

The painful slap Joelle has received that evening was nothing compared to the feeling Tom left her in during the next days of his continuous absence. It was symbolic enough that there wasn't a single clock in the whole manor, no calendar, no newspaper, nothing to give her some sort of orientation; just like he never had an orientation as to when Joelle would come back; or if at all. It was then almost pointless to mention that none of Tom's puppets ever told Joelle what time of the week, what time of the day it was, but she tried nonetheless.

"Once more. I want to know what time it is, what day," said Joelle, frowning at Avery who was sitting in the large salon in front of her on an armchair, reading a book. He did not even look at Joelle anymore whenever she asked, his pointy chin merely raised a slight bit. Joelle narrowed her eyes; she saw Tom's cold arrogance in him.

"Above answering the silly questions of a woman, right?" Asked Joelle sharply. Avery's blue eyes looked at her, he closed the book.

"Darling, he doesn't want us to tell you. So we won't."

"Dance, dance..." Whispered Joelle. "At your master's command..." And then she suddenly laughed, throwing her head back. It was too ridiculous a situation than to not reward it with this reaction. Avery watched her, brooding and seething.

"Be quiet!" He suddenly bellowed when she didn't stop laughing, but Joelle grinned, sitting up at this. "Excuse me. I forgot he installed some weapons in his puppets."

"I am not his puppet!" Avery growled, aiming his wand at her. "But you are right. I told you. I am allowed to discipline you."

"You couldn't be less scarier than you already are, Avery. Go ahead. Show me what he taught you."

"Don't push me, girl."

"Oh, the fear!" Joelle chuckled. "It's not mine, though."

"You would be scared of him if you knew the things I know. He could care less about people like _you_! You are under the mercy of the strongest young wizard known to date! You are in no position to speak about fear, _mudblood_! Better thank Merlin to be alive!" Avery hissed. " ** _Crucio_**."

 _Pain_. There was just that one word Joelle thought of as soon as those words left Avery's lips. She gasped, half of her screams stuck in her throat when she fell down to the floor. The raspy and high pitched sound of her voice echoed throughout the manor before Avery pulled his wand away. He stared at Joelle with concentratedly widened eyes and a thin mouth before he turned around and walked off, locking the door. It took hours until it opened again.

It was Lestrange, but Joelle did not even look up. She sat in the corner next to the large window front, staring to the raindrops dissolving the snow; her eyes narrowed in thoughts upon the view. She did not glance at the second plate of food being set down next to her, nor touched anything of the third plate. The delivery of the fourth plate beheld a surprise: It was already late in the evening when Joelle was rustled to wake. Her eyes shot up only to stare into the merciless coldness of Tom.

"Get up," he said.

Joelle glanced at him long enough to provoke him; Tom pulled her up by her arm, clicking his tongue, and harshly pushed her ahead to the couch where she fell on due to the impact. She glared at him. "What do y-"

"You didn't eat," said Tom colorlessly. Joelle turned her face away, but because of the nervousness of not knowing when he might flip (thinking his expression could tell), she looked at him again.

"I'm not hungry."

"Not hungry," whispered Tom with a nod of fake understanding while looking into her eyes. Tom waved his wand in such a quick manner that it made Joelle jump in her seat. The fourth plate of food hovered over to them before it was set down on the coffee table with a spine shaking clinking sound.

"You will eat," said Tom, leaning back against the couch, watching Joelle. Silence invaded the room as the both of them stared at each other. Joelle felt the tension growing thicker, as if a loud yell couldn't carry her voice through the dense atmosphere, and once again, as Tom was sitting there so nonchalantly, Joelle was reminded of a snake awaiting the best moment to attack. Still yet, she shook her head determinedly.

"I won't eat," she said with her old strictness that Tom seemed to recognize at once judging by the quick twitch of his eyebrow. He nodded again, as if her answer couldn't shake him even if he wanted to.

"As you wish," he smiled. "I take it that Patch is not doing his job right. What good is a house elf when he can't even make decent food?" Tom then got up swiftly but Joelle's eyes widened; she instinctively grabbed his hand. Tom stopped and looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a victorious grin.

"No," Joellle whispered exasperatedly, though inwardly narrowing her eyes. Tom knew how to make her work. What did he care about personally forcing her to eat when he could as easily blackmail her? He knew that her big heart was roomy enough for Patch. The elf's life now lay in Joelle's hands. This was Tom's version of handing over responsibility to further ensure his power over her. Joelle clawed on the couch. _Always a trap._

"No?" Tom then asked when Joelle let go of his hand.

"I'll eat the food..." Joelle still glared at Tom. "Don't you have to go? As always?" She asked bitterly. She would've loved to see him leave again.

"No," said Tom, sitting back down. Of course he wanted to see if she was keeping her word. Joelle took the plate, then started to eat without further discussing. The food did not taste particularly good all the while under Tom's watchful eye. The nagging question still buzzed in her head, however, like the rain against the window, tapping, knocking.

"What day is it?" Asked Joelle then. Tom merely glanced at her as if he hadn't heard her question. Did she have to be nicer? Joelle sighed. "Please, tell me. I need to know."

The corners of Tom's lips slowly bent up and the color in Joelle's face started to fade only to be replaced with sheer red - she was angry. Angry about how much it worked to drive her insane, angry that she had no single idea how to change the situation. Not knowing how to help herself, she grabbed the plate and threw it Tom's way, but he simply raised his wand, causing the porcelain to fly back. It would have almost hit Joelle if she hadn't decided to duck just in time. The plate shattered on the floor; Joelle looked at the broken pieces. When she turned her face back around, Tom was right in front of her, causing Joelle to press herself against the couch in need to have as much distance between them as possible.

"Do you want to know what will happen if you continue your little tantrums?" He asked calmly. Joelle didn't answer, but thinking of the curse from Avery earlier gave her enough ideas of what Tom could be capable of. She shuddered at the thought of the pain and shook her head.

"Of course not," said Tom, twisting a strand of her hair around his index finger before he let go. "Come with me."

Joelle looked up to him curiously, but started to walk with him. She did not ask him where they were going, knowing Tom would only remain quiet anyway; she would find out soon enough. He was leading her into an empty room. Joelle glanced to every direction; this question she couldn't suppress. "What are we going to do?" She asked as Tom was standing in front of her in the daylight. His face was unreadable, mysterious. Until he pulled out his wand. Joelle frowned and stepped back, but Tom had his hand wrapped around her wrist before she could go too far. He squeezed it a little so that she opened her hand, shoving the wand in.

"Your wand?" She asked with a frown.

"It's not mine. The others have taught you a lot of theory during the past few weeks. Now we want to see how much you can implement," Tom said, circling around her. It made Joelle a tad jumpy; she glanced to him nervously, then looked to the wand. Surely it was stolen.

"What if it's not-"

"It will work fine for you," said Tom before Joelle could finish her sentence. "Unicorn hair. Ivy. Eleven inches long and...slightly springy. Try it out."

Joelle inspected the wand all the while Tom was speaking, then swung it at him. A ball of pale magenta light dashed towards Tom who merely stepped aside; the ball of light dissolved against the wall behind. Joelle stared at the wand, then at Tom. This was amazing, she couldn't help but to note it.

"Don't you know that I will try anything to find out how to get away now that I have a wand?" Joelle asked. Tom stared at her for a few seconds, then suddenly chuckled.

"Do you truly believe I couldn't stop you?" He asked. Joelle sighed, glancing away. Of course she did not truly believe that. But she hoped.

"Think again, my precious," said Tom. "I will only hand over your wand when I am here and when we practice together."

"Practicing...What for?" Joelle asked. Tom did not answer.

"Isn't it pointless? Considering I'm a _mudblood_ and all..." Joelle said bitterly, rolling her eyes, but she frowned when she saw Tom's ghostly expression. He pressed his lips together firmly and his eyes were slightly widened as he walked over to her, one hand clasped around her forearm.

"What did you just say?" He asked with a stern tone. "Did I just hear _mudblood_?" He scowled and hissed "who taught you that term?!"

Joelle didn't quite understand. "Avery, right after cursing me," she said. Tom only tightened his grip on her.

"He... what?" Tom asked, drawing himself closer to Joelle's puzzled face, possibly to catch her lying.

"But of course, you ordered them to, how did he word it, 'discipline' me."

Tom stared at her with a frozen expression that slowly grew determined on something.

"Disciplining you..." He said in a firm tone. "Remains with me."

Joelle merely looked at him, not responding. She did not share his opinion of course. Who was he to think he could discipline her? Who was he to think that he had all the power over her? And then she wondered. How much of what he has become was her fault? Joelle rubbed a hand through her hair, another habit she picked up. This wasn't a situation to just massage the bridge of her nose like she used to do back then when Tom was nothing but a boy. On a second thought he was probably never just a boy.

"What curse did he use on you?" Tom asked.

"I don't know," said Joelle, rubbing her forearm in discomfort. "But it hurt a lot..."

Tom stared at her again, just staring, not doing anything. Joelle couldn't quite catch it, but before Tom turned around to storm off she could've sworn that his face was red. "Wait here." He shouted firmly, then disappeared out of the door.

Joelle didn't see Avery again and she did not ask what happened to him.

It was a time of heartfelt coldness. The snowflakes started to disappear day by day, until everything outside turned a muddy brown. The sky was grey. Joelle would have loved to smell the scent of the rain, but it was likelier to win the noble prize in the fine arts than it was to be let out of Riddle manor.

Instead of Avery it was now Nott and Mulciber, and on rare occasions even Rosier that took turns watching Joelle when Tom wasn't here. She would have started to hang out with Patch the house elf, but she was forbidden to do so. A strict command from Tom, of course. Ever since their first failed session of training with him, practicing spells was put on a small pause. The reason for this was that Tom disappeared and hadn't come back for the twenty second night Joelle counted by now. Where was he? Where did he go? What was he planning? And what role did she play in his plans?

"You're cheating!" Groaned Black, putting down his set of cards while Lestrange laughed out loud. "You're just a bad loser. That's how poker works."

"Would love to play it with one or the other gal," said Black with a grin. "Joelle's out of reach, though. What a pity. To be honest, a fine lady like that shouldn't sit here and wait for her man to return only to be punished with silence until he leaves again."

"I agree," said Lestrange. "At least she stopped that attitude towards us."

"That's because she's not talking to us at all," Black frowned.

"She still needs time to adjust. She's been here for what, six, seven weeks? Poor girl didn't even notice she missed Christmas. He didn't tell her," said Lestrange. "I wonder if he'll come here today. It's New Year's Eve after all...Look at the storm though. Can't do anything while it rains like that."

"True," Black chuckled. "Babysitting the shrew on New Year's Eve...at least she's nice to look at."

"Shh," said Lestrange. "We don't want him to hear that. You'll be punished next, like Avery. Nott told me he almost didn't make it. He's still at the hospital."

"Well...really, calling the kitten that. And then the Cruciatus curse. Avery can consider himself lucky that he wasn't killed. I wonder what he told him in order to stay alive..." Said Black. "He called her _that_..." 

"Strange, huh? Avery is...well, was most devoted to him. Pff...serves Avery right, he's always been trying to be ahead of us in terms of loyalty. As if we aren't faithful!" Lestrange grumbled.

"Then how could- wait. Did you hear this?" Black asked, sitting up. Lestrange looked round. "What is it? Did she open the door again? I double checked, used three different spells, she can't-"

"No, not the door," Black frowned and got up. When he walked ahead he heard somebody or some people walking upstairs with giggly voices. Black exchanged looks with Lestrange and the both of them instantly took off after the noise, their wands pulled out.

"So this is the Riddle house? Is it, Bob?" Asked a male voice.

"Yeh," said another. "This is it," he said. "This is where they said 'e, Riddle senior and the rest, died. Just found the mangled bodies, the gardener said it wasn't him; bunch'a crap if ye ask me. He was the only one with a key."

"Oi, I was sure I've seen some candles earlier, by the window," said one of them.

"Absolutely impossible, Drake. Unless...their souls haunt this manor!" Bob roared at Drake, causing the latter to further dash upstairs. Black and Lestrange looked at each other again with frowns, then sighed and shook their heads, taking after them quietly.

"Same old, same old. Always the curious. The last pack from Halloween was annoying as it is. Shall I kill them this time? I need to practice the killing curse a bit more," said Lestrange. Black shrugged, but cleared his throat. "Go ahead then."

Green light shone through the windows of Riddle manor as the storm proceeded to sing its song outside, accompanied by the howls of the wind and bass of the thunder.

The thunder continued throughout the night. And with the thunder came another flash of light while everyone was asleep. The large door in the entrance hall opened and closed again loudly, heavy footsteps caused Joelle to wake up. She heard a person stomping upstairs and crawled out of the bed with the idea to glance out of the room to see who it was, but just when she was about to push down the handle, the door flung open and Joelle staggered back. Tom stood in front of her breathlessly, his pale skin almost glowing from the moonlight, not reflecting the four weeks of his absence; he still looked the same. Joelle heard her pondering heartbeat, but before she could say or do something else, Tom had pushed her against the wall firmly, swinging himself against her body with his hungry lips pressed to hers. He kissed her in a way she has never been kissed before; those years, all those years hidden between them.


	26. Unanswered

**Chapter 26: Unanswered**

 _In order to understand, I destroyed myself -_ Fernando Pessoa

"What..." Joelle whispered when Tom drew away from her face. He bit his bottom lip while his forehead kept resting against hers, eyes squinted shut. There was this little something that seemed to torture his sanity; his fists clenched. It looked like he wanted to voice a thought, but he didn't.

"You can't leave without an answer this time..." Joelle said when Tom merely turned around and marched off despite Joelle calling out to him. He locked the door again. And was gone.

Joelle sat down on the bed, starting to rub both of her hands through her hair in desperate attempts to understand him. Aside from the obvious, there was something else wrong with that kiss. It was so difficult to separate the young boy he once was from the older man he has become - with so much that happened while he grew up. He became even more of a stranger than he already was as a child; a boy with a terrible habit of keeping most of his thoughts to himself. Even though Joelle could only guess how much worse he had gotten during the past six years, she also knew that Tom never let go of her memory just like she could never let go of his, despite her weak attempts of trying to forget.

Still yet, she thought she had to explain to him. Had to explain why she has left those years ago, had to explain her version, had to explain why he could never find her, and what role Dumbledore played. She would do it if only she didn't know better. Tom wouldn't listen. He didn't want to hear it.

Joelle lay awake the whole night. The kiss didn't let her go. He had simply stormed up to her after a month of not appearing at all, as if she was the only thing that mattered after his return. As if that kiss could express what he truly thought - and even though it couldn't be more obvious, Joelle was left in the darkness of a mystery. What was it? What did that kiss mean? Was it a promise? Was it a threat? Did he seal something with it? Did he ask for something with it? Did he, perhaps, not think at all?

The door opened hours later. Joelle expected to see Lestrange or Black; she was sure that Tom had left again, but she was wrong. It was Tom standing by the doorframe, walking into the room to move the curtains to the side. The sun hurt Joelle's eyes after laying there in the darkness for some time, she turned her face away with a crunched up nose.

"Get up," said Tom in his usual cold voice; as if nothing of last night has even happened. For a few seconds Joelle doubted her own mental health, thinking she has just made it up, but she was sure that it was real.

"Come to the dining room in ten minutes," Tom said and left the room. After Joelle took a quick shower, she walked downstairs into the dining room which she basically never visited as she was forced to eat in the salon under the watchful eyes of Tom's puppets. She lowered herself down onto a chair, glancing at the richly filled table. Tom sat in front of her. Joelle felt her heartbeat quickening against her chest - he was here now. Questions, so many questions she wanted to ask before he would leave again and not come back for another month. Tom raised an eyebrow as he watched Joelle's mouth opening and closing again repeatedly. He smirked a little.

"I'll stay for a while," he said, sipping on his tea.

Joelle turned her face away in a slight blush upon getting caught.

"Lestrange and the rest reported that you have been trying to break out of this manor for seventeen times since my absence," he said calmly while adding honey to his bread. Joelle didn't respond.

"Let me teach you why it's unwise to show your face to the world," Tom smiled, unfolding something. Joelle's eyes widened when she saw her face on the first page of the _London Local_ newspapers.

* * *

 **SHOCKING NEWS! DID SHE KILL** **THEM ALONE?**

 _London. The ongoing search operation for main defendant Joelle Cole (24) has not yet come to an end. Further investigations, however, have shown a new facet of the internationally reported murder acts of late November 1945. Joelle Cole might not have performed the crime all by herself, but has possibly received aid by a man of law:_

 _Upon a promising hint by an anonymous witness, officer Bryan Lessing (25) has been taken into custody for further investigation._

 _Lessing is said to have assisted his long-loved girlfriend Joelle Cole in the criminal acts, but has not yet accepted to give a public statement about the accusation._

 _Joelle Cole has not been seen after the murder acts of November 1945. If you have recognized the young woman (picture on the left) or know any hints of her whereabouts, please contact your local police department._

* * *

Joelle's mouth gapped open in a silent scream. Her eyes were widened, her voice merely managed to croak a tiny "Bryan...". She looked at Tom, who bit into his crunchy bread, staring at her.

"...WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Joelle yelled, slamming her arms onto the table's surface, bending closer to stare into Tom's eyes. Tom put his bread onto the plate all too calmly, rubbing his hands, then cleared his throat. He leaned closer over the table as well.

"I expect some more thankfulness. You don't want to receive death penalty once they catch you, do you?"

"BRYAN IS INNOCENT! I AM INNOCENT!" Joelle yelped, falling back into the chair, breaking out in hysterical tears, repeating it over and over again. "I am innocent, I am innocent..."

Tom listened to her sobbing. He watched how Joelle pulled up her knees, rocking forwards and backwards a little in attempts to calm herself down. He hasn't heard her cry like this for ages. It must have been the first time after all those years; he recognized the sound from when he had forcefully taken her to Hogwarts against her will. Sure, she cried a lot when she realized what happened in the orphanage, but shock forbade her to cry the way she cried now. Maybe realization came now with this newspaper article.

"Innocent..." Tom whispered more to himself. "You call yourself innocent?" He asked.

Joelle looked up to him with swollen red eyes and pink cheeks. Tom's eyebrows twitched together upon the view; and he noticed something about himself that he hasn't noticed before. He really liked to see her cry. Not for the reason of hurting Joelle, even though he had to admit that he liked the emotional impact he had on her, but there was something else he liked when she cried. She was so vulnerable with that perfect world shattering, she was so exposed to him when the silvery tears poured down her cheeks - it was like laying there naked.

"All his revenge..." Joelle said under a tear drowned voice. "It's pointless, so pointless..."

"Revenge?" Tom asked, then chuckled again. "What I have done was not an act of revenge. Not at all."

"I just don't understand you..." She whispered. "I just don't understand what you want...and why did you get Bryan into trouble?! He has never done anything; you didn't have a reaso-"

"I," Tom started firmly, "had enough reasons. But lets not dwell in the past. I want you to realize that this place is your shelter. If you by any chance manage to escape it's an illusion to believe that your life will be better. If law doesn't get you first, there are enough people that are very much able to kill after war, my dear. People that are waiting to let out their anger on you, a declared enemy, after such troubling times."

Joelle looked at him with those round eyes again; as if she had to slowly process the lesson Tom taught her.

"Please leave Bryan out of that..." Joelle whispered. "Please!"

Tom stared at her with the faintest of grins on his straight lined lips. "What are you willing to give me for his freedom?" He asked smoothly; as if something worked just according to plan.

"My freedom."

Tom stared at Joelle upon those words. He leaned back against the chair again, nodding while he picked up his bread. "So be it."

"But I want answers," said Joelle firmly. Tom glanced at her. "Answers?" He asked. "You will have your answers sooner or later."

"I don't care about sooner or later. I want them _now_ ," said Joelle. Tom smirked when she picked up the sternness from back then.

"You make it sound as though you have a real choice," he murmured, but Joelle merely glared. "Be fair. I just agreed on staying with you for Bryan's sake. You can at least answer my questions."

Tom chuckled again. "As you wish. Ask," he said amused.

"Why are we here? What are we doing here? Where do you go when you leave? What are you doing? Why does it take you so long to come back? Why all of this?!" She bent yet a little closer when Tom yawned. She tried to catch his eyes, but she realized that he always tried a lot not to permit her seeing into them for a long time. Tom had a very curious way of staring; almost voyeuristic to some extent. It felt like his eyes could pierce through her very soul. Each time she tried to grasp him, grasp his attention by making him look at her, making him sensitive for her situation, he blocked it away. He used his eyes as a weapon, as a shield maybe. Whatever it was, they were not like those of a normal person. These eyes were strange. Empty. But full of darkness.

"Such silly questions, Joelle," Tom then said. Joelle scowled.

"SILLY?! Silly! You-"

"I can hear you very well," said Tom calmly, his gaze flickered up to her with a warning glint. Joelle scowled more.

"I'm not stupid. I know you're planning something."

"Well then, why taking away the surprise?" Tom asked, sipping on his tea again. Joelle's face reddened with wrath. "Can't we stop these little games?!" She hissed, but raised an eyebrow when Tom's amused expression fell into stiffness upon those words. He put his cup down and bent closer across the table.

"It was never a game, Joelle. Nothing was."

Yes. How right he was. It was probably never a game. All those silly rules when he was a child, the trial, the skirmish at Hogwarts. Nothing of it was a game. Joelle turned her face away with a drawn out sigh. There was some silence for the while they stared off to different directions.

"I've always believed in you," Joelle suddenly said, her voice sounded dry and sad. The pain was audible. "I've always seen the good in you."

Tom chuckled. "If this is the part where I have to apologize for something, let me know."

Joelle looked to him again, her eyebrows twitching, bottom lip waggling a tiny bit in attemps not to cry. "I never wanted any of this to happen. I know I have hurt you when I left, but-"

Joelle suddenly jumped. Tom sprang up from his chair so abrutply that she instantly felt nauseated; he stormed out of the dining room. Joelle stared to his empty spot with her nails digged onto the wooden table's surface, but she forbade herself to let it be. She ran after Tom.

"Wait!" She called out. "Wait!" She yelled again when Tom merely marched upstairs. Joelle stood below the staircase, staring up to him, then took off after him, hurrying along the corridor.

"Marvolo!" Shouted Joelle one last time, completely out of breath. She stared ahad to the figure that kept walking, but as soon as that name left her lips, he stopped dead in his tracks. He did not turn around for at least a few seconds. There they stood, apart from each other in a lonely manor, without answers, without knowing what was happening. But something has just happend. And it happend when Joelle said that name.

She walked up to him, standing right behind his back when he suddenly turned around and grasped her chin, staring into her eyes deeply. Joelle was sure that this was one of the rare moments where they would not seem dark and empty, but full of unanswered questions, too.

"Let's train you some magic," said Tom then, letting go. Joelle nodded, following him into the empty room from a few weeks ago.

"Stand there," he pointed ahead in front of him. Joelle did so, then received her wand.

"Don't hold it so stiffly," he said. Joelle murmured something under her breath. "I must be the first one making mistakes even by holding a wand..."

By the end of the day, it turned it that Tom was either a brilliant teacher, or Joelle a great learner - she managed most of the things that he showed her. A couple of days later she was already able to levitate objects, summon her beloved unicorn books, and even manage to heal tiny wounds. Tom did not tell her why he taught her these things, and Joelle stopped asking. She knew that with each day she learned more, she was closer to finding out herself. Even while it destroyed herself to not ask, to not know, to stay for Bryan's sake, she wanted to understand. To understand the situation, to understand him; Tom. To answer the questions that he would remain unanswered otherwise.

"What are you reading there all the time?" Joelle then asked later that night when Tom sat in front of the fireplace with the exact same book that he always had in his hands. The orange light of the fire reflected in his eyes, making them glow demonically red; a slight grin crept up his lips.

Joelle gasped upon reading the book's title.

 **Guess what he's reading?**


	27. Dangerous Realization

**AN: exactly! 100 points for in-that-reason! :D**

 **And Blerb, you are incredibly cute, thanks for reviewing regularly! (Same thanks to the other reviewers, too! You guys are great! And part of the reason why I'm so motivated to write this story.**

* * *

 **Chapter 27: Dangerous Realization**

 _The truth exposes some people so deeply; their last defense is to front a carefree insanity_ \- Criss Jami

"Soul Binding. The Unbreakable Bond," Joelle read out. It was a thick book, she guessed it carried at least seven hundred pages. Judging by Tom's progress he must have almost been done with it. Joelle frowned. How much time would it take for somebody to read this? And understand?

"Marvolo, what are you planning?" She asked. Tom did not answer, he merely continued reading in silence. For a quick moment Joelle wanted to rip the book out of his hands and throw it into the fire, but decided against it as she did not really know what it truly was about. Maybe it was something completely different than what was on her mind? As if their souls could be united; silly. Just when she tried to ask, Tom closed the book and it dissolved into thin air - Joelle was sure he magically brought it to a place out of her reach.

"I will have to leave you again tomorrow," Tom then said. Joelle looked at him.

"Why?" She asked, but he did not answer, as always. It left Joelle with a strong sigh. Did she not learn it by now? Did she not learn that he wouldn't answer her questions?

"I hate staying here," she then admitted. Her eyes wandered over to the window again. Tom rubbed his chin, then got up, holding out his hand to her. Joelle glanced at it for a few seconds, as if making sure it was real, then hesitantly took it before they walked into the entrance hall together. Tom grabbed a dark coat and wrapped it around Joelle, pulling up the cape that now covered most of her face. They stared into each other's eyes while Tom tucked and fixed her robes, then simply pressed the flat of his hand to her back, leading her outside.

Joelle felt reborn. She smiled brightly upon the view and scent of the fresh aired scenery, letting herself being pulled over to the backside of the house and to a beautiful garden on top of the hill where Riddle manor towered. It didn't rain today, and even though it was incredibly cold, she felt warmer than before.

"It's beautiful," said Joelle, instinctively walking faster, but Tom slowed her down by squeezing on her hand. He was always so controlling. They glanced at each other for a quick moment, then looked to different directions again.

There were many words on Joelle's lips that kept hanging there without coming loose. Where would he go tomorrow? When would he be back? What will happen meanwhile? Will her life go on like this for years? Or will he, perhaps, realize how pointless it is? Will he understand that Joelle needed to spread her wings? Or would he make sure to keep her in this gilded cage? The more Joelle thought of it, the more she realized that she found it difficult to hope for any change that could turn her life into the better. She had trouble accepting it - but she knew that Bryan's life depended on her decision, which left her no other choice but to take whatever Tom had in stock for her. She narrowed her eyes. Should she have listened to her aunt when she had warned her back then? Would it have changed something? Why and when has Joelle become Tom's choice? Just because she was there?

"Because I was bored." Tom suddenly said. Joelle raised her head. What? Because he was bored? Then she frowned. Did he know what she was thinking?

"I chose you because I was bored," said Tom simply, not looking at her. So he indeed knew.

"The pictures in your head have been very rapidly moving ever since I got you back," he said. Joelle understood nothing - but she disliked that he could know these intimate things. Then it clicked. She remembered forbidding Tom to use this technique on her when he found a particular book in the library at Hogwarts. It had a strange name. Legli-something. Whatever the name was, Joelle knew better than to argue about it; she merely concentrated on what he actually said.

"You were bored?" She asked. "You decided to do all of these things when you were a child because...you were bored?"

"Were you expecting a deeper reason? A reason you may have read in silly novels, where everything happens because of oh so complex mechanisms and dynamics of compassion?"

Joelle looked away from him when he asked this, she could barely take his sharp tongue.

"It would have been easier for me to cope with all of this if only I knew it wasn't boredom that destroyed my life," she said firmly.

"You will have enough time to cope with it. I can assure you this, my dear," said Tom simply. The feeling of warmth was gone at once when they sat down on a bench and punished each other with mutual avoidance; building up walls of ice cold snow.

For a brief moment Joelle wondered if the only solution was melting completely; melting into nothingness and disappear - leaving everything behind, no worries, no sorrow, no unanswered questions. No questions at all.

"Death is never a solution," said Tom suddenly. Joelle glanced at him, then away again.

"Do you think I would let this happen?" He asked. "Let you slip away like that?"

"I want peace," said Joelle dryly. "That's all."

"Peace," Tom repeated with an amused tone. "How selfish of you."

"Selfish?" Joelle asked, her voice trembling in disbelief. "I am selfish? I?"

"That you are."

"Who made you the professor of selflessness?!" Joelle hissed. "You don't know what it means to sacrifice your own happiness."

Tom simply stared at Joelle when she said that, and she understood what it meant. Silence danced around them with the wind.

"What does your ideal future look like?" Tom suddenly asked while staring into the distance. His voice was calm and carried a tone in it that Joelle hasn't heard before, it almost sounded melancholic.

"Why don't you tell me?" Joelle asked with a frown.

"You don't imagine your future," said Tom. "You don't think of it."

Joelle stared at him again. He was right. It was difficult to imagine her life while being locked in this condition of uncertainty.

"I don't know," Joelle said truthfully after giving it some time to think. "I don't know."

"No cliché life? No wedding? No children? No tree in your garden?" Asked Tom, expanding the ever occurring silence that started to create its nest yet again. And just in that moment Joelle noticed the snowflakes that began to fall down from the sky. She looked up.

"A tree?" Joelle chuckled in realization. "A tree...where we built snowmen?"

Dinner was spent quietly. Joelle stared to the pumpkin cream soup in her bowl. Even though it tasted exquisite, she had trouble eating; as always.

"I know you don't consider me in the position to ask for any favor. But could you leave the elf go?"

Tom did not even look up from his bowl when she asked this. Surely he was prepared for this discussion long ago.

"There are creatures that are born to serve, Joelle. Patch is one of them."

"Since when are you a believer of the strength of predetermined destiny?" Joelle asked. "You, somebody who shapes and creates rather than accepts..."

"I appreciate your flattering. Now I must only teach you how to master it," said Tom smoothly, putting aside his bowl. Joelle huffed.

"Let's leave the arrogance out of this for once, Marvolo," she said sternly. Tom considered her; a subconscious reaction to the name she used.

"The elf will stay. He will provide you with meals," said Tom firmly.

"Martha said that my food tasted better when I was younger. She was right about it. I wasn't very motivated after Ellie died. But I do defend the position that I'm very much capable of cooking myself..."

Tom glanced at her then, a slight grin creeping up his lips, but he didn't comment.

"Whoah, wait!" Joelle frowned. "Are you implying I can't cook? Are- no." She crosses her arms when Tom chuckled voicelessly.

"Was it that bad?" Joelle then asked and Tom shook his head. "I haven't tasted better waffles anywhere," he said with a gentle smile.

Joelle grinned to herself and blushed a slight bit, then frowned upon a thought. She fell right into his trap of flattering. Tom smirked at her all the while watching her realizing this, but none of them commented it.

"To leave the jokes aside, I need some tasks. I need something to do," said Joelle then.

"Focus on your studies," said Tom. "You have a lot of theory to go."

"Why can't I come with you?" Joelle spluttered out before she could stop it. Was she an idiot? It was a good thing that Tom wasn't around her - the man who destroyed her life and that of many others. She needed to explain; maybe more to herself.

"Staying here with your puppets is driving me crazy," Joelle sighed.

"Puppets," Tom repeated in an amused murmur before he went on. "No, my dear. You cannot come with me tomorrow. There is something I need to take care of before I come back."

He needed to take care of something? The "taking care of what?" almost left Joelle's lips, but she could stop it just in time. Maybe rephrasing it could get her closer to what she truly wanted to know.

"I don't understand it. You want me to be in your life - yet you exclude me from most of it. Make up your mind, finally," said Joelle in a harsh tone that reflected the frustration she felt.

Tom stared at Joelle, his lips in a straight line like most of the time. He looked so apathetic. Joelle wondered if Tom had to tell himself not to show any emotions, or if this blankness was merely the mirror of his true environment of feelings. As always, Tom was above commenting most of whatever she said. Joelle growled to herself. How could somebody be so arrogant, yet cover it with such smoothness that it left her impressed?

"I must have built up the illusion for you that you, how did you word it, are excluded from my life," said Tom, sipping on his tea. "Quite in fact, you couldn't be included more than you already are."

"If this is as much as it gets then I don't know what little means to you," said Joelle, raising an eyebrow.

"I never said you were let in on how much you are included," said Tom. "I thought that was painfully obvious as it is."

"You leave me with more questions than answers. It gets a little unclear in this jungle of unspoken words - too easy to get lost," said Joelle.

"I told you that I will be back. That's more than you have ever left me with," said Tom colorlessly. Joelle scowled.

"I need more orientation than that. But if you are too busy tending to your wounds from the past, too busy hating me because I have left, too busy to hear me out...well, I suppose that's how it is. I can't help it," Joelle crossed her arms, looking away, knowing she just blocked the last bit of what was left of the chance of finding out more about Tom's plans.

"You will have to watch your tone with me, my dear. Your freedom of speech is not to be mistaken with freedom of content," his eyes flickered over to her. Joelle chuckled and shook her head. She didn't know where to start commenting, so she didn't comment at all.

Joelle watched from upstairs as Tom walked over to the door the next morning. He stopped for a second before he pushed down the door handle, turning around. He caught her staring. They looked at each other for a few more seconds before Tom merely turned around and left without another word. Joelle sighed, but jumped when Black walked up from behind and rested a hand on her shoulder.

"On time," she said to him. Black nodded with a faint smile.

"Do you know where he's going or what he's doing?" Joelle asked. Black did not comment at first, but then nodded.

"Yes, I do," he said. Joelle glanced to the left and right. She had to know, had to find out.

"Can't you tell me? I promise I won't tell him," Joelle hurried up when Black already turned his face away from her with a heavy sigh.

Joelle frowned. How could she get him to tell her? And she had an idea. She bit her bottom lip when Black looked away from her for dear life. She walked closer to him, taking his hand. Black frowned, but he did not dare to look at her when Joelle pulled him a little closer - and suddenly kissed his cheek softly.

"Tell me..." She purred into his ear and pushed his hands to her hips, allowing him to feel her up a little. Black's mouth was gapped open, he gulped and looked down to her body, then to her mouth. Joelle drew a little closer; blowing warm and damp breath onto Black's bottom lip as their bodies were pressed together. Their lips were almost touching, but just before they kissed, Joelle drew away, shaking her head. What was she doing?

"Ngh, I'm sorry," she stepped back. "How low can I sink...I was about to prostitute myself for an answer..." She ran a hand through her hair, not knowing what was happening to her sanity. Black bit his bottom lip, inhaling deeply when Joelle walked past him and patted his shoulder; he bent down a slight bit, glancing between his legs, then to the left and right, walking off to a bathroom as soon as Joelle disappeared.

Days passed. Nott and Lestrange took turns watching Joelle and teaching her more theory. By the end of the week, they gave her a little test to fill out, leaving the assessment to Tom, however. Joelle did not see Black ever since their last incident, but when Nott had to go because he caught a cold, he was back again. They sat in the library together, awkward silence around them.

"Look, about our little...embarrassing encounter the last time. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," said Joelle. Black forced a smile.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I got a little too carried away, too. I should have...pushed you away. Not that you would deserve being pushed away, I- I mean. Not that I would - or..." He paused and rubbed his fist against his forehead before he continued. "I just shouldn't have let it get that far. Even though...nothing happened. Nothing worth mentioning, I mean. Of course it's worth it, it's just-"

"Honey. Just be quiet, okay?" Joelle grinned while reading and Black cleared his throat, grinning back. They kept quiet as they studied together.

"He will come back tonight," Black suddenly said. Joelle looked up to him in concentration.

"And he asked me to pack your stuff with you," he said gently. Joelle frowned, not understanding.

"Pack? Where are we going?" Joelle asked. Black shook his head. "You and I aren't going anywhere. You and Tom are."

Whatever Black said, it left her with more questions than answers, so she stopped asking. She merely walked upstairs with him to pack the bag that Tom brought along when he had picked her up from the orphanage back then. Just when they added the last piece of fabric, the door of her bedroom opened. Tom leaned against the door frame, nudging his chin over his shoulder to motion Black to leave - which he did. Joelle rose up, fiddling around with the fabric of her dress as the door closed and Tom walked closer to her.

"We are leaving now," he said. Joelle glanced up. She knew Tom wouldn't answer the regular questions, so she asked something else.

"Is it going to be dangerous?" She asked.

"You are safe with me," said Tom.

"What if people recognize my face?" Joelle asked.

"You are safe with me," he said again, brushing her bottom lip with his thumb as he stared into her eyes, then bent down to pick up her bag. He grabbed her hand, then suddenly disappeared with a loud CRACK. It took a moment for Joelle to catch her breath and make the feeling of dizziness go away. At least she did not feel as nauseated as before when they first magically traveled.

"Why did we have to leave the manor?" Joelle asked as soon as her eyes fell on the small room they landed in. It beheld a closet and a large bed. It looked like a cheap hotel room.

"The manor will be in the possession of muggles by tomorrow," said Tom. "Not for long, of course. They have a tendency of moving out," a slight grin crept up his lips. Joelle was sure that Tom had something to do with it.

"Is it haunted?" She asked.

"Somewhat," said Tom. He put her bag into the closet, waving his wand at it. All their clothes hung in there at once. Joelle couldn't help but admire even that little bit of life magic that made life a tad easier. Tom stripped off of his cloak; only now Joelle noticed the black suit he was wearing. He looked incredibly good in it.

"Why the formal attire?" She asked when Tom walked over to her to help her out of her dark cloak as well.

"It so happens that clothes help a business bloom," said Tom. "Put a homeless into a suit and you can sell them about anything."

"You have your own business?" Joelle asked with a surprised tone. Tom shook his head.

"I was working for a business until today," said Tom, catching Joelle when she accidentally stumbled backwards. She blushed as she looked away, not wanting to see Tom's grin.

"Clumsy as always," he sighed. Joelle huffed, but had to realize that something was different. Tom seemed to be in a fairly good mood; he answered her questions after all.

"Is it just me or are you a tad more positive?"

"Joelle, let me ask you some questions myself," Tom said, sitting down with her on the bed. Joelle stared into his eyes.

"Do you remember when I asked you, a long time ago, if you wanted to live forever if you could?"

Joelle nodded, raising an eyebrow. For a brief moment Joelle wondered if Tom found a way to live forever - or if he worked on it, but then she chuckled and shook her head. It was too silly an idea. Nobody could be immortal.

"I was wondering what you think about it today. Back then...you did not exactly answer the question," he said.

"Imagine you live to witness all the upcoming wars on this planet..." Said Joelle softly. "Time has changed. Maybe I would have answered yes back then. Maybe I could have imagined to live forever. When I thought that it would be worth it. But it's not worth it," she looked away. Joelle was sure to catch a slight scowl from Tom, but when she looked, his face was as blank as it always was. The atmosphere changed, though.

Silence, their old friend, greeted them again as they sat next to each other on the bed. The wind was blowing outside; the only sound for the next while. The fire of the candles danced in the room. Joelle frowned when suddenly, a hand rested on her thigh, squeezing on it to grasp her attention. Joelle's eyes widened when she turned her face to Tom, seeing some kind of red, demonic glimpse in his irises. She gasped, scooting away a bit, but Tom only smirked.

Joelle always thought that Tom had something planned for her, but now she knew it was worse than that. Tom had long left he stage of planning behind. He pulled her closer, cupping her terrified face - and sealed this realization with a kiss to her forehead.


	28. Hello, Joelle

**Chapter 28: Hello, Joelle**

 _So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing_ \- T.S. Eliot

Joelle glanced away as soon as Tom withdrew from her forehead, but her eyes moved back and were glued to his tie and dark suit the next moment. She just hoped that he would take it off and wear something less attractive. Judging by the grin that started to creep up his lips, he either knew what she was thinking of, or he could downright guess it by the dumb look of her face.

"I'm sorry we have to share a bed," said Tom even though he did not sound like he pitied that all too much.

"I doubt you are sorry," said Joelle dryly. Tom's lips twitched again. She was probably right.

"What are you thinking of?" She suddenly asked. She knew men hated this question - at least those men she met so far. And Tom seemed to be no exception in this rule; he did not answer her yet again. Joelle rolled her eyes in annoyance. She shouldn't be the one trying to make a conversation; as if she had anything to make up to him. Surely not.

Tom got up and took off his tie, tossing it onto the bed, then walked into the bathroom. Joelle heard the shower starting and she used this opportunity to get dressed into her sleepwear. She cuddled down into the bed and stared up to the ceiling, sighing a bit. Life was such a crazy thing, she thought. And with those words she fell asleep, oblivious to the fact that she has been watched all night.

"Joelle."

Joelle opened her eyes, yawning heartily. Her head turned over to Tom, who was standing in front of her, fully dressed, ready to take over the world with his good looks.

"Mhh?" She asked. Tom chuckled lowly.

"I know you hate getting up early. But we have to," he said. "Come on."

Joelle just looked up at him as if he had insulted her. Her eyebrows were pressed together firmly, a slight pout grew on her lips, she clung to the blanket. Tom glanced at her for a few more seconds before he straightened his back and waved his wand at her; the blanket pulled away and the coldness of the room attacked Joelle's skin. She yelped and jumped up, much to the amusement of Tom, who leaned against the wall with crossed arms, watching her struggle of life.

"Turn around," she grumbled lowly when she roamed around in her bag to look for her clothes, then remembered they were hanging in the closet to which she stumbled over and pulled out something to wear. She looked at Tom expectantly, but his expression was as blank as always, lips in a straight line. Joelle frowned.

"If you want me to come with you, you will have to turn around. I can't change- Ngh. Move. Let me get into the bathroom at least!" Joelle frowned when Tom didn't budge. They stared into each other's eyes before Tom bent a little closer to her face, twisting a strand of her hair around his index finger.

"Don't hiss so much," he whispered in a hypnotizing tone, then stepped away. Joelle held her breath but disappeared behind the door quickly, locking it.

"And do you really believe I couldn't get in if I wanted to?" Tom asked amused. "You certainly remember my little...proclivity for doors."

"I remember very well..." Joelle grumbled, then walked out, fully dressed. Tom took in the view of her for a moment, but turned his face away and grabbed her hand, disapparating without a warning. Joelle stumbled forward when they arrived in what looked like a forest, feeling dizzy again, but quickly caught herself. She was getting used to it by now.

"What are we doing here?" Joelle asked.

"Looking for something," said Tom. Joelle rubbed her eyes but she did not seem to understand. On a second note, she was not very sure if she really wanted to understand any of this. Tom started walking, scanning the area with his eyes. This went on for at least an hour before Joelle broke the silence out of nowhere.

"Marvolo, what exactly does mudblood mean?" She asked. Tom stopped walking abruptly, his face darkened upon the term. He turned around to her.

"I don't want to hear that word from your lips, do you understand me?" He warned in a stern tone. Joelle frowned.

"That doesn't make me understand what it really means, though," she said protestingly. Tom considered her, his strict gaze boring into her child-like expression, he inhaled deeply, then nodded and pulled her down onto a log.

"A mudblood is a term for a person with magical abilities but non-magical parents," Tom explained. Joelle tilted her head to the side. "A person like me? So it is considered a bad thing?"

Tom glanced at her for a bit, his lips pursing sharply. He nodded. "You are an exception," he murmured, then turned his face away from her, narrowing his eyes. "Now you know what the term means. Don't mention it again."

"Why not?" Joelle asked with a frown. Tom merely shook his head and was about to get up, but Joelle held him back.

"I always explained everything to you when you had questions back then," she said. Tom glanced into her eyes, there was something in them that didn't remind Joelle of the usual emptiness, but she couldn't really grasp what it was. Maybe he did not like remembering his past; a reference to a time where things were okay - memories that shook the little bit of humanity that was left in him. Tom did not answer, so Joelle continued to speak.

"When Avery attacked me with that term...I got a slight idea of it being an insult and something very rude to say. But I think there are more things to it. Something that you don't mention. I don't know why not, though."

Tom stared at her again. He chuckled bitterly, but did not further comment. Joelle went on.

"Avery also mentioned...something else. He said if only I knew what you're capable of, I would be scared of you. He said you're the strongest young wizard known. He said that you could care less about people like _me_ ; a mudblood."

Tom gritted his teeth, his fists clenched. "Avery clearly got too carried away praising me."

"What are the things you're capable of?" Joelle asked. Tom looked at her again; a slight smirk crept up his lips.

"You'll find out very soon," he said, pulling her up. They continued their walk.

"Marvolo, why are we here, what are we looking for?" Joelle asked.

"I have come here before. But I didn't find it. I scanned the northern region of the forest and the eastern region. I am looking for an enchanted tree. Only a witch or wizard can see it."

"And are you going to pack it up into your bag as a souvenir from...where are we anyway?"

"We are in Albania."

"Al-" Joelle gasped. "What for?!"

"Haven't I told you?" Tom asked half annoyed. "I want you to tell me in case you see a tree that sort of seems out of place. Come on."

For hours they have been walking around in the woods, no sign of said tree whatsoever. Frustrated enough, Tom and Joelle were back in the hotel room in the evening. Joelle looked at Tom, who's been quiet ever since their last conversation in the morning.

"Are you sure it still exists? What if the muggles deforested a part of-"

"It is magically protected. Impossible to simply chop off," said Tom with a hint of a degrading tone. He got up from the bed and walked over into the bathroom, closing the door. Joelle heard the water starting and leaned back, staring up to the ceiling, then looked around the room in boredom, glancing over to Tom's bag. After another minute of trying to ignore it, Joelle sat upright.

She wondered what was inside the bag. It looked stuffed. Their clothes hung in the closet, what else could be in there? Could it, perhaps, be something that gave her an idea of why they were here? Joelle got up from the bed, glanced over to the door to make sure Tom wasn't leaning against it already, and quickly opened the bag. A surprising view.

Joelle smiled to herself when she pulled out a particular black scarf. She just couldn't help the happy memories of back then when she first gave the scarf to Tom in 1937. The pictures were flashing before her eyes. How Joelle wrapped the scarf around freezing Tom's neck, how he threw it into the snow because of his jealousy when she talked to Amy, how she called him back, how they built their snowman together - how she wrapped the scarf around him again so he was warm enough to visit their snowman until she came back.

Tom still had the scarf after so many years.

Joelle lowered her head, feeling bad about how things have developed and wished she could turn back time to change everything, to really make sure that Tom would not become whatever he was today; Joelle frowned at the thought of knowing that she had failed, and she failed miserably. Just when she was about to put the scarf back into the bag, her fingertips brushed along something else - a black leathery book. Tom's diary. The very diary she gave him for his birthday. Could she dare take a glimpse? Joelle's eyes flickered over to the door, but it was still locked. She cleared her throat, had some mental argument with herself about this being wrong - she had no right to read his diary, no right at all. But then again, what if Tom wrote down his plans? What if writing was his way of expressing his feelings? It was very much her right to find out what he had in stock for her - she was most involved, after all, was she not? Joelle nodded to herself, opened the first page with her mouth hanging open in concentration, then frowned. Nothing. She skipped to the next page. Nothing. The diary was empty, not even a single drop of ink was visible, nothing. Did Tom merely keep it because it was something from her, like the scarf? Joelle shook her head. _No_. Her intuition and long experience with Tom told her that this man did nothing 'just because'. Whatever it was that Tom planned, it was well prepared and justified. Even though often impulsive as a child, Tom has grown up to be even more calculating.

Joelle thought about her hours of theory she read about; she faintly remembered that it was possible to magically conceal messages. She glanced around in hope to see her wand or maybe Tom's - but of course it wasn't there. Some rustling behind the door caused Joelle to quickly put the diary back, she shot up from her position and randomly walked next to the window when Tom stepped back into the room. Joelle glanced over her shoulder. Tom stared at her for a moment, but his eyes flickered to the black scarf on the floor. Joelle gulped, her heart stopped beating for the split of a second, she mentally screamed at herself and simply turned around to stare out of the window so to not see whatever expression Tom had on his face right now. At least he did not comment.

"Aren't you hungry?" Tom asked when Joelle still did not turn around to him minutes later. Joelle was sure to have heard some slight amusement in his voice, but she tried not to think of it.

"No," she said, just when her stomach told Tom otherwise. Joelle blushed and clung to the window sill, hating her body and her brain for reacting to the mere mentioning of food.

"Are you sure?" Tom asked; this time Joelle downright heard the grin that was plastered on his face. Joelle cleared her throat, but another growl from her stomach could no longer drape the coat of pretending around her. She turned around, however, did not look into Tom's eyes for dear life.

"Where are we going to eat?" She asked. Tom nudged his chin towards the window on the other side of the room. Joelle's eyes fell out into the darkness that was lit up by only one building; it looked like a store. She felt quite uncomfortable to know that Tom would pay for her food - and the ongoing mental debates that resulted from that were unbearable. He had too much power over her.

Before Joelle could spend any more thoughts on the uncomfortableness of having Tom providing her meals, she was pulled downstairs and over to the store. It was fairly empty even though Joelle was sure that this was the only store for hundreds of miles. Tom picked a very secluded area for his operations; how many often has he been here to study?

Joelle glanced around the store as soon as they walked in, but did not touch anything; mainly because some of the food did not exactly look familiar. There were plenty of large mason jars filled with what looked like vinegar and vegetables; a lot of red meat somewhere else, and on the other side of the store they had round, white bread and baked somethings sprinkled with what looked like cut pistachios. Joelle would eat it all; she was hungry enough to chew on an elephant if only they sold one. She did not even notice that Tom had grabbed a couple of things that looked a lot like anything else she would buy at home: darker bread, cheese, and ham, only lighter. Chicken maybe? Joelle could not read the language and so she did not know and did not care enough to find out. As long as it was edible, she would be okay. Tom paid with a foreign currency; Joelle wondered where he got it from but she knew that if somebody was prepared, it was him.

They ate their sandwiches in silence once they were back and did not hear each other's voices for even the clearing of a throat.

It was a cold evening. Their cheap room did do its justice of making everything even worse due to the walls being somewhat paper-thin, resulting in Joelle rubbing up and down her thighs uncomfortably after taking a shower and stepping back into the icy room; not even the candles could help making her any warmer.

Tom sat on the bed with his legs stretched out in front of him; he was reading, as always. Joelle glanced to the left and right, not quite sure where to sit down as there was only the bed and a closet. She considered the floor for a moment before she noticed that Tom patted the spot next to him without even looking up from his book; Joelle felt the heat of embarrassment rising up from her cheeks to her toes - was she that easy to read?

She stiffly sat down next to Tom, staring ahead against the wall, her legs folded over her stomach. For some strange reason, Joelle was nervous. The more she tried to calm down, the more her breathing began to sound strangely cut off - like quiet coughing. Anxiety got the best of her and it attacked her out of nowhere. How was she supposed to fall asleep next to Tom? It was easier yesterday - he was taking a shower while Joelle slowly drifted into her dream wonderland where things were okay. Tonight, they would have to fall asleep together at the same time. Strange things to think of; did anyone understand how difficult it was to manage the simplest of life with Tom around?

Ripped out of her thoughts, Joelle flinched when Tom closed the book and put it onto the nightstand. She could hear the ticking of a clock somewhere in the room, but did not further spend time thinking about it when Tom waved his hand - and the candlelights died out. Joelle frowned. He could perform controlled wandless magic; even she knew that this was beyond special. Joelle lay down and turned her back on Tom; realizing that the nervousness came back again now that the darkness enhanced the silence between them even more.

"I am faster without you," Tom suddenly said. Joelle glanced over her shoulder when he continued to speak. "I will scan the forest by myself tomorrow. You're in my way.

You will stay here."

"I did not ask you to bring me along," she said bitterly. "Or did I?"

"This wasn't an invitation for a discussion," said Tom. "Good night."

Joelle glared ahead; she did not know why but she was incredibly angry about what he said. Did he bring her along because she was a witch; thinking she could find whatever he was looking for? Why didn't he ask any other, more talented witch he grew up with while he was still at school? Why her? And why was he so dissatisfied with her performance - did he expect a miracle? The nervousness was replaced by sheer anger; anger that increased when she glanced over her shoulder again and realized that Tom was already asleep; not troubled the least about what he said to her.

Tom was gone when Joelle woke up the next morning. His side of the bed was perfectly in place; as if nobody had slept there at all. Joelle also noticed that the bag was gone and did not bother looking for it, knowing Tom must have taken it with him. For a brief moment she wondered if Tom has actually left Joelle behind in general; nothing looked like he has ever been here. The book on the nightstand was gone as well. Joelle frowned and walked over to the closet to check if his clothes were there - and they were. Feeling slightly relieved for a reason she did not further want to reflect, she closed the door again but opened it once more. He put the bag into the closet. Surely he thought that Joelle had no reason to look inside; she would just stay in her comfortable clothes, having no reason to go out today. Joelle bit her bottom lip and, just in case, glanced over to the door, then to the bag and roamed around in it until her fingers touched the cold leather again. She pulled out Tom's diary and sat down on the bed. She planned on carefully looking through the pages, maybe she simply didn't see anything written in it yesterday because she was so nervous. She had time now.

Joelle opened the diary, and her eyes widened when on the second page she saw something that she was sure was not there yesterday.

" _Hello Joelle_ ," it read.

Joelle shook her head. Was this a joke? Was this Tom's way of pranking her? Feeling enraged, the thought about responding. She opened the drawer of the nightstand to look for something, and indeed, she found a quill and a bottle of ink.

" _Very funny, Marvolo_ ," Joelle wrote down. She was about to close the book and put it back into the bag when she realized that both Tom's and her words disappeared; as if they sank into the pages. And then some more words appeared.

" _How very charming to know that I succeeded_ ," it said with the same handwriting Tom always had. Joelle shook her head in disbelief. How was this possible? Did Tom have a copy of the diary and did he write to her as he wandered around in the forest? Joelle just did not understand this concept. Succeeded? Succeeded in what?

 _"Marvolo, is this really you? How can you write to me?" Joelle_ wrote back. The words disappeared again. Nothing came back for at least half a minute, a long time while waiting for something to happen.

" _Do you know where I am_?" It asked back. Joelle frowned and quickly responded.

" _What do you mean? You said you wanted to look for the tree alone, when will you be back? Where are you now?"_ She asked, convinced that Tom was responding to her this very moment, but she just could not shake off the feeling of dread and darkness connected the diary.

" _I am most certain that I will be back for you very soon, Joelle. Meanwhile, I think it is about time to show you something. Something I have prepared for you to see long ago."_


	29. Let me tell you something

**AN: oh I had fun with this chapter!**

 **Chapter 29: Let me tell you something**

 _I am not a snowflake. I am not a sweet, infantilising symbol of fragility and life. I am a strong, fierce, flawed adult woman. I plan to remain that way, in life and in death_. - Stella Young

Joelle frowned upon the words she read in the diary. Tom wanted to show her something. But what was it? Just when his words sank into the paper, the pages started to turn over quickly. Joelle glanced up to see a date appearing at the topmost corner. 26th of January 1943.

And then Joelle fell.

She screamed and called out Tom's name, she fell and fell and fell - but landed softly on the ground. Her heart raced so fast against her chest that she thought it would stop beating any moment. She glanced up to see where she had fallen out of, then looked around with startled eyes. Joelle wasn't in the hotel anymore. This room, but yes, of course; this was the Slytherin common room. Joelle rubbed a hand through her hair, she got up from the cold floor, wondering where to walk off to; her first idea was to see Dumbledore again, but just then she heard voices.

"Unbelievable! The jinx was so effective!" Said a male voice. Joelle bent her head closer to the scene. It was Lestrange. But he looked different. And there! Could it be? Was that Tom? He looked slightly younger and was followed by the rest of the gang.

"Marvolo?" Joelle asked in disbelief when the guys sat down on the couches, ignoring Joelle.

"Marvolo! Speak to me right now! What's going on?!" Joelle yelled, but nobody even seemed to hear her; they merely continued talking all the while she tried to grasp their attention. Infuriated, Joelle got up and stood in front of Tom, trying to grab his collar to shake him, but her hands merely went through the fabric - as if he was a ghost. Joelle frowned and shook her head in disbelief again; she looked at Tom with eyes wide open. He really did not see her. This was indeed the past. This was 1943.

"Yes, good night. I will be off to check the castle for some students strolling around," said Tom to the others while the boys walked over to their dormitories. Tom kept sitting in the armchair, rubbing his chin in a thought before his cold eyes swept over to the door. He got up and marched out. Joelle followed hastily, it was difficult keeping up with Tom; he was quick and his long legs carried him further ahead than her shorter legs could.

Tom glanced to the left and right as he walked upstairs to the first corridor in the darkness, some torches lit up the castle sparingly. Only now Joelle noticed that Tom was carrying a large book with a heavy leather cover and something that looked like a green serpent printed on it. Tom leaned closer to the walls, the firelight reflected a red gleam in his eyes as his face contorted into a beastly grin; it was as though he was hearing something while his hands moved around the bricks, feeling them up, as if he was looking for a secret door. Joelle shook her head, wanting to ask what he was doing but even before she realized that Tom couldn't respond to her anyway, she heard some strange sounds coming from his lips. They sounded like hissing; an ugly, foreign language. And then he was quiet, his eyes glanced to the left and right, he was waiting for an answer it seemed. Whatever it was, Joelle heard nothing, but Tom acted like somebody was responding - he nodded and grinned more.

Was Tom possessed by a demon? Did demons really exist? Could it be? Was that the language of a fallen angel? It would explain the red gleam in Tom's eyes - it would explain his possessive and obsessive nature, everything. Just when Joelle was sure that her conclusion was right, Tom walked into a room. Looking around, Joelle realized it was the girl's lavatory.

What a stalker. Joelle shook her head. Tom never cared much about privacy; maybe he heard a specific girl outside and wanted to meet her here. Even though the toilet did not exactly seem like a nice place for a date, it was probably one of the few places where students could be alone at night. And the strange sounds were their secret language. So Tom wasn't possessed by a demon. He was in love. Easy as that.

But where was the girl? Joelle glanced into all cabins - nobody was there. She spun around to Tom and backed away when he was right behind and walked through her, causing Joelle to yelp in shock. He seemed to look for someone. Or something. Whatever it was, he must have found it somewhere near the the hand basin; his hands reached out to the with snakes decorated water tap. Joelle stood right next to Tom when he touched it and his eyes lit up once more before he stepped away. And then there were these strange sounds once more. Joelle crossed her arms, trying to shield herself from whatever happened right now. Her eyes widened when the hand basin and mirrors moved to the side, revealing a dark hole in the ground. She gasped when Tom stepped closer; she tried to tell him not to go there, but of course it was pointless. Not only because Tom could not hear her, but because he seemed most pleased and determined to go exactly where the darkness may lead him. He pulled out his wand and whispered "Lumos", causing light to shine from the tip of his wand, showing that it was some kind of tube or pipe; impossible to simply climb down. But then he was gone. Joelle gasped when Tom simply jumped as if that couldn't mean his death - she looked to the left and right in hope to see him next to her any second, but that was not the case.

She reminded herself. This wasn't real. Joelle couldn't really be hurt. She inhaled deeply, then simply sat by the hole and slid down, screaming loudly all the way through the pipe. She landed in a cemetery of little animal skeletons and quickly jumped up to dust herself off, but nothing really stuck to her body. She glanced around and saw Tom standing right in front of her with his back, his wand resting loosely in his hands as he made these strange sounds again. Something like a big gate opened and when it did, it revealed a large, dark hall-like place with snake statues and columns in a water-surrounding. The most prominent detail was a stone statue in the back of the room; an old bearded man with empty eyes. It was gigantic. Joelle rubbed her arm in discomfort, wanting to get out of this place, wanting somebody to pick her up. She watched how Tom walked around and inspected the stony, wet place, his wand still shining, the water reflecting its light. And then Tom suddenly turned around.

"I know you will be seeing this one day, Joelle," said Tom. Joelle gasped, wanting to call out to him again but Tom merely went on. He did not look at her; she was not exactly there after all.

"Certainly you must be wondering about what you have witnessed until now. I found the book in a very interesting store that I seek to work for after school. The book read that Salazar Slytherin left the school behind with a chamber that can only be opened by his true heir. Would you like to guess where you are? Well, we will see how far I can go now," Tom looked around again, his normal speech replaced by the strange hissing sounds from earlier. Joelle just stood there with a shocked expression when suddenly, the eyes of the statue in the back of the room lit up with the familiar red gleam that she so often saw in Tom's eyes these days - the statue's mouth opened slowly. Joelle gasped, but just before she could see what came out of its mouth, she found herself ripped back into reality. She screamed when Tom grasped her shoulders tightly.

"Enough to satisfy your curiosity, my dear?" Tom asked dryly. It took Joelle a few seconds to realize that she was in the hotel room again. She glanced over to the diary's open but empty page, then back at Tom.

"What did you find there? What happened after the statue opened its mouth?" Joelle asked, still panting. Tom shook his head.

"I found what my ancestor has left me to find."

"But how did you even know it was there? The chamber?"

"Do you remember when we sat in the library and I have been very unfocused because I seemed to hear something?" Tom asked. "Or when I so often abruptly stopped in front of the girl's lavatory?"

Joelle closed her eyes and tried to remember, but couldn't recall at first; then after a while she nodded. Yes, it happened sometimes.

"Can you imagine what kind of voice I have been hearing?" Tom asked. "It whispered."

"Did you hear a snake? Or...perhaps Slytherin's ghost? If he could speak the same language, and l mean, ghosts exist-"

Tom interrupted her with a chuckle. He shook his head. "Now, that was cute," he said. Joelle blushed. "I'll leave the detective stuff to Bryan..." She murmured. Tom's face hardened upon the mentioning of Bryan's name, he cleared his throat.

"Why didn't you show me the whole memory?" Joelle then asked.

"Not even I was sure if it could kill you or not...I did not want to risk it. I knew what was waiting there for me."

"But nothing of it was real - I mean for me. So nothing would have happened."

"It's not that simple in that case, Joelle," said Tom, but he could clearly see the curiosity glowing in Joelle's eyes.

"But what was in there? Why won't you at least tell me?" Joelle grumbled with a disappointed tone.

"Are you pouting?" Tom asked. Joelle scoffed and looked away, but she got nervous when Tom scooted closer to her. She quickly wanted to continue talking so to not leave enough space between them for something else. The atmosphere turned from frosty cold to unbearably warm out of nowhere.

"You knew we would meet again..." Joelle whispered. "You always knew..."

"I never doubted it," Tom whispered back. Joelle felt his breath on her neck, causing her to quickly shake her head in a shudder.

"You didn't want me to come with you today because you knew I would try to find the diary," said Joelle. Tom started to smirk faintly, he looked down into her eyes and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

"Very observant," he said.

"Did you find what you were looking for today?" Joelle asked, but Tom shook his head.

"I scanned the southern region of the forest today. Nothing. You will come with me tomorrow, we will check the west. I'm positive to find it then," he said and got up, nudging his chin to a plate. "Eat something."

It was already late in the afternoon when Joelle checked the time; around ten. Tom and Joelle both sat on bed. There were some more questions in her head now that the both of them talked again; still yet, none of these questions seemed addressable. Tom was always so annoyed upon hearing a certain name - but they had a deal, after all. He had to cope with her questions.

"Marvolo," Joelle started so to grasp Tom's sincere attention. "I need to ask about Bry-"

"All taken care of," interrupted Tom, but his stern gaze seemed to bore into Joelle's, daring her to ask along. Joelle didn't. She left him alone to read again. Her eyes fell out of the window, then to Tom. Joelle wasn't necessarily bored but enormously clueless about her future, which caused her a lot of mental strength to ignore.

"Hey uhm, how was it even possible for me to see you in the diary?" Joelle asked. Tom closed the book, he stared at her for a few seconds, maybe thinking about punishing her for interrupting him once more, but he sat upright and put the book aside. Joelle did not know why, but she felt a tad better having his unshared attention.

"I preserved a part of me in the diary when I was sixteen," said Tom.

"Did you visit the chamber often?" She asked. The corners of Tom's lips twitched up in slight amusement; Joelle wasn't sure if it was because of a memory or because of her question. He nodded.

"Yes. The rest of the usual pack and I used the chamber to practice magic," said Tom.

"Dark magic," added Joelle dryly, turning her face away. Tom did not respond.

"Why weren't you caught?" Joelle asked. "I've learned that the ministry can keep track of the spells that underage witches and wizards use."

"Slytherin himself taught his students in the chamber," said Tom, and at once Joelle knew what that meant. The ministry wasn't able to track any kind of magical activity that happened in the chamber, giving them plenty of opportunities to practice their dark arts. Her eyes swept over to Tom, he had one leg pulled up which his elbow rested on, he sat there so casually, a faint grin on his lips. He reached out to the nightstand, opened the drawer and pulled out a book that he dusted off and held out to Joelle. It was one of her beloved unicorn books. She wanted to smile at first, until she understood what Tom tried to tell her with this. _Here_ , Joelle. Naive Joelle. Better read your unicorn books where the world is alright. I will take care of reality meanwhile.

Joelle narrowed her eyes - her gaze caught that of Tom and they stared at each other in a silent combat.

"Marvolo, how exactly did you know you could find me that day in the orphanage?" Joelle asked as they walked around the forest the next morning. Tom glanced at her, but his eyes wandered over to her exposed neck. He took off his green scarf and wrapped it around Joelle, not saying a word when his hands went into his pockets again and he continued walking. Joelle did not give up yet.

"I really wonder. Because nothing happened the past few years, I thought you had forgotten. I made sure to be gone whenever you were on summer break. I was in-"

"Bristol. With Bryan," said Tom. Joelle frowned but Tom merely stared ahead as he walked.

"Yes," she said, even though she knew it wasn't necessary to say anything now that Tom probably knew everything about her.

"Bryan and I-"

"Aren't dating, I know," finished Tom. Joelle frowned again.

"Quite in fact, I haven't been dating anyone since Bryan," Joelle looked ahead. She saw Tom's eyes narrowing in delight, a smirk on his lips. But it wasn't a mischievous kind of smirk. Did he know this as well?

"You knew that, right?" Joelle asked.

"But yes, I did," Tom purred. Joelle did not question how, Tom always kept his methods to himself - Joelle merely received he results. Strangely enough, Tom did continue to speak.

"Have you never wondered why no date lasted for long?" Tom asked, stretching his neck. Joelle's eyes widened.

"Or why it just did not work out with Bryan again? Never wondered why the bus was late, an accident got in the way, never wondered about the plenty of times that kept you from even receiving a single hug from another man?"

Joelle's lips parted, anger grew in her chest. "You...you cursed me?!"

"Hm. I would like to say used a jinx instead, sweet Joelle," said Tom, eyes flickering over to her to suppress any kind of plans to attack him.

"Is there something you did not control about me?!" Joelle hissed. "Something you did not know?!"

"Not everything about your life of course. As much as I tried. I tried to reach you for years, but couldn't. In my fifth year I asked headmaster Dippet's permission to be able to stay at Hogwarts so I didn't have to come to the orphanage where I would hopelessly wait and look for you for eight weeks. But I knew you came there...I felt your presence. Smelled your perfume. I knew you never left and only avoided me, because you had teamed up with Dumbledore."

"No-no, you don't understand-"

"Enough talking," said Tom, his eyes full of silent fury when he looked at her. Joelle frowned but decided to keep quiet for now. But then he stopped abruptly. Tom and Joelle stood in front a large tree that was easily as wide as six people.

"Here it is," Tom looked up to the tree. It radiated a lot of energy. Joelle had no idea how to describe it, but it felt like the tree invited her to philosophize; as if it enhanced her skills. One particular question ignited her thinking process: Why was Tom so talkative? This was very unlike him. On a second thought, it was not unlike him to plan ahead. It clicked once more. Tom told her these things because he could. Because no matter what Joelle could hear, it would not be enough to make a successful escape. Tom had her; and he had the confidence that it would remain like that. Joelle stared at him, trying to think no more about who Tom now was because she was still too focused on who he was not anymore.

"Joelle," Tom frowned when Joelle seemed to be somewhere else. He shook his head as he walked around the tree, looking for something. But it was Joelle who spotted it.

"The beauty lies in the detail," she said, pointing to the tiny Ravenclaw crest carved into the bark. Tom came closer with his eyes, narrowing them, then nodded, grinning widely as he stepped away. He tapped the tip of his wand onto the crest and the tree started to shake as though it shivered, causing Tom to stretch his arm out in front of Joelle in an instinctive urge of protection. The tree continued to shake until suddenly, there was a golden eagle on top of a branch.

It looked more like a decorative element, but nevertheless it was enough of a reason for Tom to move Joelle behind his back, his hand around her wrist. The eagle's eyes turned a sapphire blue. It looked down to Tom and Joelle.

"Wit without measure is man's greatest treasure. Two souls have arrived, but can you pass? I shall test you with a riddle."

"Oh I have enough riddle..." Murmured Joelle, causing Tom to nudge her with his elbow when the eagle spoke.

"A place we seek to flee,

but where we start.

A place that stops where it it begins.

A place of endless beauty, or imagined dread.

A place that we all will have met.

You may enter once you know. But one wrong answer will stop the show."

Tom frowned, crossing his arms, thinking for a while. He shook his head upon a lot of thoughts that came to his mind. Joelle looked up to the eagle. She opened her mouth to speak and Tom wanted to stop her, but the words have already left her lips.

"Death," she said. Tom's eyes were widened with rage, he grabbed her wrist firmly, hissing at her "we only had one go!" And the eagle spread its wings. Tom pointed to it and looked at Joelle to prove his point, he was about to yell, but the eagle did not fly. Instead, a part of the bark disappeared by raining down like feathers. A twinkling something was revealed behind the wood. Tom let go of Joelle's wrist, his eyes were shining in excitement. He reached in and grabbed it.

"A diadem?" Joelle asked. Tom seemed to be somewhere else when he stared at the piece of Ravenclaw history in his hand. His eyes flickered red, causing Joelle to step backwards. Tom looked demonic.

"Marvolo, let's-let's go back..." She whispered when Tom's eyes were fixed on her face, eyes narrowing steadily, lips curving up into a grin.

"Do you know what I'm holding here in my hand?" Tom asked. Joelle wanted to respond but Tom walked her against a tree. He stared into her eyes deeply, hot and damp breath dancing on Joelle's bottom lip, melting the coldness between them. But despite that being the case, Joelle still shuddered.

"Marvolo...Let's go..." She whispered. Tom kept staring, his eyes narrowed, but he nodded. Joelle glanced up into Tom's face in disbelief and fear. She did not know why it happened now but the urge to run activated in her core and brought her senses to life. She pushed past Tom, who, taken aback, stumbled to the side before he took off after running Joelle.

"It's pointless to run!" He called out to her. "Remember Bryan!" He added, but Joelle heard no more. She screamed for help and tried to dodge the spells that were shot at her but she was very fast. She had come to some sort of driveway by now and just when Tom was about to wave his wand at Joelle ahead of him, he saw how she ran into the arms of a man stepping out of a car. She pleaded under tears and pointed to Tom, then ripped the man ahead to the car and he got in, driving off with the loud screeching sound of the tires in Tom's ears when he casually stepped to the place where the car was. He sighed to himself and shook his head, chuckling lowly.

"Drive! Just drive!" Joelle yelped. The man kept on driving, he looked back into the mirror, but Joelle was so tense that she could not even dare to do that.

"Do you speak English?" She asked the man who was probably in his early thirties. He shook his head at her, responding in what Joelle guessed Albanian to be. They kept on driving together and all that Joelle could think of was how she just wanted to get as far away from Tom as possible. The man kept glancing at Joelle, he reached out his hand to rub her shoulder, smiling heartily. Joelle looked into his brown eyes and saw nothing but fatherly warmth in them. She could not help but to smile back. She did not know why, but she nodded at him. Maybe things would be alright.

"My name is Joelle," said Joelle slowly. The man nodded.

"Ah- my name,uh Tarik," he said and smiled once more. Joelle repeated his name, trying to pronounce it the same way he did.

"Musik?" He asked. Joelle nodded at him when the music started to play in the same language that she heard him speaking. There was some awkwardness because of the whole situation, but not for a single second did Joelle feel unsafe. Tarik had a very nice aura, and he possibly saved her life; a circumstance he may or may not be aware of.

Tarik and Joelle tried to make a simple conversation by drawing lines in the air or producing familiar sounds so they had a clearer reference. After a while, Tarik pointed to a picture of a woman and a child; Joelle smiled brightly. The three of them looked incredibly cute.

They drove for about an hour until they finally came to what looked like a village. Tarik said something to her again as he stopped the car in front of a house; Joelle looked to the left and right in confusion until she saw a sign that read "policia", and it was easy to guess what was inside. Tarik looked at her and smiled, saying something to her in Albanian and patted her shoulder to tell her to stay back or stay calm, whatever it was, he got out of the car and walked off.

Joelle observed her environment, the village was completely grey and very shabby and poor. She glanced around a little more hastily when even after five minutes, nothing happened. Nervousness grew in her. Joelle's legs wobbled up and down in some kind of coping mechanism, she rested her elbow on the side of the window, her hand shielding her eyes. She tried to calm down while she massaged the bridge of her nose. How crazy was her life? Joelle knew of people that experienced absolutely nothing for years - why did Joelle get so much of the thrill? She leaned back and cowered down a little, crossing her arms in discomfort and maybe even fear. Her eyes wandered from the very left of the scene, to the center, then to the very right - Tom.

Joelle screamed and pressed her back against the seat when the door flung open and Tom's hand instantly went to the back of Joelle's head where he grabbed her hair firmly while she screamed for help yet again, but Tom only ripped her over to the police station. He walked into the building with him and stopped in a small room that could be an office. Joelle screamed more when she saw some uniformed men on the ground, motionless, and most definitely dead.

"Marvolo, Marvolo, please! They're innocent!" Joelle pleaded but Tom shook his head and pressed the palm of his hand to her mouth.

"Shh. You don't want to miss our guest of honor, do you?" Tom chuckled and waved his wand so that the armchair in the distance turned around; Joelle stared right into the warm but scared eyes of Tarik, magically bound to the chair and silenced.

"Nwh, nwh!" Joelle screeched under Tom's the palm of Tom's hand, trying to wiggle free, but Tom kept her close to him.

"Now, I did not plan on showing you, my dear. But let me put into perspective why I needed the diadem..." Tom purred, then aimed his wand at Tarik who sat there with widened eyes that started to reflect green light - until the brown color died out and the warmth was replaced by coldness. Tears streamed down Joelle's cheeks when Tom turned her around to his face.

"He had to die," he said, wiping away her tears. Joelle shook her head. Tom pushed her down onto another chair, pulling out the diadem before he stared at Joelle for the longest while until he glanced over to the lifeless body of Tarik, then aimed his wand at the diadem and closed his eyes.

Joelle did not know what exactly she witnessed there but it looked like Tom had some sort of seizure; his head shot back and faced the ceiling, and then there was this dark nebula around him, creeping up in a forbidden dance while the diadem rustled on the surface of the desk. Tom's eyes glowed red for a moment just when the nebula sank into the diadem. Whatever ritual it was - it was done. Joelle sat there with round eyes, her lips were parted, nostrils widened. Tom walked over to her, kneeling down in front of her, resting his elbows in her lap.

"Always very troublesome to do that," he whispered. "Shhh. No. I am not angry. I know you ran because I did not provide you with enough answers. I deemed you unready to know. But now you will know everything."

"What-what did you do!" Joelle yelped.

"That, my dear, was the ritual of soul splitting. I have now sealed a part of my soul into the diadem of Ravenclaw. I have created another Horcrux."

"What! What for?!" Joelle yelped, but at this point, Tom had already picked her up and apparated back into Riddle manor with her; Joelle recognized the bedroom. He tucked her into the bed and something in him seemed even less human than before. He carried an aura that was purely evil. Tom smirked, rubbing her cheek with the back of his hand as he sat by the edge of the bed and pressed Joelle down.

"That part of me won't die," said Tom. Joelle frowned, not understanding a thing. He split his soul and put it into an object so he could stay alive?

"I don't understand, I don't understand! Then what's the soul binding for?! Why binding our souls?!" Joelle yelped. Tom chuckled, shaking his head at her. He leaned closer, eyes staring right through her very being.

"So you can stay with me," he whispered, pressing his lips against her out of nowhere. He kissed her hungrily, squeezing on her shoulders but his hand went to her hair, ripping her lips away from his mouth only to whisper against her.

"You will be immortal, Joelle."


	30. The Birds

**Chapter 30: The Birds**

 _Attraction is beyond our will or ideas sometimes_ \- Juliette Binoche

Joelle looked into Tom's eyes in disbelief, shaking her head. She couldn't voice her thoughts, couldn't voice her level of shock.

"You can't- you can't make me immortal!" Was all she was able to croak out. Tom chuckled tauntingly; a tinge of pity was audible in his tone.

"You're mistaken. I can," he said gently and kissed her lips again. Joelle had trouble pushing Tom away because he knew how to keep her down. She felt sick, she felt powerless, and as he continued to kiss her, Joelle was forced back into her memory. She was under John. Joelle's heart beat faster, she shook her head in denial and screamed against Tom's lips, pushing him off in a moment of empowering strength caused by panic. She scooted away as soon as Tom let go of her; watching her trying to catch her breath in quick pants of fear; her hand on her chest. Tom rubbed his chin in a thought.

"You need time. We will have enough of that, my dear. Don't fret," he whispered soothingly and stroked through Joelle's hair. All of this, however, made Joelle even more nervous.

"I don't want to live forever..." She said. "I want to see my mother again, I don't want-"

"There is no life after death, Joelle. Life is here on earth. You won't be seeing anyone after you die," said Tom firmly.

"That's what you believe! That's not what I believe!" Joelle yelled, but Tom grabbed her chin to make her look into his eyes.

"There. Is. No. Life. In death."

"Then why do ghosts exist? Isn't that proof that something happens after we die?" Joelle asked. Tom looked at her with sharp and thin lips, but he held nothing against her argumentation.

"That's a stupid comparison," he merely said and let go of her abruptly. Joelle glared.

"You will not betray me of my right to see my mother again!" She growled upon which Tom's head spun towards her in fury, he pushed her down onto her back, whispering against her lips. "You're still not done paying your debts," and then he withdrew from her. But he wasn't done. "Your little escape earlier made me wonder about how much you truly care about Bryan. Even though you knew that running puts him in danger, you still chose to flee. Selfish. Once more, very, very selfish. That's what you can do best, right, Joelle?"

"You dare to speak about selfishness," Joelle muttered hatefully. "You above all," she glared, suddenly screaming with rage. "YOU ABOVE ALL! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" She screamed and grabbed the unicorn book on the nightstand, throwing it Tom's way, but he ducked just in time and it crashed against the wall. Joelle broke out in hysterical tears when Tom merely laughed coldly and got up, walking towards the door. She knew at once where he would go now.

"COME BACK! LEAVE BRYAN ALONE!" Joelle yelled and stumbled after Tom, but he was already out of the room before she could reach his level. Joelle's hand grabbed the cold metal of the door handle, her heart was racing. To her surprise, the door opened with a loud screeching sound. She stepped out warily. For a brief moment she forgot where she was, but remembered it was Riddle manor. Joelle walked downstairs, seeing that everything was dark.

Realization crept into her consciousness once more. Tom left to kill Bryan now. Even though she did not agree with anything else that Tom said or did, here he was right. Bryan would die. And it was her fault. Tarik's death. The death of the other officers. The inhabitants of Wool's orphanage. It was all her fault. Tom was right, she was selfish. Bitter tears streamed down Joelle's cheeks as she slid down the wall, hugging around her legs to block out the world and let in some comfort - but none of it came. Joelle couldn't remember ever feeling this miserable. And then a thought came to her mind. Her mother was dead. Her aunt was dead. Bryan would die. But Tom. Tom did not yet perform the ritual of soul binding. If Joelle ever had a chance to truly escape him, it would be now. She got up from the cold floor, shakily walking downstairs and into the kitchen. She glanced to the left and right to check if Patch was there, but he wasn't. Trying not to think about what Tom has done to the elf, she roamed around in the plenty of drawers; and soon found what she was looking for. Joelle pulled out a silvery and sharp knife. The moonlight glistened in the wide blade until something familiar caught her attention. She looked into her own reflection. She stared into her eyes. Weak, coward and scared. Joelle saw a woman that was foreign to her. A woman that preferred to give up. A woman that she did not know. Joelle has become her own stranger. She shook her head with a scowl. _No_. This was not the end, Joelle promised herself. _This is not how it would end._ Just when Joelle was about to put down the knife, a loud noise from behind startled her.

"JOELLE!" Yelled a man, running closer. He instantly knocked the knife out of her hand, rustling and pulling on her arms, checking her whole body in panic. It was Black. He kept muttering under his breath in sheer fear while he made sure that Joelle was unharmed, and no matter how often she tried to explain herself, he did not listen.

"I-I didn't, I didn't want to-"

"Are you completely out of your mind?! He would kill me if you were- if- if something happened!" He held her head in her hands as if to yell the sense into her. Joelle inhaled deeply, whispering with a dry throat, but it was to no use. Black didn't listen. Instead, he waved his wand and some clinking sounds in the back of the kitchen were audible. Five minutes later they sat in the salon together, drinking some tea. None of them spoke a word, until Black broke the silence.

"I need to tell him what you tried, Joelle," he said. Joelle's eyes glanced up to him.

"Do whatever you think you have to do. Unlike me, you have a choice," she said almost accusingly. Black looked at her, and it reminded Joelle of a child that has just learned a lesson. Joelle did not know what exactly Black thought of right now, but he must have realized something. Whatever it was, he looked at her with a faint intrigued expression.

When Joelle woke up the next morning, she was startled when she saw Tom beside her. He was awake, staring at her dumbfounded expression that slowly contorted into a scowl. "So, how did it go? Killing Bryan?" She wanted to ask sharply, but she didn't. She turned around, her back facing Tom, who did not respond at first. But when he did, Joelle shuddered.

"I have heard about your little attempt yesterday evening," he said gently, but with that famous melody in his tone that sounded like a silent threat; lingering, luring. Joelle knew by experience that responding to him in this state only made things worse.

"Do you no want to answer me, Joelle?" Tom asked as if giving her a choice. Joelle glanced over her shoulder, then away again when suddenly, she felt pulled back roughly by her arm. Tom ripped her below himself, glaring. Joelle's lips were parted when he grabbed around her chin so tightly that it hurt. He was unpredictable.

"You won't run again," he whispered against her lips with so much acid in his voice that Joelle could almost feel the blisters forming inside her. She gulped, tried to speak, but Tom did not let go of her chin yet. He stared at her with his red gleam, but his eyebrows twitched together when he saw silvery tears escaping the corners of Joelle's eyes. She did not sniffle, did not twitch, it was as though she was a living statue - stiff and cold; just a little life leaking through. Tom kept staring at her for the longest while before he finally let go, at last realizing that the more he had her, the more she left him.

"Why are you so obsessed with me..." Joelle asked; not making it clear whether or not she wanted to receive an answer to that ever so pressing question. Tom took advantage of this little loophole and did not respond. Instead, he got up from the bed to pace around the room. If Joelle still had something to lose, she would be nervous now. But she had nothing to lose anymore. Still yet, her eyes widened when Tom aimed his wand at her with a glare. They looked at each other until the scowl on Tom's face disappeared and he lowered his arm with painful slowness.

Weeks passed. Weeks in which both Joelle and Tom have punished each other with silence. Joelle stared out of the large window front in the salon, watching the birds flying around through the sun rays happily. Her lips formed up into a bright smile, she closed her eyes, then jumped back when Tom was next to her as soon as she opened her eyes. He said nothing; he just observed every breath she took.

"Why did you teach me magic?" Joelle suddenly asked.

"Every witch and wizard has a magical signature. You needed to train yours," Tom said, but Joelle interrupted. "What's a magical signature?"

"A magical signature is like your own handwriting. It is unique," Tom said. Joelle didn't understand where he was going with this, but she decided to change the subject. She looked out of the window again.

"Is this the life you always wanted, Marvolo?" She asked. Tom stood next to her, looking out of the window as well. He did not respond for a while, until he broke the silence, but talked about something else.

"I had changed my mind when I left. He's not dead," Tom said. Joelle frowned. "Bryan? He's alive?" She asked in disbelief. Tom nodded with an unreadable expression - an expression that gave Joelle no information on his sincerity. It wasn't unlike Tom to manipulate Joelle. Maybe he just wanted her to believe Bryan was alive while in fact he was dead. But what if he spoke the truth? What if Bryan was alive? What if Tom really changed his mind - what if Joelle changed him a bit? Just a bit? Could she change him more? Joelle glanced at the birds that flew around Riddle manor despite having the choice to be somewhere else. This inspired her.

"I have changed my mind, too," Joelle declared. Tom glanced at her.

"I want to give it a chance. Give you a chance. Like I did with Hogwarts," she said, not receiving the opportunity to see Tom's perplex face once she spun her head to him again.

"What changed your mind?" Tom asked.

"It's all I have left. If I can't stop you, then maybe giving in is the way to go. Don't mistake this as weakness, Marvolo, or giving up. What I do is nothing else but fighting," she said and looked at him with her usual strictness. Tom looked back at her, and his lips stretched up into either a victorious grin - or, for once, a sincere smile. Joelle wasn't very sure. She just turned back around to watch the birds again.

Tom and Joelle sat together around the dining table, eating the food that Joelle cooked. She saw that Tom was oddly quiet even though he had no reason to be, now that she basically agreed to stop fighting him.

"Marvolo, can you tell me about that signature thing again? Do I have to be taught more magic?" Joelle asked. Tom looked into her eyes; he seemed slightly amused.

"Have to be? You make it sound like a burdensome task. Magic is a privilege, Joelle. You are a witch. And I have just recently realized how much you are..." He murmured more to himself. Joelle didn't understand what he meant by that, but she continued asking.

"You don't want me to split my soul, do you? Is that why you teach me? So I can perform that ritual?" She asked. Tom's eyes widened for the split of a second; something about that question seemed to trouble him.

"There is no way I would allow you to use any kind of dark magic," he said sternly. Joelle looked at him in confusion. Joelle would never want to; but she was unaware of the fact that Tom didn't want her to do it, either.

"Why not? You taught your friends-"

"They're not my friends."

"Well, you taught your...comrades. It doesn't seem to bother you that they can do it."

Tom shook his head. "I taught them so they can use any means necessary to take care of you whenever I'm not around," he said softly, chewing on his potatoes. Joelle thought about it a little, then remembered the curse thrown at her by Avery. She mentally cringed thinking about the feeling of pain.

"I'll take a bath," Joelle then said and got up after they were done eating. Tom nodded, watching her walking off. He leaned back, narrowing his eyes while rubbing his chin and biting his bottom lip in a thought while his eyes followed Joelle. He pushed himself off of the chair.

Joelle unlocked the door to the nice bathroom. It beheld a large dark and stony bathtub placed in the center of the sun flooded room. Milky windows let in bright orange light of the sunset - Joelle felt oddly warm even after she stripped off her clothes and enjoyed the nice atmosphere. It caused her shivers when the warm air danced on her skin; until she felt a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, and Joelle realized that the nice warm air came from Tom breathing on her neck on which he planted short and soft kisses, squeezing her a bit tighter. Joelle almost exploded with chills.

"Marvolo..." She whispered when Tom turned her around to face her, his forehead pressed against hers. "Shhh..." He purred with eyes narrowed in passion.

Joelle said no more. Instead, she closed her eyes as well and let the warmth take over - let Tom take over.


	31. The Awakening

**Chapter 31: The Awakening**

 _Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes_ \- C.G Jung

When Joelle woke up in the bed the next morning, she wasn't sure if whatever happened last evening was real or just a dream. Tom was asleep. Joelle watched him, wondering what was happening behind his forehead. He looked as peaceful as anyone else; a strange thing that sleep does. Joelle smiled gently thinking about it, but her smile vanished and froze into a startled expression when Tom's eyes shot up. Joelle wasn't very sure why it scared her, but it did.

"Good morning," she said, trying to cover the fear in her voice whilst smiling again. Tom looked at her, then sat upright. He ran a hand through his hair and kept quiet; a circumstance that made Joelle a tad nervous. And then, out of nowhere, anger rose in her chest. When has _she_ become his puppet?

Joelle looked around, reflecting her life as her eyes scanned the room as if it were new. She knew that she would never have to worry about anything from now on. Tom would assure that she was safe and secure, but she couldn't feel less protected. She felt exposed to life. Sure, to others she was with a handsome and talented wizard that allowed her to live a nice life in a beautiful manor on top of a hill somewhere in the United Kingdom. But, as with many other aspects of life, seeing and seeing were two different things. Joelle's eyes swept over to Tom again. He still sat upright in the bed and stared ahead absentmindedly; perhaps, too, wondering if yesterday evening was real or not.

"I appreciate your presence," said Tom suddenly. "I can't get used to having you by my side when I open my eyes."

Joelle looked into Tom's face, her lips were slightly parted. She rested her hand on his shoulder and knew that being quiet was the best choice of words right now.

"Aren't we messed up?" Joelle asked quietly. Tom scoffed in agreement and closed his eyes.

"You are a smart woman, Joelle. You can't tell me that you didn't expect this," he whispered and let himself fall on his back, staring up to the wall. Joelle still sat upright but her eyes were glued to Tom. She slowly sank lower, not breaking eye contact once Tom noticed her shifting; as if he had to make sure that she wouldn't leave. He couldn't let her move out of his sight and reach. Not for a single moment.

"Are you bored, Marvolo?"

Tom chuckled. Joelle always noticed that she depicted his facial features as oddly waxy or cold. He sometimes looked like his expressions were painted on; they mostly appeared to be artificial, mechanical. This time, his chuckle was a sincere sound of amusement, however, carried something else. It could have been pity. Tom's grin did not even leave his lips when he answered. "No. I am not bored."

"You will be," said Joelle. "You will look for yet another way to escape that boredom once you have what you want - you will want to break through, to...hurt somebody..." Joelle's voice got tiny at the end of the line and she looked away. "You haven't told me. Is this the life you've always wanted? Is this the life you have imagined?"

"Imagining is for fools, my dear. I _see_."

"What do you see?"

"I see you."

This single line beheld so much depth in meaning that Joelle wanted it to have never been said. It wasn't merely stating where she currently was; right in front of Tom. This was stating where she belonged, where he saw her from the start - maybe even when he first laid eyes on her. Did she mind? She was not entirely sure.

What made Joelle move closer to Tom lately? She herself did not know. She could only guess that she felt like she had to repay her debt completely. If she wanted to hate Tom for everything he has done, she had to first hate herself for making him do it. It took Joelle a long time to realize that the world could not be split into right or wrong - and people saying either yes or no. It was far more complex than that. Joelle was far more involved in the wrongs, in the _noes_ , than she was aware of. She was far more guilty than she wanted to be.

Indeed, Tom was right. She wasn't done paying her debts yet.

"What would you have done after studying psychology?" Tom asked later during lunch.

"I'm not sure," said Joelle. "But I didn't want to become a doctor, if that's where you were aiming at."

Tom stared at her when she said that, then nodded. "Of course not. I'm quite sorry you couldn't graduate."

"You're not sorry."

"Of course not."

Tom and Joelle looked at each other with something between them that none of them addressed.

"So, what is going to happen now?" Joelle asked. "Any plans for our eternal life?"

Tom glanced at her, his eyes narrowed for the split of a second; he noticed the sharpness on an instant.

"It's not yet eternal, my dear. Yours isn't. And mine, well..." Tom stretched. "Something didn't quite work the last time."

"What do you mean?"

"You will see. I must say that...I'm quite pleased with you lately. You're behaving. I want to reward you. Don't think this is anything that will happen often, but I realized that I have ripped you out of your life too abruptly. You need something back."

"Since you mentioned it, does that mean you want me to finish studying psychology?"

"No. You don't need that in the wizarding world. I thought of something else. I will allow you to see Bryan."

Joelle's eyes widened. "Are you serious? Would you really?"

"Yes. Not for long, however. And I will accompany you."

Joelle looked at Tom; the smile disappeared a slight bit. Of course he had to come with her - he needed to make sure Bryan wouldn't try anything and, probably most importantly, he had to make sure that Bryan wouldn't attempt to scratch Joelle from the list of main defendants. Tom had to control her.

"Where is Bryan right now?" Joelle asked.

"He moved back to London a few weeks ago."

"How did you even find him?" Joelle raised an eyebrow, unable to help admiring Tom's skills for once. Tom merely chuckled throatily. "That, my dear, shall be my secret."

"You have too many secrets. Not fond of sharing any with me, are you?"

"Stop pouting," said Tom with his signature grin. "I share everything with you."

"Share another answer with me," said Joelle.

"Ask another question."

"Imagine the both of us are immortal. You are obviously talented and you can just glare people away," Joelle started but Tom chuckled when she said this, "but what are you going to do when there's a murderous freak running about, cutting me apart? Would I even live?"

Tom's chuckle died out on an instant. He looked into her eyes deeply, his lips slightly apart. Either he couldn't answer her question and was so concentrated on trying, or he couldn't grasp her level of bravery for addressing such a perspective as dying.

"What strange things to think of," said Tom almost scoldingly.

"I'm serious. You couldn't sow me back and-"

"Enough, Joelle."

Joelle sighed and crossed her arms, but she couldn't help grinning. "Here he goes, always forbidding me to speak when the truth is involved."

Tom glanced up at her curiously, trying his best to suppress any reaction. He remembered this line coming from his own lips years ago.

"You're cheeky," he murmured and sipped on his tea.

"When can we leave? To see Bryan?"

Tom's eyes shot up to Joelle on an instant, it looked like he wanted to glare but he decided against it at last. He cleared his throat. "If you wish, we can leave right away."

Joelle's eyes lit up with joy. "Yes!" And she jumped up to run off and grab her coat. Tom still sat there, swirling the tea in his cup, a faint smirk starting to show on his lips, but it disappeared as soon as Joelle came back, ready to leave.

"We can go!" She squeaked when Tom just observed her curiously.

"I see that," he murmured and pushed himself off of the chair ever so casually. He walked over to her and pulled up the hood of her coat, staring into her eyes while he did. Joelle shuddered at the feeling of his touch on the back of her head and neck, but she kept quiet.

"We don't want anybody to recognize you, do we?" He whispered and came closer with his face. He breathed against her lips. Joelle gulped, then shook her head. She did not know what she wanted and what she didn't want anymore, but she knew she wanted the closeness between them to disappear for now. Tom merely chuckled voicelessly; it was a short sound coming from the back of his throat. He pulled away and turned around, having his hand wrapped around her wrist firmly and disapparated on the go. The both of them landed in a sunny but secluded and more quiet area of London. The joyful glimmer in Joelle's eyes instantly vanished. Her life was so different when she was here last. They marched off to the sounds of chirping birds and walked through a sunlit field with cherry blossoms starting to bloom around them. The scent of springtime was so pleasant that Joelle closed her eyes and accidentally ran into Tom; who just stopped and looked at her as though she was a specific curious piece in a museum of modern art. Joelle tried to ignore it while they passed by a cemetery surrounded by a black fence. She eyed up the tombstones that were covered with plenty of fresh flowers - ever reminders of war not so long ago. She looked up to Tom and saw that he did not even glance towards the cemetery's direction. It was a place he would never visit; at least in his conception of life. Joelle squinted shut her eyes when the sun shone into her face brightly and dissolved her surrounding into whiteness, but she smiled once the pictures regathered in front of her and showed a small cottage. Joelle found it a tad strange that there were no neighbors at all, the cottage being somewhat deserted in this field, but she did not comment.

"Is this where Bryan lives?" She asked hopefully. Tom nodded, but he pulled Joelle back when she tried to walk ahead.

"Stay close to me. And I'm warning you. Don't say anything you know I wouldn't approve of..." he whispered with a warning tone. Joelle nodded and glanced over to the cottage, then back at Tom. It was too obvious that she wanted to see Bryan that Tom couldn't label it as true attention to what he said. Still yet, they walked to the entrance together and Joelle rang the doorbell, her mouth gapped open excitedly, Tom could almost hear her heartbeat. He bit his bottom lip in order to suppress a smirk. If only his naive Joelle knew why they had come here, she wouldn't be so extremely joyous.

The door opened.

In front of both Tom and Joelle stood a tall and muscular man that looked as though he jumped out of a fashion magazine. Bryan Lessing's chestnut brown hair glistened almost red as the sun shone down on it; and his golden tan allowed both Joelle and Tom the conclusion that he enjoyed a few baths in the sun lately. Joelle, however, looked into Bryan's brown and warm eyes. Time froze for the while she stared at him.

"Bryan..."

"Joelle...?" He asked in utmost disbelief, his hands instantly went around her face to cup it, upon which Tom retorted with a low scoff, especially when hot tears started to stream down Joelle's cheeks.

"None of the rumors are true, I promise, I never killed anyone-"

"Shhh. I know. I know."

"Manners, Lessing. A true gentleman would have asked his lady of interest in," said Tom colorlessly. Joelle knew this was nothing but an attempt to cope with jealousy on Tom's end - he had to put down Bryan in order to feel above him now that he saw how much Bryan still meant to her.

"Tom," said Bryan firmly and straightened his back. The two men stared into each other's eyes and spoke so much that words could never explain. Bryan stepped aside and smiled warmly at Joelle when she walked inside, but tried to ignore the fact that Tom merely shoved past him as if he was a particularly disgusting bug.

"You have to explain everything to me. Green tea, no sugar, as always?" Bryan asked. Joelle smiled brightly, nodding. She sat down on a couch with Tom.

"You remember...Yes. Exactly," she said, and her eyes swept over to Tom's unamused and cold gaze.

"Almost like an old married couple, hm?" He whispered harshly when Bryan disappeared through the arched door into the kitchen, but peeped his head back out.

"What about you, Riddle?"

"Nothing," said Tom, then glanced at Joelle again. "Watch your words."

"So, Joelle," started Bryan as he walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch as well. "Tell me everything, I must know. I must know it all," he looked at her intensively. Joelle couldn't help but glance at Tom for some help. He, however, did not look back and instead acted like he was busy observing Bryan's collection of magazines. Tom wanted her to make her own decision, even though he clearly used this as a method to measure how far she had understood where she belonged. He left her a choice whether or not Bryan would get hurt. And this choice was the most burdensome thing Joelle has felt lately.

"How have you even become the main defendant? How?" Bryan inquired.

"It's complicated," said Joelle truthfully. "It was just bad timing. And you know how it is - people need a face for a crime. And sometimes they don't care what kind of face. They want to breathe, they want a chapter to be done. People don't cherish open ends."

"You could have come to me - you could have talked to me. We could have sorted things out together," said Bryan.

"What about you, though? Why are you living here in this secluded area?" Joelle asked.

"They considered me guilty, said I assisted you. Then they were convinced that I'm not guilty. That was after all those stupid newspaper reports. And to avoid public trouble, they put me here for a while. Said I can come back soon. Until then I can live here." Bryan sighed. "It's not a lot but it's better than being attacked. Don't worry. I won't tell a soul that you have been here."

Joelle cleared her throat, then nodded. "Right. Well, I went undercover. The evidence was too pressing and Mrs. Kenneth told lies..."

"They also had files from the therapist. I knew it didn't look good for you. That's why I protected you. Said that you've been my girlfriend and that I know you would never kill anyone. And when I said that, well, I went straight into their web. And then that strange anonymous witness, saying he saw me on that day. I was almost behind bars, I'm telling you. Said witness then took it back. Some strange hospital, St Mongo or something, sent a letter to the department, saying that the evidence told by the anonymous witness was a false trail because he was mental. That saved my life, I believe."

Joelle gulped. She looked over to Tom, wondering if he asked Avery to do that dirty work since the latter was at the hospital during that time.

"But how did you and Tom...meet again? I don't understand. Didn't you say that it was best if you never-"

"Tom found me not so long ago and we talked about everything that has gone wrong in the past. I mean...The...both of us were quite young. You know. Teenage troubles, I guess. We've grown up," said Joelle. Tom looked at her - and she knew exactly that he inwardly commented everything she said.

"You've changed, Riddle," said Bryan with a sip of his tea.

"I have merely grown up. Some of us do that."

"Hm," Bryan hummed and looked at both Joelle and Tom. "You two look good together," he said quietly. Joelle frowned, she was about to say something, but Tom was faster.

"That's right. Anyway, where is the restroom?"

Bryan pointed behind his shoulder with his thumb. "Out of this room, on the right."

Tom got up and walked off. Joelle wondered about this, she didn't expect Tom to leave her alone with Bryan - and she instantly suspected that he was up to something. She couldn't further think about this, however, when Bryan chuckled lowly. It was a chuckle of disbelief. It was a chuckle of giving irony some credit.

"Heh. Do you remember, Joelle? Those years back, we were in the kitchen. And I told you that Tom had a crush on you. You scolded me for saying that."

"Bryan..."

"You said that he was just a child. Said that he would grow out of it."

"Bryan, please..."

"But I said that if anything, he will grow **with** it. Do you remember? Do you believe me now?"

Joelle inhaled deeply. She nodded. "Yes. I remember. Things aren't that easy, Bryan..."

"You have to get out of his grasp before it is too late," said Bryan. "I can help you. You can't hide forever, things will clear out. Trust me. Trust me before it's too late."

"Before it is too late?" Joelle snickered and then kept quiet.

Tom leaned against the wall when he listened to their conversation. But he hasn't sneaked out just to hear what Joelle would say now that she wasn't monitored. No. Tom's hand clutched around his wand, a faint smirk started to play on his lips. He peeped his head around the wall carefully so that he was barely seen. It had to work now. If the ritual didn't work the last time, it had to work now. He closed his eyes. Then whispered "Avada Kedavra" with his wand aimed at Bryan. All the hatred and jealousy Tom has felt for so long was sent through his wand. He always wanted Bryan to die like this.

But no green light came from Tom's wand. He frowned and pulled his arm away, glancing at the wood in his hand. He gritted his teeth in frustration, narrowed his eyes and tried it again; this time non-verbally. It just didn't work. Bryan Lessing remained alive and vivid in his conversation with Joelle. And Tom faced the greatest mystery. Why on earth could he not even perform the killing curse now? Was his power decreasing? Was his soul, perhaps, too tainted by affection? And then his eyes swept over to Joelle, hatred knocked on his chest with the increasing pace of his heartbeat. Tom raised his wand again.

But this time, he focused on Joelle.


	32. For Better or Worse

**Chapter 32: For Better or Worse**

"Well, there you go. Even a psychopath recognized your worth enough to want to kill someone else first" - Richelle Meads in: Bloodlines

Tom kept staring at Joelle with his wand aimed at her, but after a few more seconds, he changed his mind. He stared ahead absentmindedly, as if making himself see that he was about to do a great mistake. Tom cleared his throat and put his wand back, walking into the living room again.

"Joelle, my dear. We are leaving."

"Already? But it has not even been an hour," said Joelle, but seeing Tom's stern and focused gaze was enough for her to understand. She nodded and got up.

"It was so good to see you again, Bryan," Joelle smiled and offered him a hug that he returned all too gratefully. He rubbed up and down her back and his lips went to her ear. He wanted to whisper something so desperately, but, after so many years of getting used to not speaking the things out loud that he still felt for Joelle, he withdrew and merely smiled until they were out of the door.

"Why did we have to go so early?" Joelle asked when Tom shoved her ahead, then disapparated back to Riddle manor - and things suddenly exploded around Joelle. Tom threw curses at random objects, he was raging and out of his mind; she couldn't understand where this came from so suddenly. Just when she was about to turn around and run off, Tom grabbed her arm and ripped her back, pushing her against the wall so hard that it knocked the breath out of her lungs for a moment.

"YOU!" He growled, "you're the reason!"

"What did I do?!" Joelle tried to croak but Tom merely pressed her against the wall even harder. He came closer with his lips. Whatever he realized electrified his sanity.

"The Horcrux ritual didn't work. I couldn't split my soul when I killed Tarik! I thought it had worked - but it didn't. I thought, perhaps, that it was due to the fact that I had no energy left, for I have used up most of it to find you!" He growled. "But it also didn't work today...!"

"I don't understand a word!" Joelle yelled back and was shoved against the wall yet again; the back of her head bumped against the hard surface, resulting in a hiss of pain.

"When I killed Tarik that day, I used his death to create a Horcrux. But I realized that it did not work. I wondered why it hadn't worked, I had no answer on hand! So that's why...I wanted to find out today..."

"That's why! That's why you wanted to visit Bryan?! You wanted to kill him?!" Joelle yelped but Tom's eyes narrowed even more. Oh how much he hated that she cared about another man.

"Yes. I tried. And then...The killing curse didn't work. Because of you and your...purity! Your innocence! It blocks away my magic! MY POWER!" Tom ripped Joelle off of the wall and pushed her onto the couch where she just clung to the fabric, shoving herself away from Tom, who stood in the distance with that famous red gleam in his eyes whenever he was too full of wrath. Silence greeted them again, but had to move for something else. Something entirely different.

"If you dare to touch me once more, Marvolo...I promise I will make you regret it," said Joelle out of nowhere. She stood up from the couch, eyes burning with malice. She walked up in front of Tom, unamused and ready to attack with nothing on her hands but her own dignity.

"Just like I said back then when we were younger. Remember. I am making the rules here as well," she said firmly upon which Tom scoffed.

"You're in no position to make such claims," he muttered back in a harsh tone, drawing his face closer to hers. Their lips were only inches apart. "Seeing Bryan must have given you some false confidence."

"I know I cannot fight you. It's foolish to assume that I can. I lack darkness for that. But." Joelle raised her chin right now. "I want you to know that binding myself to you can go both directions. I am not your puppet, Marvolo. I am not yours to command. Nor yours to push against walls and throw onto furniture!" She suddenly yelled. "I am not your property!"

Tom laughed. And that's all he did. He stood in front of Joelle and laughed his ice cold and mocking laughter before he brushed her cheek with his knuckles, then simply walked past her like walking past a child that said something so silly that an adult did not even want to bother to explain.

Hours later, Joelle still sat in the salon and watched the flames of the fire dancing ever so gracefully. It wasn't until the flames were gone out of nowhere that she noticed the presence behind her. Joelle turned around, seeing Tom in the doorway.

"It's late. You have to sleep."

"I'll sleep here tonight," said Joelle and fluffed up the pillows on the couch. Tom merely glanced at her with a thin and sharp mouth, but he did not comment. He was gone when Joelle next took a glimpse to where he used to stand. She turned around and tried her best to fall asleep, unaware that she wouldn't manage that for at least three hours.

As expected, Tom was not to be found the next morning. He always left when something was too uncomfortable for him to be confronted with. Joelle was not very sure if Tom tried to punish her with this, maybe making her believe that he left to kill Bryan. But if Tom truly did that, then what was left to blackmail Joelle with? She should have thought of this much sooner - too often they have played chess together; she knew Tom acted upon strategy and plans. Tom had the ability to think things through, as he very well mentioned years ago, "from A to Z and back." Then again, and that was a flaw to this rule, Tom was also an exceptionally jealous companion, often acting upon emotional impulses. Quite in fact, Joelle has never even read about a person more controlling and possessive than him, although Tom tried his best to cover it up. He might be above admitting these things, but below their concealment. And Joelle was a good judge.

"Good morning, Joelle," said a voice from behind. Joelle spun her head around and looked at Lestrange, whose curly dark locks fell nicely into his face. He walked over into the salon and pulled the curtains away so that the sun shone into the whole room. Joelle responded with the same type of avoidance she responded with for the next five mornings. She did not say a word. And she worried. What was Tom up to? Where had he gone? Did he do something stupid? Something so stupid that Joelle now had to worry about his wellbeing? Delivering a mental slap to herself, Joelle shook her head. She shouldn't be caring. But there she went. She did, didn't she? Was Tom alright? Joelle growled out of anger and frustration, she smacked the palm of her hand onto the cold floor she sat on. She had no single idea where to go with these emotions; but she knew she didn't actually want to go through them. She didn't want to care. She wasn't one of those idiotic novel protagonists, wasn't one of those hopeless girls falling for the bad guys out of nowhere. But if she were falling, was it out of nowhere? Joelle felt haunted by her own thoughts; but more so she felt haunted by the past she had with Tom Marvolo Riddle. And the effects that this past had on her.

Lestrange's weak attempts to make Joelle eat during the next days were nothing compared to those attempts of Black. Even Nott and Rosier were sometimes around the young woman, trying to trick her into a conversation, trying to get her to be actually here. Joelle had a cloudy expression to herself lately, she always seemed to be deeply in thoughts, but never voiced her mental disaster. Don't think, she told herself. Don't touch the thoughts, wrap them up, put them into a drawer and far, far away. Don't think.

Don't think.

And then a thought entered Joelle's consciousness. Did Tom leave the diary here? With her? She instantly jumped up from the couch and ran upstairs, much to Lestrange's surprise, but he did not follow. Joelle vanished behind the large bedroom. She paused for just a moment in which she wondered where Tom could have put it, and her eyes wandered over to the closet. Just for good measure, Joelle made sure that the door was closed before she opened the closet in which she saw some of Tom's elegant clothes. Now that she checked, she noticed how neatly they were organized and sorted according to color and size; without a single tiny wrinkle anywhere. Joelle had the instinctive urge to just randomly grasp into them or throw them out; breaking that mask of perfection that Tom was wearing all the time. But she didn't. She was looking for something, after all. Then again, he would surely notice that she moved his clothes by an inch. What should she do? Just when she was about to give up and close the closet's door, something shiny caught her attention.

On the topmost shelf, a copper-colored metal corner was sticking out. But Joelle was too short to reach it. Did Tom want her to see it? If yes, why didn't he make it more obvious? If not, why didn't he hide the diary somewhere else? Joelle frowned. There was no stool here to climb onto. This is real life, she thought. The unlucky protagonists in the novels would just grab a stool that was always a part of the room's furniture. But Joelle? Joelle had to go and find one - all the while knowing Tom could stand in that very doorframe any second. She wandered around, trying to think where she could find something to climb onto without having to walk downstairs where Lestrange or any other puppet would ask inconvenient questions. Joelle glanced into some of the guest rooms, almost feeling annoyed by her own mission again. But then. There. A vanity. Under the vanity was a tiny stool.

Perfect.

After Joelle carried it back into the bedroom, she decided to lock the door just for good measure. If Tom came here now, he would first try to open it like a normal person; giving her enough time to climb back down. Or wouldn't he? Just when Joelle stood on the stool, her mental slap reached her tenfold. So what if she got the diary now? What should she do with it? Writing 'Hello Marvolo, how are you?' ?

Nevertheless, Joelle grabbed the flat, black leathery book and climbed back down. Ink and quill weren't very far away. She sat on the bed and started to write down.

"Hello."

The ink sank back into the page. But no response came even after waiting for more than five minutes. Joelle tried again.

"Hello?"

Nothing.

Joelle shook her head and thought about something else. What would Tom always respond to? What has he always responded to in the past? And then an idea came to her mind.

"Marvolo. It's me."

This gave Joelle the certainty of receiving an answer. But she was wrong. No answer came.

No answer came to her for the next three days. This time, his absence felt stranger than all the others. This one felt never-ending.

No Tom came to her for the next seven days.

Not after three weeks.

Not after four.

Or even five.

Tom was gone.

AN: sorry for the short break, I was super busy! And thank you for the reviews, guys! I appreciate your words! Just a quick explanation:

I've been asked why there's no true description on Joelle's physical appearance. That was a choice. ? I felt uncomfortable giving Joelle a prescribed look; I think that this story required a person that bonds with Tom without any kind of information on what she looks like; because it's not her looks that cause Tom and Joelle to bond. I know that is a very risky decision to make - as she's one of the protagonists, and thus a very important part of the story that requires the most information. (After all, details make and break a story, right?) But I felt like Joelle could be anyone. She's your everyday girl. Anyone could be in Joelle's shoes. Even you. I hope I don't leave you guys too frustrated with this! Of course I, personally, have a picture in mind when I'm talking about her. I'm more curious about what she looks like in your heads, though. Let me know if you want!


	33. Another Visit

**AN: sorry for the delay! I'm really super busy at the moment (: but I'm not forgetting about the story. I always write bits and pieces whenever I get the chance. I won't leave you guys hanging! The story means way too much to me! The next update won't take so long, I promise!**

 **Chapter 33: Another Visit**

 _The soul which has no fixed purpose in life is lost; to be everywhere, is to be nowhere -_ Michael de Montaigne

It was a very warm day when Joelle heard the familiar sound of birds out in the yard. Their songs always woke her up. Her first reaction was to check if next to her, Tom would be there, but he wasn't. He hadn't come back for exactly 37 days now. A growl of frustration escaped her lips. What was the idiot doing? What was she doing, caring too much? Then again, she could justify her doubts with fearing that he may or may not have attacked somebody dear to her while he was gone. And did Joelle want that? Of course not. Quite in fact, she felt like it was her fault. She shouldn't have provoked him that much. But has she even provoked him? Was she unable to see her wrongdoings herself? Or was she unable to see his wrongdoings by now?

"Joelle. Wake up."

A rough voice. Joelle frowned; she was not entirely sure who it was. It wasn't Black nor Lestrange. It couldn't be Rosier or Nott. Could it be?

"Didn't you hear me?" Asked the voice. The door opened and in strode none other than sharp chinned Avery with his ever so piercing steely eyes. He had gained a decent amount of muscles since Joelle has last seen him.

"As you can see, I'm already awake," said Joelle distantly. She turned her face away and looked out of the window. She hated these situations. Every time Tom wasn't around, some of his puppets took care of her. And nothing, absolutely nothing happened while they pampered and tucked her in her bed at nights. The only change now was that Avery was back - after those months of Joelle believing he was actually killed by Tom.

"I am not like Black or Lestrange. When I say you will eat the food - you will. Have I made myself clear, girl?" Avery asked. Joelle narrowed her eyes and glanced at his pale face again that had a slight bit more color than Tom's. His slicked back, blond hair and the arrogant tone in his voice made him seem stricter than before. Joelle merely shrugged and looked away again, but Avery grasped her wrist and yanked her along, walking downstairs with her.

"I am also not going to bring you the food. While I am in charge, you will learn discipline. As you should. You are a woman."

John. Joelle narrowed her eyes. She saw John in Avery - everything about him was her stepbrother.

"A very traditional man, aren't you?" Joelle asked with acid in her voice. Avery glanced at her, his eyes narrowing a little when she said "steadiness cannot lead to development. You have to shake a little."

"Tsk. Silliness. I'm not very fond of the recent emancipation movements. Nature hasn't made women weaker for no reason."

"Weaker," Joelle chuckled. Was she weak?Was Avery saying he could dream up a person holding more power over Tom than herself? She did not ask. She did not bother. Joelle was above those discussions. Still yet, she couldn't shake off feeling mistreated. Quite obviously she wasn't only a mudblood in Avery's eyes - she was a _female_ mudblood. Welcome to wizarding 1946. Welcome to a time where women had to be reminded of her archaic position again. Joelle growled. She had not grown up like that.

"Sit down," said Avery firmly. But Joelle kept standing. Instead of sitting down, she narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

"You women. You're like children. You need a firm hand in order to work, don't you?" Avery suddenly forced her to sit down with his wand. "I am not playing."

Joelle glared up to him. A part of her wanted to threaten him with telling Tom about how Avery treated her - but she knew she would never resolve to such pathetic measures.

"I'm quite surprised to see that you're still on your feet," said Avery then. He didn't have to add the "because somebody like Tom would usually dispose of mudbloods like you" - it was clear enough.

"Not nearly half as surprised as I am to see that you're still alive," said Joelle collectedly, inwardly smiling at the glare thrown her way. Apparently the memory of Tom almost fatally hurting Avery was enough to shut him up for the next two hours.

"I swear to Merlin. If you don't eat the food now, I will force it down your throat, girl. Don't test my patience," Avery muttered hatefully when he saw that Joelle had not touched anything of her last meals. It was not even her fault; she didn't refuse eating because she wanted to infuriate somebody. She just couldn't keep anything in.

"I don't want to eat," she said softly. "I can't. I'm not begging for your understanding. Just respect my decision. I ate an apple."

"An apple is, by no standard, enough," Avery grumbled and scattered down to Joelle's level. She was sitting on the ground with a book.

"I'm giving you to the count of three. One..."

"Two," said Joelle bored, flipping to the next page. Avery ripped the book away from her, throwing it against the wall.

"That was Marvolo's diary by the way," she snickered, seeing how Avery's pale face turned a ghostly white color. He instantly ran over to it and picked it up, checking for any sort of scratches. He was about to hand it back before something caught his attention.

"Why would you have his diary?! Are you spying?!"

"Go check the pages," said Joelle with another vibrating tone of boredom. "They're empty."

Avery did check the pages, then sighed and shook his head. "Silly girl. It could be a spell to hide it."

"There's none."

"How would you know? You're not capable of the magic he can do. You couldn't dream it up. Anyway. I'll put this away, we don't need you sneaking around."

"Sure. Do whatever you want, Avery."

"Stop that arrogant tone."

"Is there something I can do or say that will not infuriate you?"

Avery considered Joelle for a moment before he inhaled deeply and stared at her. He narrowed his eyes while he did.

"You don't know what he sees in me, right? Neither do I. You could do us both a favor. Either let me go. Or go yourself. I don't have a wand - and as you very well realized, I don't have much magical power. I couldn't escape if I wanted to, otherwise it would have happened by now. So instead of further making my imprisonment more insufferable, I suggest you just leave."

Avery still stared at her, he still considered her. Then narrowed his eyes. His eyes followed her curves before he turned his attention away. But something in him drew it back to Joelle. The latter did not even realize what was going on, her gaze was brought to the opposite direction of the room, she seemed to be deeply in thoughts about something. But Avery got up.

"I will lock this door when I leave," he suddenly murmured.

Joelle nodded. "Feel free to do that."

"It can only be opened from outside," he added.

Joelle nodded again.

"Somebody else, probably Nott will be here in the morning. It's late already and...you can't get out. I don't have to stay. That's good..."

"Now get lost," said Joelle suddenly, receiving a glare from Avery. He bit his bottom lip, his fingers twitched towards his pocket, but he did not dare. He simply turned around, Joelle heard the door locking and heavy footsteps from outside echoing as Avery left. She really loathed him.

And he loathed her back.

The night was exceptionally cold. Even though the temperatures increased drastically within the past few weeks, the nights were still unpleasant sometimes. It was especially cold in this large manor. She was downstairs in the drawing room as always. It was the only place with a huge fireplace. Most importantly it had the large window front that Joelle loved to see. It was tall and wide - and it led into the endless garden where she could watch the birds and butterflies to at least bring closer some life to her. Joelle did not mind sleeping on the couch and she did not mind being locked in here until the morning. She had all the food she needed, and a bathroom was connected to the drawing room as well. There were plenty books. And no soul.

It was a scary place when Joelle thought about it. She never tried to think about it all too much. But did she have a choice now? She was alone in a huge dark manor, alone in a huge dark manor with shaking trees she could watch from her beloved window front.

She did mind that she was locked in the drawing room.

She did mind that she was alone. Joelle shook her head at a thought. Before she would drive herself mad, she decided to cuddle down on the couch and try to sleep. And slowly, she dozed off.

Rustling. Joelle grumbled and turned over. The wind blowing outside was unpleasantly loud. It howled and some twigs kept on thrashing against the windows. Banging. Joelle wondered what it was, but she was too tired to think it could could be something to be scared of.

Talking.

Joelle blinked her eyes open, she sat up and looked around but gasped when shrill light blinded her. She held her elbow to her eyes.

"Whoah! Look at this! Jake! Look at this! It's a lady! And what a beauty. Ey! Ey, girl!" Shouted a man. He came closer to Joelle, still shining his flashlight to her face.

"Who are you!" She yelped and pulled the blanket up to cover her chest, but another man walked in. The both of them were rather tall and, by the looks of it around Tom's age. Oh no. They were one of those ever so curious people about Riddle manor. Was the house only protected as long as somebody with a wand was here? Joelle couldn't help but wonder.

"You shouldn't be here, girl! Being here is illegal!" Said another man. Joelle raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really?" She asked dryly. But she realized something. This was her chance.

"Guys..." She then said, trying to be fully awake now. But how could she ask them to help her out of this? The both of them stared at her as if she was some piece of strange art that they had to describe and interpret - they clearly didn't expect somebody around. Joelle could faintly make out their looks. One of them had dark brown hair and a pointed chin and pointed nose and maybe blue or green eyes; the other one had black hair and was more tan than the other; his eyes were dark as well. They kept on asking her questions - of course they didn't keep quiet. But Joelle blocked them out as she thought about how to address them. How could she tell them that she was held captive? If they could get in so easily, surely they would wonder if she couldn't get out as easily.

Did she not promise to herself that she would give Tom a chance? Did she not want to repay her debt? But how could she - now that her chance to escape was as close as this? Who would blame her?

"Guys, guys, please be quiet, let me talk, listen...I need your help!"

And the two of them were quiet.

"What is it, doll?" Asked the black haired.

"I must get out of here," Joelle said softly. "How could you get in?"

One of them held up a large metal stick that Joelle had no idea of what it was. It didn't matter.

"Is the door open?! The entrance? Can we get out?" She asked excitedly and jumped up, but she did not see the exchange of gazes below her. The two guys suddenly pulled her back down.

"Now, now, where do you think you're going?" Asked the brown haired.

"I need to get out! We need to get out, I have to-"

"Shhh! Why aren't we going to enjoy our stay here, hm? Make it an unforgettable night."

"Cheaa, good idea, Dave," said the one that Joelle now remembered must be called Jake. She shook her head when the both of them pressed her against the couch.

"What are you doing?!" She screeched. Were they out of their mind?! She had to tell them something - there was no time for silly things like this!

"You shouldn't be here, girl. We have been here before - it was abandoned. We know you're staying here illegally. But don't fret, we won't tell a soul, if you agree to pay a little price for it" whispered Dave with his black hair falling to his face. Joelle narrowed her eyes and tried to push away.

"You must be kidding! Please, I need to get out! Listen to me-"

But they were just laughing and talking wildly about how much she would like it and that it would be something crazy to do - and that she should enjoy herself and that they wouldn't hurt her. Dave began to slowly pull on Joelle's dress from behind while Jake held her down - and that was when Joelle began to struggle for dear life. She screamed and kicked and shouted but it was to no use - the guys were hellbent on exploring this adventure.

"You will enjoy it! Don't be like that! Just relax!" Chuckled Jake. "Dave, hold the stupid bitch down."

"NO! NO!" Joelle yelled when two hands started to spread her legs. And just before she could feel their cold fingers invading more of her privacy, a loud growl from the back of the room interrupted the actions. A flash of green light hit Dave and he collapsed to the floor with glassy eyes; Joelle could not see where it came from nor who it was; she had her eyes squinted shut and ears covered. It all happened in slow motion to her. Jake gasped and realized and let go of Joelle, looking down to his lifeless friend; Joelle saw him shaking his shoulder.

"Dave?! Da-" but his voice was cut off. Joelle squinted shut her eyes yet again and she turned her face away, only seeing a fair amount of blood flying from the shadows that danced on the opposite wall. Another man sunk down to the floor and within the next moment, she felt herself ripped off of the couch roughly. Joelle covered her face by holding up her arms protectively.

"Look at me."

There they were again. Tom's eyes, after so many weeks. He looked crazed, more crazed than before, his irises red and trembling with both rage and something Joelle could not determine. He pulled her up, grasping her face in his hands - and for once Joelle could see what kind of shade it was that she saw in his eyes; it was nothing but fear and panic. Fear and panic to lose her yet again.

He kissed her with such intensity that she could almost taste every bit of his emotions.


	34. You Have Forever

**Chapter 34: You Have Forever**

 _"How long will you keep me?" I asked._

 _You shrugged. "Forever, of course."_ \- Lucy Christopher in: **Stolen: A Letter to My Captor**

Bitter sweet. Tom's lips were still pressed against Joelle's mouth firmly - but the worst part of it was that she did not fight it. No. It was worse than not fighting it. Joelle enjoyed the kiss. Her arms, for once, wrapped around Tom's neck to bring him closer against her, to deepen the kiss that now turned a whole lot more heated after a first momentum of surprise on Tom's end - but he gladly took advantage of Joelle's change of mind. They have never kissed like this before.

"Where have you been?!" She asked in between the contact.

"I'm here now," he whispered back, kissing her yet again, causing her to swallow the words she was trying to convey when his lips skipped to the corner of her mouth and to her jawline until he reached her neck. Joelle's whole body was shaking with chills, but she closed her eyes. And came to her senses. She pulled away from the kiss.

"Where have you been."

"It doesn't matter, I said," spoke Tom back with the same firm tone that Joelle had used for her question. He suddenly pulled her against himself, staring into her eyes deeply. But Joelle looked away, around the dead bodies on the floor. Had she really kissed Tom, being surrounded by this tasteless scene?

"All of this skirmish wouldn't have happened if Avery had not gone home. He will pay for this. This is the last time he-"

"It was my fault," Joelle spluttered out before thinking. Tom looked up into her eyes, clearly expecting an explanation. Joelle had trouble thinking of an excuse - something, anything to prevent insufferable Avery being killed. But nothing came into her mind.

"How so?" Tom asked calmly. But his calmness always beheld a luring-kind of tone. When Joelle couldn't give him an answer within a time frame of appearing trustworthy, he sighed and tucked some strands of hair behind her ear. "You're lying to me, sweet Joelle. I don't want you to lie to me," he whispered.

"Don't kill him...he left because I attacked him. And that's not a lie," she said truthfully. She had verbally attacked Avery. Somewhat. Tom still raised an eyebrow when Joelle went on.

"I just don't like him. But that's no reason to kill him. I wanted him gone and you know how I can be-"

"Why do you protect him."

His voice. Tom's voice was ice cold and stern - as if he couldn't stand the perspective of Avery meaning something to her.

"I just told you that I don't like him. And...to be honest, he reminds me of John," Joelle sighed. Tom scowled slightly upon hearing that name, but he seemed to understand a bit more.

"He means absolutely nothing to me. But I don't want anyone else to be killed because of me...please."

"If that's what you wish, my dearest..." Tom whispered and gently rubbed her cheek. He was in a generous mood. Still yet, there was some silence between them next.

"You have lost weight..." Tom then stated when he looked down at her. Joelle's eyes were empty, but she nodded. It was true. She had lost a lot of weight ever since Tom found her again. Her appetite was just not the same it was years ago.

"You look unhealthy. Way too pale. Where has your light gone, Joelle?" Tom inquired. Joelle chuckled bitterly at that. She thought about making a smart comeback about his darkness turning off the light, but she did not bother.

"I suppose I'm just not the epitome of happiness at the moment, am I?" She asked rhetorically.

"You're still naive," said Tom then. This was a little surprising - the statement was so contextless. Still yet, Joelle nodded. "Being naive is my nature," she whispered.

"Something that I try to preserve," Tom whispered back.

"Preserve?" Joelle frowned. "Are you being sarcastic?"

"No," Tom shook his head. "I am not," he gently stroked along her bloody bottom lip, his eyes fixed on it. "Those savages hurt you. I will make them _pay_."

"They're dead," whispered Joelle, flinching a slight bit at the contact of Tom's skin on her wound. He did not respond, and Joelle had no idea what his silence could mean.

"Marvolo," said Joelle. "I am in a constant state of uncertainty. I'm hovering above the truth. I know you make me go through what I made you go through," and at this point Tom's eyes narrowed for the split of a second, "but I feel like I'm breaking apart without an answer, without a purpose. I fully realized that when I wasn't sure whether or not I would've pitied them killing m-"

Grasp. 

"Don't you dare say that!" Tom hissed, grabbing Joelle's chin back firmly. His eyes appeared redder than before, his nostrils widened with rage, his mouth pressed together into a straight line. Joelle kept quiet for now. And Tom used this absence of words to go on.

"Your purpose was clear the moment you have stepped into room 26 back then. Hasn't Bryan told you to stay away from it? Funny. Considering above all people, it was _he_ who made you curious..."

Joelle frowned when Tom said this. She had an instant flashback. How she strolled around with Bryan on their first evening she stayed at Wool's orphanage, how Bryan said exactly that. "Better stay away from room 26."

But she hadn't stayed away. She decided to open the door, to find out about the boy behind it.

"Some doors should remain closed, Joelle."

"You were just a child..." She whispered.

"But was I?" Tom asked. Joelle's eyes shot up to him. Was he? She glanced away.

"How do people like you, who studied psychology, encounter people like me? Do they tell you to stay away from us?" Tom chuckled. "Not so easy, is it?"

"I just wanted to help you back then," Joelle whispered again. "I hadn't anticipated that-"

"That what? That you cannot help me?" Tom asked, tucking some strands of hair behind her ear yet again. "You better believe it."

"All the time. We are talking about these things all the time. But we never say anything," Joelle looked away. Tom remained quiet for a while before he decided to comment. "You are right. The questions bore me. But you won't stop asking." He then got up. "It's probably about time I show you what will happen next."

"No. I don't want to see anything. I want us to speak freely now. Without the leashes of doubts and regret. I want us to be honest."

Tom's expressionless face did not change. He stared at Joelle with a straight mouth. This calmness, however, made Joelle nervous. It took her some time until she decided to go ahead.

"I want my life back," she whispered. "I want. A. Life."

But Tom did not twitch nor budge. His expression was waxy and smooth. He sighed. He was indeed annoyed.

"You are still the main defendant in the murder case of Wool's orphanage. Do you think I arranged all of that just to agree to letting little Miss Cole go when she tries to withdraw from her debts?"

"Then how! How do I pay it back! How can I pay it back when you leave for weeks every time you get confronted with something inconvenient!" Joelle hissed. "You don't tell me about withdrawing when it's _you_ who runs away every time you feel rejected."

"Watch your words!" Tom narrowed his eyes, his hand wrapping around her wrist. He pulled her closer. "Watch. Your. Words."

And then there was silence again. The tension was another story, but the silence between them was he loudest they have had for a while.

"I want to pay it back. But you must tell me how," Joelle whispered. Tom closed his eyes, he looked away. And there it was again, silence swirling around them. It felt like an eternity, it lasted forever. Tom Marvolo Riddle had Joelle Cole back - and she would not stop asking. Was he under the belief that she gave in? Perhaps, yes, of course. She has given in. But those questions. Those ever so nagging questions. She didn't leave him alone. No matter how often he ran away - no matter how often he would return. She knew he would always come back; all the time. She knew he would come back sooner or later - just like he knew that he would come back sooner or later. And get what belonged to him.

"You know the answer," said Tom. "You know how to pay it back."

"I want you to say it. To erase the chances of misunderstanding," Joelle said. Tom looked into her eyes for a few seconds, inhaling deeply.

"Stay with me," he suddenly said. "You must stay with me."

Joelle did not ask for how long. She knew what he meant. Deep inside, she knew all the time that Tom never planned on letting her go. He planned on becoming her destiny. Her _purpose_. Forever.

"...One more thing. Where have you been?" Joelle asked. Her voice was softer now. It was a paradox. Even though she had no reason to warm up, she had even less of a reason to be cold now. Tom did not answer.

"If this is what you want. Then we must share our secrets. You know about mine. All of them. I know nothing about you..."

Tom chuckled suddenly. "You are so stubborn. Insufferable and stubborn. And you're wrong. You know more about me than anybody else."

Joelle smiled a slight bit, she turned her face away from him. "I know you're stubborn and insufferable, too."

Tom grinned. It was only now that Joelle realized what he was doing; she felt his soft touch on her thigh. He had a warm and large temperature to his hand, his long fingers squeezed lightly on her skin. But Joelle crossed her leg above the other, raising an eyebrow, causing Tom's lips to twist into a smirk.

"Playing hard to get?" He cooed. Joelle raised an eyebrow.

"I never play, Marvolo."

"Right," Tom huffed with amusement, shaking his head as he drew his hand away. He stared out of the window for a while. The sunrise was almost over - the sky was shining in its faint purple and light blue glory. Joelle watched how Tom's eyes, previously so full of what she interpreted as a form of joy, turned into something else, something dirty, something tainted. Slowly, he turned his face towards her. Joelle wanted to scream when she looked into his eyes that appeared to still be the same color but beheld a gleam of threat that she could not bear. He roughly pulled her closer against his body, staring into her very soul before he hugged her so tightly that Joelle could barely gasp. What has gotten into him so suddenly? Tom had these moments where he was there. Fully there, with her, in the situation. And then, like now, he was somewhere else. He was someone else.

"You wanted to know where I was..." Tom whispered almost inaudibly; his breath forced shivers through Joelle's spine. She clung onto him.

"I...don't need to know-"

"I took care of us..." Tom murmured repetitively, as if she was not even there, as if she had not said a single word. "I took care of us."

Joelle did not want to hear any more of this. She knew, deep inside, what he was talking about. Then again, she could not stop her own words before they left her lips.

"You killed somebody else," she said in a tone of fighting sadness.

Silence. 

Tom let go of Joelle; his arms slowly fell down. He pulled away from her figure, but still stared into her eyes. For the split of a second, Joelle flinched at the expectation of getting slapped, she already brought her hands closer to her chest in order to stop a possible attack, but it did not come.

Not physically.

"Do you ever listen to me, Joelle?" He asked with a smile of disbelief as he shook his head and looked away, chuckling again. His eyes flickered over to her.

"DO YOU EVER LISTEN?!" He yelled and smacked the palm of his hand onto the wall where Joelle scurried against. Tom drew himself against her body, she could feel him, she could smell him - taste the madness she couldn't escape.

"I took care of us," he whispered against her lips. Joelle nodded, her heartbeat pondering so rapidly against her chest that she heard the pulsing in her head, growing dizzy from it. She was trembling.

"Do you trust me?" He then asked. Joelle could think of no worse timing for a question like this, so silly a question. His gaze was brought to her eyes, half lidded, lingering, waiting to attack. The rope of steaminess between them pulled tighter around Joelle's throat, drying out her voice.

"I know that you're thinking things through...from A to Z and back..." She whispered, causing Tom to frown widely with a sudden grin growing on his lips.

"You are most right, my dearest. That's why you should finally give in. No more silly questions. I have things planned - more than you can dream up. We shall start by leaving this manor tomorrow."

"Leaving? But where are we going?"

"Shh. No silly questions no more." Tom pulled Joelle against his chest when she tried to voice yet another thought, hugging her to himself. Joelle held onto his arms loosely. There was some silence yet again. Joelle's eyes flickered over to the dead bodies still on the floor, and as if Tom knew that she secretly pitied them, secretly felt sorry, secretly paid them attention, he withdrew from the hug and waved his wand. The bodies disappeared.

"Where did you bring them?" Joelle asked. Tom's cold eyes looked at her again, but he was calm when he sighed. What did he tell her about silly questions?

"They shall find their duties in their death; idiots though they might be. They'll guard something that is mine. And soon...a part of you as well."

"I don't understand what you mean," said Joelle, but Tom shook his head and grabbed her hand, starting to walk out of the room. It was still dark and late, as Joelle could see through the arched windows of Riddle manor. Tom entered the bedroom with her and started to take off his dark cloak. Joelle gave him some privacy by turning her face away from him, but started to lay down onto the bed.

"Muggles marry. Silly, don't you think?" Tom then asked as he laid down next to her. Joelle looked at him. Where did this question come from?

"Why? I think marrying is beautiful."

"Of course you'd think like that. You're the type of girl to fall for those things."

"What's so bad about wanting to possibly spend the rest of your life with somebody you love?" Joelle asked with a slight frown.

"The perspective of divorce makes a wedding most pointless."

Joelle looked into Tom's eyes. And he looked back.

"A wedding is not eternal, Joelle," he whispered, twisting some strands of hair around his index finger. "Not even without a divorce."

"Then again, forever is such an ugly word," she whispered back. Tom narrowed his eyes. "I couldn't think of one more beautiful."

"That's the difference between you and me," said Joelle while Tom kept twisting her hair. He nodded, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"You will learn to cherish my way. After all, you have forever."


	35. Lord and Lady

**Chapter 35: Lord and Lady**

 _The question isn't who's going to let me; it's who's going to stop me_ \- Ayn Rand

"Marvolo, could you tell me what day it is?" Joelle asked the next morning at the breakfast table. Tom glanced at her swiftly, then sipped on a cup of tea. "Monday."

"No, the date," said Joelle impatiently. Tom just chuckled. "You should care about precision, Joelle," he said upon her grumbling.

"It's the fifteenth of July. 1946, if you haven't realized."

"July?" Joelle frowned. "I could have sworn it's August already. It's so incredibly warm outside."

"That's true. This year's summer is very unpleasant. I am surprised you still noticed it," he put down his cup.

"Why are you so surprised?" Joelle asked.

"I have used a spell to regulate the temperature inside Riddle manor. I did not want you to melt," Tom's mouth twitched up slightly. Joelle chuckled, then stopped abruptly. She has already melted like wax in the hands of Tom. Anger swelled up in her chest. She was weak. And it hit her now - now while she was talking to Tom about the weather; one of the most banal things to have a conversation on. But she pushed it away. She had made a choice and decided against fighting him for the sake of her own. But how foolish was she to think that she wasn't fighting.

"Thinking about your future?" Tom asked. Joelle sighed.

"Not quite. Too troubled dealing with what's in the past." She looked away.

Tom nodded, faking his ability to understand as he spoke coldly. "Somebody must have missed to tell you that the past will always catch up."

"Especially when you least expect it," Joelle responded. Tom didn't comment, instead he got up and waved his wand so that the used dishes were cleared from the table. He held out his hand to her. "Come."

And then they disappeared.

Joelle looked around her new cage. At first she thought it was a hotel room, but it had too much personal decor as to be one. There were dark red curtains hanging down to the very floor, framed pictures and books spread around. A large bed with navy covers was placed in the center of the room, dark brown wooden nightstands next to it. But what caught Joelle's most attention was the framed poster of a skull and a snake slithering from its mouth around it in the sign of infinity. It scared her.

"Where are we?"

"At the home of a very good friend of mine," said Tom with a halfway grin.

"Marvolo, why did we leave Riddle manor?"

"People will investigate the place in order to find out who killed the two men."

"They will investigate?! But my clothes! Some of my clothes are still there! And other things that belong to me! Marvolo, they might be able to find out that they're mine and think it was me-"

"Tragic. Very, very tragic, I know, Joelle," said Tom collectedly. Joelle frowned in realization. Another trap, yet again. She looked away while fighting the tears.

"Isn't it enough that I agreed to give you a chance?" She asked as she spun around angrily.

"I don't see you trying," murmured Tom.

"What is it?! What do you expect? Marrying you?! Falling pregnant?! Living a happy life?!"

The more Joelle yelled, the more Tom's eyes darkened. "You know, I believe that sounds like a fine idea," he cooed.

Joelle just shook her head, chuckling in disbelief. She turned her face away, but that's when Tom grabbed her back by the wrist roughly and pulled her against himself.

"The only detail you're missing is that marrying leaves a chance of divorce, I told you before ," he said coldly, pushing Joelle's arms down that the later tried to rip away from his figure as he fastened them around himself to keep her in a tight hug.

"Look at me."

Joelle inhaled deeply. It took her some time to look up to Tom. But she eventually did.

"Until death do us part, they say," Tom whispered, pressing his forehead against Joelle's. He closed his eyes and laughed out loud suddenly. "Death is so weak."

"Marvolo..."

"When the soul binding ritual has finally worked, no such silliness can be my downfall. You don't see it yet, Joelle. You might not see it at all. You are...blinded. Blinded by that old man promising you a happy end. But an end is never happy. It's a contradiction. Beauty is timeless. It is eternity. True beauty never ends."

This was one of the rare moments where Tom let Joelle in on his true thoughts. He was usually very reserved and kept most of his ideas to himself and only let Joelle feel the results. But for some reason, Tom was under the impression that he had nothing to lose anymore. He knew that Joelle would give in at some point. He knew her well.

"We still have to work on your magical signature. You will be trained more. You are a witch," Tom said sternly suddenly. Joelle did not know where this sharp tone came from.

"It's not exactly my fault that we stopped training," Joelle said back sharply enough for Tom to understand that she was aiming at his constant absence.

"It doesn't matter. We have time now. Come on, follow me," he said, holding out his hand for her to take. Joelle grabbed it and together they aimed downstairs. This place was a lot like Riddle manor, just far more darker. The furniture was exclusively dark brown and there were objects of sorts that Joelle has never seen before.

Joelle thought the poster before was interesting, but she changed her mind. It was now the ceiling that caught most of Joelle's attention as soon as she walked into the empty room. It represented a galaxy; it was as though Joelle could see right through the endless beauty of space. The room wasn't dark, but lit up by the stars and light of the magenta and blue glory that came with the galaxy. She loved it.

"We will train here," said Tom, holding out the Ivy wand to Joelle. Joelle smiled when she held it in her hand, feeling the energy pulsing through her veins. Tom observed her curiously when she did that. He found everything she did intriguing. He wanted it all to himself. Joelle was for his eyes only.

"Am I finally going to learn how to protect myself?" She asked. Tom sighed. "I will protect you."

"How, when you're never there?" Joelle couldn't help but hiss.

"I will be there," said Tom collectedly. "I won't let you out of my sight again."

Joelle didn't know how to feel about this. Even though it sounded like a promise made to a dear person, she couldn't help but feel threatened. Maybe Tom's constant absence was good - and she would soon realize how much she wanted him gone. He walked behind her. Joelle could feel his soft breathing on the back of her neck, giving her chills. His big hand rested under her elbow, gently pushing it up to the position he had in mind. His other hand was resting on her hip. Joelle felt shaky on her knees. The closeness and warmth made her nervous.

"Keep your arm up there. Spells that are thrown at you will mostly aim towards your chest - that's where the most energy comes from. You don't have time to deflect a curse when your hand isn't in the right position."

Joelle nodded at the explanation and remained standing where she was when Tom let go. He stepped in front of her and observed her stance, then walked further away.

"I will throw nonverbal curses at you. Most curses that can be seriously harmful are nonverbal. The advantage of it is that your opposite cannot react immediately with a counterspell or curse."

"That's great," said Joelle dryly. "Good I trained enough to deflect your nonverbal curses then, right? Wait- didn't you say you didn't want to train me how I can protect mys-"

"Quiet," said Tom sternly, his face unamused and unemotional as always. Joelle muttered to herself but kept standing in her position. Tom took his time observing her warningly.

"Hurry, I'm getting a cramp!" She yelped. Before long, a dark purple bolt of light was sent her way.

"What am I gonna do! What am l gonna do!" She yelled, not knowing a single spell to react to it. Joelle hastily jumped to the ground just the split of a second before the curse could have hit her, ignoring the ice cold laughter coming from Tom. He threw his head back, then bent over, his dark cloak flying dramatically in his quick move of amusement.

"FUNNY!" Joelle yelled. "I don't even know how to-Marvolo!" Joelle gasped and rolled off to the side when yet another curse was directed at her. Instead of laughing, Tom was furious.

"For Merlin's beard, fight back! Just let your energy do the work for you!" Tom yelled and stomped towards Joelle, ripping her off of the ground to stare at the girl. He frowned when he saw the tears in her eyes.

"What do you think protecting yourself is about? You will have to attack me," he said in somewhat of a softer tone when he saw her sadness. Joelle shook her head.

"I don't want to hurt you," she whispered. This caught Tom off guard. His usually so controlled features allowed a slight frown to show. That bittersweet innocence. "Very well then..." He whispered and held up his wand. "Protego. That's what you'll have to say. Out loud, firmly and clearly. And flick your wand ahead." He stepped away once more. And attacked.

"Protego!" Exclaimed Joelle at the jolt of white light ahead of her. She watched how it merely fled around her body, but did no harm at all. Tom lowered his wand as he watched Joelle's eyes glistening in joy upon the magic she performed, and he couldn't help but to be proud of her himself.

"Ah, Tom. Here you are," said a voice hours later.

"Shh," hissed Tom, spinning around towards Lestrange. Just seconds before, Tom was watching Joelle asleep on the couch, rolled up and tiny. Lestrange walked over to Tom, seeing how Joelle was hugging around the pillows. He smiled lightly.

"That's cute," he commented, not reacting to the raised eyebrow thrown at him. It seemed like Tom did not appreciate anyone's comments on Joelle and her mannerisms or looks all together. He turned around and walked off in that grand way he knew how to carry himself, Lestrange following.

"Is Black coming?"

"Yes." Lestrange nodded.

"Good. Very good. And Mulciber and Nott are at there to observe?"

"Yes." Lestrange nodded again.

"And Rosier and Avery set up the spell?"

"Yes " nodded Lestrange. "Would you like to monitor it? If you wish, I can take care of Joelle-"

"Lady Joelle," said Tom suddenly, spinning around. "A lord's woman is called a Lady, Lestrange. You would do well to remember titles..." He said warningly, eying up his opposite in an intruding manner. Lestrange cleared his throat but nodded after gulping, smiling hectically. "Forgive me, my lord."

Tom still stared at Lestrange, only lazily dragging his gaze away. "Joelle will be asleep throughout the process. And I shall stay with her until everything is set up. I want you to call me on time."

"Yes, of course," said Lestrange, bowing. Tom turned around and walked off, back into the room where Joelle was. He sat down next to her on the edge of the couch, stretching out his hand to run through her hair, which caused Joelle to blink her eyes open. She stretched with a smile that Tom reflected for once.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered.

"For how long have I been asleep?"

"Maybe two hours. You should go back to sleep, you need it."

"I've never been so tired before...it feels like my energy is completely gone," she yawned. Tom nodded. "The training is what has been tiring you. That's normal."

"Are wizards and witches tired from using magic, too?"

"You are a witch, Joelle," said Tom firmly. But he proceeded with his answer. "And yes, young witches and wizards, too, are getting exhausted. But as we learn to use magic and control it, we grow accustomed to it. We learn to channel magic and energy at an early age - and that's why it exhausts you more. You never learned it."

Joelle nodded slowly to signal she was understanding what Tom talked about, rubbing her eyes as Tom ran his hand through Joelle's hair again. "You've done well today," he murmured. "You're very talented."

Joelle smiled lightly, then huffed when she noticed that his flattery was working. She turned her face away, resulting in hearing Tom's light chuckle. He was in such a good mood lately. The sad thing was that his good mood was based on his success of dominating her.

"A talented witch like you should be in her natural habitat," said Tom.

"And what's that?" Joelle asked. "On a broomstick, flying through the air with a black cat?"

Tom sighed and shook his head. "Oh dear no, haven't I told you that you'll never ride a broomstick? Such vulgarness."

The corners of Joelle's mouth twitched up.

"I still don't understand what's so bad about it. Apparently it's very common."

"But we aren't common, Joelle," said Tom with a tone of finality that made further questions seem unimportant. "We will explore a lot together."

"Explore?" Joelle asked. Tom nodded. "Now, I told you I want to travel with you. You have to understand my world, it'll assist the forming of your magical signature."

"But-"

"Sleep now."

Two or three hours later, Joelle was still asleep. But she woke up due to her stomach giving a quiet rumble. When she looked around, she realized that Tom wasn't there. It was dark. And Joelle panicked out of nowhere. She noticed how her heart began to beat rapidly against her chest - she was scared, scared to be alone, scared to be attacked, scared that Tom might not make it in time if he had left once more. He was gone. She got out of the bed, swaying to the left upon the pressuring fear pondering against her forehead, taking her breath away.

The door was locked.

Joelle's eyes widened, the air got thinner, her voice raspy, her throat felt clasped together, as if somebody wanted to choke her. She glanced to her hands that were visible through the moonlight. They were shaking. And her wand was not there. Joelle panted heavily, trying to calm down, but she has never felt like this before. The panic attack got so severe that the world around her began to spin, and when Joelle pulled on her hair in desperation of making it stop, she ripped on the door handle - and was surprised when it opened. Magic? Whatever it was, Joelle carefully glanced to the left and right as she peeped her head out into the empty hallway decorated with portraits.

"There, the little mudblood is spying!" Hissed a painted man with grey hair and black attire. He had mean eyes that were narrowed to hateful slits. Joelle frowned at him. She forgot that magic could bring paintings to life.

"What's the noise, Comet? Ah, look who's awake. Tat-tat! He didn't tell her a thing!" Laughed a man with a red beard and dark eyes, clapping on his red gowned knees.

"Tell me what?" Inquired Joelle. But Comet, the old gray man, just crossed his arms and looked away. "The noble house of Lestrange has no business with your foul kind."

Joelle pulled her head away, her lips gapped open as she glanced to the left and right with big eyes insecurely, rubbing her forearm.

"Now go, shoo, to hell with you!" Barked Comet, raising his fist into the air.

Joelle pushed herself against the wall, then quickly took off into the other direction, covering her ears at the other paintings' hissing of "mudblood!".

When Joelle came down another corridor, she noticed a wooden door in the distance that was slightly tilted open. The only reason why she had seen it was the orange dimmed light shining from it, drawing her closer like a moth. She glanced around, to the left and right, but proceeded her way towards it. She now stood next to the door in order to hear something first, and soon recognized some chattering. Intruders? Or Tom? And why in secret? Joelle inhaled deeply and pulled the door open, gritting her teeth upon the silent squeaks that the wood gave away. She really didn't want to get caught now.

Ahead of her was a staircase leading down, apparently this was a basement. Joelle leaned her head to the north, trying to hear more, but the silent muffling too quiet to understand. She cautiously stepped ahead, constantly tilting her head around to make sure nobody was there. And then she saw them. In the distance, on the couch, were Tom, Avery, Black, Nott, Lestrange, Mulciber and Rosier - the latter whispering up to Tom, and Tom turned around to see Joelle.

"Joelle, dear. Come here," he said softly. Joelle felt uncomfortable with being the center of attention - even though Avery, by the look of his hateful glance, was certain she enjoyed it. Tom opened his arm, waiting until Joelle walked close enough to pull her down next to him, kissing her forehead. Joelle tried her best not to look at anyone when this happened, but as everyone looked at her it was sheer impossible.

"How did you get out of the room," Avery asked, but a glance from Tom made him add, "Lady Joelle?"

Joelle's eyebrows twitched together but she did not know how to respond - she was so taken aback by the title that she looked to Tom searchingly.

"I'm certain she did not want to miss the show," cooed Tom. "Right?"

"Show? What show?" Joelle asked, looking around, not understanding what was going on. But she knew, deep inside, that she would not like it.


	36. Horror

**Chapter 36: Horror**

 _Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. -_ Stephen King

"My Lord, it'll start in a moment," Avery declared. Tom nodded - but Joelle looked back and forth with eyebrows twitching in entertained disbelief.

"My _Loooord_?" Joelle whispered into Tom's ear, but he merely shoved her face away, ignoring her voiceless chuckling from the back of her throat that sounded like an engine dying. As Joelle glanced around the dark basement in curiosity, she felt how Tom's hand around her shoulder squeezed her tighter. He leaned down to whisper into her ear. "How could you open the door?"

Joelle wanted to answer, but she felt all eyes on her. The others were sitting on the opposite sides on couches and armchairs, but as soon as she glanced at them, they went back to staring at a wall that showed nothing. What were they waiting for?

"I panicked when you weren't there," said Joelle truthfully, not further elaborating on the topic. Tom's watchful gaze turned softer upon her words.

"Come, I'll take you upstairs again," he whispered and got up, holding his hand out to her. The other males were curiously watching the scene. Joelle didn't yet take Tom's hand.

"Why, didn't you say-"

"It's not my wish to discuss with you, my dear. I don't want you to be here right now," said Tom firmly. Joelle scowled, but she understood that Tom wouldn't take any humiliation in front of his puppets. And disobeying would seriously humiliate him - something she didn't want to take the consequences for. Joelle got up and Tom walked off while pressing her head to his chest, his arm wrapped around her waist as they marched through the corridors.

"But what are you all doing down there?" Joelle asked. Tom didn't answer at all while walking, and soon stopped in front of a door.

"No!" Joelle hissed, crossing her arms. "Enough with your secrets! Tell me!"

"In," Tom commanded through gritted teeth, but something else caught their attention. The portraits were raging once they recognized Joelle.

"There, the mudblood is misbehaving again! Better kill her! Get rid of the dirt!"

"Savage on the grounds of my father!"

"Mudblood! Mudblood! Look at her! Acting like she's one of us! Disgusting! She-" but before the lady in the frame could've finished her words, Tom had already waved his wand, muting the whole hallway. Joelle looked off to the side, fighting the tears in her eyes. Tom was so taken aback by what the portraits said that his eyes were widened. The next second, he stared at Joelle with a frown, grabbing her shoulders.

"Have they said these awful things when you walked downstairs?"

Joelle nodded in silence. Tom inhaled deeply through his nose, closing his eyes, his lips pressed together firmly. "I will have them removed," he now opened the door for Joelle and she walked in without another attempt of disobeying. Quite contrary to the belief of Tom marching off again, he followed Joelle inside the room and watched how she cuddled down the bed on an instant. He moved over to her and sat down on the edge. Joelle was clearly troubled by the recent insults, but Tom did not want to press it on his own accord. It wasn't necessary, as proven after a moment.n

"Why is being a mudblood such a bad thing?" Joelle asked. "Just because my family didn't consist of witches and wizards?"

Tom didn't respond. He saw how Joelle looked at him with the curiosity of a child that was expecting the world to be explained.

"You ought not to listen to their nonsense," Tom whispered. "They know nothing about your family."

"What about your parents? You said that your father was a...I forgot the word."

"A muggle," Tom grumbled, biting his bottom lip in anger. "No more word on it."

Joelle narrowed her eyes now. She hated how he forbade her to speak about the things that were interesting to her.

"There's something I don't understand. Still don't understand. You said that mudblood means having dirty blood - no magical parents. But a mudblood is still a witch or wizard, right?"

"More or less."

Joelle rolled her eyes and turned over, causing Tom to chuckle.

" _You_ are not less of a witch."

"Why, because I enchanted you?" Joelle asked as she turned around with a wink, giggling at Tom closing his eyes. He had trouble suppressing a grin, which caused Joelle to laugh full on before she glanced away.

"Look at me," Tom whispered. Joelle turned around. They stared at each other for a short while.

"I will go back downstairs again. No more sneaking around, is that clear?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"Joelle." 

Joelle cackled, but she nodded again. "Alright. I'll stay here and stare at the boring ceiling until it drives me mad."

Tom stared at the girl, then up. With a wave of his wand, the "boring white ceiling" was replaced with the galaxy from the room they've trained in earlier. Joelle gasped in awe. "Oooh!"

"I saw how mesmerized you were today. I'm sure you'll find enough stars to count," he got up and walked towards the door. Just before he stepped out, he took one last glimpse at Joelle, whose eyes were twinkling in fascination as she sat on the bed with her knees and stared up to the ceiling.

Tom adored her magic virginity.

"Ah, I am not sure, Albus. Wouldn't go for any of that. Not once," said a voice in the darkness. "Why the girl? Why would Tom take the girl? Didn't you say he wouldn't find her? And besides, Tom, really, the most talented young wizard of his generation, yes, maybe even since you've been at Hogwarts yourself. No. And I stand by it. Even if it were him -which l firmly believe it wasn't! But even it were, you said he _couldn't_ find her, said she's protected!"

"You see, Horace," said the softer voice of Professor Dumbledore. "None of us believed a capable man such as Tom would find any interest in working at Borgin and Burke's after being destined for the position of a minister. But alas, he has. And you are walking the false trail of putting too much trust into my abilities, I presume. It is not as easy as to merely count on Tom's inaptitude. He had years to research and find a way to reach her, while I was busy tending to somebody else."

"Grindelwald, of course, yes. Your victory is legend. So you are saying Tom chose a time where he knew you would be too busy to uphold protection? Isn't that far fetched? I was his teacher as much as you were! He certainly was...erm. Digging for information, if I am free to say so. Very curious. Knowledgable. He was a role model! Prefect! Head Boy! You wouldn't say he planned, truly planned to harm anyone?"

"I cannot say for certain, but certain it is that Riddle is a strategist beyond compare."

"But an ordinary girl, Dumbledore! I don't know! What would Tom want with her?" Horace waved the older man off as they stalked up a hill. Dumbledore merely chuckled. "Special enough to catch his full attention, wouldn't you agree? You were there the night we found her in the castle those years ago."

"Certainly was. Had only she been at Hogwarts at the time, I would've invited her over to Slugclub just for that accomplishment. But this place!" Professor Slughorn suddenly stopped walking. "Isn't it most pointless to look for her here? It's just a house."

"Two murders in the past few months. Riddle manor might be an intimidating place, but it cannot kill on its own accord."

Both professor Slughorn and professor Dumbledore stopped walking as they reached the tall facade of Riddle manor. "Here we are."

"The spell was perfectly set up, Rosier. It is very entertaining to watch them," said Tom, leaning back with a glass of wine. Rosier nodded with a faint grin. "Thanks." And their attention went back to the wall again that projected the pictures of Dumbledore and Slughorn cautiously walking around with their wands alight.

"It was very wise to consider Dumbledore being on your heels, my Lord. How could you know?" Nott asked. Tom gave him a pitiful smile. "He never stopped. It was only a matter of time until he would try to do something about Joelle. It is very inconvenient that he knows her, I must admit. He did not believe any of the newspaper scandals. And I anticipated that."

"Impressive," said Black, earning Tom nods of agreement.

"I was wondering about something. Joelle is...a witch. Why didn't Dippet send a letter when Joelle was eleven? Like it was done with everyone else? Why send Dumbledore to hand over the news that she had a place at Hogwarts?" Avery asked. Tom glanced at him warningly - he felt provoked by that simple question. It implied that Joelle, the mudblood, received a treatment above all the others; something she, in Avery's eyes didn't deserve.

"Because she is special," said Tom swiftly. None of the present dared to contradict. Instead, their attention went back to Riddle manor.

"What a fine house, don't you think? Oh, look at the porcelain, such artwork," Professor Slughorn turned around to every direction to take in the great view of the interior. Dumbledore, on the other hand, didn't pay much attention to decor.

"Don't forget, Horace. We ought not to grasp anything with the hands of curiosity but with mere caution."

"Now, I am not a student anymore," said Slughorn flustered, his large stomach aiming at Dumbledore with hands pressed to his hips. The latter, however, merely continued walking with his wand shining to every angle. Slughorn sighed, but picked up his wand as well, strolling around carefully, almost jumping when he saw his reflection in a particular mirror - then grew frustrated at himself for falling for this. "I still believe this is a waste of time," he murmured just when out of nowhere, Dumbledore grabbed Slughorn and pulled him out of the way, for a large column behind started to crash towards them in the darkness.

"Merlin's beard!"

"Do you still believe this is a, how did you word it, waste of time?" Dumbledore asked with his soft voice. They stared at each other, then around again, oblivious to the fact that Tom was most amused, laughing coldly at their attempts to help the world being a better place.

"The silliness of scholars," Tom chuckled, swirling the red wine in his glass before sipping on it. Nott and Lestrange chortled loudly while Black and the rest watched everything with sheer excitement.

"It's almost as funny as watching Dumbledore having an eye on you after Myrtle Warren," said Avery. Tom threw him another warning glance that caused Avery to instantly know that this was uncalled for to say. "Just, reminded of that, my Lord."

"No word on it around Joelle. At all," Tom murmured darkly. "She ought not to know."

The rest of the guys nodded while Tom went back to staring at the scene ahead of him, rubbing his chin in deep thought, but his full attention was grasped when Dumbledore and Slughorn moved around again.

"My Lord, you haven't told us what you had prepared for them," said Mulciber with excitement.

"Watch," whispered Tom with a faint smirk. Just when Dumbledore stepped ahead, the carpet below started to warp and bulge. Slughorn and Dumbledore both staggered backwards with their wands raised at the carpet growing bigger and bulgier - and then, out of nowhere, flattened down. Dumbledore had his arm outstretched towards Slughorn's chest, looking through his half moon spectacles at the Persian fabric. Only the quiet breathing from their very mouths was audible. And then many things happened at once. ZOOM. The carpet heaved them up, causing the both men to fly into midair where they hovered just as Dumbledore waved his wand in time and made them float on the spot, for the floors of Riddle manor were nothing but glowing hot lava.

"ALBUS!" Yelled Slughorn, firing off spells at the lava that leashed out at him and burnt a part of his leg, causing him to hiss in pain. No sooner than the lava was there, it began to sicker back down into the carpet - and disappear like water in potting soil. Slughorn winced in pain once they hovered back down onto the grounds.

"Not your regular home, is it?" Dumbledore asked collectedly, turning around, ignoring Slughorn's glare of bitterness. None of them heard the loud laughter coming from Tom and his gang.

"That was just the drawing room, wait for what comes in the remaining parts of the house," said Lestrange amused.

"Where are they going now?" Nott asked.

"Looks like the kitchen," said Mulciber. All eyes went to the wall.

Dumbledore marched ahead with Slughorn looking around insecurely, clutching to his wand with a shaky hand. Just as Dumbledore tilted the door open with his wand poking it, about sixty knives were flying their way. Both men managed to duck just in time, hearing the loud thudding of steel against the walls from behind, which is where the knives stabbed into. Slughorn rushed ahead to close the door.

"I doubt he would hide the girl in a place that could stab her to death!" Slughorn said fiercely. "Really, Albus! We can't just explore, let's send Aurors here, it's their job to do this!"

"You are under the belief of being forced by me, I think. Feel free to go home, if you will. I shall stay," said Dumbledore and merely proceeded his way. Slughorn watched him, looked back and forth, then bit his bottom lip and threw his fist to the side, carefully following Dumbledore upstairs.

"Why do you have to be so reckless!" Slughorn asked. "This house is full of curses and jinxes! This is so unlike you!"

"Indeed," whispered Dumbledore. "I am not here because I truly believe to find the girl here, my dear Horace."

"But then what are we here for!" Horace exclaimed.

"I want to see how far Riddle has delved into the darkness. I want to see how much negative force he's capable of in those young years."

"Am I understanding you right - you just want to stroll around here to see what murderous spells could kill us?!"

"Curses, Horace. Curses."

Tom sat up when Dumbledore said this.

"Now isn't that cute," said Avery. The other guys chimed in in agreement while chuckling. "Right now, we've just been playing around with them."

"What do you mean?" Asked Black.

"I was the one setting the curse up in the drawing room," said Rosier. "And Nott set the one up in the kitchen.

"My Lord," said Black. "So that is just a...foretaste? Which room did you take over?"

Tom smiled to himself, his eyes glowing a faint shade of red. "The basement," he cooed, which was exactly where Slughorn and Dumbledore were headed next.

Far upstairs, Joelle was rolling around in her bed, throwing herself from the left to the right, eyelids twitching. She was in a house. She was in a dark, ice cold place, a place she has never been at before. Joelle looked around. She knew she was dreaming. Yes, this was only a dream. Or was it? As Joelle looked around the darkness lit up by nothing than the light of the moon somewhere in the back of nothingness. She carefully moved ahead. There was a door, just like she had seen when she sneaked down into the basement at Lestrange manor. And now she was walking down a basement once more. How curious. Joelle felt the ice cold air around her, again she knew that she was merely dreaming. In a dream, she could explore, she thought. She wouldn't be hurt. Her mind was awake, her body was asleep. Joelle was aware.

She opened the door with a loud creaking sound. Ahead of her was nothing but a large room built of grey bricks, dyed in darkness. Tall wooden shelves with empty dusty storages gave her the notion that this place hasn't been visited for a long time. A shiver ran down Joelle's spine, a loud noise was heard in the back. She turned around hastily.

Avery chuckled. "Did you see how Slughorn turned at that noise?"

"That basement is really dark, I almost can't see anything," Nott grumbled at the scene ahead. The two professors were alarmed.

Joelle was alarmed. She still looked to every direction, not yet moving at all. After a while of telling herself that this was just a dream, she inhaled deeply and once more picked up the courage to keep waking. She came to a halt when there, in the distance, stood something. Joelle let out a gasp of fear, instantly falling to the ground.

There stood a dark hooded figure. Tall. Almost human like, but bald. It waited there against the wall, watching with pale eyes slowly lighting up in the distance, nothing else of its face was shown. Joelle's heart was racing, she inhaled deeply, her eyes widened when the creature moved. She tried to crawl away, feeling the painful scratches from the floor breaking her skin. It felt real, too real to be a dream. The creature came closer.

Slughorn tried his hardest to get his wand to light up, but Dumbledore didn't even bother. He looked at the dark creature in the distance as it came closer, then simply grabbed Slughorn's forearm and turned around.

"We shall be leaving, Horace."

"What-Merlin's beard, what-" Slughorn exclaimed, not able to copy the levelheadedness of Dumbledore. He still felt the creature following.

"This is not an entity worth fighting. We are leaving. Do not look back. And do not look into its eyes," said Dumbledore softly, walking upstairs again. And out of Riddle manor.

The basement where Tom and his comrades remained was dead silent. None of those attendant dared to say a word - dared to comment on what they had just witnessed. None of them dared to word it, word its name.

"M-My Lord..." Black whispered, his voice shaky. "Was that..." But he interrupted himself.

"Slughorn and Dumbledore are gone," said Nott. Tom nodded, rubbing his chin with a smirk. He enjoyed their shudders of both fear and unconditional awe. None of them ever went this far as Tom has tonight.

"What are you going to do about it, my Lord?" Nott asked. Tom flickered his eyes at him, as if provoked enough to kill, but decided against it.

The creature walked closer to Joelle, her voice was dryer out, too thin to be used. She heard a soundless breath coming from the creature's mouth, it slowly, very slowly, bent down to her level. It took its long fingers and, as of time was freezing around it, pulled up its dark hood, slowly revealing parts of a monstrous face Joelle has never seen. Oval glowing red eyes looked straight into hers, a dark hand grabbed her shoulder, and Joelle screamed like she has never screamed in her life before.

"What was that?!" Lestrange yelled below, all guys in the basement jumped up from their seats.

"Joelle," whispered Tom, looking up. All of them disapparated in front of the closed door.

"Joelle?!" Tom shouted. Joelle was still screaming from the top of her lungs, crying for help. Tom kept trying to get through, but it was locked. He remembered locking it before he had left, and quickly undid the charm, rushing into the room with his comrades following close behind.

Joelle was on the floor, crawled against the wall, her head in her lap while she sobbed and screamed "GO AWAY! GO AWAY!", unable to comprehend that it was Tom in front of her. He shook her awake.

"Joelle," he whispered, throwing his arm up at the chandelier that lit up the room. Joelle looked around with her tear-stained eyes, recognizing the bedroom.

"Have you had a nightmare?" Tom asked, not seeing Avery rolling his eyes behind his back. The rest of the guys were about to step out of the room, but stopped abruptly when Joelle said the next few words.

"I-I was in a b-basement, there was a dark creature! A dark creature with eyes of pure-pure evilness...! It felt so real! It touched my shoulder, it burnt, it felt so real, it- Marvolo...what is this?!" She cried when Tom grabbed her shoulder and exposed a bit of burnt, bloody skin.


	37. An Almost Mistake

**Chapter 37: An Almost Mistake**

 _The difference between greatness and mediocrity is how an individual views a mistake_ \- Nelson Boswell

Tom still stared at Joelle's bruised skin. "Leave," he said out loud, glancing behind his shoulder. Lestrange and the rest of the crew walked out of the room, however, unable to hide their shocked expressions and curious faces. None of them were able to understand how Joelle could experience the same thing they have watched Dumbledore and Slughorn experiencing, resulting in loud arguing as soon as they were out of the door. Tom pulled Joelle closer, observing every inch of her body, as if he could not allow reality to be true.

"What was that thing...?!" Joelle asked with a panicked voice. Tom did not answer at first. Instead, he stared up the galaxy ceiling, thoughts flooding his sanity. "Nothing that will ever lay hands on you again."

Joelle glanced ahead at Tom with eyes widened at first - but they steadily narrowed. Out of a first impulse and intense wrath boiling in her, she raised her hand and tried to attack Tom, but he was fast enough to calmly catch her wrist. "Calm down."

"I'm tired! Tired of getting hurt because of you! You and your, your, ngh!" Joelle yelled and wiggled around, trying to pry Tom off of her, but his grasp around her wrist tightened so hard that it was impossible to break free. "I'm just tired!" Joelle repeated. Tom's gaze fell on her when she said that. He gently brushed some strands of hair behind her ear, then inhaled deeply. "I had planned leaving next week. Considering today's events, I will change my mind. We will be leaving now," he whispered, pulling Joelle up. "You are to never get out of my sight again."

Joelle did not answer, but judging by Tom's words, she was most assured that whatever had touched her in her dream had all the chances to touch her in reality. She watched how Tom waved his wand, not saying a single word. He controlled magic by his mere willpower and mind. Clothes flew into a bag, more than it should physically be able to fit in. How did he do that?

"Undetectable extension charm," said Tom softly. How did he always know what she was thinking of?

"Where are we going to go?" Joelle asked. Tom glanced at her, a slight grin crawling up his lips. "The whole wide world, my dear."

The wide world. Joelle felt like this was the right place to go. As soon as Tom was sure that he had picked up everything he needed, he grabbed Joelle's hand and apparated downstairs into the basement where the rest of the men were still waiting, engaged in heated debates. Joelle could only imagine it was about the recent events. Everything grew silent upon Tom's appearance and Joelle understood why. He carried a dark, severe, and mysterious aura. The men stood up.

"My lord," Avery started, "we have talked about what has happened and we-"

Tom raised his hand in order to stop Avery's voice; the latter fell silent.

"Joelle and I will be leaving. I don't wish to be called," Tom said sternly, glancing up Avery's arm. Joelle wondered why Tom did that, then shrugged it off, thinking it was because he expected Avery to lower his wand. On a second glimpse, Avery didn't even have his wand out. Before Joelle could spend any more thoughts on this, she was pulled away by Tom.

They landed in the middle of a breathtakingly beautiful region. Everything around them was just wide green hills, fascinating, in all shades of green that nature had. Joelle felt so tiny compared to the wide spread horizon that was around them, the orange sky was either greeting a good morning or good evening. The yellow sunlight lit up the air around them that carried the scent of warm and fresh grass. Joelle closed her eyes and was reminded of how beautiful life could be. She had almost forgotten.

"We are in Ireland," said Tom.

"Have you come here before?" Joelle asked. Tom nodded. "Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to apparate here. Witches and wizards can only apparate to places they've seen before or can vividly imagine."

"So, that means... if you imagined the Caribbean verrrry vividly...?" Joelle asked with a grin but Tom merely rubbed the back of her head, ruffling through her hair a little before he walked on over to a lonely cottage on top of a hill. It was rather small, but beheld everything that was needed to survive. A bed, several cupboards, a table and two chairs, and a door behind which Joelle expected to be the bathroom.

"We will barely be here, possibly just to sleep," said Tom as he put their bag into the closet, observing everything carefully before he turned around to Joelle. "You will see a lot of places. Some of them will be dangerous. No matter where we are, you must stay close to me. Speak only when I give you my permission."

Joelle crossed her arms when those information hit her ears.

"I'm serious," said Tom. Joelle said nothing. She turned away and walked around in the cottage, eyes falling out of a window. Her mind was flooded with ideas and fantasies of a better life - a life in which she was able to change things, change Tom. But the latter merely chuckled.

"Still dwelling in dreams?" He asked. Joelle knew exactly that he had a way to enter her thoughts.

"How do you do that? Is it that technique I didn't want you to learn years ago?" She asked. Tom stepped closer to her. "You remember."

"Of course I remember," said Joelle, almost offended. How could she forget anything that was about him?

"My thoughts are private," said Joelle firmly, trying to pick up her well known strictness that unfortunately these days did not work on Tom anymore.

"Not to me," whispered Tom swiftly, not even bothering to cover the fact that he delved into her very mind as he pleased.

"Did you also delve into that part you never want to hear? The part where I want to explain why I didn't want you to find me? The part-"

"We should eat something," said Tom with a firm tone that matched the topic he always avoided. Joelle bit her tongue, but did not hiss back. She had to constantly remind herself that she wanted to finally play along and try being kind to Tom, accept what he had for her - for maybe then she would understand, would be able to help everyone involved. But it was hard. Latest events reminded Joelle that it was very hard indeed.

"Could you please," she started, but got distracted watching Tom grabbing some food that looked fresh enough for Joelle to know that he had just recently come here and prepared everything, leaving her the question for how long he had actually planned all this. Sadly enough, she wouldn't have been surprised if the answer was somewhere in his childhood.

"Could I please what?" Tom urged, pressing Joelle's shoulder down to sit. Joelle sat at the table, glancing at how Tom put some strawberry jam on a slice of bread. As if nothing of what happened actually happened to him.

"Explain to me what that thing was, that thing in the basement, that hurt me," Joelle said again, trying to keep her cool posture, trying not to yell at Tom. Was it not obvious that she wanted answers, yes, deserved them? Tom, however, glanced to the opposite direction of the room. Whatever he thought of, it wasn't yet enough to tell Joelle what was going on. Her eyes went to the small mark on her skin. That thing. She glanced around, then sighed with a nod once Tom handed her the plate of bread and strawberry jam before making some for himself.

"The bed is rather small," said Joelle dryly as her eyes were fixed on it. Tom raised an eyebrow with a glint, smirking only lightly. "I'm sure we will be able to cope with that, my dear." He bit into the bread.

"My dear," Joelle imitated Tom's charming voice in a higher pitch. "You never cared much about the formalities of our time, Mr. Riddle. Haven't been a gentleman much." Joelle started to eat.

"You never cared much about being a lady yourself," said Tom with a slight grin. Joelle huffed, looking away.

"I remember the hats you've been wearing all the time. And as soon as you entered he orphanage you took them off." Tom played with the tablecloth, folding the corner up and down as he spoke softly. He was done eating.

"I hated those things," Joelle admitted. "Hats, I mean. Sure, I've been wearing them. But that was just for the outer world. There are no silly hats in my inner world," she shook her head.

"Then why adapt?" Tom asked. "You've never been shy to state what's on your mind."

"Oh, I found that hats helped me go undercover when John was looking for me. I would've been sticking out too much without wearing one. They protected me. Maybe that's why I have a love-hate relationship with them."

Tom observed Joelle carefully when she finished her last line. But his eyes narrowed upon a thought. "John," he repeated darkly.

"He's still in prison," said Joelle. "There is no need to grudge-"

"After all he has done, you don't hold a grudge against him?"

"It's almost ironic hearing this question from you, Marvolo," Joelle stared into Tom's eyes deeply after asking this with a very clear and firm tone. Tom stared back, breathing softly and controlled, but said no more.

"You said that we need to train my magical signature," Joelle started after finally dragging her eyes away from Tom's.

"Yes."

"How do you know when it's enough?" She asked. Tom chuckled. "Enough, she says. Magic has no limit. Power has no limit."

"Good lord, you know what I mean, just answer my question."

"You ask the wrong way. How I know it's enough? When do you finally not have to learn anything about magic anymore?" Tom asked, his tone was sour now. "Magic is a privilege."

"It never has been to me, unfortunately," said Joelle bitterly. "One of us didn't accept that. Want to know what's funny? It wasn't me who didn't."

Tom narrowed his eyes, shaking his head. "You make me angry," he said honestly. "You and your wish to live an ordinary life."

"Is that the moment I have to say sorry?" Joelle snapped, crossing her arms.

"I feel sorry enough for the two of us," said Tom with a dry comeback. Joelle looked at him surprised, but couldn't help being amused. Her mouth pursed, and Tom too, grinned. This was the first time after a very long while they laughed together for no apparent reason other than their mere unlikely existence that they shared here and now.

"Marvolo...what happened to Sylus Farley back then?" Joelle suddenly asked. Tom's mouth thinned on an instant, he had a quirk to somewhat pucker his lips or bite his tongue while his nostrils flared.

"He's alive, I suppose," Tom said. "I did not kill our beloved prefect from back in the days," he said with enough acid for Joelle to know that this topic was done and dealt with forever. But Joelle thought about this. She had run away, believing Tom killed Sylus - had gone to Dumbledore - never saw Tom again for so many years for a death that did not happen. And now she was laughing with the very man who had coldly murdered so many people, and along with that murdered the only part of what was left of a beautiful childhood. Joelle closed her eyes. She tried to push these things away, tried to preserve the only person that Tom had not yet eliminated.

"What kind of thoughts am I competing with?" Tom asked. "Or rather...whom?" He sipped on his tea. Just the simple way he held his cup and eyed her gave Joelle goosebumps. He had to always watch her.

"Nothing, nobody," said Joelle, jumping at the sound the cup made once it was put back down.

"Lies," smiled Tom, inhaling deeply. "Haven't l told you that I don't wish to be lied to?" He asked. Joelle cleared her throat, nodding back. Out of nowhere, Tom slammed the palm of his hand onto the table's surface loudly. "Then why are you doing it!" He yelled.

Joelle sat in her seat stiffly, her lips parted, eyes widened. Even though she has just reminded herself of how murderous Tom could be, she had forgotten how unpredictable, too.

"Look at me," said Tom with a softer whisper that didn't match the whole situation. It made Joelle even more nervous.

"You are what's real. I can't allow you lie to me," he explained with an angry tremble in his tone. "So I will ask again. Who is taking your attention from me?"

"I am sure that by asking this you already know," said Joelle. "It's like you want to be angry."

Tom rested back in his chair. "Bryan, hm?" He asked, chuckling. "I could make you forget about him. If I truly wanted."

"You do truly want to," said Joelle. Tom raised his chin when Joelle spoke along. She had found confidence somewhere. "But he's the only reason why I'm being that slight bit of cooperative. Yes, Marvolo, you depend on Bryan. If I didn't have him, I would have no motivation to stay with you at all."

Tom's mouth was the thinnest of all thin mouths Joelle has ever seen. She had often seen Martha's mouth thinning out when she was, again, too troubled by the children at the orphanage. But it was nothing compared to Tom's expression. His eyes flickered red for the split of a second.

"I...Depend...on Bryan Lessing...?" He asked breathlessly, his fists clutched onto the sites of his chair. He gritted his teeth. Tom Marvolo Riddle depended on nobody. "You can't possibly be thinking such NONSENSE!" He yelled, shooting up from his chair, now slamming both of his arms onto the table after throwing the plates away with a swift move. He drew his torso closer to Joelle, whom pressed herself back to the chair as much as possible.

"Don't test my capability and will to take everything from you," he whispered hatefully against her bottom lip. "Because I have the conscience to do exactly that."

"You have no conscience," Joelle hissed back quietly with narrowed eyes. Tom mirrored this action before he grabbed the back of her head, ripped her off of the chair and threw her onto the bed next to the table. Just before Joelle could jump back up, Tom was already on top of her, pinning her down with angry kisses, feeling up her struggling self below him. His hand roamed around his prey, he started to rip open parts of Joelle's clothes. He was possessed, heard no more, heard nothing. But he heard a name.

"MARVOLO!" Joelle yelped under hysterical tears. "You wouldn't! You're NOT like him!"

Tom stopped. He stared at Joelle, into her eyes. He looked around, then to her thighs, saw the loose pieces of fabric, saw her trembling body, saw the fear in her eyes - and that slight bit of innocence he found fascinating ever since he met her as a child. _You're not like him_.

Joelle was right. Tom was not like John. Tom did not have to resolve to this. He was so much better than that. He inhaled deeply, taking in Joelle's scent, then got up and waved his wand. Both Joelle and Tom watched how her clothes magically mended back together, but none of them said a single word during this. After a good while, Tom rested back down and pulled Joelle closer, looking at her. And she looked back.

"I have a surprise for you tomorrow," Tom said gently before kissing her forehead, whispering against it. "You will be the happiest person."


	38. A Journey Starts

**Chapter 38: A Journey Starts**

"Take me with you. For laughs, for luck, for the unknown. Take me with you." Peter S. Beagle in: The Last Unicorn

Another morning came. A day that should be different than all the others. Joelle blinked her eyes open first, glancing at Tom next to her who was still asleep. She couldn't exactly remember the last time she was up before him, but it must've been somewhen in his childhood when he had sneaked into Mrs. Cole's office at night and just stayed with Joelle despite not having brought a blanket. Joelle smiled to herself at the memory. Tom used to be so cute.

"Good morning," said Tom, even though his eyes were closed. He probably heard her shifting around.

"Good morning," said Joelle softly. How likely was it that she would ever greet Tom with a good morning after they had parted those years ago? Joelle glanced at him when he opened his eyes and looked at her. Something in Joelle wanted to start a conversation - she was scared of silence around Tom. Silence gave him too much room to plan and plot, it suffocated Joelle and made her nervous, but she couldn't think of anything to dissolve it. Her heart began to beat faster, she felt stressed before the day even started. What could she tell Tom, the person who was close to rape her yesterday night? What could she ask when she knew he never answered anything? Joelle glanced to the left and right in attempts to find a topic when suddenly a low chuckle from the back of Tom's throat filled the small cottage in which the scent of warm wood was lingering.

"Why so tense?" He asked.

"I'm not," Joelle lied. Tom's amused expression vanished, probably upon realizing that he wasn't confronted with honesty - one of many things he loathed. He sat up. Joelle clawed on the blanket insecurely, expecting Tom to leash out on her any given moment, but he merely glanced at her from the corners of his eyes, his mouth slowly twitching into a faint smirk before he got up. He was aware of the impact he had on her. The early sunlight hit his pale bare chest as he strode over to the wardrobe, throwing Joelle some clothes before he picked his own.

"You can dress up here," said Tom in a monotonous voice when he, despite not turning around to Joelle saw how she was on her way into the bathroom. Joelle scowled. "I don't think so."

"It wouldn't be the first time I see you naked," said Tom unimpressed while fixing his collar, turning around, not taking his eyes off of Joelle as soon as their gazes locked. "In fact, it wouldn't even be the second time."

"Wait, what?" Joelle asked in surprise, even though the heat of embarrassment and shame crawled up from her toes to her very forehead. When did he see her? She glanced over to Tom, who was now twisting his sleeves to the proper direction, still bold and and unimpressed.

"I am not thinking about our little night of passion in the bathroom that day," he said colorlessly, turning around to close the door of the wardrobe. "I saw you in the forest years ago, when you and Bryan decided to swim in a nearby lake."

"Marvolo!" Joelle gasped. "That is beyond-"

"Childish curiosity. My point is that you should get used to undressing in front of me," said Tom somberly, turning around to look at Joelle, as if he expected her to strip here and now.

"Oh, should I?" Joelle asked sarcastically.

"Indeed."

"I don't think I should," Joelle scowled again, then simply vanished behind the bathroom door. If Joelle liked one thing about Tom it would be that he was never really driven by lust, he always had enough poise to keep himself from ripping down her clothes. Even though yesterday night made Joelle believe that Tom merely bottled things up. He could possibly attack sooner or later, and perhaps she wouldn't get away with just telling him that he was not like John. Joelle sighed. It was another thing to worry about. She took her time, checking each wrinkle on the fabric that covered her body. As soon as she was certain that staying in the bathroom for a little longer would cause Tom to assume she was hiding from him, which she probably did, Joelle walked out. Tom stood where he was, leaning against the wall ever so casually. He decorated the room with his raw and elegant coolness.

Gasp.

With a swift flick of Tom's wand, Joelle stood in the cottage stripped off of the clothes for which she had taken the past twenty minutes to put on. She scowled at Tom.

"How DARE you, Marvolo!" outraged, Joelle grabbed the clothes from the ground, pressing them to her almost nude body.

"Just showing you my idea of getting used to dressing up in front of me. I didn't like yours," said Tom almost bored, but still with a mocking undertone. This action is to not be misunderstood as flirting or sexual harassment. No. This was straight business, nothing else. It was a matter of principles. Tom told Joelle to do something - he saw to it that she did it. He was a professional when it came to asserting dominance.

Joelle merely dressed up without another comment even though her mood sank drastically. Tom waved his wand, the effect of what he did was not clear on an instant because he started walking closer to Joelle, but then Joelle could faintly see how her worn clothes magically gathered up. She thought Tom was about to kiss her when he stood right in front, but instead he fixed her cleavage part by pulling it a bit up so that it would be less revealing. Wherever they would go now, Tom must expect to be in male company. Or maybe this, too, was just a matter of principles. Their eyes met. Tom stared at Joelle, rubbing along her hips and tucked at the end of her blouse. He was a perfectionist, after all. Once pleased, he turned around and handed her a plate with a sandwich. Joelle didn't realize how hungry she was until now. They sat down at the small table.

"So...how long do you think it takes for my magical signature to fully develop?" Joelle asked.

"That depends. The more magical input, the better. You have proven to be rather talented when it comes to learning new techniques. That cuts us some time," Tom said, sipping on his tea the next moment. But Joelle was not satisfied. How could he be so sure about those things?

"What exactly happens after you believe my magical signature to have fully fleshed out?" Joelle asked.

"Can't you think of what will happen?" Tom asked in return. He expected Joelle to look away, but strange enough, she didn't when she said "you will bind our souls. But how exactly is that supposed to work?"

Tom observed her. His mouth was in a straight line.

"It's a dark ceremony. A ritual. You will see when we get there," Tom smirked lightly. He knew that it would make Joelle nervous. And couldn't deny that he liked it. But Joelle didn't appear to be nervous at all. And he understood why.

"And once you've bound our souls...you will create another Horcrux by killing somebody. When you split your soul, that is put into an object in order to gain immortality, you believe that I, too, will be immortal. Thus, the both of us will be earthbound forever."

Tom looked at Joelle intensively. She had remembered his plans and could follow - he was almost impressed. But that wasn't the only reason for his intense glance. No, if Joelle knew that he would kill, he knew that his Joelle would try anything to prevent it. Tom couldn't suppress the slight twitch coming from his lower eyelids; they narrowed. He was no fool. And neither was Joelle. Her compliance was nothing but preparation to stand in his way - and he was aware. What they had, for a good while now, was a race. And Tom wanted to win. Confident as Tom was, he knew he had to be careful. Joelle wasn't an easy opponent. She just had different tactics.

"But that all is just theory, isn't it? Isn't it risky? What if the both of us will die?" Joelle frowned. Tom chuckled. Silly. Just a second ago he almost felt threatened by Joelle and her quick glow of insight. But that simple question showed the true impact of her nativity. She was still hoping. Hoping that it was just a theory.

"I had years to research on that specific topic, Joelle." Maybe this way she would see that it was pointless to fight him any longer.

"When will you finally stop trying?" Tom asked. Joelle raised an eyebrow, responding that way.

"You're trying to change my mind. And you think I wouldn't notice."

"What have I said that makes you believe that?" Joelle asked intelligently, but in such a controlled way that allowed Tom the conclusion that he was right. Not that he doubted it in the first place.

"It's not what you have said. It's what I see. Your secrets are transparent to me, my dear." He pointed to his forehead. "I have been very honest with you in the past."

"Which you believe justifies claiming my secrets as honesty in return, I assume," Joelle fixed Tom with her eyes intensively, what she said beheld a sharp accusation. But more so, it beheld the truth. Tom grinned. He liked her controlled temper. Despite Joelle being soft and kind on the outside, she was still her firm self, just more cautious.

"I don't like you roaming around in my mind," Joelle then said. "What I decide to tell you should be my choice, not yours."

"You are right. I claim your secrets as mine, in return for my honesty with you."

"It's not a secret that I'm not fond of sharing my forever with you, there is no reason to check what I'm thinking," Joelle said through gritted teeth, now leaning closer across the table. "And you are not being honest with me at all."

"I am not?" Tom chuckled. "I think I am."

"Then what about that thing in the cellar? You didn't tell me what it was. Why did you all even sit in the cellar - you, your gang, what were you doing? You said not a word. You said I came on time for a show that I wasn't allowed to see."

"I have told you that I would take care of everything. And right now that's exactly what I'm doing. I focus on what's important. You should do the same."

"What do you feel for me, Marvolo?" Joelle suddenly asked, looking out of the window. What does a person feel for another when they go as far as Tom? Silence danced around them again. Beautiful, mocking silence. Just when Joelle was sure that Tom would not bother to even recognize her question, she was surprised when he spoke.

"How cute." He said degradingly and leaned back, grinning before he got up. Of course. "Enough silliness. Let's go."

Joelle did not respond. She just looked at Tom with somewhat of an expression that told him that she understood something else. Let's not be silly, Joelle thought. She hated herself for asking this question, even though it still gave her an awful amount of insight. Tom's answer almost pained her. But only almost.

"Where are we going first?" Joelle asked. Tom glanced at her. "There are places I haven't been to before. Which means we will travel by train."

"The train?" Joelle frowned. She didn't expect this. "Isn't that so not magical?" She asked somewhat sarcastically.

"Right you are. But the feeling of travel, of journey is something most beautiful, wouldn't you agree?"

Joelle nodded.

"The train rides to Hogwarts have always beheld a special feeling. To ride across the country, knowing it takes you to places others haven't been to before. But alas, my journey was a little tainted by your continuous absence," Tom murmured, still walking up the hill. Joelle wondered about this private and sincere insight on Tom's emotional environment. He never let down his guard. Emotions made Tom vulnerable - and Joelle admitted to believe that Tom felt very one dimensional. Perhaps she knew less of him than she thought she did, but to mention Tom and feelings in the same sentence was a strange thought. Tom pulled her closer. The both of them were now on top of a tall, green hill, towering above all the others. This alone would've been enough for Joelle, but Tom grasped her hand and reached down to what looked like an abandoned bottle of wine; just before Joelle could compliment Tom's care for environment, thinking he would want to throw it away, she felt forced through time and space. The world spun for Joelle. She saw nothing, the pictures rotated and turned, her body flew and fell right into Tom's arms just seconds later.

They had landed somewhere. Joelle looked sick when her eyes next showed her a train station she has never seen before. Tom still held her in his arms, but he put her down on her feet the other second. He was amused.

"You have to learn how to control your body."

"I, have to-!" Joelle hissed, but Tom pressed his hand onto her mouth. "Shh. Not so loud. Someone like you shouldn't try to draw any attention to themselves."

"Someone like me?" Joelle asked with a scowl once she spitefully pulled away from Tom's hand.

"You don't want people to recognize your face, do you, main defendant?" Tom asked.

"Then why don't you simply change my looks with a spell? I'm sure you can do that." Joelle crossed her arms.

"Of course I can," Tom said dryly. Joelle seemed to be a little confused when he just stared at her, but that's when she understood it. While she looked like herself, she was dependent on Tom. How, she wondered, but the answer was too easy. If Joelle ran away looking like herself, she might soon be attacked and arrested. Tom made sure that she had to stay. If he changed her looks, he would give her the protection she needed to make a successful escape. He couldn't take the risk of losing her. Tom waved his wand at Joelle's head. A black, fashionable hat appeared. "You will look like anyone else with this."

"I hate hats," Joelle sighed.

"You dislike being a lady lately," said Tom smoothly, linking his arm with Joelle's, ignoring her low muttering under her breath.

"You haven't exactly been a gentleman to me either," she said. Tom grinned, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. He was wearing a dark suit - and hell and heaven forbid Joelle to admit that he was the epitome of handsomeness.

And there it was, it took over Joelle. The air of adventure was suddenly lingering around. They got on the train, finding their own spots to themselves. Joelle sat by the window while Tom was next to her.

"Have you travelled before?" Tom asked. "To other countries?"

Joelle thought a little, then shook her head. "No, never. We travelled a lot across the country when my mother was still alive. She loved journeys. We would sometimes wander around for hours and have a picnic somewhere." Joelle smiled in what Tom interpreted as longing when she looked back at him. "I don't have a single picture of that time. We didn't think that those times could ever be over. I'm sure my mother thought that tomorrow she can take a picture. Like so many, we thought to be immortal."

Tom listened to what Joelle said. He enjoyed those conversations with her. He leaned back and thought about her words. Of course it couldn't be denied that the part about immortality is what made him most curious. He looked out of the window. Those people, do they ever spend a thought on death?

"We are moving," said Joelle when the engine started. And soon, their journey has begun.

"Tell me more about your childhood," said Tom after a while. Joelle turned around to him. "You probably know everything about it anyway, don't you?" She raised an eyebrow. Tom's lips curled up into a slight grin. "I've tried to find out everything l could."

"Shock me," said Joelle, chuckling.

"The first of October 1921, when you were born, was a Saturday. You were born around four in the afternoon. I checked weather records. It was a warm day of autumn."

Joelle stared at Tom, her lips parted.

"When I visited your former school and charmed the head mistress enough to show me the files, l saw your grades. You were a very ambitious student. It appears that you have enjoyed art classes most."

Joelle still started at Tom with her lips parted. "This is unbelievable..."

"Do you need more?" Tom asked.

"No, the question is why do you need more," said Joelle in a tone that made it uncertain whether or not she wanted an answer. Tom had done most of his homework.

"You know everything about me and my childhood," said Tom simply.

"I know nothing of the time after," Joelle looked out of the window again.

"Which is not my fault," Tom murmured with a scowl on his face that Joelle could see through the window.

"I'm not so sure about the not your fault part," Joelle glanced at him. "It's not that easy, you know. You and l were children. Somewhat..." Joelle sighed. Tom was already so grown up back then.

"Boy or girl?" Tom suddenly asked. Joelle almost didn't hear his question as her eyes followed the trees.

"What do you mean?" She asked absentmindedly.

"Would you prefer to have a boy or girl?" Tom asked again. Joelle frowned, almost hastily spinning around to him. "Where does that question come from?" Her eyes watched how Tom played around with the fabric of her collar. He sat very close to her, an arm leaning along the seat behind her.

"Where that question comes from?" Tom almost chuckled. "I don't remember using a spell for protection that night," he whispered. Joelle's eyes danced between his, as if to make sure he was either sane or really saying this. Perhaps both.

"I am," she started inhaling deeply, her voice turning harsher. "NOT pregnant, if that's what you're trying to say!"

Tom stared at her expressionlessly. Joelle just shook her head in disbelief, turning back to the window with a scowl that saw in the window's reflection.

"You didn't answer my question," he murmured in amusement. Joelle tilted her head to the side, looking over her shoulder before she stiffly turned to watch the scenery again. "Men are primitive," she said bitterly. "I grew up believing that I will marry a gentleman, and that I will live a happy life when I do. I haven't stumbled across a gentleman yet. I'm not sure if I want my daughter to find out the same depressing truth. It seems like being a man is a lot easier."

"I expected to hear this," Tom said, tucking some strands of hair away. He leaned in to kiss the tender spot next to the back of her ear, then whispered, "but it's not easier."

"What about you?" Joelle then asked, turning around to him.

"It does not matter to me," he said, staring into Joelle's eyes. And Joelle felt sick to her stomach. Was she talking to Tom about children? She felt nauseated, shaking her head, almost aggressively looking back to stare out of the window. She didn't turn around for the next two hours.

"Joelle. Wake up. You need to eat something," whispered a voice. Joelle raised her head lazily, eyes half closed. She must've fallen asleep at some point. Her eyes turned over to a silver tray with two plates filled with dinner. It was already turning dark outside, the sky was died in a beautiful orange color, allowing the black silhouettes of the trees to show. She took the plate that Tom handed over to her. It was some kind of vegetable casserole that smelled forbiddingly good. Joelle didn't know why, but the atmosphere calmed her down despite the fact that none other than Tom Riddle sat next to her and quietly observed her, then rubbed her thigh gently before he started to eat.

"When will we be there?" Joelle asked.

"Two or three hours," said Tom. "We should sleep until then," he then got up and pulled down the curtains to cover the windows, ignoring Joelle's low grumble because she was still watching the scene curiously while she ate.

"Can you finally tell me where we are actually going?" Joelle then asked when Tom took the empty plates and put them back on the silver tray, only to get up and put them somewhere out of their train compartment. He stretched up and grabbed blankets and pillows that he cleaned with his wand despite them looking fresh as they were. He put a pillow between the wall and Joelle instead of handing it to her; as if he wanted to control even how she would sleep. Draping the blanket over her body, he looked into her eyes. Joelle had given up on the hope of receiving an answer, but Tom then said "Italy."

"Italy?"

"Venice in particular."

"Venice?"

"Are you a parrot?" Tom asked. Joelle shook her head in confusion. Venice seemed like a place to visit for a honeymoon vacation, but she did not word those thoughts, not wanting to give Tom any room to make another drastic decision.

When Joelle woke up a bit later, the train had already stopped moving. Now that she recalled it, she was sure that the loud sound of the breaks was what woke her up in the first place. Tom wasn't asleep anymore, he was dressed up in fresh clothes and stared at her. Joelle wondered why he hadn't told her to get up, but the answer came with his next words.

"You look very peaceful when you're asleep. I did not want to disturb you. Come on. We still have to travel a bit." Tom held his hand out to Joelle. She took it. Before they left he adjusted her hat, staring into her eyes before they walked off at last.

Joelle was about to follow the rest of the people that walked outside and over to a port, but Tom pulled Joelle with him, aiming towards a single gondola. Joelle thought this was strange because the water was full of boats with roofs and seats; but that single gondola had a mysterious aura as it slightly moved up and down in the water, something like a purple fog floating around it under the starry sky. Joelle glanced over to the other people that vanished into their boats. None of them stole a glance. Did they not see the gondola? Nobody was in the there, but as soon as Tom pulled Joelle in, she understood why. It magically moved on its own accord, along the water, into the opposite direction of the rest of the boats. They soon left the cityscape behind, getting deeper and deeper into the greens. Willow trees surrounded them.

Joelle knew the gondola would take her into yet another new world, into the beginning of their very first adventure.


	39. For Laughs

Chapter 39: For Laughs

"Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left. And laughing feels better right now." Veronica Roth in: Divergent.

Tom and Joelle were still gliding on the water in the gondola. The moonlight now shone down on them, the starry sky revealed all its beauty, but it wasn't until fireflies ahead of them that Joelle felt shivers throughout her body. Despite this being a terrestrial phenomenon, the air felt enchanted, a moment too beautiful to be anything else but magic.

Tom observed Joelle curiously, his sharp gaze not allowing her to move out of his attention, but that was when the mysterious purple fog stopped circling around them, only to form into a ball that steadily grew wider and physical, until it was a floating black lantern that lit up. Tom grabbed it, and soon they arrived at the shore. It wasn't a port like the one at the train station, it was tiny and a bit sandy, ahead of them was a dark forest. The whole scene seemed absurd to Joelle, but Tom indeed planned on this being their destination. Tom helped Joelle out of the rocking gondola that started moving backwards as soon as they were out, silvery nebula swallowing it. And then it was gone. It was just Tom and Joelle now, them and the darkness that was interrupted by the moonlight and the lantern that Tom held to light the way.

"Come," said Tom while taking Joelle's hand. He began to lead the way.

"I don't want to go through that forest," Joelle whispered, instinctively pressing herself closer to Tom who just glanced at her. "There's no need to be afraid."

"I'm not so sure about that," Joelle frowned. "Those sounds are scary."

"It's just the howling of the wind," said Tom, walking on. Joelle scowled at him, how could he be so fearless all the time?

"You are a witch. And I am a wizard. We are so much better than whatever awaits us in that forest. Keep that in mind. Nothing can harm us," said Tom. The air was a bit chilly, but not enough to be unbearable. Not knowing where they were headed was worse.

"Death can harm us," Joelle suddenly spoke. "I don't think death makes a difference between anyone. Death welcomes us all the same."

"Death welcomes those too weak to conquer it. It won't even knock on our door, for it'll remain closed," Tom looked at her.

"What if death finds a key?"

"Then I shall find another lock."

Silence.

Joelle and Tom kept on walking for about half an hour before something in the distance came into sight. It was an old half-timbered house, Joelle guessed that it was an inn or a motel. Whatever it was, Joelle guessed that that's where they would stay for a while.

"Didn't you say that we will return to that cottage in Ireland?" Joelle asked. Tom glanced down to her, but he did not respond. He walked ahead and opened the rusty door that creaked loudly. The house was dark inside, no lights, the place seemed to be abandoned. It smelled old and woody, dust flew up with each step they took. It was a strange thing to be here. Tom walked on ahead, over to what looked like a bigger door, decorated with a golden lock. Just when Joelle was about to ask what was going on, Tom pulled out his wand and said. "Alohomora."

The lock dissolved into nothingness. Tom pushed the door open, and the first thing that Joelle did was pressing the side of her hand to her forehead to cover her eyes, for bright orange light was almost blinding her. Her eyes twinkled. People dressed in the same type of clothing she has seen those years ago were walking happily along what looked like a market street. The ground was bricked and brown and all orange due to floating paper lanterns; a feeling of coziness invaded Joelle's body. It was beautiful. Despite it being late in the evening, the place was rather crowded, Joelle couldn't help herself but to stare for a while, but it wasn't until she glanced up to Tom that she noticed him watching her intensively as well, possibly been doing that the moment they stepped in the world of venetian magic.

"It looks enchanting," Joelle whispered. Tom nodded, glancing ahead for but a moment, then wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked along.

"Tell me, tell me already. Why are we here?" Joelle asked. Tom shook his head at her. "You're so impatient."

"You would be!"

"But I am not."

Joelle crossed her arms, looking away to make a point, but she smiled brightly when they passed by a tall man with a red cloak and a red hat, offering a skewer to her. It was full of something that looked like little chocolates. The man said something in Italian that Joelle did not understand, but her smile seemed to satisfy the wizard enough. He took off his hat and bowed from the far distance while Joelle looked at the candy in her hand, eyes twinkling with joy. Tom was about to rip the skewer out of her hand, but being too slow he just scowled when he watched Joelle stuffing whatever chocolate it was right into her mouth. And then Joelle yelped. Tom had to stop abruptly when tears shot out of her eyes and she spit the chocolate out in a more secluded alley.

"Silly girl!" Tom scolded when Joelle cried, spitting out the rest of the chocolate.

"What is it, where does it hurt?!" Tom hissed, but Joelle was too busy crying, something must've caused her an immense amount of pain; needless to say that it came from the candy she had just received. Tom stood there, watching Joelle as she tried to catch her breath, leaning against the wall in exhaustion.

"You're like a child. You can't just put things into your mouth that people give you on the streets," Tom said, standing right in front of her. Joelle looked up to him with round and glossy eyes, then down to the sprawled out chocolates. Tom sighed. Joelle could sometimes be so naive it wasn't even pleasant. He grabbed her hand and walked off, seeing how Joelle eyed up the skewer on the ground as if she expected it to jump up and attack. Tom chuckled to himself; it was a silent and content vibration coming from the back of his throat upon the thought of he being the one teaching Joelle just the same she did when he was younger.

"We are going to stay here for a few days and learn more about magic," Tom said. "I have a surprise for you. It's going to take place tomorrow evening. For now we are going to a hotel."

"Oh, a hotel," Joelle frowned. "Quite Fancy for someone who doesn't have a job, how do you pay that?"

"Don't worry yourself over money," said Tom, pulling Joelle closer when they passed by yet another man handing out chocolate skewers to people. "Everything is taken care of," he whispered, then pointed ahead to a large and beautiful cream colored facility decorated with white pilasters and a generous entrance. Joelle frowned, but Tom smugly ignored her expression of surprise. Before they walked in, however, Tom stood in front of Joelle, adjusting her hat. He still had to make sure that nobody would recognize her too easily.

"Don't talk," he murmured. Joelle didn't nod, she didn't believe it was necessary since Tom has already taken her hand, a charming smile embellishing his face as he walked inside and over to the dark haired female receptionist. She was rather young, around Joelle's age, and she responded with the same bright smile, only hers didn't seem to be fake. Joelle glanced around again. The interior was all champaign colored and decorated with a marbled floor, a large comfortable but forbiddingly expensive looking couch with golden feet and shiny round cushions was to her right, large creamy curtains and shiny vases and sparkling accents were spread around everywhere.

"I would like to check in with my wife, I called a couple of days ago. The name is Black," Tom said. The receptionist's bright smile seemed a little less at the sound of Tom being married, and even Joelle couldn't help but frown herself. Not only was the thought of being married to Tom absurd, but Tom also seems to use Black's name in order to travel. Perhaps Tom even had access to their money. Joelle overheard years ago that Black came from a wealthy family.

"Yes, of course, Mr. Black," said the woman more professionally than before. "Your room is ready. Enjoy your honeymoon," she smiled and handed over two golden keys. This time her smile was fake, and she threw Joelle somewhat of a sour look. And Joelle responded to it just the same.

Venice. Honeymoon.

"So, darling," Joelle raised an eyebrow, linking her arm with Tom's as they walked upstairs. "I must've missed the ceremony, but did I say yes, I do?"

"You did," said Tom emotionlessly. "I took a shortcut."

"You take a lot of shortcuts," Joelle mumbled under her breath, her eyes glancing to the round lights at the edges of the floor.

"So, when will he be here?" Joelle asked.

Tom looked at her.

"Black, of course. Were you his best man? I'm sure he was so happy when I became Mrs. Black."

Tom glanced at Joelle, his mouth didn't twitch, but she could tell that he wasn't very amused about the perspective of sharing her. He stopped walking, and just when Joelle was sure that he would do something to her, he turned to the door and unlocked it.

"Ladies first," he murmured. Joelle grinned and stepped inside. The room was too much. A white carpet was spread on the floor, a wide bed with generous and fancy covers and lots of pillows was sitting against the wall to their right, the tall arched window front with the creamy curtains and gold threaded tassels was right to their eyes view. Two red roses were spread on the bed; a bottle of champaign with a red ribbon around it and a card, as Joelle read once she stepped over, read "congratulations, enjoy your stay,". Joelle's coat hung halfway across her shoulders on her elbows, she was too perplex to take it off completely, but Tom was already behind her, gently pulling it from her body. The sudden warmth and closeness behind her caused her to shiver, resulting in walking away from Tom. She put her hat down, then stepped over to the tall window front. Her eyes swept over to the crowded street below them, the orange paper lanterns floating around. Joelle shook her head and smiled to herself in disbelief. The world was such a crazy place.

"It's late, Joelle. Let's sleep," Tom interrupted. Something about his tone was odd, and Joelle wondered if it had something to do with her comment about Black earlier. She turned around and frowned when she realized that she had to dress into her nightwear first. Tom seemed to wait on that, he was already sitting on the edge of the bed with his bare chest, a light grin creeping up his lips. He leaned further back with his arms outstretched behind, supporting his weight. Joelle narrowed her eyes when Tom waved his wand and the curtains closed. They fixed each other with their gazes. A few more seconds passed. Now it was just them and the dim orange light somewhere in the back of the room reflecting on Joelle's naked skin as she slowly began to strip off with something like confidence. Joelle was almost provokingly looking into Tom's eyes that took every bit of herself in, lips slightly parted. They both stared at each other, and Joelle was sure that this moment, right here, right now, was the most intense they have ever had.

Joelle laid down after putting on her nightgown, turning her back on Tom, whom she felt scooting closer to her from behind.

"Such intensity, yet she throws me away like nothing," he purred. Joelle glanced over her shoulder, shuddering when Tom's warm breath hit the nape of her neck. His hand rested on her stomach.

"What are you doing..." Joelle asked rhetorically as he began to circle his thumb around.

"Remember, it's our honeymoon..." Tom purred.

"I am married to Mr. Black. Last time I checked, you are Mr. Riddle,"

"Are you sure? Perhaps you should ask the receptionist to check again," Tom whispered with an audible smirk to his voice.

"That woman wouldn't have cared what your name is."

"Now, now..." Tom chuckled, pulling Joelle's shoulder towards him so that she had no other choice but to turn around as he instantly sneaked his hand under her, pulling her into his arms. "You won't tell me you're jealous, will you?"

"I won't," Joelle huffed, her eyes swept up to an amused Tom. "I am not," she emphasized," jealous."

Tom grinned.

"Stop it, Marvolo. You're being ridiculous," Joelle hissed. Tom chuckled, kissed her forehead, then rested his chin on the crown of her head, closing his eyes. He held her tightly to his body, the orange light slowly dying out. "Good night."

"I am not jealous."

"Good night, Joelle."

The next morning was quite pleasant. The sun shone through the curtains and lit up the room, but it was the scent of oranges that woke Joelle up. When she opened her eyes, Tom was sitting at the table with the recent newspapers as she guessed, tilting them over to see that Joelle was up.

"Joelle, dear. Come and have breakfast," he said. Joelle instantly noticed how he sounded like he had a great morning. Joelle got up, noticing how warm the room felt despite it having been quite chilly yesterday night. She sat down at the table that was filled with all kinds of things to eat. Tom's plate was empty; he hasn't yet started. A knock on the door caused both of them to glance over, Tom folded his newspapers back and put them aside. Joelle frowned when she noticed it was written in Italian and she made a mental note to ask if he knew the language, but instantly forgot about that when she heard a voice she has heard before.

"Here, Mr. Black. I personally made sure the waffles are warm this time," smiled a woman. It was the receptionist from yesterday night.

"Thank you, Patricia," said Tom, smiling gently before closing the door.

"Patricia," Joelle repeated with a raised eyebrow. "A receptionist who's also serving food. One would guess a rich hotel like this has enough staff to pay."

Tom smirked as he sipped on his hot coffee. And Joelle scowled at herself. No, she wasn't jealous, she just didn't like that woman. And it was okay not to like people, for no apparent reason, wasn't it?

Joelle growled to herself. No, it was not okay, and she was frustrated with herself. She was weak. Perhaps, yes, she began to become insane. Tom was the only person she truly communicated with, her only source of interaction, was it not human to be scared of being stripped off of that? When exactly has she become so dependent on Tom? She didn't know. But she knew she would stop it, if only she knew how.

"Eat," said Tom. And Joelle shook her head, letting the bubble of thoughts explode, then started to eat.

"If she's also the cook, we should tell her that it tastes quite good," Joelle said. Tom looked at Joelle in silence, they stared at each other for a while, and together they couldn't help but laugh.


	40. For Luck

**Chapter 40: For Luck**

 _Luck is where opportunity meets preparation_ \- Seneca

"You know, despite it being somewhat around August, the air smells rather fresh," said Joelle, walking next to Tom through the forest. "It's obvious that fall is knocking on the door."

"Your favorite season, isn't it?" Tom asked. Joelle nodded, a part of her was surprised about the many details Tom was able to keep in his head about her.

"The bright colors are gorgeous. And I love the scent of an early morning sunrise, when the orange light shines through the fog and breathes in life for the day," Joelle said.

"Fall is the season in which everything dies," said Tom, but Joelle shook her head. "Fall is the season that prepares for a new beginning. We just have to be a little patient and enjoy the process of change. Fall allows us to start over new again."

Tom looked at Joelle when she said the last few words. Very intensively, and very clearly. Words were no longer necessary to describe what Tom thought of at this moment, right when Joelle said what she said. Joelle cleared her throat and looked away, up to the leafs. They seemed ready to change. Was she ready, too?

Silence, their old friend embraced them once more. Silence, Joelle thought, was very powerful, always knowing when it's best to show up. What did the two of them have? What was okay? What was not? Was it okay to admit that still, after so many years, that still, after everything that has happened, he did mean something, just a tiny little something to her? Tom used to be Joelle's best friend back then. He had saved her when she needed help most. Something like that does something between two people.

"Where are we going anyway?" Joelle then asked.

"Here," Tom handed over something. It was Joelle's wand. She smiled once her hand wrapped around the long piece of wood, feeling the magic pulsing through her veins. Joelle liked that feeling, it made her feel connected.

"So what now?" She asked excitedly and glanced up. But Tom was gone. Joelle frowned and looked every which way, not understanding. She peeked around the trees, figuring that perhaps Tom had to relieve his bladder.

"Really, couldn't you have gone in the hotel?" Joelle sighed, crossing her arms and waited patiently. But nothing happened for the next few minutes. Joelle realized that she was alone. Tom was nowhere, did not step back around any of the trees. He was gone.

"Marvolo?" Joelle asked in a serious tone. "Where are you?" She looked around a bit nervously now. She was in the middle of a forest, far away from the hotel, not knowing how to get back by herself. "This isn't funny!" She yelled, then glanced at her wand. Was there any way to get him back through magic?

Joelle stared at her wand, desperately flicking it as if she expected this to be a proper spell to cast magic, but of course nothing happened. She tried it again and again, glancing to the tip as if to see a tiny bit of magic flowing from it- but nothing. A growl of frustration escaped her lips while she shook the wand again, pointing it towards a tree, and then gasped at the sight ahead of her. The wand instantly fell into the leafs. She froze to the spot. She couldn't move, couldn't budge, Joelle was a living statue.

"Hello, Joelle. Long time no see, my dear," a voice cooed, making the hair on Joelle's neck stand up. Styled blond hair shone in the silvery fog around the tree, cold eyes and a firm jaw pointed at Joelle who was paralyzed from angst. In front of her, leaning against the tree, stood none other than John Lawrence.

"How, how could you, how-" Joelle stammered and managed walked backwards, shaking her head. "Marvolo!" She shrieked. "MARVOLO!"

But no Marvolo came. Joelle's heart beat rapidly against her chest. Boom. Boom. Boom. She frantically looked for the wand on the ground while John's cold laughter thrusted into her consciousness. He has not yet moved, he was still leaning against the tree as if he knew that he would get Joelle anytime - and Joelle, after having had enough experience with the man knew that she could not run fast enough. She never could.

He began to walk closer.

"STAY AWAY! STAY AWAY!" She cried out in raw panic. Boom. Boom. Boom. Her heart almost jumped out of her mouth, her breathing got shorter, she felt it thinning out, more and more. John laughed.

"Didn't think I would find you, hm? It was so easy. Oh, hey, where are you going?" He asked amused when, at last, Joelle's legs seemed to work again. She had the wand grasped around her hand firmly as she ran, her weight almost giving in, shaky muscles causing her to sway against trees and stumble over roots. And John was right on her heels.

"No, NO! MARVOLO! MARVOLO HELP!" Joelle screamed with a raspy throat, feeling the physical contact behind her drawing closer - John almost had her. Joelle's legs gave in at last, she crashed down into the wet leafs, instantly turning over to crawl backwards. She desperately raised her wand at John, but the latter merely laughed again. Joelle cried hysterically.

"Your wand!" A voice shouted from behind. "Use your wand!"

Tom. Joelle did not know where he was, but the wand merely fell out of her shaky hand again. She didn't see when it happened nor how, but within the next second, Tom was beside her, swiftly waving his wand ahead. John disappeared into nothingness; was gone. She cried against his chest, panicked and hiccuping, trying to tell him everything, but it only came out as inaudible gibberish.

"Joelle. He was just a boggart, calm down," Tom whispered, but Joelle didn't hear him, she looked around frantically. "Where is he?!" She shrieked again.

"Not here. He wasn't real. It was a boggart."

Joelle stared at Tom when he said that, she didn't understand, but she knew that she had to stop moving in order to comprehend what was going on. Her eyebrows twitched together.

"A boggart," Tom stared upon her confused face. "Is a creature that will turn into what you fear most. I wanted you to train with it-"

"You...what...?" Joelle asked breathlessly, pushing away from Tom.

"I wanted you to become stronger," said Tom with a firm and clear tone, it was as though he did not meet Joelle in her fear at all, he was cold and reserved, concentrated. And he was something that Joelle guessed to be disappointed; he was disappointed in her, yes, perhaps annoyed of her.

"I thought you would do better. All you do is sob and scream for help. You're weak," Tom then said, his cold eyes stared into hers. Joelle bit her bottom lip in attempts not to cry or yell. Five minutes ago she was under the impression that her worst nightmare came for her, but it was Tom, for whom she called out, Tom causing her such fear. Before he could say yet another word, a loud CLASP echoed throughout the silent forest. Joelle didn't have a large hand, but the whole size of it was a red imprint on Tom's cheek. His face turned back to her slowly, eyes narrowed in destructive anger, but he was taken aback by the wand that was aimed at him, little red sparks coming from its tip.

"How low can you sink..." she hissed darkly. Tom's mouth was in a straight line until the corners of his lips twitched up. He smirked. "Go ahead," he murmured huskily, almost mocking, "curse me."

Joelle gritted her teeth. She didn't know any curses at all and the sheer will to hurt him wasn't enough to cause any more than a few more sparks erupting from the tip of her wand. Tom's smirk turned upside down, only now was it clear that he did not exactly wait on anything to happen, for he knew his Joelle would never be able to bring up enough hate to harm anyone. He ripped the wand out of her hand, then scooted over to her, resting against the tree like she did. Joelle's face was turned away from him, Tom stared up to the sky covered by the trees. He inhaled deeply, wanting to say something, but Joelle cut him off.

"Why him, out of all..." Joelle whispered.

"I did not know the boggart would turn into him."

"That's a lie," Joelle said, looking up to Tom. He only glanced at her when he knew he had no other choice.

"You above all would know what terrifies me the most," she said. Tom's expression remained unchanged. He did not respond, so Joelle went on. "And you forbade me to be trained in curses and-"

"I will never allow you to use dark magic," Tom suddenly growled.

"Then what did you expect to happen today?" Joelle shook her head in disbelief.

"There's more than curses to protect yourself with," Tom scowled. "Most witches and wizards are able to perform greatly when facing strong emotions."

"I've told you years ago that none of my magic ever worked when I was around John. He paralyzed me."

"And this was the right moment to overcome that, to defend yourself, to let your magic break through for once," Tom said. Joelle actually listened to his reasoning, then looked ahead, the scowl on her face vanishing. Did Tom merely want to help her? She glanced at him again, but he was busy observing her wand, twisting the wood in his fingers. "Too pure," he whispered to himself before he got up, holding his hand out to her. Joelle took it and Tom pulled her against himself. "I will bring back the boggart. He will return into John again-"

"No, no, please-"

"Face your fears. I will be here," Tom said sternly. But Joelle shook her head in reluctance, tears began to glisten in her eyes again.

"Ridikkulus is the most common spell used to be rid of a boggart. You'll have to imagine something funny and let the boggart turn into that instead, it won't be scary anymore."

"I wouldn't even know what to think of with John," said Joelle honestly. "Marvolo, please...I can't..."

"Hmm," Tom pursed his lips. "Well, perhaps now isn't the right time. We will come back to that soon. You should think about something meanwhile."

Joelle nodded, exhaling deeply. Tom pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. He knew what she needed now and he knew that giving her some warmth in a troubling time like this would be beneficial for him. It would draw her closer, make her a little more obedient.

"Are we going back to the hotel?" Joelle asked. Tom shook his head. "Oh, we aren't going back there at all," he whispered. Joelle frowned. "What do you mean?" She asked. "We've just been there for one night."

"We can't risk to stay anywhere for more than one day. We will be here to camp."

"Camp? In a tent?" Joelle asked stupidly. Tom didn't even bother giving her a response, he simply waved his wand and a small but big enough tent appeared. Joelle peeped her head inside; for some reason she expected this to look like something else, but in the end it was just an ordinary tent.

"There are enchanted tents that function like houses. Pretty little things, I couldn't come by one of those, however," said Tom, crawling into the tent after Joelle. "That would've had saved us the trouble of finding hotels and such. But Lestrange, that clumsy fool..." Tom gritted his teeth. Joelle didn't seem to understand but she didn't ask along.

"Are we just going to lay here?" Joelle asked. Tom nodded. "Until nightfall."

"What'll happen then?" Joelle asked insecurely, but Tom did not comment. Instead, he pulled her against his chest. "You need to trust me more, my dear."

"Because you're giving me all the reasons, right?" She grumbled. Tom chuckled. "Did you really think I would let him get to you?"

"I don't know, I didn't think. I thought perhaps he had been following us the whole time and that you're gone because he attacked you-"

"You think a muggle could hurt me?" Tom laughed. "You clearly don't know anything about me or what I'm capable of."

"Oh, I know more than you think," said Joelle grimly. "So what's your boggart?"

Tom's eyes narrowed, he looked away, not responding. Joelle sat up in front of him. "Not fair, you've seen what I'm scared of most, despite it being intimate, you didn't-"

"Take a look out of the tent," said Tom after waving his wand. When Joelle glanced over to the entrance, looking through, she let out a loud gasp, her hands clasped against her mouth. Over yonder she, Joelle, lay, eyes open and glassy, skin paler than the faintest shade of blue. Stiff and cold.

Tom's boggart was Joelle's corpse.

Joelle pulled her head back inside, looking at Tom with an expression that didn't allow her to say anything else but nothing.

"That's so romantic," she eventually said, breaking the deadly silence with something comical. Tom couldn't help but chuckle at her stupid comment, then got up and waved his wand again, letting the boggart disappear. Joelle didn't know how he did it, but it worked. Whatever Tom did, it always worked. They settled back down together and Joelle let her thoughts loop around, she wondered about many things. She wasn't surprised that the boggart had something to do with her, but she caught herself surprised that her death seemed to be what he feared most, made him vulnerable. It wasn't another man Tom saw her with, it wasn't Joelle running away. It was Joelle being gone forever.

"I..." Joelle stammered. She wanted to talk to him about this and something else that was connected to the topic, but Tom gave her a harsh glance.

"You will listen to me now, Marvolo," Joelle said sternly. It was in her typical melody from back then when Tom was still a child. It triggered something within him, good or bad he did not know.

"I don't want to hear it," he hissed. But Joelle glared. "Then again, you will!" She spat back. Tom sat up and glared at her.

"Don't make me hostile," he murmured. "Because that's how you do it."

"Just tell me why. Why do you not want to hear it? It's not even a long story, I don't know what you expect to hear-"

"Silliness is what I expect to hear. How could you leave me behind when you knew how important it was for me that you stay?!"

Joelle's heart beat faster, this was as close as she got to the topic being addressed.

"Marvolo," she started calmly, but Tom had already turned his face away. Joelle caught his hand, squeezing on it. "It was me who triggered your fascination for dark magic-"

"Pfshe," Tom grunted. "Is that what lovely Dumbledore told you?"

"You started reading all those things because you wanted to make sure that I stay. I know it, I wasn't blind just because I chose to look away for a very long time." Joelle squeezed Tom's hand a little tighter, but he pulled it away in spite as he looked into her eyes.

"Hear me out-"

"Silliness, just as expected," Tom murmured. "You're so naive. Are you really really under the impression that I wouldn't have picked up those books either way?"

"Yes. It is what I truly believe. I truly believe," she tried to catch his eyes.

"Then what on earth made you believe that it would stop when you leave me behind?!" Tom suddenly yelled, whirling around. Joelle wasn't sure how exactly it happened that Tom had those moments where he was completely calm, unshaken, not emotional the least, and then exploded like this, unpredictably and amazingly scary. Joelle backed away. But she had no answer.

"As you said, I'm naive," she whispered. "Maybe, yes, it was naive of me to think that when I'm gone, you would be able to focus. I admit that I was wrong, awfully wrong, but it's because I've always believed that you are truly just a child. I was wrong, Marvolo, but I just meant well. I always have," She rested her hand on her arm. Tom's strong and angry panting slowly calmed down.

"Dumbledore never agreed with me," Joelle suddenly said. Tom had to throw his head back in surprise, even his stoic expression was slightly stricken.

"He wanted me to stay. For you. He said that I am what keeps you sane. He said that things will be different in a few years, better. He made me an offer that was beyond anything I could have ever asked for," Joelle inhaled deeply. "He wanted me to become a student in my final year, he wanted to put me in Slytherin, wanted me to study with you, said I didn't have to graduate if I didn't want to, wanted to arrange everything. But I said-"

"No," Tom whispered. "You said no..."

Joelle was quiet, she lowered her head. Silence, silence was there again. Awful, mocking silence. Tom broke it with a cynical snort.

"Now I understand," he murmured. Joelle looked up to Tom in a manner that showed she was scared of what he would say next.

"You have come to realize what you've done. You have come to realize that everything would have been different had you not declined Dumbledore's offer back then. Yes, I understand. You are as guilty as I am. The murders wouldn't have happened. I can see it now, Joelle. That's why you're so compliant. You think you can make it better this way. Your confession is nothing but selfishness. You want to feel better after realizing you are as bad as I am."

Joelle's face paled. Tom read her clearly.

And he was right. About every single word he said, he was right.

"You know there is only one way to make it better. You have to face your destiny," he murmured and gently pushed her onto her back. Joelle looked up to him, he was lowering himself down next to her. Joelle glanced at him, but turned her face away again.

Joelle's confession was Tom's opportunity.


	41. For the Unknown

**Chapter 41: For the Unknown**

 _The devil, the proud spirit, cannot endure to be mocked_. - Thomas More

A gentle nudge on Joelle's shoulder caused her to wake up. She blinked her eyes open and saw that Tom was next to her. He had pulled her into his arms and appeared to be rather calm. Whatever the reason, he was mildly affectionate for some time and Joelle couldn't help but wonder where the catch was to that. She looked to him, then around. The tent was lit up by floating candles that didn't burn the fabric the least. It was dark outside.

"What is it?" She asked drowsily. "Why did you wake me up?"

"Come with me," said Tom and sat up. Joelle did the same, watching how he got out of the tent. She followed.

Joelle was surprised to see a dozen of glowing magenta blossoms around them as they walked. For a brief moment she thought that Tom had something to do with it, but when he said "they bloom at midnight," she knew better. The air felt enchanted again, she had almost forgotten that this forest was not ordinary. Despite it being late at nigh, silvery fog dancing around them, it wasn't cold the least. Joelle smiled to herself when she looked up, countless stars were painted on the dark blue sky.

Tom began to lead her ahead as he grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. They passed by a beautiful river that reflected the white moonlight glistening in it, the soft flow of the water was very calming. Passing by through a willow tree whose twigs Tom carefully brushed aside, Joelle's eyes widened when ahead of them was a large field and something she would have never dreamt up to see, for the beauty of it was beyond compare.

Ahead of her, tall and majestic, pure and snow-white. A unicorn. Joelle couldn't believe it, her breath got stuck in her throat. Tom chuckled.

"Go there," he whispered, looking at Joelle with something that was very close to a sincere smile. Joelle's mouth was still gapped open, tears of joy glistening in her eyes. She looked at Tom insecurely, back and forth between the unicorn and him. "You...you think I can just go?" She asked. Tom nodded. "I can only imagine that it will be very fond of you. I shall stay back. Go on. I'll keep close."

Joelle nodded in excitement, then inhaled deeply before she started to walk ahead. The unicorn didn't spot her until she moved out of the bushes, she stopped, seeing how the majestic creature noticed her. The both of them looked at each other, and before Joelle could walk any closer the unicorn has already begun to take steps towards her, causing Joelle's heart to beat faster. Despite it being mysteriously beautiful, she still had a lot of respect left. The unicorn came closer and Joelle smiled, outstretching her hand. For a brief moment the unicorn stopped and Joelle could see into the endless round amethyst eyes, eyes that gave her so much warmth and comfort that she would have loved to just stand and stay for all eternity. The unicorn pushed its snout against Joelle's hand, causing her to beam brightly. When she looked back, Tom was waving his hand down and it took Joelle a second to understand what he meant, but she eventually sat on the ground. The unicorn instantly followed lead and rested close to her - Joelle was now so taken aback and happy that she couldn't help but hug around it's head in joy, closing her eyes. She forgot about the world around her, and the world forgot about Joelle as she was snuggling with the unicorn. Her beloved unicorn.

Tom watched them for a fair while. It was a beautiful sight, seeing Joelle so comfortable under the old willow tree. The magic of this moment was more than he could word. He wasn't exaggerating when he thought that he has never seen Joelle happier before. The unicorn itself was so calm and quiet that Tom wondered if they had some sort of mental conversation; he knew that unicorns loved staying around those they considered pure at heart. He sighed to himself. Joelle never meant to do any harm to anyone and the unicorn knew it as much as he did. He glanced up to the stars, then over to her again, as if he couldn't allow her to stay away from his attention for more than five seconds. But then he told himself that it was okay. It was okay for now, that Joelle had her own moment for once. He has been wanting to show her for a long time, back when he was still a student in school, but only now got the chance to finally realize it and give Joelle just a little bit of joy. Was he doing it because he knew that she would be forever thankful? Perhaps. Tom's eyebrows twitched together slightly when he realized that both the unicorn and Joelle appeared to be asleep. He shook his head, sighing, but it was a sigh of content. Even he didn't want to ruin the moment and so he decided to simply rest in the grass and stare.

When Joelle woke up, it was already early in the morning. Her eyes instantly fell next to her, but the unicorn was gone. She lowered her head, unable to hide how disappointed she was that she couldn't have said goodbye. Just when she was going to appreciate the beautiful sunrise starting to glow in shrill magenta and orange light, she saw how behind the tree and bushes something seemed to move. A bright smile grew on her lips when suddenly one, two, three, four, five, five unicorns were walking her way. Joelle instantly recognized the one she's been cuddling with yesterday night. Now that she saw it, she noticed the differences. Two blue eyed unicorns looked a lot shorter and had less mane, she figured they were younger. Then there were these snuggling two other unicorns, looking like a couple. But her unicorn, her unicorn was the tallest, looked the wisest.

"Is this your family?" Joelle asked it brightly and smiled when it pressed its snout against her cheek. Only now it occurred to her that she didn't spend a single thought on Tom ever since she woke up, as if the unicorns took him away from her consciousness. She frowned and looked around in semi worry, then saw him further off in the field, standing there with crossed arms. He waved her over, but the unicorn stepped in front of her. Joelle couldn't help but consider this not a threat but a sincere advice when it blocked Joelle from going for Tom.

"Joelle," came his voice from over yonder. The unicorn nuzzled her further away.

"I have to go," Joelle whispered, gently rubbing the unicorn's head. It nudged her slightly, making a strange noise that sounded like the mixture of a songbird and a horse squeaking in denial. Joelle turned around to the smaller unicorns and their family, smiling before she eventually walked past them with her heart feeling so heavy that it threatened to explode. She wanted to stay with them forever and always.

"Quit pouting," said Tom when he pulled Joelle into his arms once she walked into them with a lowered head. She glanced back and had to realize that the unicorns were gone. Tom scowled at Joelle since she didn't respond nor change her expression, grumbling something about unthankfulness, but Joelle didn't listen because she smiled one last time at the wise unicorn that watched her from between the bushes in the distance until they were out of sight.

Joelle's heart was so full of joy that she started running ahead in a playful moment. Tom had his wand pulled out immediately, glaring, thinking she was going to run away, but hearing her silent laugh made him realize that she wasn't serious. He had to stop and stare for a moment, watching how Joelle ran ahead, her dress flowing in the soft midsummer breeze. He ran after her and for once forgot how old they were or what was behind them. He enjoyed the simplicity of what it meant to be without worries. Tom secretly admired how after all so those years he could still learn so much from Joelle.

"Not so fast!" Tom shouted. Joelle laughed and looked back, then speeded up yet a little more. Tom sighed but he was a lot taller than her, it wasn't hard to catch up considering the length of his legs. Joelle squeaked when she saw how close he was as they ran through a cornfield and laughed when she just disappeared somewhere.

"Joelle," said Tom, his voice sounding neither annoyed nor enthusiastic. "Come here."

Joelle chuckled and quickly dashed away, Tom caught the image of her from the corner of his eyes. She still laughed heartily when she realized that he lost her yet again.

It was quiet for a while. Joelle felt the insecurity creeping up into her body, she peeked her head around an area, then turned back and yelped when Tom was right in front of her, chuckling lowly.

"Enough child's play," he said and rested his arm loosely around her waist. He glanced at her stomach when he heard a soft rumbling sound coming from it.

"I'm hungry," Joelle blushed. They hadn't eaten for quite some time. Tom summoned an apple for her, causing Joelle to frown in surprise. She took the juicy red fruit with that smile on her face that seemed to never get less, no matter what happened. Tom handed her a bottle of water next upon which Joelle looked at him puzzled but took it nonetheless.

"You've always made food for me," said Tom. Joelle knew he enjoyed taking care of her now as much as she did back then.

"Can witches and wizards just provide food out of nothing?" Joelle asked. Tom shook his head. "No, we can't. I've had it stored in the tent, I merely summoned it from the place it came from."

"How convenient," Joelle frowned. "Imagine, you never have to bring a bag,"

"Which is exactly what we've been doing in the past, or did you ever see me with a bag?" Tom asked. Joelle shook her head. "No, I've been wanting to ask you where all of my dresses and nightgowns always came from but I forgot. Either way, where are we going now?"

"You will see. I'm quite sure that you'll love it."

"Oh now you got me excited!" Joelle smiled brightly and tucked on Tom's sleeve. He glanced at her, raised an eyebrow in amusement, then smirked when Joelle let go of him.

"You're in such a good mood," Tom couldn't help but comment. Joelle nodded. "I've been cuddling with a unicorn, nothing can make me sad today."

The two of them have been walking around in the forest for some more time. Tom showed her various magical creatures they came across, but after Joelle almost got attacked by a Blast-Ended-Skrewt Tom decided to call it a day and get back into the tent where they rested some more.

"Marvolo, how do you know when my magical signature has fleshed out more?" Joelle asked.

"When you'll be capable of more magic," said Tom.

"It's that simple? How does seeing Blast-Ended-Skrewts contribute to my magical signature though?" Joelle grumbled, shuddering at the thought. Tom patted through her hair meanwhile, playing with the tips of her strands.

"Two reasons. The first one is: Everything you experience leaves an imprint. Secondly, you will start to identify with a part of yourself that belongs in the world of magic," he said. Joelle nodded, she could follow, it made sense. "Well then," she sat up and exclaimed excitedly "let's try a spell!" but frowned when Tom merely chuckled. "Now, it won't change that fast."

"How do you know, are you my magical signature?" Joelle crossed her arms. Tom was so amused that he couldn't hide it properly, the smirk on his lips not vanishing for some time. Joelle cuddled back down.

"Good night," she said softly then. Tom leaned in and kissed the nape of her neck. "No, not yet," he whispered.

"Stop, Marvolo, not here in a tent," she scowled and looked at him - this caused Tom to chortle loudly. "Silly girl. What I mean is that we will go now."

"Go? Now?"

"Being a parrot again?" Tom raised an eyebrow. "Come."

"No, why can't this wait-"

"Because the darkness is our protection. Don't make me say it again. Let's go." Tom's voice was a lot sterner now as he got up. Joelle obliged for once and the two of them apparated to the train station.

"Is a train going to leave this late?" Joelle frowned.

"The trains from the world of magic, yes," said Tom calmly. He made sure that Joelle's hat was sitting right, despite the darkness swallowing them either way. They've been waiting at this lonely platform, no soul around them whatsoever. Joelle thought it was quite a scary place to be, only one dim leans light flickered far off in the distance, moths flying around it. Tom, however, appeared to be unimpressed. Certainly he would wait here alone in the dark, at midnight, in a foreign country. He wouldn't mind.

"For how long will we travel?" Joelle asked.

"It won't take too long."

"I'm surprised how fast it went from Ireland to Italy."

"That's because we didn't start in Ireland. I apparated to a train station I had visited beforehand closest to our destination. I told you, witches and wizards can only apparate to places they have visited before," he explained and pulled her closer. "You are freezing," he said and rubbed her arms up and down. Joelle glanced at Tom. Did he do this for her or for him?

"There."

Joelle looked up. A light came from the distance; shining right in her face. She had to turn her head away upon the shrillness that seemed to break the silence, it was like the train appeared out of nothing. It stopped with a loud screech coming from the breaks. The doors opened magically and Tom nudged Joelle to signal her to walk ahead. She did. Together they disappeared in a roomy compartment for just themselves.

"You can sleep now," Tom said as he draped a blanket around Joelle; she had no idea where he got it from so fast. "I'll wake you up once we are there," he purred. Joelle nodded, her eyelids feeling heavy. She soon fell asleep in the corner next to the window, balled up and tiny, running with unicorns in her dreams.

"Joelle. Joelle, wake up. Hey," came Tom's voice the other day. Joelle blinked her eyes open, rubbing her lovely dream away. She yawned, but glanced around, not understanding where she was. She was under the impression that they had entered a train yesterday night, but as she looked around, she lay in a room on a bed, tucked under covers and fluffed up pillows. It was already afternoon judging by the sky she took a look at through the window.

"You've been sleeping for so long," said Tom, a slight scowl on his face told Joelle that he wasn't too impressed by that. "You wouldn't wake.."

"Indeed?" Joelle yawned. It felt like she didn't sleep at all. "I'm still so tired..."

Tom glanced at her for a short while, then shook his head and held out a silver tray. On it was a bowl filled with lovely smelling pumpkin cream soup and a tinier plate with what looked like a mini chocolate cake; Joelle didn't care much for it, her attention belonged to the pumpkin cream soup only. She took it from Tom with a slight smile, and he waved his wand to bring it to fume again.

"I confess myself surprised," Tom stated while Joelle took in the scent. "Sixteen hours of sleep is a lot."

"Sixteen?!" Joelle gasped. "I've never slept so much! Do I have to worry?"

"I doubt it," said Tom. "I believe it's your body reacting to the magical input. It exhausts you."

"Oh," Joelle sighed in relief. That made sense again. She began to eat, her eyes alight with joy at the flavor. Tom watched her for a while; Joelle wondered if he thought about how easy she was to satisfy.

"Where are we, Marvolo?" Joelle then asked. Tom nudged his chin towards the window. Joelle had to get up in order to see clearly what he meant; and then she caught it. In the distance.

"Don't tell me...is that the Eiffel Tower? Are we in Paris?" She gasped and turned her face towards Tom who nodded quietly. "Venice, Paris. The honeymoon thing is getting really out of hand," she grinned. Tom chuckled. "I've been choosing those places thinking you would like them. Have I been wrong with those assumptions?"

"Don't be silly," Joelle waved him off, "it's fascinating."

"You didn't finish your meal. Eat," said Tom sternly then. Joelle turned around and picked up her spoon again, continuing to eat. The soup was delicious; it was her first pumpkin cream soup of the year.

After a drawn out shower and a little sip of red wine with Tom later, Joelle was surprised when he made something appear that looked rather fancy. A formfitting black dress, dark tights and black shoes.

"Where are we going?"

"You will see. Get dressed," he said. Joelle shrugged and walked off. A glance into the mirror made her see her own reflection again; she didn't take a look for a long time for specific reasons. Right now, she didn't feel like she did anything wrong; she didn't feel like that for a fair while. Once the clothes were on her body and a little bit of make up added, she walked out of the bathroom. Tom leaned against the wall in the distance, one leg angled, the other firm on the ground. He was wearing a black suit, his curly dark hair hanging loosely in his face as always. Joelle admitted that he looked good. He caught her staring, a faint grin growing on his lips as he pushed himself off of the wall and walked over to her. He gently took her hand, staring into her eyes as he kissed it. Joelle grinned back.

"Where are you taking me, darling?" She asked with a fake posh accent. Tom straightened his back and sauntered behind her, grabbing her shoulders to turn her towards a vanity. They both looked into the mirror.

"Close your eyes."

Joelle closed her eyes. Next she felt something cold and heavy against her collarbone area. When she opened her eyes she saw a necklace with white sparkly diamonds, it looked forbiddingly expensive.

"Marvolo, where on earth-"

"Shhh," he purred. "For the event today it's only natural to be wearing something like that." He turned her around to look into her eyes. Joelle tilted her head to the side, trying to figure out where they would be going. She had some ideas, but didn't know that all of them were wrong. Tom grabbed her coat and helped Joelle into it, but the most interesting part happened when he transformed her normal looking hat into a fancy one, one Joelle wouldn't normally wear; she was the casual type of elegant.

They left the hotel and walked out, a picturesque Old Town greeted Joelle's eyes who instantly fell in love with what she saw, it reminded her of Diagon Alley, just a lot older and more compact and stuffed with dark houses. Swung black baroque metal was decorating doors, windows, and shop signs everywhere. The clicking her heels on the bricks of the ground followed their ears. The lanterns sprang to life and tinted everything a nice shade of yellow. Joelle was always one for atmospheres, and she liked his one. She glanced to Tom with whom she had her arm linked. He looked back to her.

"You look beautiful tonight," he said. Joelle didn't quite know how to handle that compliment; Tom wasn't too generous with them.

"I-thank you," she responded a bit awkwardly. Tom huffed in amusement but he didn't further comment, instead he stopped in front of an alley that was way too narrow to fit through. Tom handed Joelle her wand. She looked at him a little puzzled.

"Tap the left side and the right side of the wall with your wand," he said. Joelle did as she was told - and the both walls stared to pull away from each other as if pulled on each side by immense force - revealing the alleyway for the both of them. Instead of looking into a crowded place, Joelle saw a spectacular house ahead, built of almost nothing else but glass in the shape of a huge diamond. Tom wrapped his arm around Joelle's shoulder and walked on, she was downright fascinated, but when she read a sign that read Musée d'art magique, the case was clear.

"Welcome to our Vernissage," said a male receptionist with a charming smile. It was now Joelle who smirked; Tom hated male company around her. Karma. Her eyes wandered around. The entrance hall itself was even fancier than the first hotel they had visited; a large crystal chandelier hung from the center and made everything reflect in sheer and pure white. Joelle's eyes glanced over into whatever room she could catch a glimpse of; some people with a glasses filled with possibly champaign in their hands, male and female, with sparkling jewelry and fake laughter. Joelle felt out of place, but only now realized that the both of them were being led into the same room. It was empty and white, and its only function seemed to be showing off the latest whatevers money could buy before being allowed to take a look at the exhibited artwork. If Tom thought this would make Joelle happy, he didn't quite know her. Sure, it impressed her, but she never liked the uptight and rich audience that art sadly seemed to attract. Tom caught her skeptic glances.

"I thought you would enjoy it," he said in a tone that was merely a statement.

"Well," whispered Joelle, looking around before she leaned in to him. "To be honest, I don't feel well around th-"

"Ah, Tom!" Greeted a tall man in his charming mid-forties, followed by the quiet clapping of the crowd he passed by. He had black hair that began to turn grey in some spots; overall Joelle was sure that he looked quite handsome when he was younger and aging didn't do his appearance any ill.

"Philippe, so pleased to be able to see your artwork tonight. Meet lovely Joelle," said Tom with a waxy smile, his arm having lowered around Joelle's waist symbolically, causing Philippe to smile brightly at her, taking her hand to kiss the back of it.

"Madame Joelle," he said her name in the perfect French pronunciation. "I ame beyond onored. Be my guests of onor tonight, de both of you," Philippe turned around and grabbed two glasses of champagne, handing them over to them. Joelle caught the envious glances from the high society around, displeased about how this young couple was so much ahead of them. She emptied her glass in order to drown the feeling of disgust away. Tom engaged in light conversations.

Joelle hated this place. The people, the robes, she hated her necklace and she hated the taste of this horribly expensive champaign of which she got another glass; they were floating around in the air. By the time Tom noticed Joelle wasn't next to him, she had already drunk five more and could barely swallow a hiccup when she was introduced to yet another man; around Philippe's age but less attractive.

"Joelle, this is Jacque Deporté, curator of this museum," Tom smiled. Deporté bowed politely and Joelle grinned goofily with a faint blush on her cheek that Tom found a tad off judging by the short twitch of his eyebrows but he didn't seem to count one and one yet. Instead, another "Tom!" caught his attention and gave Joelle enough room to walk up to some more champaign. Half an hour later, she didn't quite know how old she was and felt like yelling at Tom for forgetting.

Some clinking somewhere in the back of the room.

"Attention," said Deporté in french. Joelle could remember bits and pieces she had learned in school; something about how the exhibition was now opened and about how Philipe was either a great artist or an evil pig; to Joelle it sounded the same with the amount of alcohol intus. She suddenly laughed out loud, breaking the silence with heads turning her way, causing Tom to look at her with a ghostly expression.

"I am very excited too, Madame Joelle," chuckled Philippe. He took over the word and talked something about wanting to show everyone his first piece of art to introduce today's Vernissage yada yada. The crowd disappeared into the other room. Joelle walked along, despite feeling a little wobbly-legged. Tom quickly caught her and whispered harshly. "Had a bit too much champaign, hadn't you." They stopped with the crowd, staring ahead towards Philippe having started his presentation.

"Ah," Joelle waved Tom off, hiccuping. "I'm ppperfectly fine, don't be such a. Such a. What's the word. Killjoy!" she suddenly slapped the shoulder of a woman next to her. "Killjoy was the word." The woman just looked at her, then stepped a bit off. Tom wasn't amused. "Joelle..."

"She's a killjoy too," said Joelle with a chuckle, eyes twinkling when another glass floated above her. Tom grabbed it before she could. "Behave now," he murmured darkly and pushed the glass away with his wand.

"You a killjoy, too. Such a. Killjoy, PHILIPPE, killjoy is the word!" She called out and laughed almost hysterically. "Man that painting is UGLY. Pfffhaha."

Tom's face turned red upon everyone's heads turning their way. He was about to find an excuse when Philippe laughed back, he seemed indeed amused and happy about Joelle's input.

"I enjoy the mind of the avant-garde," Philippe said charmingly. Tom exhaled deeply. Joelle saluted. "Always at your service!"

"Joelle!" Tom hissed into her ear. He couldn't just leave; but staying here was clearly against his idea as well.

"What? Donnknow how to get me sober again? Hah; perfect Riddle. Mr. Black! Mr. Black l mean. Killjoy Riddle~ haha." Joelle giggled when Tom carefully sneaked away from the crowd into another room with couches. He pressed her down and summoned some water.

"Drink."

"Want me to swallow it, too?" Joelle asked with a wink. Tom blinked at her. He glanced back into the entrance hall and then saw the dilemma; all floating glasses were empty. He sighed and turned his face back only to see that Joelle was asleep on the couch. He chuckled in disbelief. At least she swallowed the water. He got up and left the room, walking back to the crowd.

"Is Madame Joelle not feeling well?" Asked Philippe once he spotted Tom. He shook his head with a smile. "I must ask your apologies. She is in a delicate situation. What I mean to say is..." he leaned in and whispered. "She's expecting."

"A baby?! Fantastique!" Philipe then lowered his voice when Tom waved his palm down. "Do tell me, when?"

"We still have some time to wait," Tom smiled charmingly. Philippe patted his shoulder as if congratulating Tom for the great work he has done. Tom could've gotten used to the proud gesture, hadn't there been the glimpse he threw over to the door he left Joelle in, causing his eyes to spark up with a red gleam.

"I suppose it's time to go now," Tom turned his face back to Philippe, his voice sounding oddly mechanical, as if he had to tame a specifically wild beast in him that gave him new ideas and options. Philippe nodded. "Be there for your wife, but do send a message again!"

Tom turned around, one hand in his pocket as he walked into the room. He looked down to Joelle, his nostrils started to flare upon the mere sight of her. He picked her up.

And disapparated back into the hotel. Joelle wasn't even awake, but Tom could hear how she murmured something about killjoy again. He lowered her down into the bed, biting his bottom lip. He couldn't help but stroke along her body gently, up and down, from her forehead to her thighs. Joelle opened her eyes a moment later, letting a breathy moan escape her lips. She leaned in and kissed Tom for the first time.

And was lucky to forget about everything else that happened.

What an adventurous time Tom and Joelle had during the past few days, too perfect to be true. Tom couldn't believe it when his tie hang loose from his neck, he stood in the doorframe and watched Joelle asleep in the large bed. It was late at night. His eyes swept over to the window. A thunderstorm was causing the beautiful silence some trouble. When his eyes swept back to Joelle, they widened.

Something was sitting on the edge of her bed. Something that shouldn't be there, something he forgot. It was the same evil and dark creature Tom had surprised Dumbledore with that day in Riddle Manor, it was the same dark creature that visited Joelle in her dreams.

Over there, in the distance, sat a demon.

"Why are you here," said Tom sternly. The demon did not answer. It was a dark hooded shadow, cold air causing even Tom to freeze.

"Think you can call upon our power and not pay us back, do you?" Came a coarse whisper from the demon. "This is not how it works."

"It was my own power." Tom glared. The demon now looked up. Tom could see his black face, his red eyes. He grinned in glee.

"Your own power? Oh no. The moment you muttered a curse was the moment you asked our permission. You know it. Hell has laws, boy. You know the deal. Nothing is for free. You know the deal. You can't just split your soul in order to withdraw from the pact," the demon hissed. It was Tom's turn to smirk.

"Well, that I did, didn't I? I am certain hell has no use for an impaired soul." Tom played with the ring on his finger.

"Indeed," said the demon knowingly. This caught Tom's attention. He had a feeling where this would go. The demon started to play with Joelle's hair. Tom's eyes narrowed, his chest heaved up an down.

"What do you want?" He asked.

The demon looked up to Tom, grinned, then pointed at Joelle.


	42. Make a Wish

**Chapter 42: Make a Wish**

 _Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things_ \- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Joelle was confronted with absolute confusion as she woke up. For some strange reason Tom did not leave her out of sight and insisted on staying with her wherever she went. She could barely convince him to let her be in the bathroom alone and had to agree to talk while she was away.

"Marvolo..." she sighed. "For heaven's sake. You disappear for weeks and now every second apart from me seems absurd to you? What- let go!" Joelle hissed when Tom grasped her wrist while she tried walking over to the closet. He didn't speak a lot ever since she woke up. Thinking of it, that was a strange moment, too. Tom was staring at her like an owl when she opened her eyes earlier this morning. It wasn't a normal stare, his eyes were widened and filled with as paradox as it sounded, focused emptiness.

"You scare me," Joelle admitted when Tom just stared away apathetically. No other reaction came from him whatsoever. He simply glanced out of the window, something he has been doing for a while, and then he suddenly looked at her. Joelle felt that it would end in a fight.

"We've been wasting time," Tom calmly stated. "You've been taking too long to learn!" He grabbed her shoulders with an abrupt motion. Joelle didn't know what was happening.

"But I suggested training yesterday in the tent. You said no, you said my magical signature wouldn't-"

"Quiet!" Tom yelled out loud with a red face. He inhaled deeply while she subconsciously walked away from him, looking at him in complete disbelief. She sat down. "What-"

"I said," Tom inhaled deeply, "be quiet."

And Joelle said no more. She had her face turned away from him but her eyes looked around as if trying to find answers on the blanket, as if they were hiding somewhere.

"Get up."

Joelle glanced over to Tom. Apparently she didn't get up fast enough because he already stomped over to her and ripped her along with him. They got out of the cottage.

"I am sick and tired of telling you things twice," Tom said darkly. He barely yelled, but his passive aggression always ended in a climaxing explosion of emotions; he wasn't able to cover them up completely within those years of training and bottling up what he felt. Joelle knew that being quiet was the only right reaction to his lingering wrath.

"If you had been as talented as I thought you were, none of this would have happened. Perhaps I was wrong," Tom still ripped Joelle along. "You are weak. In the end your magical talent doesn't exceed the ordinary. Weak!" Tom suddenly yelled and pressed Joelle against a tree, looking into her eyes with nothing else but sheer anger. Joelle's bottom lip quivered, she couldn't help but react like this, she was truly scared. Usually Tom's explosions were slightly more predictable - he tended to be provoked by something Joelle had said or done. But now? What did she do? What happened? What would happen next?

The upcoming few weeks were sheer horror. Tom trained Joelle in a way he has never trained her before. They barely talked about anything else that wasn't connected to magic, Tom's affectionate side has completely dissolved. He was so obsessed with defining her magical signature that Joelle thought she would puke it out at some point. Those weeks were rough and exhausting. It was the end of September, but not the end of Joelle's torturous training. Tom was merciless.

"Wand out."

"I can't," Joelle coughed. "I feel all dizzy-", this was the wrong thing to say, as Joelle realized the next moment when a jolt of red light was sent her way and crashed against her, causing her to tumble onto the wet grounds of the forest.

"Get up."

Joelle coughed and tried to get up again. Just when she was standing, another jolt of red light pushed her back. Tom looked at Joelle without any mercy. "I told you to get out your wand."

Joelle rolled on her back. She felt incredibly sore. She stared up into the sky, watching the remaining colorful leaves dancing in the wind. She couldn't move anymore, but she flinched when Tom was suddenly next to her, ripping her up. He was furious.

"I SAID GET UP!" He yelled, but Joelle slapped his hand away from her collar. She narrowed her eyes - her anger making her a lot more energetic again.

"Watch your tone with me, Marvolo."

Tom laughed mockingly. "Or else what? Are you going to curse me? You?" He snarled up his nose. "So weak."

Joelle looked at Tom calmly again. She was firm the way she stood, not emotionally shaken for now. They have switched roles for a while. Tom was so relaxed and controlled a year ago, but the more time he spent with Joelle again, the more he fell back into his temperamental self that he used to be as a child. He was not as predictable these days, however.

"Look at you," Tom started again. His voice was filled with naked disapproval.

"Yes, look at me. You've been trying to force feed me spells of sorts for weeks and still yet I haven't learned a thing. You act like that says a lot about me as a student, but what does it say about you as a teacher?," Joelle asked, not able to conceal her own anger any longer. Tom was furious, he aimed his wand at her and explosions of light shot out of the tip of his wand, Joelle managed pulling her arm up just in time - the spells dissolved into nothingness. Joelle's hand was grasped around her wand tightly, but her grip loosened upon what happened. She looked around. Was this really her doing? Tom did not expect this, judging by the dumbfounded look on his usually so waxy and smooth features. He glanced at his wand as if to doubt its function, then over to Joelle. They looked at each other in confusion for a while and the both of them shared the same thought: how did she manage this?

"Perhaps you're not that bad of a teacher," Joelle then said swiftly. Tom frowned a slight bit. He put his wand away and walked over to her. "You've made progress. Let's go back to the cottage and have dinner. Then you will rest. It's late. You need enough sleep," said Tom, outstretching his hand to Joelle. She took it - and together they disappeared. The rest of the evening was rather unexciting, but the morning beheld a surprise.

Tom shot up when he didn't find Joelle next to him the other morning. He instantly grabbed his wand and rushed out of the cottage, inhaling deeply to yell for Joelle, but then glanced back over his shoulder and saw her walking out of the bathroom. She was fully dressed and she seemed to be in a very good mood. Tom closed the front door, then sighed. Joelle guessed that it only now occurred to him that he had put up magical wards around the cottage; she was sure she couldn't have escaped even if she wanted to, so what did he worry?

Tom walked over to Joelle, standing in front of her, his eyes scanning her a little suspiciously. "What do you have there?" He asked with a calm tone, gently taking a book from her. His eyes met hers and he shook his head, semi amused, he expected it to be the unicorn book, but it wasn't. "Where did you find this?"

"I found it over there," Joelle pointed to a dusty shelf with a handful of books. Tom flipped through the pages, it was a rather interesting but basic piece of literature. Joelle skipped to a specific page, pointing at something.

"I want to try that one out," she said.

"This?" Tom frowned. "That's very advanced, Joelle. I don't think you will be able to do it."

"M for motivation..." Joelle scowled. Tom looked at her, then chuckled and closed the book but Joelle pulled it away from him. "I'll try it. Without your help."

Tom frowned widely, chuckling even more. "Without my help?" He asked rhetorically. Joelle sighed and looked to the side.

"Without a wand, too? That would be very impressive," Tom mocked. Joelle crossed her arms. "Come on, give me my wand. I want to try it. I know you like having control over everything. But perhaps it might help to let me study on my own for some time."

Tom inhaled deeply, he was very obviously not too impressed by Joelle's suggestion. Joelle knew she had to convince him more.

"I know about my body better-"

"You don't know about magic," Tom interrupted. "You can't truly assess and estimate your progress because you don't know what your spells have to look like."

Joelle was almost impressed. Tom's quality of arguing was very straight forward and direct. The worst part was that he convinced her.

"Let me try," Joelle said again. "I will learn when I have room to try out some things myself, without feeling the pressure of you around," Joelle looked away. "It's not easy to satisfy someone who's so talented..."

Tom almost purred at the sound of those words. But he smirked. "Leave charming to me."

Joelle grinned but didn't look at Tom. After another minute of him inspecting the book, he nodded and handed it back to her.

"Fine. I will let you study on your own for some time. We will see what happens."

Joelle nodded with a smirk. She turned around with the book, walking over to the door, then stopped in her tracks and hurried back to Tom, holding out her hand with a sheepish smile. Tom looked at her amused but gave her her wand, watching how she walked off again.

It was a strange thought to think about what has just happened. Tom allowed Joelle to go outside, alone, by herself, with a wand and a book of spells - all those things could clearly be his downfall. Joelle, however, knew that Tom's arrogance distorted his perception of things; he considered her too weak a witch, too weak to stand a chance against him. Still yet, Tom observed Joelle training on top of the hill through the window, the sunlight shining down on her. It was a beautiful day, not rainy and not even too cold to be unpleasant enough to run back inside. Tom's attention was unshared as he evaluated her every move, commenting on it in his head. Joelle was a graceful woman, despite not exactly knowing what she was doing. Tom eventually turned around. He was relaxed, he knew she couldn't run. He had something else to take care of. He rubbed his chin as he sat on the couch, then glanced to his arm. He waved his wand and in front of him appeared the translucent image of a skull and a snake coming out of its mouth. Tom pointed the tip of his wand at it, then leaned back.

"My lord," came the sudden voice of black curly haired Lestrange. Next to him appeared blonde and steely eyed Avery. Both bowed from the neck, but the surprise of seeing Tom alone was written on their faces.

"Did you call us to find the girl?" Lestrange asked. Avery's chin raised at this, he was ready to do his job right, whichever would be given to him. But Tom shook his head.

"No," he said firmly. "She's outside. I want you to give me a report on latest events. Where is he?"

Lestrange and Avery both seemed to swallow a particularly big piece of wood. They avoided Tom's eyes, but the tenseness filled the room.

"To be truthful," Avery cleared his throat," we haven't been able to keep track of him since his visit at Riddle manor. The last thing we heard is that he is at Hogwarts."

"Hogwarts," Tom scoffed. He paused a little before he continued to speak. "That's where the old man is hiding, of course. The walls are well protected."

"We hear he was in to become the new headmaster, so Nott reported. But he declined taking over the position," said Lestrange. This caught Tom's attention. He looked up.

"Declined? Ones thoughts must be guided towards believing he is too busy a man to fall down to such banalities as becoming a headmaster," Tom purred, sipping on his tea. Only now he waved his hand and the other two men sat down upon the offer.

"Black said the same, almost," Lestrange informed, "said Dumbledore's not interested in becoming a headmaster yet. Perhaps he's seeking another exciting task after Grindelwald. Someone he hasn't yet caught."

Tom nodded. "That is beyond the obvious."

"He knows she is with you, my lord," said Avery. "He knows it's not a coincidence that she cannot be found by any means. And that nobody knows where you are."

"That's no news either," said Tom with a scowl. "It was clear the moment he entered Riddle manor."

"Perhaps, the demon," Lestrange started, Tom's eyes narrowed upon the word. "Perhaps it scared him enough to hide at Hogwarts?"

"Fool. You're almost as naive as my Joelle," said Tom coldly. "Overestimated though Dumbledore may be, let us not underestimate his intention of playing the brave nobleman. Have I really sent you to spy, yet all you have for me is nothing but silly obviousness, is that really all after more than six weeks?" Tom asked with his voice growing darker. The two other men grew positively nervous, shifting uncomfortably in their seats. Avery opened his mouth to speak.

"We believe-"

"But what do you know."

Avery cleared bis throat. "The theory we try to prove right is whether or not Dumbledore is planning something, perhaps some sort of arrangement, making looking for the girl public, just like it happened in the muggle world."

Tom glanced at Avery in concentration, then slowly dragged his eyes towards Lestrange who spoke next.

"That would mean she could be recognized in both worlds. We have been trying to find proof for this but Dumbledore isn't easy to-"

Tom raised his wand. The both men flinched as he stared into their eyes before he continued to speak. Tom merely magically filled his cup.

"Unfortunate circumstances. However, none I can't take care of," Tom said while his eyes swept out of the window. Joelle kept on waving around her wand, still trying to make a particular spell work. Both Avery and Lestrange followed their lord's intense gaze, seeing the obsession that has fallen over him.

"Of course everything is highly hypothetical," Lestrange broke the silence. "We don't know for sure. Nott is pulling strings at the ministry for some leaked information from the offices, the Daily Prophet, anything. None so far."

"But I can assure you that we are attentive," said Avery in a voice filled with determination and longing for recognition. Just before he could receive an ego-stroking answer, the door opened. Joelle walked in.

"Urgh, this is frustrating. I'm going to drink something and then-" she stopped with a frown once she closed the door and looked to the lot. "Oh..."

"Lady Joelle," said Lestrange with a smile. "I hear you have been eager to learn magic yourself."

Joelle smiled shyly.

"Were you successful?" Avery asked, but something in his tone told Joelle that he knew the answer and was particularly fond of hearing that she failed. She didn't comment. Instead, she waved her wand and some cups of tea floated their way. Tom smirked, but Joelle did not even do that, despite feeling a strange sensation of satisfaction seeing Avery's dumbfounded expression.

"Would you like to try these?" Joelle asked and opened a jar, putting some cookies on a plate that she offered to the guys. The two men reached for a cookie each, despite Joelle believing that Avery never truly considered eating it. He did nonetheless and Joelle inwardly grinned at how much he loathed not being able to sincerely display his repulsion.

"How are you?" Joelle asked them.

"Just fine, don't worry about us," said Lestrange, biting into the cookie, "mhm. Good."

Joelle smirked. This situation was so incredibly awkward that it was beyond amusing to be performing in it.

"Joelle, dear," Tom then said with a drawn out sigh, smiling as he rubbed her thigh affectionately, "don't you want to train some more?"

"Why, your puppets are eating on my command, that's funny to watch," she said colorlessly. Lestrange coughed and Avery's mouth turned more upside down as he slowly gritted his teeth with the cookie. He eyed her up, then cleared his throat. "I believe that was an order, Lady Joelle," he said with a thin smile. Joelle smiled back warmly. "Oh. I'm not as good as you at recognizing orders, darling."

Avery and Joelle looked at each other intensively. Whereas Tom was amused, Lestrange felt incredibly uneasy, he cleared his throat and pulled on his collar, as if an invisible rope was slung around his throat and took his breath away.

"Joelle," said Tom firmly next. She sighed and got up, putting down the plate of cookies. "Fine, fine," she grabbed her wand and walked outside again. Tom inhaled deeply, but his eyes followed her until she was out, then he looked back at his visitors.

"Any orders?" Lestrange asked more professionally. His playful tone was gone the moment Joelle was out.

"More efficiency," said Tom slowly and with a warning tone. "I want to be sure."

Lestrange and Avery nodded.

"What are your plans?" Avery then asked. Tom raised an eyebrow. He was above answering. "I expect a more promising report soon. You are dismissed now," he said rather coldly before getting up and walking over to the window. The two men understood that this was the moment to leave, Tom did not even bother responding to their goodbyes as he watched Joelle with his eyes narrowing steadily.

The air was fresh and cold, but it smelled like a beautiful mid-autumn day. Joelle felt the presence of somebody behind her and she stopped practicing the moment she saw Tom.

"Marvolo-"

"What was that little show just now," he asked in a way that didn't even sound like a question. Joelle knew that his reaction depended on her answer.

"I could ask the same," Joelle scowled. "What are you plotting?"

"Nothing of which you and I wouldn't profit."

"I expected to hear that" Joelle scowled.

"Then asking was most pointless."

"You know what? I don't need to discuss this with you."

"Yet you are," Tom whispered as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Focus on your studies instead. What you have picked out will take a lot of energy and effort to master," he kissed the nape of her neck. Joelle rolled up her shoulders in order to part herself from him. It worked.

"You're doing it again," she said unamused. "Those secrets again."

"No secrets, my dearest," said Tom, wrapping his arms around Joelle from behind once more, squeezing her against his body. "Now quit pouting," he whispered. "You have such a loose tongue lately."

"And don't you like that?" Joelle asked over her shoulder.

"Haven't quite decided yet." Tom said, then looked ahead. The sun began to set as the two of them were standing there together, witnessing the enchanting magic nature could perform. Tom started to nip on Joelle's neck, causing her to squirm around a little. "You're so affectionate today. First you're letting me train all alone, with a wand even, then you're accepting that I'm laughing at your little puppets, and now you're glued to me. Tell me, what did I do to deserve this?"

"You were born today, some time ago," said Tom simply. Joelle's eyes widened and she whirled around fast, looking up to Tom. He grinned, still having his arms around her.

"Indeed," Tom chuckled. "It's the first of October. Today is your birthday, Joelle."

Joelle still looked at him all surprised, then suddenly scowled. "Twenty-five. Five years and twenty years, twenty-I am so old."

Tom laughed out loud.

"Why are you laughing at my misfortune?"

"Because age will become something we won't even bother to keep track of," Tom murmured, tilting up Joelle's chin to look into her eyes. "Make a wish and tell me."

"A wish?" Joelle asked as if to be sure she heard him right. Tom nodded, waiting patiently. There were many things on Joelle's mind, so many that saying nothing at all seemed like the only right choice.

"Well?" Tom inquired and tucked some strands of hair behind Joelle's ear with his wand; only now she realized that he charmed a flower along. She smiled at the feeling of it, then pulled the flower away to take a look.

"A black rose?" Joelle asked. "Red was too romance novel, wasn't it?" She winked when Tom grinned, taking in the scent of the velvety petals. It smelled like any other rose. "Marvolo," Joelle started. Tom looked down to her, waiting patiently with his face not showing any kind of emotion. Joelle's eyebrows twitched together in a slight greeting of despair, she didn't dare give her wish a voice for she knew how Tom would react.

"Bryan," Tom said knowingly, colorlessly.

"You can come with me," she said. "He's my friend, Marvolo, I just want to make sure he's okay. It's been a long time."

"You can send a letter," said Tom, raising his chin a bit in a way to show that this matter was done and dealt with. Joelle knew this was about as charitable as he would get, but she wanted to try it more.

"What are you scared of?" Joelle asked suddenly. Tom's eyes narrowed for the split of a second. "Scared. Don't make me hostile," he warned. Joelle thought about this for a moment. This was so typical of Tom to say; if he were to react in a way that would hurt her, he made sure she was the one to blame. She was the one making him hostile. It wouldn't be his fault. As always, nothing would be his fault. Joelle turned her face away only to look into his eyes again.

"What would you like to have for your birthday?" She asked. Tom seemed a tad surprised at this question, at least he didn't expect to hear it. But then his face turned back to its normal, cool handsomeness.

"I have everything that I want," he said. The way he said it while staring into Joelle's face resembled the likes of a threat.

"So there's nothing else?" Joelle asked. Tom's lips pursed while his eyes narrowed again, he must have felt provoked for a reason Joelle didn't understand. But then he nodded slowly.

"There is something. But it will have time until then," he whispered audibly enough for her to hear; she was still in his arms after all.

"What if...I agreed to make your wish come true if you make mine come true?" Joelle asked. Tom raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know my wish involves you?" He asked arrogantly. Joelle scowled. "Now you, don't make me hostile," she said. Tom couldn't help but smirk. "Hnn..." he glanced to the side, then back at her. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. "I just don't like to see you with him."

"I am with you," said Joelle. Tom looked up to her on an instant. His thumb caressed her bottom lip. "To gain my trust and permission she says everything."

Joelle glanced to the side. "You can't just put me in a mason jar and expect me to glow for all eternity. You need to set me free at some point, Marvolo."

"Joelle," Tom started calmly, "saying this while it's about meeting another man is not the wisest of choices."

"To you it's just another man, to you it's a rival. To me it's a friend. Someone I can always count on, someone who would help me anytime."

"He couldn't free you from myself, could he," Tom asked mockingly. Joelle knew that Bryan is and would always be a sore topic; Tom had to put him down to feel above. As always.

"I agreed to stay with you," said Joelle. "Or didn't I? Didn't I tell you I would try?"

"You did because you had no choice," said Tom slowly with narrowed eyes.

Silence.

Instant panic fell into Joelle. Tom, maybe now, realized that she wanted to see Bryan a lot more than she ever wanted to stay with Tom. Bryan was still his rival after all this time. This realization, Joelle knew it, was a bad, bad thing. He turned around and walked off, Joelle was after him on an instant.

"Marvolo, don't-"

"Such devotion just to make sure Bryan remains unharmed. You have not shown me that kind of devotion yet," said Tom while entering the cottage. Joelle closed the door, then whirled around.

"Lies," she exclaimed. "You had more of me than Bryan ever had."

Tom looked at her curiously now. Joelle nodded. "I remember your question from back then."

"And I remember the slap I received," said Tom bored.

"Bryan and I never..." Joelle cleared her throat. "Never."

Tom was a lot calmer hearing this. Bryan, his rival, has never gotten what he got from Joelle. Tom narrowed his eyes in delight. In the end she did know how to charm him, knew just the right things to say, the right buttons to push. He underestimated her, but this realization did nothing to the feeling of euphoria that lit up in his stomach. He had Joelle before Bryan. To a man, whose mind was strong but body weak, this was a great feeling.

Joelle never moaned Bryan's name. Never.

"I will change my choice. I still have a wish free," Joelle said.

Tom looked at her. "Go ahead then. What's your wish?"

"Before I say it, I want to explain something to you. You wonder why he still means so much to me, right?" Joelle asked when she watched Tom's concentrated gaze.

"When I see Bryan I think of a time I was truly happy. No, don't get me wrong," said Joelle when Tom's eyes darkened. "Not because he made me happy. Because he was there when I was. Wool's orphanage was more of a home to me than my own home. I was so happy to come there everyday, to see you, to see the others, to bake and cook, to be welcome. He was a part of a time I hold dear to myself, like you hold it dear to you. Marvolo, you above all would understand how precious those memories were, you above all would understand devotion to preserve that, you above all would understand the fear to lose it."

"I above all," said Tom calmly. "So you finally understand me."

"I always have, Marvolo," Joelle said. Tom followed Joelle to the bed, sitting down next to her while the both of them ate some of the cookies. Joelle looked at Tom and something in her felt easy and good for once, maybe it was just the flames dancing in the fireplace and the nice scent of burnt wood, or perhaps it was something entirely different.

"I am still waiting for your final words," said Tom calmly. Joelle nodded. She sat upright, her voice changing into a very serious but soft tone.

"Never kill him. No matter what."

Tom looked into Joelle's eyes. In the end, Joelle's final wish was to preserve memories, memories of a time she held dear to herself, memories he, Tom, held dear to himself, memories that included him. Bryan was the last other remaining inhabitant of Wool's orphanage alive, Bryan was a living fossile of a time that caused Tom's today's actions. Joelle was right when she said that he above all would understand. Joelle never took the memories from him, and he would never take them from her.

"So be it," said Tom at last. "Bryan will not die on my hands nor on my command."

"Thanks, snowman."

Tom spun his head towards Joelle so fast that it almost hurt. That nickname, that name. Precious memories.


	43. News

**Chapter 43: News**

 _All creative people want to do the unexpected_ \- Hedy Lamarr

Coughing and sneezing was the music of the next day. Joelle caught a very serious cold over night. She was pale and almost not alive by the look of it, but she did not whimper or whine the least. She merely retreated into a nest of pillows and blankets, curling up with tea. Tom was sitting next to her on a chair, not leaving her side at all.

"The potion will be ready in a moment," he said, adding an ingredient that Joelle couldn't decipher. She didn't care as long as it would make her feel better. She tried to say something, however, it only ended in a silent cough. Tom looked at her. Joelle saw that he was very worried but she knew he wouldn't ever let her know. Still yet, he was unable to hide it properly. Joelle did not exactly know why and what was going on, but whenever she made the tiniest of winces, Tom was alarmed and checked her as if he thought someone ran a knife through her body. It was as if he expected someone to actually do it. But who could harm her? Who would even want to?

"How long?" Joelle asked with a thin voice. Tom chuckled. "Just wait some more. Sit up."

"No more soup..."

"Sit up, Joelle."

Joelle sighed. Tom had managed to make some food; she didn't know how and couldn't supervise while she was asleep, but when she woke up about an hour ago a fairly good chicken soup was waiting on her. It was only good until Tom forced Joelle to finish the bowl, resulting in having to jump up and run to the bathroom shortly after. She was lucky that this time he meant well. Tom merely handed another cup of tea to her. Joelle sighed in relief and drank the tea quietly, resting back once she was done. It was quiet for a while, Tom was stirring the simmering potion in the cauldron. Somehow, Joelle felt warm and fuzzy while the wood was burning in the back of the room, the mere color gave her chills.

"Thanks for taking care of me," she then said. Tom looked over to her, but he did not comment. Instead, he waved his wand at the liquid he has been brooding for the longest while. It made a strange quick noise.

"Will it taste disgusting?" Joelle asked.

Tom raised an eyebrow. "It's medicine in the end. It's not going to taste like champaign," he said colorlessly. Joelle snickered, then coughed. "I actually hate alcohol, you know that."

"I thought I knew. You weren't much of a good girl that evening at the museum. All floating glasses were empty."

"Well, you dragged-" coughing interrupted her, "me into a museum full of rich and sparkly people, I felt uncomfortable."

Tom looked at her.

"Sorry, I don't mean to sound unthankful. But...In the end, I am that ordinary, simple girl. Had it been just me and you. And art, that's what it should've been about."

Tom looked away again. He huffed a slight bit, but it wasn't in a degrading manner. Joelle wondered if he agreed or disagreed; how ordinary was she to him?

"Marvolo, why have Avery and Lestrange been here yesterday?" Joelle asked. "Be honest."

Tom looked at her. "I wanted to talk to them," he said simply and got up, turning away from Joelle. He didn't lie and he finished the conversation that way. Tom was a professional at making things work for him.

"You look so tense," Joelle commented. Tom's eyebrows twitched together but he didn't respond verbally, instead he handed her another cup. "Drink it all. No exception."

Joelle gulped but nodded, looking at the light, red-golden colored liquid. She inhaled deeply, then quickly poured it into her throat without paying too much attention to the flavor; she had to stop herself from blowing up her cheeks in disgust, however. She put the cup back, rolling up her shoulders when her ears suddenly let out steam as though she was a train, making Tom chuckle lowly.

About three hours later Joelle was relieved of the symptoms, having had fallen asleep in between. When she woke up again she felt incredibly good and alive. She was life itself. Tom was resting on the chair next to her, his arms crossed and eyes closed, he appeared to be asleep, looking peaceful. Joelle smiled lightly at the sight ahead, she knew he only somewhat meant well in the end. Or at least she liked the thought of it. She got up from the bed. Tom's eyes shot open; he instantly looked for her, finding her standing in front of him.

"I feel so much better," she said cheerfully.

Tom nodded. "You look much better, too."

Something strange happened next. Joelle leaned down and did something she has only done voluntarily years ago. She pecked Tom's cheek, then walked past him and over to the bathroom. Tom, still being somewhat surprised without admitting it, heard how Joelle started the water of the shower. His eyes glanced out of the window, it was around noon, then towards the closed door of the bathroom, biting the inside of his bottom lip. He held himself back.

"What's going to happen today?" Joelle called out.

"You're going to stay in bed," said Tom.

"But why? I feel so much better."

"The potion merely defrays the symptoms of a cold. Nobody said you're healthy again. And I don't want it to turn into something nastier. Which, by the way, taking a shower might just do."

Joelle chuckled. "A very worried man, you are," Joelle called out.

"A very careless woman, you are," Tom called back.

Joelle chuckled again. "Always having the last word, huh?"

"I learned from you, my dearest. Now, I mean it. Enough showering. Get out."

Joelle did not stop the shower and did not respond, much to Tom's annoyance. Was he under the impression that Joelle somewhat got more compliant? Yes. Was he under the impression that she would listen to everything he said? No. Joelle was still Joelle. And Joelle was a very stubborn Joelle. She must have been most surprised when for some strange reason no water came out of the shower head anymore. Tom imagined that she looked up confused, but then it clicked and she knew what happened. She must have rolled her eyes before she got out of the shower fully dressed again.

"You're a nuisance, Marvolo," she said. Tom merely rested against the bed with his arms behind his head, a smug grin on his face. He waved his wand at Joelle when the latter ruffled through her hair with a towel, drying it. Joelle slowly and comically looked up with a raised eyebrow, then inspected a strand of hair before giving Tom an unimpressed glance. Tom still grinned, her hair was perfectly dry.

Days passed. It was mid October. Tom and Joelle spent some time in comfortable harmony for a while, something both of them thought impossible to achieve. They trained together and had light conversations on various topics without getting into a fight even once - and none of them expected the next to happen.

Joelle was already asleep when it did.

"My lord," came a hushed voice at night. Tom sat up in the bed, glancing to Joelle asleep next to him, then over to Avery and Lestrange. "My lord, this is urgent," said Avery again. Tom got up, waved his wand and a silvery haze, bubble-like, swept around the bed. Joelle would hear nothing.

"I expect this to be important," Tom said. He and the other men sat down.

Something was handed over to Tom. Newspapers. It took some time. Tom scowled. He said not a word.

"This is bad, my Lord," said Lestrange, bending forward a little more. "It's not all...not only has she been spotted...and the forces reactivated to keep looking for her upon the new trace..."

"We have safe hints that Dumbledore is picking up on it, too," Avery took over. Tom glanced between the two men, quiet and concentrated. He scoffed in the back of bis throat, a scoff of possibly giving Dumbledore some credit.

"Where would everyone expect us to be?" Tom asked calmly while folding the newspaper together, the way he asked showed the two men that it was a rhetorical question, testing their intelligence.

"Possibly...erm," Lestrange looked at Avery. "Possibly at a place that is secure, with someone who can assist operations."

"Someone like police officer Bryan Lessing," said Tom, leaning back with a small smirk on his lips, turning his head away to dwell in a thought that seemed inaccessible for both Lestrange and Avery.

"My lord...you don't want to go there, do you?" Lestrange asked with a frown. Tom shook his head. "Of course not, you fool. For now it appears to be the best solution to split up."

"My Lord?"

Tom looked at Lestrange. "He will expect her to be with me. Which is why Joelle will go with one of you. I shall pick her up soon."

Avery cleared his throat. Lestrange smiled. "I would gladly take care of her, we would get along-"

"Of which I am aware. That's the reason Joelle will go with Avery."

Avery's face turned a little stony upon the news. He glanced over to sleeping Joelle, then forced a smile at Tom. "Anything you wish, my Lord. But. Perhaps I might need a little advice here and there, I mean," he cleared bis throat while Tom grinned, "I mean she...wasn't fond of listening to me in the past and I just want to make sure that-"

"You're a grown up man, Avery. I am most confident that you can handle the situation now. You know what to do. Especially in that case," said Tom in a way that gave Avery no choice but to agree. "Of course, my Lord. When will we be leaving?"

"Tonight."

Avery nodded. His eyes followed Tom when the latter had gotten up, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He tucked some strands of hair behind Joelle's ear to whisper. "Joelle."

Joelle's eyes opened. She stretched and looked at him drowsily. "Hm? What's going on?"

"A little adventure," said Tom, "get ready."

Joelle rubbed her eyes and yawned, but ended up coughing when her eyes found Avery and Lestrange whom stared at her intensively. "What-"

"Get ready, I said."

Joelle got up groggily, grabbing some of her clothes and vanished behind the bathroom door.

"Where are you going to go, my Lord?" Lestrange asked.

"Not important. However, I need Joelle to be out of my feet for a while."

"Is she that distracting?" Lestrange chuckled but only earned himself an awkward reaction from both Tom and and Avery, having their eyebrows raised at their fellow. They all turned their heads over to the door when it opened and Joelle walked out.

"Good morning," said Lestrange with a slight smile. Joelle yawned again and nodded.

"You will be staying with Avery for a while, Joelle," said Tom. Joelle looked like she just had to eat a particular disgusting bug. She scowled. "Why?"

"I have to take care of something."

"I knew it!" She hissed. "I knew you would-"

"No discussion. Pack some of your things," said Tom. Joelle crossed her arms and didn't budge, causing Avery to inhale deeply. He would have no nerves for Joelle and her stubbornness and he feared that his patience would get tested too much. It could cost him his life, he knew that Tom wouldn't allow any harm done to his precious girl.

Five minutes later, Joelle and Tom had a huge fight.

"You and your stupid secrets! I don't care if your puppets can hear me, you might be able to fool them but not-"

Tom silenced her with a swift wave of his wand. He didn't bother too much. Thick droplets of tears rolled down Joelle's rosy cheeks, it was beyond frustrating to not be able to word ones anger. Tom glanced at the two men and they understood, they walked out of the cottage, leaving the two some privacy.

Tom walked closer to Joelle, holding her face. "I know you do this because you will miss me, let's not pretend," he whispered. Joelle looked outraged but couldn't answer. Tom kissed her. Joelle calmed down.

"I will be back for you," he said. "Now go out to Avery. Be a good girl. Go."

Tom watched how Joelle walked out. He stood back in the cottage, inhaled deeply. And then he was gone.

"Don't expect too many kind words from me, doll," said Avery as soon as Joelle met his eyes. Lestrange was already gone by the point she was out.

"Don't worry," said Joelle collectedly, only now realizing she had her voice back. "Puppets normally can't speak, my expectations were low."

Avery narrowed his eyes. "Why, you were quite muted yourself just now."

"Not by choice and that's the difference between me and you."

Avery grumbled lowly. Joelle smirked. "Can't hurt me, can you? This is going to be so much fun. Do you know why he chose you to stay with me and not Lestrange or somebody else? He wants to see how much he can truly trust you. You don't know how he works, do you?"

"Oh, I know much more than you would think," Avery said bitterly, then grabbed her hand and apparated somewhere. They stood in front of a house surrounded by nothing but a field. A small house, nothing special. It was larger than the cottage but less inviting, built of concrete bricks and not wood. Joelle followed Avery inside. It was as cold as she expected it to be - starting from the temperature to the interior. Steely, grey colors everywhere, mixed with bits and pieces of exclusive items of which Joelle was sure would make Avery feel richer than he truly was. She just glanced at everything in a pitiful way.

"Come on, say something rude to me," said Joelle. She was waiting on an attack, wanting to have a reason to vent her anger and frustration.

"I would. If you were worth the effort," said Avery. Joelle smiled. "So jealous. You could have him all to yourself, I wouldn't mind."

Avery glared at Joelle. "I forbid you to speak to me in such a way in my house."

"Or else what? Will you kick me out?" She laughed. The both of them knew that this was out of order.

"Sit down," Avery then said, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"Are we going to have a real conversation now?"

"Sit. Down."

Joelle chuckled but decided to be compliant, sitting down. "Okay. Confession number one. My attention is unshared."

"I am not going to confess anything to you," Avery hissed. "Just stay like so and look pretty."

"Sit down, you're making me nervous standing there," Joelle said. Avery frowned, then sighed and gave in, sitting down as well. None of them said a word for the next half an hour, the atmosphere was beyond tense and awkward. Joelle sighed, resting her head back. She glanced at Avery, who started reading a book and didn't pay her any attention, not even for a glimpse her way.

"Where...is he? Do you know?" Joelle asked. Her mocking tone was completely gone and Avery noticed immediately, judging by the faint gleeful grin that he could not stop from growing on his cold expression.

"Of course I know," he said simply, tilting his chin up a little. His arrogance set Joelle off immediately but she tried to calm down. She didn't want to give Avery the satisfaction of seeing that he could stir her in any way. On a second thought, there was something she really did not understand.

"Why do you even hate me so much? I never did you any harm."

No reaction came from Avery. He continued reading in silence.

"I'm talking to you...I just wanted to know why we can't get along. Black and Lestrange are very kind to me. And I haven't met the others much."

"Not every man is crazy about you, Joelle," said Avery simply, not looking up from his book. Joelle sighed. Avery simply flipped the page over, making it painfully obvious that he was above a conversation with Joelle. The latter scowled and made a mental note to not ever again let Avery know that it bothered her. She glanced from the left to the right, sighing. She wanted to leave this place and she wanted to know what was going on, but as always, Tom left her behind with more questions than answers.

AN: The award for the most charming man doesn't go to Avery, what do you think about him? Does he frustrate you as much as he frustrates Joelle?


	44. Joelle's Sacrifice

**Chapter 44: Joelle's Sacrifice**

 _Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act -_ Paulo Coelho

A good amount of time passed, Joelle counted the seventeenth day Tom was gone. In no time at all, cold November was knocking on the door. Joelle was not very talkative and ignored Avery to the best of her ability. To be truthful, she was sure he did not even notice that she was avoiding him - they seemed to share the same strategy. But that wasn't the only thing. Joelle slept on the couch despite Avery insisting that she would take his bed. No, of course this wasn't a first attempt to be kinder, it was Avery's fear of getting in trouble with Tom should the latter find out that Joelle had to sleep on a couch while prince Avery was in the comfortable bed. Joelle did not want to. She couldn't sleep in a stranger's bed - let alone of one who wanted her gone.

"Here." Avery pushed a plate Joelle's way. It was rice with vegetables; Avery was a decent cook. Still yet, Joelle had eaten just enough to make sure he wouldn't complain.

"Thank you," Joelle said lightly and sat upright. Avery's eyes glanced over to her in a first reaction, it was as if it angered him that Joelle refused to lose elegance, she wouldn't yell at him and wouldn't shout, wouldn't hiss, wouldn't bicker. She left those things for Tom. With others she was kind. She gave him no real reason to dislike her - yet he did. Avery huffed in another thought.

"You're nearly as tense as Marvolo always is. Relax," said Joelle. Instead of a glare, Joelle received somewhat of a calmer look. Apparently Avery liked being compared to Tom.

"I am relaxed," Avery then said. "What about me makes you think otherwise?"

"You value the opinion of a woman?" Joelle asked with a fake smile. Whatever relaxed state Avery was in, he left it. He narrowed his eyes steadily, then simply unfolded the newspaper with a quick, loud noise while dragging his eyes away from the girl that jumped in her seat upon the sudden sound. Avery grinned. "Your precious Marvolo must've leashed out on you a couple of times. Disciplining you. You wouldn't have jumped in your seat otherwise, hearing just the sound of paper."

"Sorry, but not all women get beaten 24/7," said Joelle.

"That is indeed a pity," said Avery. Joelle smiled.

"Why are you smiling."

"Here he goes again, valuing the opinion of a woman," said Joelle. Avery's face darkened.

"I wonder what he sees in you. Because despite your...heritage," apparently Avery wasn't allowed to call her a mudblood anymore, "you are also incredibly cheeky, insolent, and unthankful."

"I know you're used to women that bow down for a man. I'm afraid you won't have that kind of luck with me."

"You silly women," Avery said. "You understand nothing."

"Nothing?" Joelle asked calmly and sat upright again, pushing her plate away. She smiled. "You mean I don't understand that you were raised by a woman, probably non-magical, disappointed of how much she could not teach you while the father who could have taught you decided to leave you behind?"

"How do you-"

"You mean I don't see every little step you take to not be the mediocre wizard you were destined to be? You think I don't hear every little bit of frustration from your childhood as soon as you open your mouth? I know men like you. Does this sound familiar? Average grades in school, nothing special, but special you wanted to be so you decided to stick to a man who could make you shine and give you just that little bit of power that you knew you would otherwise remain forever excluded from. I know you, Avery. More than you think. You hate me because I am in your way of becoming something greater trough Tom, because I take away his attention. You hate me because I am close to so much power, yet little you understand of how much of it is actually controlled by me. You, Avery. Understand nothing." Joelle sipped on her tea. Avery sat there with a gapped open mouth. It took him a while and Joelle knew that each word she said was nothing but the truth. Avery still tried to find words.

"I am sacrificing my success to take care of a silly woman...he handed me over the shrew while I could train more, do more! I am far better than Lestrange and Black - yet I have to sacrifice my development for YOU!"

Joelle was outraged, a particular word, just that word.

This was an existential discussion.

"You know NOTHING," she suddenly gestured wildly, "of what a sacrifice is! It is never selfish! You know nothing of what it means to sacrifice ones life for that of many others! Do you think I am staying with him because I want to? You are under the illusion that giving in means giving up, like so many you understand nothing of power, nothing of him. Nothing of me."

"Say it clearly! Are you saying you are controlling him?!"

Joelle chuckled and shook her head. "I pity you, Avery. You and your lack of judgement, caught in a cage of masculine superficialness. You know nothing of your women. And that's why we will forever have you in our hands," Joelle finally turned around and disappeared into another room. Avery was so taken aback that he had not a word to say for the next few minutes. But then he walked after Joelle and into the library she was in.

"Don't you turn your back on me when I am talking to you!"

"Why, we were done talking," said Joelle cooly, opening the book she picked out. Avery grabbed it from her to get her attention back. Joelle raised an eyebrow at him.

"You are not in any kind of position to talk to me like that," he hissed.

"Had it not been for me, the female mudblood you loathe so much, you," Joelle emphasized," wouldn't be in any kind of position at all."

"What? I owe you nothing!"

"Just your pathetic life, you fool. Tom almost killed you. He was furious after you left me back in the manor with the two men almost abusing me. He was wild, believing none of it would've happened had you not gone. I stopped him. I convinced him it was not your fault."

Avery looked at Joelle in surprise. He knew she did not lie, yet he liked to believe she did. Perhaps he preferred to believe that Joelle tried to manipulate him, but if he knew something from Tom's picture of Joelle, it was that of a selfless and honest person. Avery narrowed his eyes again, this time in realization. What exactly he realized Joelle would never know.

Some more time passed. This year's November was incredibly cold. Joelle and Avery have still been ignoring each other since their last conversation. They barely made any kind of verbal approach. None of them felt the need. Still yet, Joelle could not withdraw from the assumption that something changed between them. Avery did not look at her in a degrading way anymore, perhaps he simply got used to the fact that she was here and he had to cope with it - or, and Joelle liked to believe it, he recognized her value for she was the very reason he was still alive. Knowing the fact that his very existence depended on a mudblood must have been more than he could handle, whatsoever, so she understood why he ignored her.

It was a cold early morning. Joelle was resting on the balcony with a blanket and a cup of tea, inhaling the fresh air. Ahead of her was an open field that showed nothing but trees behind, it was quite the beautiful sight. Somewhere in the distance was a river that threatened to freeze - it was already that cold. White frost covered everything that once used to be green, it was mesmerizing to see the little crystals embracing nature like this. Joelle yawned. It was very early but she couldn't sleep anymore. Her attention was caught. Talking.

"Not yet, Lestrange!" Avery hissed. "I can't talk now. Did he find him already? Kill him?"

"We don't know where the old man is...lost track as soon as Tom caught up on it. I thought perhaps he stopped by here to pick Joelle up again."

"He has not been here and I advise you not to call him. Especially not here," Avery hissed. Lestrange was about to answer but he glanced over Avery's shoulder and cleared his throat.

"Now I understand!" Joelle scowled. "He left to kill Dumbledore, right?! Don't you dare lie to me, boys, I'm warning you!" Joelle hissed. Avery threw Lestrange a reproachful look, then closed the door on his face.

"Listen, doll. None of what he does is your business."

"All of it is my business! Now that I have heard it do you really think I'm going to act like I didn't? Call him, Avery. Call him right now. I know you can. That ugly tattoo you all have, I've seen Lestrange's hand twitching to it, I've seen Tom pointing to it in the basement back then. I am not stupid! You will call him. Right. Now."

Avery did not budge. He looked at Joelle calmly. "Let's calm down."

"CALL HIM!" Joelle yelled.

"What do you even want to ask?! 'Hey, I've heard you want to kill Dumbledore, I don't agree?!'"

Joelle stepped in front of Avery. She was one and a half heads shorter than him and it would have looked funny had there not been this determined twinkle in her eyes. "Avery. If you don't do as I say I will make sure, from this day forth, that the remaining lifespan you still have is not going to be enjoyable the least. Call him. Leave everything else to me."

"You're silly!" Avery suddenly yelled. "There won't be a remaining lifespan when I call him just so you can throw a tantrum! He will kill me!"

"You selfish little bug! He plans a murder! The death of a man who taught you at least SOME relevant things in your sorry life! You don't have to wait for Tom to kill you!"

"You? Hah, you're too weak to-"

And then Joelle suddenly lunged out and jumped on top of Avery - he fell on his back immediately. This has never happened before, this was unlike Joelle to let out her aggression like this, but the impulse was unstoppable. The both of them wrestled around and Joelle won the upper hand as she sat on top of Avery.

"Interesting." Said a voice from the back of the room. Both Avery and Joelle looked over to the door in shock. Tom was leaning against a wall all too cooly, twisting his wand absentmindedly his hands.

"My Lord!" Avery exclaimed. "Lady Joelle...would you please get off..." he said with all the kindness he could muster. Joelle smirked. "Why, you wanted it a minute ago and now you want me to get off?"

Avery's eyes widened, he looked over to Tom and shook his head with panic in his eyes. Tom merely looked at him with an unreadable expression and stopped twisting his wand. This was a bad sign.

"I was just kidding," Joelle said. Tom's hardened expression seemed to dissolve a little while Joelle chuckled. "That was power, Avery. This right now," she whispered into his ear and got up from him.

"What was this about?" Tom asked, but as usual, it didn't sound like a question. It was an order to explain. "I heard there are some turbulences," Tom said.

"Not half of what awaits you," Joelle said back. The corner of Tom's mouth twitched up. It's been three weeks - and he missed her cheekiness. His grin vanished as soon as she stepped in front of him.

"I know what you're planning. Leave Dumbledore alone," Joelle hissed. Tom's eyes narrowed immediately, gritting his teeth, nostrils flaring when he hatefully threw Avery a death promise.

"Ah, leave him out of that," said Joelle when she saw how Avery was motionless from fear. "I merely confronted him with my assumption and he is a bad liar. Perhaps a smarter puppet is in for the future?" She asked. Avery would've been insulted had Joelle not saved his life for the second time now.

"What do you expect, my dearest?" Tom asked. Joelle glared. "Dumbledore is looking for me, isn't he?"

"That he is."

"And you want to kill him because you think he would take me away from you."

Tom said nothing for a moment. "I'm afraid not quite. It's the other way around. He wants to take me away from you."

Joelle scowled. "And that's a bad thing?"

Tom chuckled. He tucked some strands of hair behind her ear. "Indeed."

"Marvolo," Joelle pulled her face away from him. "I am yours. You know it as much as I do."

Tom stared at her, the amusement was gone. Avery, too, left the room at this point.

"Mine...?" Tom whispered. "Say that again."

"I am yours," Joelle repeated. Tom stared into her eyes for the longest while. And then scowled. "You have failed to convince me," he said darkly and turned around with his arms behind his back, wand still out, pointing up to the ceiling.

"You said you wouldn't leave me out of your sight again," said Joelle.

"Finding Dumbledore was very pressing," said Tom. He turned around to her, walking closer. Joelle looked away with a sigh, crossing her arms.

"Look at me."

Joelle didn't. Tom grasped her chin. Not in his usual rough way, this time he was a tad softer. They looked into each other's eyes. And then Tom apparated back into the cottage with her.

"You won't be leaving tomorrow, will you? Stay with me..." said Joelle in a gentle, almost longing tone. Tom looked into her eyes in concentration. He inhaled deeply.

"Take me with you," Joelle added. Tom caught her eyes again, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous."

"Marvolo..." Joelle whispered, her bottom lip quivering for the split of a second. "No more deaths, I'm begging you," she clung to his collar. Tom remained calm. He caressed her cheek, his thumb rubbing across her bottom lip. She had warmed up with him. Was killing Dumbledore worth sacrificing this development? Tom inhaled deeply once more. He looked into her eyes, then pulled her closer. "You are asking for a lot," he murmured. "Dumbledore is not the fool Lestrange is. He will focus all his magical power on trying to find us. He took you from me once. You are asking me to let it happen again?"

"I explained to you, didn't I? He was the one telling me to stay with you. And I was the one refusing. It was my fault...remember?"

"It does not matter. In the end, he assisted you in putting up magical protection so that I would be unable to reach you."

Joelle looked at him with a surprised glance. For some reason Tom gave access to a topic he always avoided. She had to watch out. He might have been following a plan, after all. Tom was predictably unpredictable.

"As long as you called Wool's your true home I could not lay a hand on you. I had to destroy that home in order to break the protection."

"So murdering them had far more reasons than making me a criminal..."

"You see, Joelle," Tom whispered. "I never wanted to kill them, I had to-"

"Don't insult my intelligence, Marvolo," Joelle narrowed her eyes. Tom's famous red gleam lit up again, he knew she wouldn't buy it. And she was right. He had enjoyed every little shed of blood that day. Pretending was pointless; with her at least.

Tom stared into her eyes deeply and his unreadable expression made Joelle a tad nervous. He began to speak.

"You said you are mine," Tom repeated. Joelle nodded. Tom rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand as he leaned in to whisper into her ear. "Don't insult my intelligence, Joelle."

Tom was still there the next day. Joelle was very tense and scared. She feared he would leave again at some point, would try and kill Dumbledore. She knew that, despite his puppets being blindly loyal, they were scared to do the job for Tom. Perhaps they knew that their talent wasn't worth the attempt; Joelle knew that Dumbledore was a very talented sorcerer. Joelle also knew, however, that the gears in Tom's head were turning. She had to do something. She stepped in front of him when he was staring out of the window. He slowly dragged his eyes to her.

"Shouldn't you be studying? I gave you some things to read," said Tom sternly. Joelle shook her head. "I can't focus," she whispered and took his hand, walking backwards with him. They sat down on a couch. Tom raised an eyebrow at her when she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Do you really think I don't know why you're doing all of this?"

"I never said you wouldn't know," said Joelle. Then she looked at Tom. "I feel kind of strange. Like something inside me wants to...get out..."

Tom raised an eyebrow at that, unable to hide a grin. Joelle laughed. "No, really. It feels tingly. Do you think it could be the magic pulsing through my body?"

Tom looked at her in surprise, he closed the book he had started to read. "Hm. That's a very smart question."

"Why do you have to sound so surprised?" Joelle huffed. Tom got up, he was concentrated. "That's a very good sign...your magical signature...it's starting to flesh out noticeably..." he murmured more to himself, pacing around.

"Then it's wise to continue training, right?" Joelle asked. Tom spun his head towards her, storming her way, grabbing her face. Joelle didn't know what exactly he saw in her eyes but she definitely saw the raw obsession in his. Tom was obsessed with an idea. He let go of Joelle and handed her her wand. "Come on," he said and walked outside. Joelle followed.

"Show me what you can do," Tom said. Joelle sighed and glanced to the side, shaking her head. "I don't think I made a lot of progress," she said. Tom sent a spell her way, Joelle managed to dissolve it just in time. He seemed neither pleased nor disappointed, but that changed when Joelle sent a fairly weak counter attack his way. Tom sighed, glancing to the side while his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek in annoyance.

"You've had so much time! And here you wanted to learn how to cast a patronus?! I let you train on your own for that - yet you can't manage the simplest of spells!" Tom almost yelled.

"I'm sorry..." said Joelle, ashamedly avoiding eye contact. Tom didn't respond, instead he turned around and walked back into the cottage, closing the door with a loud thud. Joelle stretched her neck towards the door and windows to make sure Tom wouldn't see her anymore.

When Tom walked inside, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, resting his arms on a chair. An undesired visitor. A dark shadow. It grasped Tom's attention, sitting over yonder, on the couch.

"You again," said Tom. The demon grinned, his red eyes staring right into Tom's very core.

"I have nothing for you," Tom said collectedly, almost bored. His pulse didn't exceed standard. The demon shook his head. "The usual so arrogant tone will turn into a voice filled with panic the moment you realize what I have," the demon said. Tom scowled. "You have no use for me."

"That is true," said the demon. "Not for you. You ignored us for too long. You cannot betray hell. You think all of the power you have summoned was for free? Didn't we tell you hell has laws? You should have studied your theories a bit more. Your arrogance was in your way. You believing nothing stands above you. We know people like you, boy. You sold your soul the moment you delved into the black arts - you agreed when we first met. And then, you fool, you create horcruxes to escape that duty to come to us for when you die. Remaining earthbound because you don't want to serve as you were supposed to after life. Your fear of death is fear of hell - of us. But hell you will have right here. The time has come, Tom Riddle."

Tom's eyes widened for the split of a second. In slow motion, he turned around, stormed out of the cottage, wand up, looking around for Joelle for dear life - he has never been this panicked before. "JOELLE!" He shouted.

But Joelle was gone.


	45. Perceived Reality

**Chapter 45: Perceived Reality**

 _If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences -_ W.I. and D.S. Thomas

Joelle grinned when she saw where she was. It worked, she thought. It indeed worked. Ahead of her was the field she has last seen in late spring. The little house to her nose's view looked the same. Joelle inhaled deeply, then knocked on the door once. Nobody opened. Twice. Nobody opened. Joelle scowled. No. This couldn't be. She knocked again. Nothing. Just when she was about to leave, a familiar voice called her back.

"Joelle?!"

Joelle turned around. Instant tears welled in her eyes as she ran ahead and threw her arms around Bryan Lessing, sobbing. He hugged her tightly. "Joelle...! I've been trying to find out where you are, been pushing the case even more since you've been here the last time, you've been spotted again but then forces lost track-"

"It doesn't matter, I'm here now. Look, we need to talk," said Joelle hastily. Bryan nodded and glanced to the left and right before he closed the door and pulled Joelle into his arms yet again. They hugged for the longest while, it felt so good.

"I need to tell you so much..." Joelle whispered. Bryan shook his head. "I already know a lot," he whispered back. Joelle looked at him puzzled, not understanding.

"Dumbledore visited me," Bryan said. Joelle frowned. "He was here? Oh my god, do you know if he will be back? We need to, I have to. Are you-do you know what...Marvolo and I, I mean, do you know what we can do? Did Dumbledore tell you-"

Bryan pulled Joelle over to the couch, pressing her shoulder down. The both of them sat.

"About magic? Yes. Did I believe he was lying? Yes. Did he show me that magic is real?" Bryan inhaled deeply and rubbed his thighs while exhaling, "oh yes."

"Then you know it? That Marvolo is a wizard?"

"A powerful one considering what Dumbledore said. And yes...it wasn't hard to count one and one. Dumbledore was convinced, as was I, of your innocence. We know Tom was behind those murders. Dumbledore told me there were ways to make others believe they have seen certain things. Mrs. Kenneth said she saw you that day, with a bloody knife. Of course we never found the knife. Most importantly, Joelle...Dumbledore was able to clear her memory. Not completely but enough. She is now an unreliable witness, that means the judges might believe her to have been confused, she's old after al, do you understand what I mean?"

"I will be cleared from all charges?" Joelle asked with widened eyes.

"We did not get that far but that's what we are planning to do," Bryan smiled. "All you have to do is stay here with me-"

"It's not that easy...Marvolo could come here any moment. I escaped. Oh Bryan, there's so much I need to tell you," Joelle whimpered and shook her head, not knowing where to start. Bryan held her hands. "Hey, I am here. I won't go anywhere. Tell me everything."

Joelle inhaled deeply, it was such a hard task to organize ones thoughts when time was rushing, when there was just once chance to get it right before it could be too late. But she started.

"Marvolo plans to unite our souls. This will make me forever a part of him-"

"Wait, what? Why forever?"

"Okay let me start here. Did Dumbledore explain to you what a Horcrux is?"

"No, he didn't mention that word."

"A Horcrux," Joelle sat up, "is a physical container for the soul of a witch or wizard. If you create a Horcrux and split your soul, you won't be able to die because your soul is protected in said container. Even when you're fatally harmed, as long as that container isn't harmed, you will live. To create a Horcrux you have to kill someone. Marvolo has already created several Horcruxes in the past, probably to make sure that death won't come in his way during his plans with me."

Bryan scowled, but he was able to follow.

"And what does he plan with you?"

"He wants to unite our souls so that when he creates the next Horcrux, a part of me, of my soul that is a part of him, will be contained, too."

"He wants to make you immortal?"

"Exactly..." Joelle lowered her head. "He wants to live forever, with me by his side."

Bryan inhaled deeply, it was quiet between the two of them for a fair while. His elbows rested on his knees while his hands were formed in a praying gesture, lips pressed against his thumbs, trying to comprehend the situation and the severity of Tom's actions. "I had an idea, back then, that he was not ordinary, but this..." Bryan shook his head. "This is beyond my mental reach. Where is he? He didn't let you out of his sight, where is he now? I doubt he let you go, I know he hates me."

"He is looking for me right now I take it, that's why I'm rushing, we need to talk to Dumbledore-"

"Joelle, Joelle, calm down. It's important that I understand everything. And right now, I don't." Bryan held her shoulders.

"Why did Tom not unite your souls sooner?"

"He couldn't. There's something like a magical signature. Only the souls of witches and wizards can be united. Magic is what unites and connects us. He made me train and learn more about magic so my signature could flesh out, otherwise the soul binding ritual wouldn't have worked. I acted like I was weak all along, but he allowed me to train on my own here and then. Marvolo didn't know about how much I already learned, that's the only reason I can be here. Because he underestimated me. I apparated here. To speak to you and to find Dumbledore, my original plan was for you to officially catch me so that it's all over the news, I overheard that he's been looking for me, I thought that he would perhaps come and find me then."

"That was clever idea, actually. Because I cannot contact him, I need to call the department, they are in touch with him. I am, however, the only one who knows what he is. See, he thought it might be the best idea to defray traces of him being in touch with me. Because of Tom, he said he doesn't want to give him even more of a reason to harm me. But I understand. You need to talk to Dumbledore so that he can help you."

"No, no," said Joelle, shaking her head. And then she said something for what Bryan would take a lot longer to understand.

"I need him to stop looking for me and Marvolo. I need to tell him to let things be."

"Wait, wait, no. Joelle?! Did he do something with your mind?! That's insane!"

"Hear me out!" Joelle got louder. "Bryan you don't understand. I do something to his sanity. The only reason we have been here in spring was because Marvolo wanted to kill you."

Bryan's eyes widened, his mouth gapped open. "What?"

"But," Joelle leaned closer, "he couldn't. He couldn't kill you because of me."

"That man doesn't have a conscience!" Bryan barked. Joelle shook her head.

"It's not his conscience that kept him from killing you. It was my influence. Tom called it my purity. He said I am dimming his power. He said he tried to make the spell work several times - but his wand didn't react to his command. Bryan, don't you see it? Don't you see how far he goes? It is the only way I see to make sure other people can remain unharmed - call me crazy, yes, call me crazy, but that man would start a war, he will, for the silliest of reasons, with all those people that obey him! If it's not for me to stop him - I want our souls to be united - I haven't fought against it as soon as he told me that my influence is doing something to his magical abilities. That way, Bryan, I might be able to stop more bad things from happening."

Bryan massaged the bridge of his nose. "Let me summarize. Tom is practicing black magic like no other wizard before him, that's what Dumbledore said, too. You now told me that Tom wants to connect both of your souls and make you immortal. And you want to let it happen because you think you can cast away this darkness - because of your own pure soul."

Joelle nodded. "Back then I left because I was scared that with me, Marvolo would delve into the dark arts too much, I thought he would grow even more obsessed when I stay. He used the dark arts to make sure I wouldn't go anywhere, he started teaching others, too. I might have been the reason he even picked up a book of those sorts in the first place. To be truthful, he might have picked them up for all kinds of reasons, but it so happened that the first reason was me. I thought I was doing the right thing, Bryan. When I left I thought he would see that with dark magic he wouldn't succeed, I thought he would understand that it has consequences. But that's not how Marvolo works...Dumbledore was right when he said that with leaving...it would get worse...I made a wrong choice once, it can't be undone, but I can be smarter now. I don't exaggerate when I say these things."

"You sacrifice your own life. Your very existence for all eternity? Because you believe he will start a war in the future?"

"With that potential of his, look, I know I sound crazy, but-"

"I believe every word you say," said Bryan suddenly. Joelle looked at him surprised. But Bryan went on. "Remember it was I who told you in the past that it's wise to watch out with him. I am fully aware of his intention to cause nothing less but havoc when things don't go the way he wants. But Joelle, such an existence, I couldn't let you do that..."

Joelle lowered her head. Only now Bryan realized that she had begun to sniffle. "Don't worry about me. I know it sounds worse than it is. I..." Joelle cleared her throat, blushing a little. She didn't dare say it.

"I understand," said Bryan. "You know when I said I would always hope that you and I could work out again?"

Joelle said nothing, but looked at Bryan who gave her a forced smile. "Well now I know it's pointless to hope."

Joelle didn't correct him. She tried to justify it in her head but she found nothing. "I know it's all kinds of wrong."

"I don't want to judge you," said Bryan. "I'm sure you're your own worst judge."

Joelle nodded, biting her bottom lip, trying to suppress her tears. "I don't understand it. I should hate him. I should loathe him. But I don't. Why doesn't it work?"

"He was recklessly, unimaginably, smartly saving you from a man who took your joy of life. I'm sure that has something to do with it."

"No," said Joelle, "it has everything to do with it."

Silence knocked on the door. Silence was an old friend of Joelle's, it came back and embraced her, shook her, but never harmed. Silence always said enough. While it was quiet between them, not painfully, not awkwardly so, Bryan got up from the couch, walking over to the kitchen to prepare some tea. "I will call the department in a moment to tell them to contact Dumbledore."

"Are you sure they can contact Dumbledore? I really just need him to know to stop operations. I would tell you to tell him but I doubt he would believe it if it's not personally coming from my lips."

"He is a very wise man, I don't think I could comprehend half of what he knows. But I suppose he knows what he is doing and how he is doing it," said Bryan as he came back with a plate of bread and toppings. "Eat something. You look awful."

"Why thank you," Joelle chuckled. Bryan chuckled back. "You know I didn't mean it like that."

"I am used to it. Marvolo always said you aren't a gentleman," Joelle giggled, but the both of them kept quiet upon those words. Joelle sighed and started to eat. So many things circled in her head, yet she couldn't word a single thought of hers. Bryan handed over a cup of tea before he began to eat as well, but he saw how tense Joelle was and he pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead. "Hey..." he whispered. "You know you can always count on me, right?"

"I know," Joelle smiled. "I know that."

"Sleep a little. You're safe here with me," said Bryan.

"I'm not too sure about that," said Joelle. But Bryan shook his head. "I forgot to mention. Dumbledore expected Tom to come here and try to harm me. So he put up magical protection around the cottage. You don't have to worry. Even though I don't know that man too much, I couldn't help but trust him."

Joelle smiled widely hearing this. She exhaled deeply. Those were good news, now it made sense as to why Bryan was so calm in the first place. Joelle felt like she could rest, but the pit of her stomach was turning and knotting up, hurting her, making her feel nauseated. She could only truly rest with Tom by her side - not because he gave her peace at mind but because she knew that while she was there, all of his attention went to her and not whatever awful plans he could be following. As long as they were together, the world was protected.

"How far does the protection reach?" Joelle then asked, looking into the darkness of the sky.

"A little around the fields. Everything else will be risky," said Bryan while washing the dishes. "Why?"

"I really need some fresh air," said Joelle. Bryan nodded. "Sure. But stay close, I want to see you. You know, just in case," he then walked over to the telephone, showing Joelle that he was busy with a call now. He paid her a soft smile while Joelle nodded and walked out, not closing the door completely. She eyed up her wand as she sat down on the small stairs, inhaling the fresh air. The fields were empty, the sky starry. There were no signs. No signs at all, that wherever Tom was, he thought that a demon took Joelle. That wherever Tom was, all hell was breaking loose - for he did not know, did not see Joelle apparate. He thought she was in danger.


	46. Just a bit, while it lasts

**Chapter 46: Just a bit, while it lasts**

 _We build statues of snow. We weep to see them melt_ \- Walter Scott

Joelle smiled when Bryan's hand was resting on her shoulder half an hour later. The both of them were now sitting on the stairs outside together, watching the dark blue sky. Bryan smiled back at her, then frowned when Joelle waved her wand. A moment later he was witnessing something else he has never seen before. It was a silvery, almost a frozen blue colored creature, translucent and magnificent. It took Bryan several glances when he, at last, realized it was not a horse.

"Is that a unicorn?" Bryan asked. Joelle nodded. "It's my patronus," she said. Bryan's head spun to her. "Pa what?"

"Patronus. It's my magical guardian. It can cast away dementors. It protects me from harm," said Joelle.

Bryan shook his head again. He stared for a fair while before he whispered. "It is absolutely stunning."

"Marvolo wouldn't be surprised to see my patronus is a unicorn," Joelle chuckled. "He knows I am very fond of them. I've seen real unicorns a while ago. I wish you could have seen them, too."

Bryan watched how the unicorn marched around, looking up to the moon. Joelle seemed content, her head was resting on Bryan's shoulder. It was a beautiful night, despite it being rather chilly.

"Look," Joelle whispered. Bryan looked up. Tiny little snowflakes began to dance down the sky. The first real snowflakes of the year.

"What did you tell the department?" Joelle then asked. Bryan rubbed her back. "That you are here with me and ready to correct the case-"

"But Bryan-"

"You are not the murderer. Nobody needs to know it was your precious Marvolo."

Joelle looked at Bryan in shock.

"Trust me, making that choice was the most difficult one in my life. Because those who have died deserve to have their murderer punished. Amy. Dennis. Eric. Billy. And the others. They have a past. That past we mustn't forget," Bryan explained.

"Don't tell me. I'm stuck in the past and I will forever be as long as I live," Joelle sighed.

"There is life for others. We need to protect that," said Bryan. Joelle looked like she wanted to say something, but her surprise held her back. It was surprising to hear these words coming from the mouth of a man of law. But Bryan shared an opinion that Joelle had for a long time. Law and morals were two pair of shoes - Bryan understood that letting Tom go was the only right thing to do.

"What made you decide that you would let Marvolo go?" Joelle asked.

"It's not our laws that can stop him, so it's pointless to try. He would laugh at the judge during the trial. He would be able to break free from any kind of bars we put him behind. I don't want to give him that satisfaction to snarl his mocking grin into my face when he casually walks past me," said Bryan. "The laws from the world of magic are different, perhaps one day he will finally face consequences there. But I believe that," he paused to look at Joelle, "it could be something entirely different that can truly stop him."

Joelle smiled and looked up to the stars yet again.

"I think I can tell you now," Joelle said. Bryan tilted his head to the side. Joelle took his hand and pressed it against her stomach. Bryan needed a few seconds, but then his eyes widened. "Really?" He asked, not quite sure whether or not he was supposed to be happy about it.

Joelle nodded. "I am pretty sure. I've been due for more than six weeks, I kept feeling ill and nauseated and overall I wasn't very energetic. I just feel it," Joelle rubbed her belly. "I think it must've happened after we've been to the museum. I don't remember that night much."

Bryan said nothing. Perhaps, once more, a little hope died out. Joelle realized it, she didn't expect any different.

"How do you feel about it?" Bryan asked as he glanced aside heavily. Joelle shrugged, still looking into the distance. Bryan bit his bottom lip, trying hard to push away the jealousy. He grabbed Joelle's hand.

"You will be a great mother. Despite all your doubts. You are aware that things could be very different from that point of view," said Bryan. "Does he know?"

Joelle shook her head. "Not yet. He has been talking about children before our journey but he does not know, I wanted to wait. I don't exactly know what for, is there ever a right moment to say it? Between him and I, I mean," Joelle sighed. A wave of doubts rained over her and Bryan could almost hear the mental fights she had, finally wording one of them. "I feel ashamed. Of both being in the condition and being excited about it. Just when did I lose control over my life so much?"

"None of it is your fault," Bryan said. "The only right answer is because Tom decided it. Because you were chosen by him. You couldn't have won," said Bryan. "I shouldn't have let you go. So if you are looking for someone to blame, blame me." He pulled Joelle a little closer, his chestnut brown hair tickling her soft skin. It was a moment full of raw and unconditional friendship - and nothing less than that. "You are ready for this. I see it."

Silence embraced Joelle again. It felt good.

"It's true. I am ready," Joelle eventually said, then softly rubbed her stomach with a fond smile, as if having a silent conversion with the unborn. "Pregnant..." she whispered. Bryan smiled a bit. "You'll visit uncle Bryan, right?"

"Of course," Joelle chuckled. "I don't care what Marvolo says. Did I ever listen to him?"

"It appears you just acted like you did," Bryan grinned. Joelle nodded proudly. If she liked something about herself, it would be her way of wiggling out of situations without losing herself all too much during the struggle. It was a difficult task to keep track of oneself being in the net of Tom Marvolo Riddle.

"So what about Dumbledore?" Joelle then asked.

"He will be contacted tomorrow. It took me a little time to convince them that we are not coming to the department tonight. I told them that you need to rest and that it'll be impossible for you to escape. But since you came here voluntarily in the first place they believe me that you won't run. So here are the plans. We will go to the department tomorrow. We will correct the case and have Dumbledore come to us. You can talk to him. You know there will be a trial and whatnot but that's formal stuff, we will get there when time has come. By the way, no word about magic, that's obvious, right?"

Joelle chuckled. "Of course that's obvious."

"You know. There's something I didn't understand. If you knew Dumbledore was looking for you, why didn't you just wait until he found you?"

"Because Marvolo is looking for him at the same time and I'm scared he will manage to harm Dumbledore. I asked Marvolo to take me with him but he didn't agree. It was only a matter of time until he found Dumbledore, that's why I decided to act now. Marvolo hates Dumbledore as it is, thinking he was the main reason he couldn't reach me during all those years. Well...it's sort of true. He was already a powerful wizard, only Dumbledore's magic could've protected me. And you know Marvolo. He sees only what he wants to see. He would never admit the obvious."

"What a crazy life," Bryan sighed. "What a crazy world."

Just then, the unicorn patronus looked at them, especially at Joelle. It suddenly stood on its hind legs, jumping a little forward as if to motion them to move. And then it quickly galloped away. Joelle snickered. "My unicorn is right. It's cold. Let's get back inside."

"It is too cold indeed. That's not good for your health and condition now. You know what? Go ahead, I'll grab some firewood from the garden shed. Don't come there, I don't think the magical barrier reaches till there. I will be right back," Bryan pecked Joelle's cheek and jumped up while she smiled and stretched, not yet realizing that forgetting her wand on the porch would turn out to be fatal. Joelle walked into the cottage and sat down on the couch, the orange dimmed light from the kitchen put her into a very comfortable mood. She rubbed her belly gently.

"I wonder how he will react, you know, little one? I wonder in how far you will inspire him to become something better. Do you think I am naive to hope? Hope is all we have, wouldn't you agree? I wish I could hold you already."

The door opened and closed again.

"Look, uncle Bryan is back," Joelle chuckled.

"Not quite." Came a familiarly cold voice from behind. It instantly forced goosebumps into Joelle's very core. She turned around, not believing her eyes. It was not Bryan nor Tom. There, by the door, stood a tall, pale, and rather thin man with messy blond hair and an untamed beard. Steely but dimmed eyes looked insanely at Joelle. Despite not looking the way he did years ago, the man still had an aura of severity and danger dancing around him in a forbidden, unsaid manner. Joelle, however, shook her head. She wasn't falling for this again. "Very funny," she was about to say, but she was cut off by the voice. And things would change forever starting here.

This was John Lawrence. And he looked horribly real, her worst nightmare from the past - the shadow of her future; John, whom Tom had gotten behind bars, rigging a trial years ago. John stood there. Joelle's heart began to speed in panic at the sight ahead of he, and only now saw it, because the orange light reflected it.

He had a knife.

Tom went too far now. If only he knew in what kind of condition she was, he wouldn't make her go through this just to punish her. Joelle grumbled lowly, she had learned so much in the past but not how to dissolve a boggart. Her hand twitched to her pocket, looking for her wand, but it wasn't there. John cackled.

"She is so quiet, she can't believe it. Do you want to know what kept me alive? Memories kept me alive, sweet Joelle, memories of your body," John paused, walking closer with heavy footsteps that echoed on the wooden panels of the floor, "memories of revenge." He drew himself closer with the same amount of steps Joelle used to move away from him, at a loss for words. Panic started to take over her again. She knew he wasn't real, but the effect was.

"I don't know how to dissolve the boggart - knock it off! Marvolo!" Joelle shouted.

John's pale face reddened. "Marvolo..." he threw his head to the side, eyes narrowing in a thought as he was straightening his back. "Yes, I certainly remember the boy from back then...the car ride...the trial..." His voice became rough and coarse, as if he swallowed a handful of needles before he spoke; cold eyes narrowed with destructive malice, he has been calm until now. It changed. "But he's not here to help you now, is he? NO TRIAL TO RIG, NO GAME TO CHEAT ON, NO, NOBODY TO MANIPULATE!" Spit came flying from his mouth. He looked like a beast, but he didn't approach Joelle any more. He just stood there and watched, taking in her scared face.

"You can't be real, you can't be real," Joelle whispered while shaking her head. No, this wasn't real.

"AVERY! YOU SAID YOU KNOW HOW TO CONTROL A DEMON, DIDN'T YOU? THAT WAS THE ONLY," Tom yelled louder, "ONLY REASON I LET JOELLE STAY HERE IN LONDON WITH YOU WHILE LOOKING FOR DUMBLEDORE! WHY CAN'T YOU SUMMON THE DEMON NOW?!" He was so furious that black sparkles came from the tip of his wand. "CRUCIO!"

Avery groaned in pain, crashing to his knees. Tom withdrew the wand after a moment, his irises small and red, he raised his arm above his head, full of fury and merciless obsession as the first syllables left his lips. "Ava-" but then something caught his attention. Tom scowled, he almost instantly let his wand fall to the ground, managing to grasp it firmly at last second. Avery glanced over to what Tom saw, the other men, Lestrange, Black, Nott, Mulciber and Rosier, all laid further off, harmed, bloody and weak, but watched how the graceful, blue lighted patronus in the form of a unicorn eyed them up, then stood on its hind legs, its horn glowing.

"Joelle..." Tom said. The unicorn turned around and galloped away - Tom followed without a doubt.

The cottage was ice cold. Joelle trembled, was still from fear. Her worst nightmare was so real as the panic in her body was, taking control of her. She was defenseless without her wand, without anything on her hands. John paced from the left to the right. The table was between them. He couldn't reach her. Yet.

"It was too strange a coincidence that after such a long time officer Bryan would call in the department. I heard them talking, Joelle, that you are with him - I just had to count one and one. Oh Jo, what have you done coming back? But I am no idiot, am I? This is perfect. Why, you wonder? If I kill you, a murderer, then everything they think l have done will be forgotten. I will be a hero! Destiny exists in the end, right?" John laughed, his messy blond hair falling to his unshaved face. Joelle stepped backwards insecurely. John spoke along while they walked around a table, Joelle trying to keep the distance between them. John smirked.

"You didn't do it. The murders at that orphanage, I've heard and read about it everywhere. I know, that boy must have rigged it the same way he rigged our beautiful trial!" John laughed harder again, shrill and crazy as he still circled around the table like a lion. And suddenly he stopped walking, stopped laughing.

"Look at me. You have destroyed me, slut. I wanted to give you the world. The world! THE WORLD!" John suddenly jumped over the table, knocking down the vase of flowers, causing him to almost slip on the water that now poured on the ground. Joelle fell over from trying to escape faster than her wobbly legs could take her, but she managed to jump back up just in time before the large knife stabbed into the wooden panels of the floor, breaking through one of them. John bent to his knife that was stuck there, ripping it off, laughing while Joelle tried to open the door for dear life. It was locked. Here she was. Doors she wanted to open that didn't - and doors she should've left closed she opened. It was too ironic a situation. But Joelle could not pay attention to that. She thought about running into the kitchen to grab a knife herself but her life was not a silly novel where things worked - the kitchen only had one entrance and if John, tall and broad, saw her out that way. If John walked into the kitchen before Joelle even found out in which drawer Bryan had his knives, she stood no chance. Joelle managed to hide behind a wall, hearing the creaking sounds of John's steps further off. She peeked her head around to see where he was, but didn't yet see him.

Hastily, Tom Marvolo Riddle ran after the unicorn. He had lost track of it several times but it always reappeared wherever he was, guiding him, leading the way all across London. He was now sure where the unicorn was taking him. He ran through the fields, passed by the black fenced cemetery, ran ahead. The unicorn disappeared in front of his eyes.

"Joelle!" Tom shouted when an unexpected rustling sound startled him. It came from the garden shed next to him, Tom almost didn't see it due to the darkness.

"Hey! Tom? Tom, quick, let me out, quick! Joelle! Quick! He somehow locked the door! Let me out!" Bryan shouted. Tom stepped in front of the garden shed. "Where is she," he said in a demanding tone, not letting Bryan out. Why would he.

"LET ME OUT YOU FOOL!"

"WHERE IS SHE?!" Tom yelled again. Bryan, out of breath, only managed to mutter "John! Cottage!" upon which Tom's eyes widened. He left without paying Bryan another thought, without hearing that Bryan shouted after him. "You can't get through! Dumbledore put up magical barriers!" But the wind, the snow, and Tom's arrogant confidence to handle things alone carried away Bryan's words.

"I didn't even have to try to get out of prison. It was crazy, Joelle! Hey, hear me out my precious, no, don't cry, LISTEN!" John yelled as Joelle kicked and whirled around once more while he lashed out, the knife stabbing into another wooden panel of the wall. Joelle ducked in time and ran back, screaming for help. She grabbed a chair, wanted to throw it into the windows, but John was quicker, he stormed over to her and ripped the chair away, Joelle fell to the ground, the back of her head bumping onto the cold floor hard, making her dizzy. John lowered himself on top of her, smirking as he was grinding against her. Joelle whimpered the whole time, she trembled and tried to speak but her bottom lip was too shaky to form a comprehensible word, let alone her voice that had a dance of nothing less than sheer angst.

"Mhm..." John purred. "Would you have guessed that your life would end below me? With me on top of you? As it should..." He chuckled, wiping away Joelle's tears. "The story...you didn't hear me out. Shhh. Shhh," John pressed his index finger against Joelle's lips. "The door...in prison...it opened," his eyes widened in delight as he told the story with nothing else but insanity. "Open! Just like that. Can you imagine, Joelle?" John chuckled. "The door just opened. Magic, don't you think? Mhm...someone must have unlocked it. Somebody who wanted to do me a favor, somebody who knew I was innocent! Somebody with a key," John chuckled again. And then his amused expression turned into a sinister grimace. Joelle was about so say something, but without another warning, without another word, John thrusted the knife into Joelle's stomach, a yelp of incomparable noise reached his ears, Joelle screamed from the top of her lungs. But John was merciless. Not once. Not twice. "For each year," he stabbed, "you will," another stab, "PAY!" His hand was all bloody, Joelle's screeches have died out, and just before he could thrust the knife into Joelle's body again, his eyes went glassy and still as a green jolt of light hit him from behind. He fell over.

Tom rushed down to Joelle, his face pale, mouth gapped open, his hands full of blood the moment he pressed them against Joelle's stomach in a first reaction to stop the bleeding, one hand grasped hers tightly, his voice forever in the ears of his own memory, for he has never whimpered, winced, trembled like this before. His wand hovered over her wounds.

"Joelle...!" He whispered. Joelle gasped for air, her breathing short and thin. Did Tom already know at this point? If yes, he pushed it away from his sanity.

"I..I'm s-sorry," Joelle croaked. Tom held her hand tighter, tried to think of a spell, he paid her an insane smile full of hope, but he knew it. Realization hit him here and now. It was too late. He was too late. The protection around the cottage was his downfall.

"Marvolo..." Joelle cried. "I-I'-m-scared," she coughed while Tom tried to heal the wounds. He looked into her eyes, his own widened with fear. "You won't die," he whispered, fixing her eyes with his. "You can't die! We were so close! Do you hear me! Joelle! You won't run from me again!" He yelled. "I won't allow it! I wasn't done! Joelle! Stay here, I wasn't done. I wasn't, you can't leave me," said Tom firmly, nostrils flaring, eyes narrowing; as if his strictness and command was all it took for her to stay. He grasped her hand, squeezing it, holding on it for dear life. "I wasn't done yet!" He exclaimed. "The soul binding - You can't leave...we've been too close...not yet, you can't..." he repeated over and over again.

"H-hold us," Joelle whispered. Without reflecting too much on whom she meant with 'us', Tom bent over to Joelle, holding her face with his bloody hands, kissing her lips. He felt it, just a bit, how Joelle managed to kiss back, he felt it, just a bit. When Tom opened his eyes again, he saw that Joelle had hers closed, her lips were motionless. It was too early for Tom to truly comprehend that Joelle, his precious Joelle, was no more.

Silence was ugly this time. Ugly, drawn out and cruel. It died the scene in stillness, it darkened the bright orange light, it made everything surreal. The stars were still shining, the earth still turning. And it was too early for Tom to comprehend that he was left behind. He could not withdraw from the scene, could not let go of Joelle's hand, could not stop staring. He hoped that some kind of magic was powerful enough to ignite the fire of life in her. But the only place that burned was the area deep down in the pit of Tom's stomach, enflaming his chest when he realized that Joelle was dead. She had gone to a place out of his reach once and for all. Tom could not follow. Tom could not leave. The Horcruxes prevented it. He was enslaved to live, unable to regret the several lives he sacrificed - for they had to be killed for Joelle to stay. But she was gone. She wouldn't come back. She was in a sphere out of his reach. Even if Tom found a way to die, his soul belonged to a place where he would never see pure hearted Joelle. She was somewhere else. Life was the only place to make her present, life was the only place to remember. Eternal memory, eternal pain.

With Tom's soul forced to remain forever earthbound, Tom had only one goal. And that was to make them all pay. To wipe out the existence of his downfall. Dumbledore. Muggles like John. Tom's eyes fell on the dead blond man next to him. Muggles. Here at the very moment Tom Marvolo Riddle, Lord Voldemort, swore to himself. He swore to himself that if his Joelle could not live, if Joelle the muggleborn witch could not stay, no single mudblood had the right. Muggles. Mudbloods. They had to die. They all had to die. Just like he died, with every breath of life he took, Tom was dying inside, bit for bit, everyday.

And then Tom saw it. In the distance. A dark shadow hovered above them and concentrated into the famous demon's grimace from back then. A loud clinking was audible when at last, a key fell to the ground.


	47. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 _Time moves in one direction, memory in another_ \- William Gibson

 _Weeks passed. It was one of those ever occurring cold Sunday mornings that caused Bryan Lessing to miss Joelle in a manner that made him feel incomplete. He knew there was only one way of making this condition of torture disappear. He had to see her. To visit her. Marching in the thick snow already gave him the certainty of having her by his side. Quite ironic, now that he thought of it, to be reminded of warm Joelle whilst walking through the cold. Bryan inhaled deeply. Blinded by the wish to be closer to her he forgot to bring flowers. Those weren't the only things he forgot. Looking back there were so many things left unsaid, so many words that he did not dare to speak. He could speak them now of course, all she could do was listen. She could not respond. Bryan rubbed a hand through his hair as he walked over through the fields to the black fenced cemetery, his heart beat slowing down and speeding up, he gulped and made his way further ahead, his hands in his pockets. He looked up to the sky while inhaling deeply, as if he could find Joelle staring down to him. He kept his eyes up there for some time, but stopped in front of a tombstone that he just did not dare to look at. He did not dare._

 _He knew what the tombstone looked like of course. He has seen it many times. He had ordered it back then. It was a snow white stone angel, a tall female statue, holding a marbled plaque that read:_

 _\- Joelle Colle 01.10. 1921 - 23.11.1946_

 _And unborn._

 _"In memory of a woman that could find summer in the coldest of winters. In memory of her unborn child, gone before experiencing its mother's full warmth."_

 _This was exactly how Bryan wanted to remember Joelle. Full of warmth. And even though he was busy fighting the tears, he knew that Joelle would have never wanted him to cry any. Not because it was over. Not because she was gone. It hurt._

 _"You have left too early..." Bryan whispered, finally daring to look at the angel tombstone. His eyes widened._

 _Unbelievable._

 _Draped gently around the stony winged woman's neck, Bryan saw something that forced the tears back into his eyes._

 _A black scarf._

* * *

 **Story complete.**

 **Thanks so much for reading**.

The first thing I want to say is: I am sorry. This story was never meant to be a romance novel. The ending I have chosen was the only ending I found working to stay true to myself and to the story. I loved it so much that destroying it was the only right thing to do. Anything else would have been wrong in my eyes. Releasing the final chapter was tough - Joelle and Tom were dear to me. But I wanted Tom Riddle, Lord Voldemort, to have a story. My story is a suggestion to explain why he has become what he became, it was my concept from the very beginning.

Some questions have reached me. If you have any, go ahead and ask. There will be a FAQ chapter released on March 2nd, 2017.


	48. FAQ

FAQ: Just a bit, while it Lasts

Here are some of the questions people sent me via PM and/or reviews.

1\. Did Tom love Joelle? Did she love him?

Throughout the story it was important to me that the word 'love' does not occur in the common context. It simply does not exist in Tom's world - Tom's character and the way I interpret him is based on this. I have been doing research on psychopathy and sociopathy for years, everything I came across was more or less shaping this story, however, it's also been important to me that those two words (psychopath, sociopath) would not come up in the story, either. Perhaps Tom is a psychopath - or perhaps he is not. I don't necessarily like making a final choice for everyone, mind you, J.K Rowling never used any of those terms and my story is somewhat the chapters in between; they build up on what she provided. To still give a more or less satisfactory answer: Tom was as close to love as someone like him could get with Joelle. What can definitely be said is that he was unconditionally obsessed with her.

2\. How did you imagine Joelle's looks?

I gave Joelle no official physical description because she was supposed to be everyone, the everyday girl. But I imagined Joelle to look somewhat like a darker haired Gene Tierney.

3\. How did you imagine Tom's looks?

The performance of Christian Coulson from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is how I imagine Tom Riddle.

4\. What inspired you to write the story?

Lord Voldemort is a character a lot of Harry Potter fans despise. He's the evil antagonist, but he has a story. I wanted to give him a story. It is my perspective on why he hates muggles, muggleborns and my take on reasons for his hatred for Dumbledore.

5\. In the original plot, Tom opens the chamber of secrets in his 5th year. Why did he do that if his dislike for muggleborns has only started after Joelle's death?

Tom's dislike for muggleborns has not started after Joelle's death, it has already been there before that. Joelle's death is what inspired him to manifest his goals, however.

6\. Why does Avery hate Joelle so much?

Being a half-blood, Avery had to face great prejudices while in Slytherin, shaping his character to become something greater. Since Joelle is a muggleborn witch, his prejudices towards her are based on that, too. He does not understand why a talented wizard such as Tom would ever choose Joelle, and of course he sees that some of his fellow comrades have a soft spot for her, too (Lestrange, Black). Avery is different there, as he states, not all men are crazy about Joelle. Joelle might be a likable character, but she was not supposed to be an all-loved Mary Sue. Avery was meant to give the story a bit more realistic dimension. Even though they don't get along, they started to somewhat accept each other towards he end.

7\. How did the other men and especially Avery react hearing Joelle is dead?

Avery felt oddly mixed about this, Joelle had saved his life twice after all. Black and Lestrange were downright shocked, especially Black couldn't help but shed some tears, he did somewhat fancy her from afar.

8\. Did Tom go to Joelle's funeral?

He was there but did not attend the ceremony. Dumbledore did, however.

9\. Why did Joelle not return as a ghost?

Being a witch, Joelle probably had the chance to come back as a ghost. I don't see it being Joelle's choice to do that, though. There was a short poem I wrote in which Joelle shows up in Tom's dreams, telling him to come and see her once the time has come, but I took it out of the plot, I felt it was too cheesy.

10\. Was the unborn male or female?

It would've probably been a baby girl.

11\. Can you explain the concept of demons and dark magic in your story?

Dark magic, in my conception, is linked to sacrifice. If a witch or wizard uses a dark spell, they are calling upon demons to borrow some power from a sphere they don't normally have access to as their own power is limited. I have never written this chapter, but threw in hints that Tom and a demon once met for a pact. The concept of a pact is that one's soul is handed over to the devil but in return, one will receive access to a variety of skills and unspoken magic. Tom, in his nature, could never accept something to be above him. So since Tom split his soul, a part of the pact became invalid because only an intact soul is of use for the devil. The demons felt tricked, but since the pact was ignored by Tom, they had a right to overcome laws as well and interfere with Tom's life, taking what was most precious to him.

12\. Why did Tom not kill Bryan after Joelle was dead? What held him back?

His promise to Joelle on her birthday that he would never kill Bryan held Tom back. Bryan has become the last remaining memory of that time for him, too.

13\. Did Joelle die guilty of the murders?

Bryan and Dumbledore were able to clear her record, perhaps with some magic necessary. Who knows. But Joelle did not die guilty at last.

14\. Who let Bryan out of the shed? Was it Tom?

No, Tom didn't. Bryan didn't get out until some of his colleagues from the department found him the day after. (I wonder who called them). Because Bryan was locked in, he was not considered guilty of the crime. It was easy for them to draw the conclusion that it was John once they saw the scene.

15\. In Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Nott owns a very powerful time turner. Nott is also a character in your story - what if...?

No. But to be honest, I did consider it when I read the book. But at some point, the result would be the same. Only Joelle's death is how there can ever be peace between them. Tom is too consuming a character.

16\. What was the symbolic of the black scarf?

In chapter two, Joelle wraps her black scarf around Tom as they build their very first snowman in the winter of 1937. She tells Tom to wear it when he goes outside to visit their snowman. The scarf was dear to Tom ever since, he even replaced it with the Slytherin scarf during his time at Hogwarts. Bryan found the scarf draped around the tombstone. Joelle, who 'melted' but somewhat became an eternal female snowman (angel tombstone), would be warm at last. This shows that Tom was there. And he did not forget.

17\. Why did Tom not want Joelle to learn dark magic? After all, he thinks only dark magic is true magic, right?

There might be several reasons, but the most prominent one as to why Tom doesn't want Joelle to learn dark magic is because he adores her purity. (Which, considering she is a muggleborn witch sure is a paradox). He knows that dark magic would taint her and he doesn't want that. Another reason is that he cannot imagine Joelle to compete against him in the dark arts, he would probably find the thought disturbing that she could fight back. Tom does care about power and dominance after all.

18\. What kind of roles did Tom's gang have in the story?

Black: Black is a rather friendly character, even though he is one of Tom's loyal followers. However, while getting to know Joelle, Black later realizes that the good is worth fighting for. My conception of Black is somewhat based on the little information I have of Alphard Black mentioned in the books; his true birthdate was never specified but it was suggested that it could've been around Tom's time. I believe that would've made him a part of Tom Riddle's gang while in Hogwarts; as it is mentioned that a certain "Black" was a part of it. Alphard Black is later disowned for helping Sirius Black with some financial aid, Sirius being earlier. Black's changing views on the world started to change while he was around Joelle, however, he lacked courage to truly abandon Tom, as he mentions in chapter 24: Dolls and Puppets:

"Don't, Joelle. I have no choice. Let's not spend our time believing we do."

Lestrange: Lestrange and Black are somewhat best friends, they represent the friendlier faces of Tom's gang. Lestrange is based on the looks that were suggested for him in the sixth movie: Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince. I don't necessarily know why, but Lestrange just seems a bit clumsy to me when I see his picture. That's why I gave him a clumsier personality that he, during the years, somewhat loses but can't completely get rid of. While talking to Joelle, his cautious and somewhat awkward nature still shines through - this, however, might just be the case because Joelle belongs to Tom, whom Lestrange respects deeply.

Avery: Avery is another occurring character that I really enjoyed writing about. He doesn't like Joelle, which was important in order to give the story a bit more authenticity. Avery wants to have more power, as Joelle very well addresses towards the end. Avery somewhat openly admires Tom for his standing as a dark wizard and he is envious of Joelle for the time Tom spends with her; he cannot truly understand why someone like Tom would waste their time with Joelle. Avery mostly works for his own goals, but he gets along with the others as long as they don't talk about Joelle. My conception of Avery is a mixture of the picture we see in the sixth movie and, strange enough, Amon Göth of Schindler's List. Fun fact: Amon is played by Ralph Fiennes, the same actor who plays Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter movie adaptions. (It took me a while to figure that one out though, it was a funny surprise).

Nott, Rosier, and Mulciber: Like Lestrange and Black, Nott and Rosier are best friends as well. Nott is especially important as an informant, known for his investigative work during the story. For instance, he gives Tom valuable hints about the ministry's actions and he's also the one providing Tom with information on the blood statuses of witches and wizards. It is possible that Nott's father is the author of the Sacred-Twenty-Eight Directory; a book on British pureblood witches and wizards. This is why I made Nott the character in charge of information. Rosier is known for his ability to assist Nott and set up spells when needed, but not much else is known about him other than him sometimes taking care of Joelle. Mulciber, too, is a rather invisible character, not much is written about him. He, however, is actively participating in any kind of meetings with Tom and his gang which suggests a certain degree of loyalty.

19\. JUST WHY?

I'm sorry!


End file.
